Chapter 23
“You’re beautiful!” Erin steps back as I spin around like a five-year-old in her first fancy gown. “You always are, but now, you look radiant.”
“Thank you. And thanks for everything you’ve done over the last month. You’ve been a huge help in every way.”
“No thanks necessary. Besides, I’m sure you’ll help me out when the time comes.” Hmm. She adjusts my dress so that it hangs off my shoulders. “Masha? Can I give you some advice? Consider it my something borrowed.”
“I would if this was a real wedding.” I can’t keep myself from making this seem less important to me than it is.
“It’s as real as you want it to be in your heart. Finn adores you. I know there’ve been times when you’ve looked at him and seen something terrifying. I know because, for a short while, that’s how I saw Em.”
Great. Just what I need right now, a reminder that no matter how much I want him to be, Finn isn’t a man. He isn’t human.
“The thing is,” she takes hold of my hands and squeezes tight. “Their hearts are different too. I think they’re bigger and capable of a love so deep, we can’t fathom how far it goes. They love us more than any human could. So, while there will still be times when you will see Finn in a light you’d rather not, you can choose what you believe, deep down. Choose not to see a dangerous monster. See the fearless creature that will fight to the death to keep you and your children safe.”
“Thank you.” My heart beats heavy in my chest.
“One more thing. You deserve this. This man. This life. You deserve a lifetime of happiness.”
“Mama, do you hear the music!?” Ana bounds into our bedroom wearing her favorite dress. “It’s beautiful.”
“It is,” Erin agrees, looking surprised. “You don’t think it’s . . .”
I nod. “I know it is. He plays like an angel. You never heard the music at night?” Erin shakes her head. “Strange. It’s how I discovered Finn, playing at the spring under the moonlight.”
“How romantic.”
“Uncle Finn is making that music?” Ana asks. There is so much I need to be filled in on, like what does she know about him? And how and when did she start calling him uncle?
“Ana,” I bend down so that I’m eye level with my daughter. “How would you feel if Finn became your daddy?”
Her eyes open wide, along with her mouth. “I can have a brother and a daddy?”
“You have a brother—that’s not negotiable. The daddy part is up to you.”
“Uncle Finn is so strong, and he’s handsome, too.” Her cheeks fill with color, and her eyes drop to the line she’s drawing with her toes. Someone has a crush.
“Yes.” I agree, taking her hand. “Finn is very handsome. What do you say we go make him part of our family?”
*
With his eyes closed, waves of peace and tranquility unfurl from Finn to me. I can almost see the invisible ripples coming my way. I know I’m making the right decision.
“Finn is my future,” I tell myself, hoping it’s enough to keep me from turning around and hightailing it back to my cottage.
“Yes, he is,” Erin confirms. Damn. She wasn’t meant to hear that.
I turn my attention back to the striking man entrancing me with his violin. I watch him cradle the instrument beneath his chin, stroking it gently. I will never tire of watching him play. My heart strums as if it’s made of strings, and each pull of Finn’s bow plucks it as well.
He continues playing, uninhibited as if no one is looking, even though the small crowd of onlookers grows with each note. Erin, Ana, and I aren’t the only ones watching; animals creep out of the foliage to get closer to the melodious sounds.
Finn’s blue eyes open and shine like diamonds as they lock on mine. His lips curl into a smile that sets my heart on fire. The periwinkle sky with pink and purple streaks looks like a painted backdrop. Everything is perfect.
Finally, but also all too soon, Finn sets his violin down and comes to stand next to me. His eyes soak me in, raking over my body before he grasps my hands in his.
“I can’t believe you just gave birth and look this incredible. It’s not fair to other women.” He leans in and stops short of kissing me on the cheek. “I know it’s only been hours since we were together, but I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.” I squeeze his hands and close my eyes, trying to allow the happiness I’m fighting to flood through me. Not yet. Not until I see my baby. I’m crawling out of my skin not having him on my hip.
“He’s fine, Masha,” Em approaches us. I hate when he answers questions I haven’t asked. “Look.” He directs my eyes to a basket of weaved vines at his feet decorated with crosses made of twigs and vines. My mouth opens, but before I can speak, he continues. “There are no thorns, and the vines are weaved tight enough to keep him in a shallow base of water.”
“Em no, he can drown!” I try to yank my hand away from Finn, but I can’t detach. I’m stuck to him. Fear spikes through me as I keep pulling. Before I allow it to take over, I look to Em. He’s calm. He won’t let anything happen to me or my son, I remind myself. He can’t.
“He’s sleeping peacefully. Once this formality is over,” Em looks to Finn, “there will be no need to keep him from you or Ana any longer.”
“Keep him?” I turn back to Finn, seething. “You’ve been lying to me? Again?” I struggle to break free. “You wouldn’t know the truth if it bit you in the ass!”
“Masha!” Em’s deep voice rumbles, interrupting my tirade. “Erin’s going to keep a close eye on him so you have no need to worry, won’t you?” He pauses just long enough for Erin to nod her agreement, then adds, “For the record, I’m the one responsible for keeping the baby from you, not Finn.”
“You?!” Anger boils inside me like lava about to spew out of an active volcano.
“Sweetheart,” Finn’s thumbs brush over the back of my hands. I can feel the tranquilizing effect, but I’m too angry for it to take hold.
“What?!”
“Can we get on with this so I can place our son in your arms? It’s dawn, and time is of the essence.”
“What, are you a vampire now?”
“Dusk and dawn are when fae magic is strongest,” Em explains. “And we will need to draw on it. Now, let’s begin.”
Em doesn’t wait for me to answer, nor does he give me time to ask Finn why we need fae magic.
“Finnley of the Kelpies, I am in possession of your silver chain. I command you to set Masha free.”
Finn releases my hands. Turning toward Em, he takes the piece of jewelry.
“Wait.” I look at Em, confused. “Finn and I touched earlier and I didn’t have the bracelet or necklace on and I didn’t stick to him.”
“I held his chain and ordered him not to stick to anyone in his human form.”
“That’s how you were able to hold Ana?”
“Yes,” Em answers. “But for the ceremony I removed all orders. For my blessing, Finn must make sacrifices of his own free will, or else I can’t permit him to stay in the forest.”
Just the thought of Em sending Finn away makes my nerves twist like licorice sticks. I look back at the man I love and give his hands a squeeze.
“Masha, as the woman I pledge my life to, I offer you not just my heart, but also my free will. Accept this chain as a sign of my love for you.”
He’s handing me his free will. Hearing him put it in these words gives me perspective. I didn’t realize giving me his chain meant he trusted me not to abuse my control of him. And in a fit of anger, I threw it in his face. I turn to Em, unsure of what I’m supposed to do.
“Do you wish to spend your life with Finn as your lifelong mate?”
“Yes.”
“Tell him what’s in your heart.”
“Finn, I accept your gift and promise never to use it to harm or mistreat you. I will only ever ask for your love and devotion to our family.”
He leans in and clasps the silver necklace around my neck.
“By accepting this, you control my free will. You have my life in your hands.” He turns to Em and takes the bracelet I once wore. “I give you this gift as an added layer of protection. With the help of Emerald Hickory, the leshy charged with your safety, we shored up the magic it holds. As long as you wear this on your wrist, you will never stick to a kelpie against your will, and you will have the ability to breathe underwater for at least twenty-four hours. Do you accept this as a sign of my love and dedication?”
“I do,” I answer, my entire body trembling with a surge of love that feels like uncontained electricity.
“Ana?” Finn turns his attention to my daughter. “Please come here.” With pink cheeks, looking like she wants to hide behind me, Ana steps forward. Taking a smaller bracelet from Em, Finn bends so that he’s eye level with my daughter. “Ana, I offer you this bracelet as a sign of my love and dedication to you. I wish to be your father in every way, starting by offering you the same protection from kelpies I have given to your mother.”
“What’s a kelpie?” She looks up at me.
“I’ll tell you later,” I whisper. “Do you want Finn to be your daddy?”
“Yes!” Ana says, lighting up the darkening sky. She lunges at him, but I pull her back before she can touch him. I have his chain, but Em said he needs to do this of his free will. Ana pouts, disappointed.
“Let Finn put the bracelet on you first, then you can give him a big hug and kiss.”
After Finn secures the small bracelet around her wrist, Ana wastes no time in wrapping him up in a hug. The piece of my heart I’ve been holding back is no longer under my control. It now belongs to Finn.
“Now, may I have my son, please?”
Finn bends and lifts the basket holding our baby. He places it at my feet. He looks nervous, and I can tell I won’t like what’s coming next.
“Our little Nugget is one of a kind.” Finn’s eyes bore into mine. “His powers and strength are unknown. Until he’s old enough for me to teach him how to control shifting, among other things,” his eyes drift to Ana. I get it; this is about keeping Ana safe from her little brother. “I think it’s best to bind his powers, but I need you to agree.”
I didn’t expect this. I didn’t know this was a possibility I should consider. I thought the toughest decision we would have to make would be whether or not to circumcise him.
“Masha,” Em nudges me. “Time is of the essence.”
“Then I can hold my son?”
“I promise,” Finn answers. “For as long as you like.”
I have nothing to base this on, no prior experience with kelpie babies. I look at Finn and squelch down my internal panic. “You believe this is for the best?”
He nods. “I do. I believe it’s necessary, and Em agrees. Until Nugget is old enough to take direction and understand how to control himself, he needs to be bound.”
“Nugget?”
“It suits him, don’t you think?”
“We’re not calling him that.”
“Personally, I like Nugget,” Em chimes in. I shoot him a dirty look.
“Nobody asked you.” I wait for Erin to say something, but she remains silent. “This is why you need the fae magic?”
“It is.” Finn takes a deep breath, his chest rising.
“Will it hurt him?”
“No.”
I nod. “Okay, do it.” I take a deep breath.
“Once we start, we can’t stop. We have one shot at this. I need you to be strong and put your trust in me.”
“Go for it.”
Finn and Em kneel at my Nugget’s basket and chant words I don’t understand. My son screams and cries out. He’s in pain. My eyes tear as I lurch in his direction. I need to stop this.
I stop at the feel of Erin’s hand on my arm. I look at her, my heart hurting. She shakes her head, and I know she’s right. My instinct is to help him, but I can’t interrupt what is happening. Erin pulls me and Ana into a hug.
I close my eyes and breathe, waiting for this to end so I can hold my son again. This time, I don’t think I’ll ever let him go.