Chapter Seven
Grace
Cyrus’s giant hands sit on either side of my face as his tongue tangles with mine.
I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this feeling before. It’s a mix of warmth and comfort that I’ve read about in books, but didn’t believe it existed. I’m sure it’s because this whole thing is new and a little forbidden. That’s how hormones work, right? In reality, under the pressure of everyday life, we’d be a train wreck. He’d remember he prefers women who have their lives together, and I’d remember how much I love my newfound independence.
My phone rings in my pocket. “Oh, I bet that’s the guy at the city. He said he’d call me with an update before the day was over.”
“Go ahead.” Cyrus kisses my forehead and holds me close as I answer the call.
I’m almost shocked by his supportive response. If I were to have been interrupted while with Jason, I’d never have heard the end of it.
Stomach knotted, I answer the phone. “Hello.”
“Grace,” the gruff man on the other side of the line sighs as though the call itself is annoying, “it’s Brooks from the town planning department. How are you tonight?”
“Good. I, ugh, how are you?”
“Fine.” He pauses and there’s silence that goes on for far too long. “I’m calling about the playground you proposed. Do you have time to talk?”
I glance toward Cyrus who offers me a smile in support. Man, it’s going to be hard telling him to leave.
“I do. What are you thinking?”
“To be honest,” he says flatly, “I’m having trouble wrapping my head around the logistics of a playground. I know you said it could bring families together, and I liked the part where you mentioned how it could support community spirit,” he drags in a deep breath and I’m sure the end of my dream is coming, “but we live in the forest. These kids should be outside climbing trees and exploring. We don’t need to make the town all gaudy with some bright pink swing set.”
“With all due respect, kids will still be climbing trees and playing outside. This is meant to be a—”
“Please stop talking. I’m going to approve your project, Grace.”
A buzz of excitement tips me up onto my toes as a grin spreads onto my face. “Really? I thought by the way you were talk—”
“There are a few caveats. One, I’d like to put Mrs. Robinson on the project with you. She’s our oldest resident and I think she has a good touch point for what would work in town. Second, this project is contingent on you coming to work for the town clerk’s office. It’s probably not your dream job, but it’s Monday through Friday, you’ll be off work by three o’clock, and the pay is fair. Your friend Zoe gave me a call and said you might be interested.”
“Yeah!” I’m overly excited and it shows. “I mean, yes, that sounds great. Umm…what about the baby, though? I’m about to give birth any second.”
“We’ll get you started beforehand and go from there. To qualify for maternity leave, you’d just need to sign something saying you plan to come back to work for at least a year once the leave is over. In the meantime, work with Mrs. Robinson to put a team together to get it done and don’t ask me any more questions. We’re hiring you because I’ve got enough shit on my plate.”
“Yes, of course.” I want to ask him how to get a hold of Mrs. Robinson, but he’s just said no more questions and I don’t want to press my luck. “Thank you.”
“Have a good night.” The line disconnects and I stare toward the man at the table who I should most definitely ask to leave.
“That was the town planning guy.”
Cyrus nods. “How’d it go?”
“He just approved the playground and offered me a job at the city. Apparently, Zoe pulled some strings. I owe her a huge hug. She told me they were hiring, but I ignored her. I didn’t think they’d be interested because of,” I rub my hand over my stomach, “this.”
Cyrus pulls me onto his lap. “Brooks and I have been buddies for most of our lives. He’ll be a good guy to work for. I think you’ll be happy there… once you get used to him.”
I can’t stop smiling. Maybe that’s what scares me. Nothing ever goes this well for me. I work constantly, I barely make ends meet, and I’ve spent way too long with a man who treated me like shit.
The feelings I’m having now aren’t real. They can’t be.
“You should leave.” I blow out a breath and ignore the dizzy ache that washes over me as I say the words, “I’m sorry.”
His brows narrow and he stands from the chair, towering over me. “What happened? Did I do something wrong?”
“No. You’re helpful, you’re protective, you’re kind, you’re really hot,” I blow out a breath, “but you’re also like twenty years older than me and you’re a man. So, eventually, you’ll turn into whatever the real version of you is, and I’ll feel like an idiot for falling for all this.”
“Falling for what?” he says. “What are you talking about?”
“You feel like this right now, but eventually the desire and excitement will fade, and we’ll be an old married couple. I’ll be picking up your dirty underwear and you’ll be asking me what’s for dinner every day for the rest of our lives. You’ll stop pulling me onto your lap, you’ll stop complimenting me, and you’ll still expect sex or you’ll cheat, because that’s what men do.”
He grins as though my statement is ridiculous. “Grace, I don’t know what happened last night at the bar. I don’t usually feel like this, and I haven’t dated in years, but you—”
“Save it!” I roll my eyes to the side. “I have a baby on the way. I have to think of him first, and men… they’re predictable. You don’t want me. You want someone. ” I turn away from him, pain in my chest. “I’m not the one.”
His hands rub down the sides of my shoulders from behind. He’s towering over me. “Where is this coming from?”
“Life. The world. The very accurate history of men and women. I did the whole relationship thing with Jason, and look how that turned out. And my parents… they were in an arranged marriage where my mother was subservient to my father for her entire life. My grandmothers did the same. I don’t want that. In fact, I’m terrified of it.”
He swipes a strand of hair away from my face. “This isn’t arranged. This is us… feeling something, and I’m not a boy like Jason. I’m a grown man, Grace. You don’t have to know all the answers tonight, but I need you to know that I’m not going away.”
I drag in a deep breath, aching to fall into the warmth of his arms. It would be so easy to fall forward, so easy to give in. Hell, I want to give in. My entire body is screaming for me to give in.
He leans forward and kisses the top of my head, gently holding me against his cedar scented chest.
Maybe he could love me right. Maybe he’d be the first man ever to show me what true love really felt like. Maybe he’d never say a bad thing to me, but what if I’m wrong?
I rub my hand over my stomach. I don’t have the luxury of trial and error anymore. I’ve got to think about the baby. I’ve gotta ignore the throbbing deep in my core, the ache in my panties, the discomfort in my heart.
“You should go,” I say, letting go of his grip. “I’m sorry about tonight. It’s all my fault. I let my hormones get in the way.”
Swallowing hard, he looks down at the ground and up again, brushing his hand down over his beard. “I don’t know if I can walk away.”
My eyes gather up toward his, and my heart drops into my stomach. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re everything. You’re soft and sweet. Mouthy and independent. I don’t want to take that away from you, Grace. I want to add to your life, not take over it.”
“How are you alone?” I blurt out the words before thinking them through.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re like… perfect. You’re big and strong, but you’re not overbearing. You’re attractive, but you don’t seem to know it. And you’re okay with me being independent, so long as you can help. I mean… who are you?”
He grins and stares down at the hickory floor then up again. “I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t hesitate. When I see something I like, I go after it and I give it everything I have. I did it with my business and I do it with my friends. You’re special, Grace. And whether you love me now, or ten years from now, you’re what I want, and I’ll make you mine.”
Oh my God. Why does he have to say all the right things? Why does my body have to respond like this? Why do I have to be so damn weak?
Warmth spreads over my chest and radiates down my spine until my feet are tingling and my heels lift up from the ground. His eyes search mine, and gravity pulls us closer as the air between us speaks a million unspoken emotions.
Time stops and the world narrows into hyperfocus. This moment is all there is. He and I. Our lips. Our warm breath. Our hands. Our bodies.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he whispers in my ear, “I promise.”
My skin tingles and I breathe in as his lips meet mine, soft and tentative. Maybe it’s the hormones. Maybe I’ve lost my mind. Maybe it’s both, but in this moment, I believe him and just let go.