Chapter 24 #2
“I need some advice…maybe a little help until I can…” Oscar’s voice trailed off, his stomach churning at the thought of what he was about to say. His entire life, Oscar had thrown himself into darkness after darkness, crawling from year to year just so he wouldn’t have to ask for help.
But this wasn’t about Oscar. This was about Aaron.
“What do you need?” Lucas asked.
“I might…you know…college doesn’t leave me enough hours to earn anything meaningful.
But even if I…” Oscar sighed. “Even if I quit,” he said a little more quickly, “it would take time to earn enough, and time is something I don’t have.
He’s convinced, and he’s scared, and I need him to have the answers.
I’d pay you back with interest. We’d make a payment plan.
I’d pay it back every single month, the moment I get a full-time gig.
I’ll even get a second job. It’s just so I can settle with the private hospital and get him the scans right away. I promise I’ll—”
Oscar stopped dead as the bedroom door clicked open and Aaron walked out, eyes full of sleep, squinting in the direction of the bathroom and scratching his head.
“You’re still up,” he mumbled.
Oscar turned back to his screen, and Lucas waved him off, hanging up before Oscar could even say goodbye. He shut his laptop and stood, taking out his earbuds.
“Why do you look like I threw a vat of hot oil in your face?” Aaron blinked, suddenly far more awake than he’d been a moment earlier. “What’s going on? What were you doing?”
“I was just talking to Lucas,” Oscar said.
“Why did you hang up so quickly? You don’t have to come to bed just because I want to sleep.” He frowned, face pinching. “I don’t want you to tiptoe around me like I’m about to break.”
“I wasn’t.” Oscar swallowed his trepidation and approached him, taking his hands. “I may have a solution.”
“To what?” Aaron asked, eyes dimming as he looked away. “My genetics?”
“No, boo. I…Lucas is…” Oscar licked his lips, his mouth suddenly dry as a desert. Why was it so hard to admit? “They’ve got money.”
“Don’t you even dare!” Aaron pulled away, eyes widening. Maybe he hadn’t scalded Oscar with oil, but he certainly looked like he’d been drenched in a bucket of cold water, wide awake, sirens flashing across his eyes. “No, don’t tell him.”
“Aaron, I…” Oscar bit down on his lip, faltering as the realization hit him. His face and neck heated at the sight of Aaron’s mortification. “I didn’t think.”
“Well, shit.” Aaron turned away, huffing and shaking his head. “Fuck, Spike. That was private. I haven’t even spoken to Tobe about it yet. None of my friends know. How could you…”
“I wasn’t thinking. I just…he’s my…I needed…” Oscar rubbed his face. “I told my therapist, too. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I haven’t been thinking straight. I’m so sorry.” It was Oscar’s turn to walk away now. He paced to the table and back, running a hand through his hair, tugging, cursing at himself.
“A therapist is a therapist. That’s okay.” Aaron waved a dismissive hand in the air. “But how am I supposed to sit with them for Mario Kart night when they know this ugly thing about me?”
“Ugly thing?” Oscar bristled at the sound of Aaron’s words, the way they sat on his tongue like poison.
In two short strides, he was standing in front of him again, hands wrapping around his arms. “Nothing about you is ugly. A hard thing, yes, which we don’t know about for sure.
But this is not a thing to be ashamed of, Aaron.
So what would it matter if you sat with them on camera, and they knew? ”
“It matters.” Aaron’s voice was thick. Oscar wanted to breathe into his mouth, to ease him, to scrape the emotion off the inside of his throat and swallow it. “If I talk about it, it’s real,” he whispered.
“Boo…” Oscar was still looking for his next words when his phone pinged loudly, cutting through the silence of their living room.
Aaron’s eyes darted to his, an invitation to look, and Oscar witnessed the hope in them, unmistakable and true as his own name.
With shaking hands and a shakier breath rifling through him, Oscar pulled out his phone, tilting it so Aaron could look at the notification that had just shown up, a message sitting underneath the generous amount Lucas had just transferred into his account.
Lucas Miguel Herrero-White: Absolutely no interest owed and no rush to pay. Fine to spot you more if you need. Tell Aaron we’re rooting for him. Take care, chico, and stay in school. Here if you need to talk. X
For a breath longer, Oscar and Aaron stood quietly in front of each other and said nothing. Eventually, the phone screen went dark again, and it was Aaron who covered Oscar’s hand around it and pushed it down, drawing his attention back to his face.
“Okay,” he said, “let’s find out then.”
“Yeah?” Something inside Oscar loosened, another organ in a different part of his body tightening at the same time, heart and stomach battling for recognition he could not afford, standing in front of the only thing that mattered.
“I’ll call my doctor in the morning,” Aaron replied. “Now I’m going to pee and then you’re coming to bed, and we’re going to cuddle until I fall asleep. Maybe kiss for a little while as well.”
“Whatever you want, boo,” Oscar said, running his fingers up the line of Aaron’s jaw.
“You,” Aaron replied, rising to the tips of his toes to kiss him. “What I want is you. And it will always be you.”