Chapter 14
Jordy
“Do you think I should dye my hair again?” I asked Clay as we sat together in his cottage.
Clay had chosen a cottage near the front of the bunker, which didn’t have as good a view of the pool but instead, looked out over the fake lawn. We could see everyone coming and going, but I was too distracted tugging at a lock of my own hair.
Clay looked up from the book he’d been reading. “What do you mean? Didn’t you just dye it?”
“Well, yeah,” I agreed as I pulled my own hair in front of my eyes to try and see the color for myself. “But I was just wondering if it was actually the best color for me. Maybe I should have picked something else.”
Setting his book aside, Clay looked like he was about to respond, but then his attention was stolen by the window I’d been staring out of for the last twenty minutes. More specifically, at the group of people standing on the other side of the lawn.
For the time being, meetings with all the witnesses had been canceled. No one said it, but we all knew why. We couldn’t risk a repeat of the last meeting. It had been over twenty-four hours since my argument with the other witnesses, and the tension still hung over the atmosphere of the safe house.
It was for this reason that I didn’t even realize the new witness had arrived until I noticed Kitt and Sebastian speaking with someone I didn’t recognize.
Even from a distance, it was clear that the man was another of the bell ringers’ Angels.
His strawberry blond hair was impossible to miss, especially in the light of the bunker’s artificial sun.
Growing up, I’d seen so many different shades of blond on all the other kids I was kept with.
At this point, I was practically a connoisseur.
One wouldn’t think that a single color could come in so many different shades, but I could probably list a hundred different varieties.
I’d always preferred the shades of blond that managed to mix in other colors, like brown or red, rather than just being one note.
The brighter the better.
Clay studied Kitt and Sebastian, along with the new witness, for a moment. “What color would you change it to? Red?”
“It’s an option.” I shrugged. “Red is more assertive than pink, right?”
Technically, if you broke it down to the fundamental elements, my hair wasn’t that different from the new witness’s strawberry blond. It was just shades of pale yellow and light red mixed together. Yet, the end results between the two of us were completely different.
I was startled out of my contemplation when a firm hand on my shoulder suddenly turned me away from the window.
“Jordy, don’t do this to yourself,” Clay said while looking at me with a frown.
“I know we were never taught what a healthy relationship looks like, but changing yourself to match someone else’s preferences never ends well.
Even something as simple as this. Just because a guy likes redheads doesn’t mean you need to go dying your hair. ”
The concern in Clay’s eyes made me shiver. There was a lot I could unpack from his little speech, especially concerning my instinct to always match my partner’s preferences. It had been a survival mechanism growing up, but now it was just a habit I couldn’t shake.
However, all of that went right over my head, and instead, I latched on to one specific detail that Clay had let slip.
“He likes redheads?”
With a groan, Clay dropped his face into his hand. “Well, I’ve never actually asked, but his partner’s a redhead, so I guess so. But that’s another thing. We’ve talked about this before. He’s already got a partner. So, please, for your sake, move on. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Oh, right. Clay had said something about Kitt having a partner. But I’d asked Kitt, and he insisted he was single. I knew Clay wouldn’t lie to me about this, but I also had the sense that Kitt was also telling the truth.
After all, what would be the point of lying about being single only to then deny me?
If Kitt was lying to get me into bed, then he would have jumped at the first chance I gave him.
No, both Kitt and Clay were telling the truth. So, there must have been some other misunderstanding going on.
Yet, before I could say another word, we were interrupted by the door slamming open.
“Hey, Clay, you here?”
“Oh my God,” Clay yelled as he ran to the man standing in the doorway. “Logan, what are you doing here?”
Despite asking a question, he didn’t give Logan a chance to answer before jumping into the man’s arms and sealing their lips together.
Clay was only a few inches shorter than Logan, so their height difference wasn’t drastic.
Yet, Logan still managed to hold Clay so tightly that his feet dangled off the ground.
He didn’t even seem to struggle to support Clay’s weight while kissing him.
Clay and Logan were blocking the doorway, so there was no easy way for me to leave. My best bet was to simply wait until they remembered I existed and let me pass with the least amount of awkwardness possible.
Until then, I averted my eyes. This wasn’t a moment meant for me.
I could barely imagine what it was like, to care for someone and miss them so much that I would literally climb them like a tree out of joy at seeing them.
It seemed nice, and Clay and Logan definitely made the exchange look enjoyable, but even with the scene happening right in front of me, it felt more like a dream than reality.
A fantasy I could see but never touch, like being stuck on the wrong side of a pane of glass.
Through the window beside me, I noticed Kitt going off alone with the new witness.
Luckily, the uncomfortable moment didn’t last long. Clay and Logan soon parted as Logan explained that he’d been the one to bring the new witness here, and that he’d volunteered for the job specifically for the opportunity to visit Clay.
The two of them were so wrapped up in each other that, even though they’d stopped kissing and Clay’s feet were once again on the ground, they still didn’t remember the rest of the world around them.
They were stuck staring into each other’s eyes with their arms wrapped around each other, completely blind to everything else.
I couldn’t blame them. After being separated, of course they were eager to see each other. However, it was awkward for me. So, before they could start making out again, I not so subtly cleared my throat.
“Oh, Jordy,” Clay gasped, spinning in Logan’s arms to face me. “I’m sorry. I forgot you were here.”
“It’s fine,” I assured him as I waved off his concern. “I’d happily leave you alone, but...” Rather than explain with words, I just waved vaguely at the door they were blocking.
With another round of mumbled apologies, Clay and Logan shuffled away from the door, never stepping more than a foot away from each other in the process.
My exit was finally free. I could have just left without another word, but I couldn’t resist making one final remark on the way out.
“So, should I tell everyone that you’re busy and not to bother you, or will hanging a sock on the doorknob suffice?
That’s what they always do in college movies right? ”
Clay’s response was to lovingly stick his tongue out at me, then shut the door in my face.
I laughed as I returned to my own cottage. Laughter was an easier emotion to feel than envy or longing. So long as I was laughing, I didn’t have to think about the loneliness sitting like a cold pit in my stomach.
Although, maybe it didn’t have to be that way.
When I reached my cottage, I froze with my hand on the front door and looked back toward Clay’s place that I just left.
Seeing Clay and Logan together had given me an idea.
Logan was the lead investigator for the bell ringers case, and Clay had been the primary witness before I even came on board.
Yet, there was nothing stopping them from being together.
If anything, standing together through this trial seemed to have only made their relationship stronger.
Maybe there was hope for me yet.