Chapter 49
Chapter Forty-Nine
The only light in the library was the candle flame that slowly wavered from the center of the coffee table.
Mason sat, his arms resting on the curved arms of the chair, a glass of untouched whisky dangling from his fingers.
He could hear a voice across the entryway in the other room.
There was laughter and loud meows from the kitchen.
No doubt Carlyle was making more cat treats.
The conversation in the kitchen had lasted for hours.
Rhona and Rowen had gone off together for a private conversation, while Kurt had pulled Mason aside to review some footage from the cameras placed throughout his estate.
It was during that time that Billings had called Mason from the secure mobile with some good news.
He had narrowed down the spies to six individuals.
That, in conjunction with the video Kurt had captured, alleviated some of Mason’s worry.
But not all of it. He should be there, protecting his home and staff.
It was difficult to accept that his presence could actually cause more harm than good.
Billings would keep the house running, and Mason could manage the estate from Skye.
That wasn’t why he was sitting in the dark library alone, though. His bags sat packed by the door, but he hadn’t made a move toward them. Remaining at the manor with Rowen so close was a special kind of hell. But so was returning to the cottage without her.
He would be wrapped in pain either way. There was no way he could cut her out of his life.
She was too important to him. The only way he could function was if he found a way to put some emotional distance between them.
Staying somewhere else, making sure not to sit beside her, not riding in the same vehicle…
They were all small steps that seemed simple enough, but he knew they would be impossible to carry out because he was drawn to her like the tides to the moon.
Their lives were intertwined on so many levels, in so many ways, that he would never be able to disentangle himself from her.
And he didn’t want to. It felt good to be with her.
Even if it was just walking beside her. He found it easier to smile when she was around. Her mere presence brought him joy.
And the passion. He drew in a long breath. It wouldn’t matter how much his body ached for release. He would never find the kind of contentment and satisfaction he had in her arms. He loved her. Absolutely. Completely. Unreservedly.
He had been gifted one spectacular night that had ruined him for all others, but it had been worth it. He might not get the happily ever after he craved, but he’d touched and held the kind of passion that many so rarely found.
It was Rowen for him, or no other. He wouldn’t do himself or another woman a disservice by trying to build a life together.
Mason was okay with that, too. He had found love, and he knew Rowen cared about him.
Maybe in another life, they could’ve been together.
Or perhaps in a previous life. People didn’t have the kind of connection they did and have their souls not recognize each other.
That gave him hope that he would find her again in another life, and there, they could spend years together laughing and loving. Perhaps even have children. He would hold on to that dream and his memories to get him through the rest of his life.
He sighed and looked at the ceiling. Then he leaned forward, placed his glass on the table, and pushed to his feet.
At the library doors, he paused and grabbed the handles of both bags.
He had left a note for Ferne so she’d know where he had gone.
He walked to the front door and tried to open it, but it wouldn’t budge.
Mason made sure it was unlocked and tried again, but it still wouldn’t move. He released one bag and put his hand on the wood as it finally dawned on him that the house was keeping him there. After a long minute, the door clicked open.
As he reached to grab the handle of his luggage, he glanced behind him and saw Carlyle holding open the swinging door of the kitchen, watching him. Mason dipped his head to his friend and slipped out of the house.