Chapter 5
Chapter Five
MERRY
I had to walk out before I said something I regret. But now, lying here alone, it’s like I can’t sleep until I’ve had the last word. The man infuriates me. Yet I know it’s because I still care so much. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be bothered.
He’s under my skin, like a parasite making me itch.
I roll over in the humongous bed, facing the window. A sliver of light shines through a gap in the curtain from across the way. Throwing the covers back, I pad over to the French doors, open the curtain, and suck in a breath at the sight of Alex sitting on a lounger, swirling a glass of eggnog in one hand and holding a doobie in the other.
Lifting my dressing gown from the hook on the back of the door, I wrap it around my body, hiding an old festival t-shirt I’m wearing, then slink out of the bedroom to the poolside.
Tiptoeing over the cold tiles in my bare feet, I reach the lounger next to Alex and sit sideways, facing him. “Is your back playing up again?”
His lips quirk. “It’s the pain in my neck causing me problems tonight.” He offers me a drink of his eggnog and I take it, bringing the tumbler to my mouth and taking a big gulp.
The liquid is smooth on my tongue, like velvet. I lean back on the lounger, making myself comfortable, lifting my legs onto it.
Alex reaches a hand under my lounger, then pulls it close to his, scraping the legs along the patio.
I squeal at the sudden jolt, spilling a few drops of eggnog onto my dressing gown.
Alex holds the joint between his lips while he reaches to the side of him and retrieves the bottle. “Top up?” He unscrews the cap and fills the glass.
I take another gulp and then hand it back to him before lifting the doobie from his lips and bringing it to mine. The piney aroma fills the space between us and I inhale, needing something to relax me in my ex-husband’s presence.
The gentle lapping of the ocean in the distance and the crickets are a welcome backing track, breaking the silence between us. We’ve known each other long enough to sit in silence, and I know when he’s licking his wounds. I’m sure the pain in his neck meant me.
My lips curl in the corner. For years, I wished we weren’t tied together with an unbreakable bond. Having a child with someone means they’re in your life forever, whether you like it or not. It’s difficult to move on with a constant reminder of the past. And just as our son is marrying and starting his own life, there’s a potential grandbaby thrown into the mix. Another thing to tie us together.
No matter what I do, there’s no escaping him. But I realise tonight that I don’t want to.
He reaches over and takes the joint from my fingers. “I think you’ve had enough of this.”
“I’m just getting started.” A giggle bursts from my lips, the effects taking hold. I lean over onto his lounger, reaching for it, but he moves his arm, holding it farther away.
Before I know it, I’m climbing onto his lounger, full of giggles, my face inches from his as I reach for the smoke.
I gasp as he grabs hold of my waist and pulls me down onto his lap.
A growl rumbles from deep in his chest. “Be a good girl now.” His eyes darken as he brings the joint to my lips.
I get another hit, but his praise is better than any high as I’m catapulted back twenty years. This man could make me submit and do anything he pleased. Having a high-pressure job, I needed that release from him. Tie me up and take away all control. It’s what I liked to call housewife BDSM. We didn’t practice it properly. I imagine the press would have had a field day if we were active members of a club, but just having him take away all my decisions for a night was liberating.
Staring into his eyes has my body weakening, my clit throbs as he hardens beneath me. It’s been so long since I’ve felt comfortable with a man. In my work, it’s hard to trust anyone. Having a one-night stand with a stranger isn’t an option and a colleague’s more likely to stab me in the back.
He stubs the joint out on the ground, then runs both hands along my thighs under the dressing gown until he reaches my knickers. A groan vibrates in his chest.
I hold on to his shoulders as he kneads my behind, forcing my hips to rock back and forth. “Alex…” My voice is no more than a breathy whisper as tingles take over, the heady sensations making me delirious.
He tugs at the dressing gown, opening it to reveal his festival t-shirt from years ago. His eyes sadden as he takes in the date on my chest, either that, or he’s just noticed how saggy my breasts are without a bra.
“You still wear this t-shirt?” His eyes flick between mine and my chest.
“It’s comfortable.” It’s also sentimental, and I couldn’t part with it if I tried.
His fingers tug the dressing gown off my shoulders, then he traces over the ketchup stain from the festival on the t-shirt sleeve. Moving down over my breast, he outlines the blue felt-tip mark from Finn, then he rubs the small burn on the hem between his fingers, from the night we drank too much whiskey and almost set fire to the kitchen while cooking bacon sandwiches at three in the morning. Our history is woven into the stitching. There’s no wonder I can’t part with it.
“How can a t-shirt hold so many memories?” His eyes glisten under the moonlight as he gazes up at me.
“Let’s make another night to remember.” I fist the collar of his shirt and press my lips to his. All the tension leaves my body as I relax into the old familiar warmth of his mouth.
His hands find the bare skin of my back as they wrap around me underneath the t-shirt, holding me close against his chest. It’s been twenty years since I felt these firm hands on my skin and I savour the feel of him, knowing this is probably the last time we’ll get a chance to be intimate again.
The narcotics may have taken away all my inhibitions, but the need for this man has always been there, lying dormant just beneath the surface. Even though he aggravates me to death, he’s the only man who’s ever been able to make me weak at the knees.
He slips his tongue between my lips, taking over the kiss. I lick and swirl against his, but I let him take control. It’s what I’ve always loved about him, how he can take control of my body and summon an orgasm from me at his will.
I fiddle with the buttons on his shirt, desperate to have my hands on his skin. My core pulses as he thrusts from the bottom, seeking the pressure he needs against his erection and giving me what I need in return.
“Merry,” he whispers against my lips with a groan. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”
I ignore his protest, silencing him with my lips. “But it’s the only thing that feels right.”
He latches on to me, sucking my tongue into his mouth, his hands squeezing my breasts as if moulding them to his palms while flicking my pebbled nipples with his thumbs.
I need more of him. I need to remove the fabric between us and feel him inside my heat. That delicious stretch I’ve missed for so long. Lifting from his lap, I unbuckle his belt. My fingers brushing against the steel in his trousers has my body burning up.
“Merry, what are you doing?” His eyes search mine.
“What does it look like I’m doing? That joint gave me the munchies.”
His chest rocks with a silent laugh, but his fingers tremble against the crease of my thigh. “Is it your pussy that’s hungry for my cock?”
Oh fuck. He still has that dirty mouth. I say a silent prayer, thanking the heavens for this night. My hand wraps around his shaft and I’m also thankful he’s as hard as he was all those years ago and just as big as I remember.
His fingers slide between my thighs, over the damp cotton of my knickers. “Your pussy’s practically salivating for my big cock, Merry.”
“Move my knickers to the side and give it to me.” I shuffle over him, trying to line him up so I can sink home and get myself off.
His hand fists my hair, forcing me to look him in the eye. “Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything. Now stop talking and fuck me already.”
He yanks my head to his, crashing his mouth against mine. With his other hand between my legs, he tears the cotton of my knickers as he pulls the gusset aside and drives into me from the bottom.
It takes my breath away as he fills me in one swift thrust. I undo the last button on his shirt and pull it apart so I can run my hands over his inked chest.
Rocking our bodies together, I’m lost in the heat of the moment. Nothing else matters but chasing this high. The world forgotten, along with all our issues. I know this is going to complicate our relationship, but that’s a problem for future me. Right now, I’m going to milk his delicious cock for all its worth and enjoy tonight.
He pants and groans against my lips, nipping and sucking. We’re all teeth and tongues as we claim each other.
My body temperature rises and I shrug off the dressing gown hanging from my arms.
Alex tugs at the t-shirt. “Take this off too. I want to bury my face between your tits.”
I hesitate, knowing my body’s a lot different from when we were together, but at my age, I’ve run out of fucks to give and curl my fingers around the hem, lifting it over my head. A shiver courses down my spine and my nipples tingle in the cool night air, but nothing compares to the hot cock inside me, stoking a fire deep in my belly.
Alex pushes my breasts up and swoops down, taking my nipple between his teeth.
I arch my back and cry out as he bites, then sucks as if he can draw milk. Miracles do happen. I thought I was all dried up until I arrived here, now my pussy’s like Niagara Falls. With each rock of my hips, he hits the spot inside me that’s been dormant for so long.
“Merry.” He hisses through his teeth as I roll my hips. “Fuck.” His eyes widen just as his muscles tense.
I freeze. “What’s wrong? Is it your back?” Oh crap. My first sexual encounter in years and he does his back in. That’s just my bloody luck.
His face contorts as if he’s in pain, his dick no longer like a rod of steel, but more like a mushy banana that’s past its sell-by date.
I climb off, not wanting to do any more damage, and sit on the lounger beside him. Slickness pools between my touching thighs and it’s clear this isn’t all from me. I may have been wet, but now there’s a river of cum leaking from my vagina. “You came?”
“Don’t be mad.” He winces again, but now I know it’s with embarrassment.
“So your back’s okay?” Please let his back be okay.
“I’m fine. It’s just my pride that’s hurt.”
“How long before… you know. It rises again?” I tap my fingers against the plastic lounger while I patiently wait for the second coming. I’ve waited years for this. I can wait another fifteen minutes.
He scratches the back of his neck. “I don’t know, morning?”
“Morning?” I shout.
“I’m nothing but a mortal, Merry, with a fucking goddess riding my dick. I couldn’t stop it. It’s been a few months since I’ve…you know.”
“A few months?” I whisper yell. “Try a few years for me. I haven’t been this disappointed since we lost the election.”
“Lie back, let me make it up to you.”
I relax back onto the lounger, staring up at the moon. I should be seeing stars right about now, but all the headiness seems to have vanished when he shot his load.
His fingers graze my nipple, working their way down over the round, soft flesh of my belly.
My skin breaks out in goose bumps. A cool chill swathes over my skin, pebbling my nipples again.
“You’re just as I remember you, Merry.” He strokes the plump V where my thighs meet. “Open up for me.”
I spread my legs, the air turning my slick thighs cold.
His hand delves deeper, sinking two fingers into my heat as he gazes into my eyes.
When we were fucking, we were both lost in the moment, but now he’s finished, all the attention is on me. It’s intense, suffocating, overwhelming, and electrifying at the same.
The way he’s gazing into my eyes is giving me all sorts of feels that I haven’t experienced in twenty years. Feelings I thought I’d handled, but now they’re back and threatening to drown me as waves of emotion and memories crash over me. I gasp for breath, but it’s like I’m unable to reach the surface as his captivating gaze holds me prisoner.
“You still like it like this?” His thumb circles my clit while his fingers curl inside, stroking me there. “And this?” He breaks eye contact, but only for a second as he presses his lips to my neck. After all this time, he remembers exactly where I like to be kissed and how I like to be touched.
“Alex, it’s okay. You don’t have to do this.” I turn my head away from his penetrating gaze, afraid he’ll be able to read me like a book and know the only reason I need this to stop is because it’s too much. This is only going to end in disaster. I’ve spent too much money in therapy getting over this man to dive right back into his bed without a second thought to the repercussions.
“I want to do this.” He presses his lips to my neck again, now he has better access with my head turned.
“It’s fine. I can see the enthusiasm is gone. Don’t worry about it.” I move to the side to reach for my t-shirt, but he pulls me back down on the lounger. My body shivers, but I’m not cold.
“If it’s enthusiasm you want, I’ll show you enthusiasm.” His eyes darken. With a curve of his lips, he hovers above me, caging me between him and the lounger, then he yanks my thighs apart.
I gasp at the cool night air hitting my sensitive spot, still slick with his cum.
His mouth parts as his eyes rake over my aching pussy, still weeping and desperate for attention despite me wanting to claw my way free. I’m in the five stages of stress response and right now I’m in freeze mode as his hot breath lands on my clit.
“My tongue’s always been faster than my dick.” His mouth smothers my sensitive area, then sliding between my folds, his tongue swirls around my throbbing bud.
My legs tremble as he pins them down, his hands squeezing the flesh on my inner thighs.
Alex groans into me, sucking and licking at my clit, his teeth nip at my folds and he inhales my scent as if getting himself high. “Is this enthusiastic enough for you?” Not waiting for an answer, he buries his tongue inside me.
I cry out. My hands holding onto the lounger. “Alex.” My hips lift, needing more of that tongue inside me, then he growls into my pussy. My walls clench, every ring of muscle contracting around his tongue as my body shakes. The heat from his mouth travels through my veins like an electrical current, making my limbs jerk as it zaps every nerve ending, making me zing with ecstasy.
Despite the cloudy sky, I see the heavens. A kaleidoscope of colours swirl in a never-ending galaxy as my body thrums with white heat. Everything seems hazy as I come down from the high and I focus on the moon peeking through the clouds.
Alex hovers above me, blocking out the light of the night sky, then something hard thrusts inside me, taking my breath away.
My eyes widen, focussing on Alex and connecting with his dark brown irises. “I thought you couldn’t go again till morning?”
He pounds into me with a bruising thrust, his thick, hard cock hitting that delicious spot inside me. “There’s something about my ex-wife coming on my tongue that got my engine going again.” Swooping down, he claims my lips, his tongue dipping into my mouth, licking around mine. I taste the salty and sweet arousal, a mixture of both of us on his tongue.
I wrap my hands around his biceps, loving how they feel beneath my palms, but I can’t do much other than cling to him as he continues to pound into me at voracious speed.
“We’re gonna come together this time,” he says against my lips, then licks my tongue again.
I hum against his mouth, unable to speak with his tongue fucking my mouth and my body jerking under him with each thrust of his pelvis. I’m like a rag doll at his mercy and I love it.
“Come for me, Merry. Come with me.” He groans against my mouth, his pelvis rubbing against my clit as he thrusts deeper.
My toes curl. I arch my back. White heat spreads through my belly.
“That’s it, Merry, come on my cock like a good wife.” Sweat coats his forehead as he drives into me harder.
I’m a quivering mess as tingles fire from my centre, my walls pulsing around him. I’m like a pool of jelly, but I didn’t miss how he called me wife. As I gaze into his eyes, it’s like no time’s passed between us. His eyes are still the same deep brown pools that I lost myself in all those years ago, as if we haven’t aged at all and we’re still in our twenties, with all the exciting promises that life has to offer.
Alex drives into me again, groaning with his release and panting for breath as he crashes on top of me, barely holding himself up, his heavy breaths warming my neck as he kisses me there.
My heart stutters, as if remembering how I loved this man. It beats wildly against his chest like it wants to escape my rips and fuse itself with his, where it once belonged. I don’t think it ever fully healed when I severed our ties.
Emotions clog my throat and threaten to leak from my eyes. I want to punch him in the face, pound his chest for walking away from our marriage. I may have been the one to initiate the divorce, but he never fought for me. He never flew in and tried to convince me otherwise. Years of therapy to accept our fate and now it’s all out the window. And instead of hitting him, I cling to him, wrapping my arms around him and soaking up as much of him as I can, hoping it will sustain me for another twenty years without him.