8. Jude
JUDE
“ W here is she?” Chris paces the floor and grinds his teeth and I’ve never seen him so upset. “Jess is never late for anything.”
“I’m sure she’s here. She’s just had a little emergency.”
Chris’s blue eyes stare at me. “What kind of emergency could she have today of all days?”
“A flower emergency?” I sound like an idiot and he huffs out an annoyed breath.
I don’t blame him. I’m not at my best. I didn’t get a damn bit of sleep last night. I found out what room Heather was in and I sat outside her fucking door all night long. I heard her crying and it broke my heart.
I hurt her. Over and over again I’ve hurt that woman and I never meant to do any of it. But I had to get away after I realized that she was asleep. I couldn’t bear to touch her, knowing that I hurt her so bad that she cried herself to sleep. What kind of animal does she turn me into? I touch her and it’s like my brain blanks out and all I can do is touch her until I explode in a frenzy of lust and desire.
She turns me into some kind of caveman. Some kind of feral beast that’s so focused on pleasure that he can’t think.
“Can you go find out if she’s here yet? Maybe check with Heather.”
I grimace and he sees it. “Can’t you two get along for just one day? It’s my wedding day, for fuck’s sake!” But I swear he mutters under his breath, “if she shows up.”
I nod my head and step out the door, closing it behind me quietly. I clench my fists and then stalk to the door where the bridesmaids are getting dressed. The bride insisted on having her own space.
I knock and it opens, Heather’s pretty face closing down, her red-rimmed eyes flashing away from me. “What?”
“Is Jess here yet?”
Her eyes come up and she fusses with her ugly green dress. I have my suspicions as to why Jess picked that dress out for her maid of honor.
“She should be? I don’t know. We haven’t seen her.”
“Can you go check?”
She huffs but steps out into the hall and then follows me to the room where Jess is getting dressed.
She knocks on the door and waits but there’s nothing. No call to enter, nothing. “Open the door,” I whisper.
Her head jerks back and her pretty pink lips tighten. “No way! I don’t want to see her.”
“Please. Chris is going crazy.”
“Fine,” she growls and then she turns the knob and pushes it open. Both of us enter the room but there’s nobody there. Only a bouquet of flowers on the dressing table and a note.
A sinking feeling hits my gut and I wince when Heather picks up the note. She reads it quickly and turns white. “Oh my god!”
“She isn’t here, is she?”
She shakes her pretty head and her dark auburn hair slips out of the halo of curls on her delicate head. “No. She’s not coming. It says she went back to her ex that sent her the flowers.”
I wince and swear under my breath. “Dammit! Chris is gonna be gutted.”
Heather tilts her head up, her chin jutting out. “I’ll tell him.”
I stop her, my hand on her arm. Sizzling electricity burns like fire in my veins and I let her go quickly. “I’ll do it. I think he’ll take it better from me.”
I’ve had to tell him a lot of bad stuff over the years. This one’s bad but we’ll both survive.
She nods and follows me out of the room and down to where the groomsmen and the groom are getting ready. I open the door and she moves ahead of me. Chris sees us and smiles.
“Thank god! You two were making me nervous as hell! Did you see Jess? Is she alright? Are we gonna get this show on the road soon? I’m anxious to marry my girl.”
My gut twists and I see the tears in Heather’s eyes. “Oh, Chris.”
He glances back and forth between the two of us and I can see the fear in his eyes. “What’s going on?”
I hand him the note. “I’m sorry, man. She’s not gonna be here. She left.”
I don’t need to tell him why, he’s reading it. But I cringe when he crumples the note up in his hand. “Okay. Well, I guess we better let everybody know. I’ll go talk to the minister if you guys go talk to everyone else.”
Then he stalks out of the room and down the stairs.
I glance over at Heather and she sighs, “I’ll tell the girls. You tell the guys.”
We separate and then after I’ve let the guys know I walk down to where the ceremony was going to take place. But there’s nobody there. So I wander out and back to get the guys and head back to the hotel. It’s quiet as hell and I don’t know what to say. Heather’s crying quietly in the corner and I want to hold her in my arms and tell her that everything’s gonna be alright but I don’t think this is.
We get to the casino and I head up to Chris’s room with Heather but nobody’s there and the place looks like it’s been tossed.
“Where do you think he’d go?”
“Bar,” I say, heading downstairs. She follows me and I want to turn around and touch her but I don’t. I keep walking.
As soon as we walk in the door I see Chris at the bar with a woman on each side of him, holding a glass and chugging the red wine like he’s in a drinking contest in college. The two women giggle and hold onto his arms like he’s a god.
Heather gasps beside me, her wide eyes shocked and uncertain. I stride up to him and grab his arm, gently moving the woman out of the way. “Excuse me.” Then I tug at Chris’s arm. “Man, you need to go back and get some sleep. I don’t know what exactly you’re thinking of doing but it’s not going to go well.”
He turns blank eyes on me. “I’m having a drink and toasting to these two lovely ladies. Both of them toss their feathered headdresses and shimmy their jeweled hips. Heather flinches.
“Ugh,” she whimpers.
“Hey! Your sister is over there and you’re about to make an ass out of yourself. Get yourself under control and go upstairs and sleep it off.”
He shakes his red head and glares at me. “I’m gonna have some fucking fun tonight, Jude, and you can’t stop me. I need this.” He reaches out to pull the other girl tight into him and kisses her so long that I worry he’s gonna pass out from lack of oxygen.
Heather gasps and I lose my head. I grab him and jerk him away. “Listen, buddy. I know that you’re disappointed but you’ll get over it. We’ve all been disappointed in love once or twice. You’ll survive.”
“Oh really,” he snorts. “You’ve had more pussy than any guy I know so don’t tell me that you’ve been disappointed in love, asshole!” He turns away and grabs the girl and fury sparks in me as Heather flinches.
“Asshole! The girl I love is someone I can’t fucking have! So don’t fucking tell me I’ve had every woman I’ve ever wanted.”
“Oh yeah,” he scoffs. “Who?”
And like a complete utter idiot I blurt out, “Your fucking sister, asshole! I’ve loved her my whole life.”
Heather gasps as his fist hits me right in the gut and I drop to my knees, gasping.
“My fucking sister!” He snarls. “Have you touched her? She’s too good for the likes of you, asshole! I told you that. Many times. You better not have touched her.”
I stand up, wheezing, as Heather grabs his arm and tugs at him.
“Don’t do it again, Chris! Don’t you dare!”
I stand up straight and stare at her. “Let him. I deserve it. I shouldn’t have touched you. I knew it but I couldn’t. I’ve been in love with you since you were sixteen.”
Chris jerks his arm out of hers and growls, “Fucker!” His fist connects with my face and I stumble, but I don’t defend myself. I deserve this. I hurt her.
My face is throbbing and I want to stumble away and curl up, forget it all happened.
Chris charges at me and Heather screams as he tackles me, his head butting my aching belly as he slams into me. I grunt and he slams us both to the ground. His fist hits me again and then strong arms grab us both and drag us apart. Heather is standing at the bar, tears streaming down her beautiful face, her cheeks pale and her lips bloodless.
I smile at her through my bloody lips. “I deserve it, baby. I hurt you. I made you cry yourself to sleep. I was too rough and I’m so damn sorry, Red. I’m a bastard. I don’t deserve you. Nobody does. You’re too good for all of us mere mortals. A fucking goddess.”
And then the guys drag both of us out of there, Chris still screaming for my blood.
We’re both dragged out by the cops and I lie my head back in the cell where I ended up to sleep it off.
My whole body is aching but it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as my heart does.
For just one second today, I had it all. And now I’ll never have another day in heaven. Another day with my very own angel.
I’ve fucked it all up and lost the girl and my best friend all in one day. There’s no fixing that.