Chapter 6
CHAPTER 6
Deacon
Nathan kissed like a typhoon. Intense, powerful, and impossible to stop once started. All I could do was cling to his shoulders and try to hold on for the ride. Even kissing him back, sealing my mouth over his and tangling his tongue with my own, made me feel like a puppet being led through a dance rather than an equal participant.
Before I realized what was happening, I lost my balance and fully sat on the desk. My feet were off the floor, and only my grip on his shoulders kept me upright.
When we finally parted, I was panting like I’d just run from one end of the desert to the other, overwhelmed yet still parched.
“This... is this how you always interview potential employees?”
He leaned forward so I could feel his erection grinding against mine.
“The interview started and ended the moment you stepped through that door. All you had to do was show up.” He pulled back just enough to put an inch of air between us, and I instinctively gripped him tighter. “If all you’re looking for is a job, then it’s yours. You can walk out of here right now and start working. No questions asked. However... if you’re interested in more...” He nipped at my bottom lip with his teeth, startling a gasp out of me. “I can offer that, too.”
I should have said “no”. All I wanted was a job to further my career, and now I had it. Nathan’s offer to be the lead designer for a major fashion company was more than I’d been hoping for. Yet, now that I had achieved my goal, something greedy and insatiable welled up inside me.
I wanted more than just a career. I wanted thrill, and Nathan Sterling was nothing if not thrilling.
Wrapping one of my legs around his hips, I pulled him closer and chased away the space he’d put between us.
“More. Definitely more.”
He sighed in relief, kissing me again so passionately that I fell flat against the desk. Something tumbled off the desk and crashed to the floor, but I didn’t care enough to look. If Nathan was worried about the contents of his desk, he didn’t show it. He didn’t even seem to be aware that we’d knocked something over as his hands started wandering down my body.
“Good,” he gasped when the kiss ended. “I said you could walk out of here no questions asked, but I might have been lying. I’m not sure I could have let you go so easily.”
Was he joking or should I take that threat seriously?
More importantly, did I care?
I probably should. I’d had bad experiences with people being too forceful in the past. Memories of my second, and last, boyfriend came to mind.
I shuddered.
Yet, I didn’t get the same feeling from Nathan. Although the man claimed he wouldn’t let me go, the way he held me said differently. His hands felt like a cradle rather than a shackle. I could leave their grip if I wanted, but why would I want to when it was so much more comfortable to stay exactly where I was.
Rather than try to explain all that, however, I just ran a hand through his hair and pressed a series of kisses down his neck. He was fully clothed, so I still couldn’t see the tattoos hidden beneath, but I caught a glimpse of something that looked like a snake on his neck.
How far did the tattoos go?
There were also some signs of ink peeking out of the cuffs of his sleeves.
Were these the only ones, or was there a whole canvas of artwork hidden beneath his clothing?
Within his dark hair, there was some gray at his temples. He was obviously older than me, but I was hardly a fresh-faced teenager myself. Twenty-eight may not seem old to a lot of people, it probably didn’t even seem old to Nathan, but it was enough for me to know what I wanted and what I didn’t want.
I wanted him, consequences be damned.
One of his hands crept under my shirt while the other started to undo the clasp of my pants. I didn’t have the confidence to do the same to him, but I did dare to slip a hand into his back pocket. Even through the thick material of his pants, I could feel the firmness of his muscular physique. Every inch of the man seemed to have been carved from rock. A real-life walking statue, come to life specifically for the purpose of ravaging me.
I sucked at the skin of his neck, determined to leave a mark. This might be our only time together. We hadn’t discussed what this encounter actually meant. Even if we never interacted as more than professionals after this, he was going to walk out of here with evidence of me carved into his flesh.
The moment my teeth touched his skin, his breathing turned erratic. I wasn’t surprised that Nathan liked things a little rougher. He seemed like the type to prefer a dominant role in bed. However, I was surprised by how quickly he responded. Surely, he had plenty of experience. The slight sting of an aggressive hicky shouldn’t be enough to get him excited.
There wasn’t time for me to ponder this discovery further. By then, he’d succeeded in undoing my pants, pulling them down a few inches so my waist and hips were exposed. The feeling of my mouth at his neck seemed to have spurred him into action, and he pushed his hand deeper into my pants to squeeze my ass in a demanding grip.
Before I even realized what was happening, one of my legs lashed out and kicked him in the hip. He grunted and stumbled back a step, nearly tripping over the office chair behind him.
I stared at him from my position sprawled over the desk, shocked and bewildered over my own actions. He was also obviously confused, looking between me and himself like he didn’t understand what just happened.
Realizing what I’d done, my shock turned to shame. In a panic, I started apologizing so quickly my words all slurred together.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean... I shouldn’t have... That wasn’t what I meant. I don’t know why I did that.”
That last part was a lie. I knew exactly why I’d reacted that way. I just thought I was over it by now. So stupid. I was a grown man, nearly thirty years old. Sex shouldn’t be this hard or nerve-wracking.
I didn’t realize I’d been mumbling to myself the whole time until Nathan tipped my head up by the chin and forced me to look at him.
“Have I overstepped? You seem... uncomfortable.”
“No, it’s not... I definitely want this. I just...”
What was I supposed to say?
The explanation felt so childish. However, the only other option was to let Nathan think he’d done something wrong, and that was unacceptable.
Still sitting on the desk, I curled one leg up against my chest and wrapped my arms around my knee like I was hugging a childhood toy. It probably made me look younger than I was, but at that moment I didn’t care.
“I’ve never... The idea of having someone... inside me, has always kinda freaked me out. I don’t know why. It’s just always made me nervous.”
I could see the thought in his eyes the moment it flickered though his mind and I quickly waved my hands to dispel it away.
“I’m not a virgin. I’ve done plenty of stuff, just... not that.”
The troubled look still didn’t leave his eyes, and with a quiet sigh, he pulled the desk chair closer to sit down. The position put him lower than me, so I had to look down at him. My legs fell to either side of the chair as I faced him, and he placed his hands tentatively on my knees as if testing to see if his touch was still acceptable.
“I’m sorry,” I said, and set my hands over his to keep them there, letting him know that his touch was very much wanted. “I’m ruining the mood, aren’t I?”
“Not ruining anything,” he said as his thumbs traced the seams of my pants along my inner thigh. “However, don’t lie to me.”
I immediately tried to protest, to assure him that I wasn’t lying. One look from his hazel eyes, as sharp as a diamond blade, silenced me.
“Being nervous about penetrative intercourse is fine.”
Something about the clinical way he said “penetrative intercourse” made me blush in embarrassment. If felt like he was a teacher giving me my first Sex-Ed lesson.
“However,” he continued, adding extra emphasis to his words to make sure I was listening. “That wasn’t a nervous reaction. You literally struck me to get me away from you. That is the reaction of someone who is genuinely afraid, and you didn’t even seem to realize you were doing it. That is more than just natural nervousness over something you haven’t done before.”
Everything he said was a statement, yet a question was woven through his words. He wanted answers about my reaction, but he wasn’t going to ask outright. It was my decision whether or not to tell him.
Taking a deep breath, I started what I knew would be an awkward explanation.
“I said it used to be fine, and that’s the truth. My first boyfriend, when I was in high school, hated how reluctant I was about sex. I tried to keep him happy with other things, but it was never enough, and we eventually broke up. It was sad, but fine. Later, when I was in college, I tried dating again, but the nervousness was still there, even worse than before. Again, I tried to compensate in other ways, and I enjoyed everything we did, but it was never enough. We’d only been dating for about two weeks when he... got more insistent.”
Nathan’s grip on my legs tightened until I could feel the stitching of my own pants. “Did he force you?”
“No,” I was quick to reassure him. “I didn’t let it get that far.”
Instead of looking reassured, as I’d hoped, Nathan just looked more upset.
“That fact that you had to stop it from going so far means that being forced was a possibility. Even if it didn’t happen, your own lover was willing to go that far and force you into something you didn’t want.”
“Yeah, well...” I shrugged, not sure what to say. “I left before it got that bad, and obviously broke up with him. Haven’t seen the bastard since. It’s fine.”
I was trying to have a serious conversation, but Nathan’s hands had started stroking up and down my legs. It was probably meant as a soothing gesture, but I just found it distracting, like I was being teased with something I couldn’t have.
“ Fine is not the word I would use,” Nathan said with a frown, seemingly oblivious to the effect his hands were having on me. “If you’re still reacting so aggressively to just being touched, even years later...”
I immediately cut him off. “No. It’s not affecting me. I mean, yeah, it did for a while. For, like, a year after I broke up with my second boyfriend I would freak out and push people away whenever they got too handsy, but I got over it. I just... wasn’t paying attention this time. It’s been a while since I was intimate with anyone. Too busy with my career, you know. So, I forgot to control my reaction. Sorry. It won’t happen again. I promise.”
Standing up so he was once again leaning over me, Nathan planted his hands on the desk on either side of my hips. “You shouldn’t have to control your reactions in order to enjoy sex. Now, if you’re still interested in pursuing something with me?—”
“Yes,” I cut him off, nodding eagerly as I once again gripped the lapel of his jacket to pull him closer.
Nathan let out a single barking laugh with enough force to ruffle my hair. “I’m glad you’re so enthusiastic, but please listen to my whole proposition before agreeing.” One of his hands left the desk to cup my face and stroke my cheek. “If you’re still interested in pursuing something with me, then how about we start slow and work our way up. See if we can get you comfortable with everything sex has to offer.”
Maybe it was due to the fact that arousal was clouding my brain, but I didn’t need to think about his proposition very long before agreeing.
“That sounds great, but...” I hesitated for a moment as reality cut through the hormones turning my brain to soup. “But what if I can’t? What if I’m never comfortable enough to give you what you want?”
Our foreheads pressed together in an oddly intimate gesture, so close that our breath mingled.
“You’re already giving me what I want just by being here,” Nathan said softly. “However, if you mean what will happen if you’re never comfortable enough to really let me fuck you... Well, like you said before, there’s plenty of other things we can do.”
The sound of such a crude word coming from his lips lit a spark of arousal in me, and I let my hands travel down his torso to fumble for his belt buckle.
“Oh, yes. That I can do.”
Before I’d even gotten the buckle undone, he stopped me.
“Not like that. I have a feeling you’ve always been the one putting in more effort. We’re going to do things a little differently.”
I looked up at him confused, but he merely gave me a wicked grin in return.
“Lie back.”
His hand on my chest pushed me backward until I was lying flat on the desk again. For a moment, my nerves returned as he stood between my legs and slid my pants down until they were all the way off my hips.
“Wait, what are you?—”
Before I could finish the question, he shocked me into silence by dropping to his knees in front of the desk.
He pulled my legs over his shoulders and pinned my hips to the desk. His mouth found my cock and he started sucking me eagerly.
“Wha— Oh god. You’re...” I tangled my hands in his hair, feeling the motion of his head without pushing him away or pulling him closer. I wasn’t even sure what to do other than let him have his way with me.
It was true, since I could never go as far as my partners wanted, I always ended up on my knees, offering my mouth as compensation. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had done such a thing for me.
Although I had little experience on this side of a blowjob, I could tell one thing for certain. This wasn’t Nathan’s first time performing in such a way. His mouth moved with too much confidence, easily finding every sensitive spot on my cock with his tongue and taking me all the way to the back of his throat without gagging.
He’d done this before. An image of Nathan on his knees for previous lovers, pleasuring them with his mouth just like he was doing for me, sprung to mind, and jealousy sunk its bitter teeth into my heart.
I came after an embarrassingly short time. My orgasm snuck up on me quick and sharp. I barely had time to warn Nathan before the pleasure building in my gut snapped and I erupted in his mouth.
I still clung to his hair so tightly; I was surprised I didn’t pull any out. I hoped Nathan’s office was soundproofed; otherwise everyone in the building was going to know what we were doing from the sound of my shouting.
Only when I’d calmed down enough to breathe without panting, and removed my hands from his hair, did I realize that he’d kept me in his mouth the whole time. He’d swallowed my pleasure like a pro, and when he looked up at me with a glint in his eye, he licked his lips just to taunt me.
Oh, yeah.
Nathan definitely had plenty of experience. For the first time in years, I actually felt like a virgin in comparison.
He was also obviously aroused, his pants so tented I was surprised he hadn’t popped the stitching of his fly.
“Come here.” I beckoned him closer. “Let me take care of that.”
I expected him to insist I get on my knees and return the favor, and I was more than happy to do so. However, instead of letting me off the desk, he kept me flat on my back and leaned over me until his face was buried against my neck. Opening his pants just enough to pull his erection free, he started stoking himself while sucking bruises into my skin.
I couldn’t see exactly what he was doing, but the sounds and the suggestion of his motions caught my imagination better than if I’d been able to directly watch him. My blood was already turning hot, and while I couldn’t get aroused again so quickly, I had no doubt that it would take very little effort.
Lying there without participating was torture. I couldn’t sit still. With a hand in his hair, I raised his head off my neck and kissed him instead. He grunted in surprise, but quickly realized I didn’t mind the taste of myself on his lips. To the contrary, the secretly possessive corners of my heart enjoyed tasting the evidence of what he’d just done for me, and I eagerly licked into his mouth.
The motion of his hand sped up, and it wasn’t long before he was moaning into my mouth as he came as well. At some point while I wasn’t looking, he’d grabbed a tissue off the box on the desk, so he didn’t stain either of our clothes. I appreciated it, because I was fond of the shirt I was wearing—one of my own creations, of course—but I also wouldn’t have minded walking out of the office wearing the obvious evidence of our shared pleasure.
We took a few moments to clean up using the office’s meager supplies. Afterward, we were technically presentable, but there was also no denying what we’d just done. Nothing could hide the satisfied daze in my eyes, or the way his hair didn’t quite lie flat again after having my hands tangled in it.
“So,” Nathan said, leaning back casually in his office chair as if half the items usually placed on his desk weren’t currently scattered over the floor. “I’ll send you the details of the job. Can you get started by the end of the week?”
I couldn’t help but laugh as I finished pulling my clothes back into place. “End of the week? Ha. I’ll be planning out new ideas on the journey home. You’re...” I gave him what I hoped was an alluring smile. “Quite the creative inspiration, Mister Sterling.”
While my smile had been flirtatious, his returning grin was pure sin.
“Happy to lend a hand, Mister Millar.”