Chapter 11
“Masha,” Erin calls, knocking on the door. “Please don’t make me come in unwelcomed. I need to see that you’re okay before Em storms his way over.”
I stumble out of bed. The room spins. I stretch my arms out, allowing the wall to break my fall. This is why I haven’t ventured out of bed for more than a few minutes at a time. I haven’t even managed to get up to eat or drink, but I have to make my way to the door. The last thing I want is to see Em. I don’t care if I ever see him again.
I’m ashamed and embarrassed. Of everything. Of how I spoke to him. Of how I acted. Of allowing a disgusting monster to touch me, let alone fuck me. And when Em confronted us, what did I do? I defended the freak. I’ll gladly deal with Erin. She’s not likely to be quick to judge after falling in love with a leshy.
I shut my eyes and shield my face from the bright sun as I open the door.
“Oh, Masha!” I hear pity in her voice and wonder how bad I actually look. “You poor thing!” Erin hugs me. “You look sick.”
“I feel sick. I don’t know how many times I threw up in the last two days.”
“Come,” Taking me by the hand and wrapping her arm around my waist, she leads me to my couch. She helps me sit as if I were a young child. “Let’s see if we can get some water into you.” She takes one step away before I grab her hand.
“Don’t.” I sound pathetic as I use all my strength to pull her back.
She sits next to me. “You need to let it out, don’t you?” I meet her eyes for a fleeting moment and nod. “Okay, but first, let me empty the basin. It smells like vomit in here, and that can’t be helping you. I’ll be right back.”
I lie on the couch in the fetal position, waiting. When Erin returns and sits next to me, I cry.
I cry like I haven’t since Mike died. For a long time, Erin doesn’t say a word. She smoothes my hair and stays with me. She doesn’t ask questions or offer useless advice. She lets me be.
“How about a sip of water?” She asks after getting more material for me to blow my nose.
I shake her off.
“One small sip. You need to stay healthy and hydrated. Ana’s getting worried, especially with the horse tied up. All she wants to do is pet it, but Em terrified her, telling her if she touches him she’ll be stuck, and then he will kill her.”
“Horse? That thing had a horse?” Of course he did, he’s half horse.
“He is the horse.”
“What?” I sit up, only slightly engaged in the conversation. Honestly if she hadn’t mentioned my daughter, I wouldn’t care at all. But how does Erin know the horse is Finn? “How?” And why do I feel a hint better hearing he’s a horse than that sea creature I saw?
“The horse responds to ‘Finn.’ Em said he heard you call him that. Anyhow, When Em figured out what he was, he made a magic bridle with a silver bit and a cross decorating the vines holding it all together. He’s tame for the moment and can’t hurt anyone. Em’s just upset that Finn won’t speak to him. He won’t tell Em how he found the forest or why he’s here. And then there’s the necklace.”
“What necklace?”
“Kelpies wear a silver chain, and whoever has it controls the kelpie. But this kelpie had no chain. He had to have one, but Em can’t find it, which is making him angry.”
I shrug, doing my best not to care. I don’t. To prove that, I’ll hand over the chain he gave me. I couldn’t take it off fast enough when I saw what Finn turned into. It’s on the floor somewhere near my bed. Probably close to the basin I threw up in.
I don’t have the strength to deal with that now. I’ll give it to her later. For now, I just want to close my eyes. I don’t speak to Erin again. I’m not sure when she leaves, but sometime before sunset, I drift off to sleep. Into the land of cursed dreams.
Mike takes me to an outdoor concert at night. The violin player wears a tux, and we have front row seats. The crowd roars after the first song. The second song, the man playing the beautiful music looks me in the eye. His blue eyes hold me paralyzed. He plays until I stand and dance, happy and smiling. The music doesn’t stop playing. Not even as Finn sets down the violin, takes my hand, and holds me close as we dance until the moon gives way to the sun.
I shoot up, sitting upright on the couch. I moved too fast, and now the room is spinning. My stomach clenches and spasms. My heart beats like I’m running for my life. I need to see Finn. I crawl on my hands and knees, hoping to get to the basin before the bile comes spewing out again.