Chapter 11
Jordy
My steps echoed off the concrete floor. It was a small hallway, so there wasn’t much room. Just three steps, then I hit the wall and had to turn around.
Step, step, step. Turn.
Step, step, step. Turn.
Over and over again.
After about five minutes, this pattern was so ingrained into my brain, I was unconsciously breathing to the beat of my own footsteps.
I’d seen Kitt go through those doors a little while ago, and I was fairly sure he was alone.
It was my perfect opportunity to thank him for sticking up for me earlier. That was all I wanted to do.
Why was it so hard?
Enough.
I needed to either walk through the door or leave. Loitering around in the hallway outside was getting me nowhere, and at this point, it was starting to get creepy.
I wish I could say I pushed through the doors with confidence, completely sure of what I was about to do.
However, nothing could be further from the truth.
I hesitated with my hand on the handle, and I ended up opening the door so slowly the hinges didn’t make a sound as they moved.
I slipped inside the room like a shadow clinging to the walls and shut the door just as silently behind me.
The explanation for the safe house we were staying in was that it was an old cold war bunker that had been converted into a luxury retreat, and nowhere was that more obvious than in the place’s many amenities.
The private gym wasn’t large, but it had everything a person could want.
Treadmills, free weights, cable machines, and even a boxing ring off in the corner.
That was where I found Kitt, all alone as I’d hoped, and punching a heavy weight bag like he meant to snap it off its chains.
He was also shirtless.
What was it about this man’s wardrobe that it always swung toward the extremes?
He was either completely buttoned up in a three-piece suit, or he was showing off an absurd amount of skin in nothing but a pair of loose pants.
Did he not have any casual outfits that still covered him?
A T-shirt, or a sturdy pair of jeans?
No, apparently, he either left everything to the imagination, or nothing. There were no in-betweens.
Not that I was complaining. The sight of his bare back brought me up short, and I instinctively hid behind one of the workout machines.
His muscles rippled each time his fist made contact with the bag, and sweat dripped down over his skin, making him glisten under the harsh florescent lights.
I could hear his heavy breathing, even from so far away, and my own pulse rate quickened in turn.
A familiar heat settled in my stomach, but this time I didn’t panic.
Instead, I silently cheered with a sense of victory. I’d taken one more step toward becoming a healthy, functioning adult.
Kitt kept working the bag until some unknown signal told him he was done. He didn’t seem tired, so I knew he hadn’t stopped just because he ran out of energy. Rather, he stared down the bag like it was an enemy he had defeated while he unwrapped the boxing gloves from his hands.
“If you think I can’t see you, then we need to have a talk about your stealth abilities.”
I jumped and ducked farther behind the weight machine.
Was he talking to me?
Of course he was. I was the only other person here. Yet, he wasn’t looking in my direction. His gaze was firmly locked on the far wall that was lined with mirrors.
Peeking out behind from behind the weight machine again, I gasped and hung my head in shame when I realized the mirrored wall clearly showed my hiding spot.
He was right. I wasn’t being stealthy at all.
“Ha, um, sorry,” I mumbled as I stepped out into the open. “I didn’t mean... I wasn’t... I just... sorry.”
What could I even say?
This time there was no curtain of water to hide behind. I’d clearly been caught spying on him.
At least he didn’t seem mad as he turned to face me. If anything, he seemed completely relaxed as he stood there, sweat still clinging to his heated skin, and the boxing gloves dangling loosely from one hand as he braced his other hand on his hip.
“You know, I don’t mind.”
“Huh?” The unexpected comment shocked me out of my embarrassment, and I instinctively straightened out of my defensive posture. I must have looked like a lost puppy with my head cocked to one side as I tried to figure out what he meant.
Laughing under his breath, Kitt tossed the boxing gloves aside.
“I don’t mind if you look at me. It’s my job to stand in front of a jury and hold dangerous people accountable for their crimes. I’m used to being looked at in all sorts of ways. Being admired is definitely the best option.”
His long legs brought him closer to me in a few easy strides, but he stopped just outside of arm’s reach. It was a safe distance. The kind of distance that would give me plenty of opportunity to run away if I wanted but also invited me to come closer if I wanted.
Normally, I’d have been inclined to run, but the man was still standing there shirtless, and at this distance I could count the lines of his abs.
Kitt laughed, this time with more heat to the sound.
“Unless... you’re interested in more than just looking. That’s a different conversation.”
With a sharp jolt, I realized he was right. I actually was thinking about coming closer. I could so easily picture myself reaching out to him, that I could practically feel the heat of his skin under my fingers already.
What the hell was I thinking?
Even if there was nothing wrong with being attracted to Kitt, Clay had already warned me that he had a partner.
Realizing what I’d been about to do, my mouth went dry, and I took a stumbling step back.
“I-I don’t... um, I don’t think your partner would like that very much.”
Now it was Kitt’s turn to look confused. It was a subtle expression. The man seemed to keep all negative or vulnerable emotions close to his chest, but his brows pinched together, and his dark eyes flickered as if a dozen thoughts raced behind them at once.
“What are you talking about? I don’t have a partner.”
Relief washed through me at the thought that Clay at been wrong.
“Oh, well, that’s good.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized how insulting my comment probably sounded and immediately tried to backtrack, waving my hands in front of myself as if I could erase my words from the air.
“I don’t mean it’s good that you’re alone. I just mean that it’s good I’m not, like, being a home wrecker or anything.”
With one more step, Kitt crossed the line into arm’s reach. I could have touched him if I wanted, though I still didn’t dare. As he leaned against the weight machine, I could practically feel the heat radiating off his body.
“A home wrecker? Is that your goal?”
“No, no,” I quickly disagreed. “I’m not a home wrecker. That’s the whole point.”
“But only because I’m single.”
Kitt didn’t move a muscle, but something about his presence still gave off the feeling of leaning closer, like the intensity of his gaze warped the space between us.
“I’m curious,” he said, his voice slightly softer than before. “If I wasn’t single, would you actually be in danger of being a home wrecker?”
I’d never truly thought about infidelity before.
I’d never even had a relationship and never experienced what it was like to have one person’s love all to myself and compared to everything else I’d faced in the past, the pain of being cheated on didn’t seem worth worrying about.
However, just because I’d known worse pain didn’t mean the pain of infidelity was meaningless.
I’d known too much hurt in my life, and never wanted to be the cause of it if I could help it.
“I would never ask anyone to cheat on their partner for me,” I told Kitt seriously.
“And if you were willing to do such a thing, honestly, I would lose respect for you. That being said...” Biting my lip, I swallowed my nerves and managed to look him directly in the eye.
“If you did already have a partner, I would definitely be disappointed.”
This time, Kitt actually did lean closer. There was still at least two feet of distance between us, but with every inch that gap closed, our conversation felt a little more intimate.
“Well, then you’re right. It’s a good thing I’m single.”
It had taken everything I had to meet his gaze, but I couldn’t hold it for long.
The man’s eyes were intense, and I had no idea how his opponents managed to stand against him in the courtroom.
If I was an opposing lawyer, one stern look from him and I would immediately agree to whatever he was saying.
I dropped my gaze, my eyes landing on the large expanse of bare skin within reach. He was still shirtless and seemed to be in no hurry to cover himself.
This had to be an invitation, right?
Why else would he make sure to let me know that he was single and point out that he didn’t mind me looking at him, if he wasn’t at least a little interested, right?
I didn’t have any experience with proper relationships, and even I could tell that Kitt’s words and actions were suggestive.
I wasn’t so naive that I didn’t notice. I just wasn’t sure what I wanted to do about it.
I must have taken too long to respond, because when I looked up again, the flirty look had disappeared from Kitt’s face and was replaced with a serious expression instead.
“Actually, maybe it’s not so good,” he said as he ran a hand through his sweaty hair and pushed it out of his eyes. “This isn’t a good idea. Considering the nature of this case, I should probably just leave you alone. I’m sorry.”
He stepped away, heading toward his shirt that was hanging nearby.
As I watched the distance grow between us, the pit in my stomach grew cold.
The nature of the case?
I knew what that meant. Kitt had defended me when Thomas and the other witnesses shamed me over my past as a prostitute. Somehow, in their eyes, and the eyes of so many others, that was worse than being trafficked because I’d technically chosen it.
I’d assumed because Kitt defended me, that meant he didn’t care, but I was wrong. He may not be turned off by my past, but he pitied me. In his eyes, I was something fragile. I was something that needed to be avoided, not out of disgust, but for my own protection.
Fuck, I was tired of this.
I was tired of sex and attraction always being so complicated. It always seemed so easy for everyone else. Even Clay, who’d been through the exact same traumas as me, had managed to figure it out and now had a picture book romance with Logan.
Well, I could do it, too. I could figure it out. Sex and relationships didn’t need to be complicated. I’d put in literal years of work at the recovery center, and come hell or high water, I was taking the next step.
“Kitt, wait,” I called as I chased after him.
He stopped and turned back to look at me, but before he could say another word, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss.