Chapter 15
15
Christa
C onstant tension exists between the Hawthorne men and me.
Not being able to speak to Teagan about it does not make anything easier, but I have to respect her decision. I have to trust Tony and her brothers when they tell me she’ll come around. I just miss her.
And the way I tried to leave…
I’m carrying around a sense of guilt I can’t quite shake. Cassius, River, and Nathan have been patient, caring, and kind, while I’ve been holding on to my secrets.
“The crypto app is coming along nicely,” I say, trying to keep my mind on work while I present a preliminary version of the phone application on a large screen in the demo room.
The Hawthorne brothers sit behind the conference table, curiously watching me as I plug everything in and double-check the interactive slides before I activate their touch screens.
“We can play around with it?” River asks, eyes twinkling with childlike excitement.
“You can but give me a few minutes to introduce and explain the features. You’ll each have your own portion of the large screen for the testing part; I promise.”
“By all means. I won’t stand in your way.”
“How close are we to completion?” Cassius asks.
“Anywhere between four to six months, I’d say,” I reply. “It depends on how quickly we go can test the beta systems and how many snags we find and have to fix after it.”
“Colin is handling the beta testers’ recruitment, right?” River asks.
“Yes. He’s got a lot of knowledge about the Portland-based crypto community.”
“Either way, four to six months sounds better than we originally expected, doesn’t it?” Nathan asks his brothers. He’s given a round of subtle nods in response.
I go through the product presentation, one slide at a time, taking long sips of ice-cold water every chance I get. My stomach continues to revolt at the thought of food. I really need to get my stress under control.
“Here comes the fun part,” I say, once I’m done with the key features and the issues Colin and I fixed since I took over the department. “Unless you have any questions.”
“So far, so good,” Cassius replies. “Do you anticipate any issues before the beta version is ready for trial?”
“Nothing our techs can’t iron out. Just minor functionality and accessibility cracks that have already been flagged. It’s mostly from the code,” I say. “I asked Colin to look into a couple of online seminars for that particular software, just in case.”
“But you have it under control,” River says.
I give him a confident smile. “Always.”
“Then let’s move on to the app testing. What version is this?”
“I guess you could say it’s the alpha,” I explain. “Although to be honest, it has most of the functionalities we already wanted for the beta, so…”
“An alpha-beta?” River quips.
“A beta-ish alpha,” Cassius chimes in.
I laugh wholeheartedly, and for the first time in quite a while, I can feel the air clearing. My breath and my mind are lighter, too.
“Alright, I’m activating your touch screens now,” I say. “Have at it. You’ll notice the interface is similar to other crypto apps, but it has its own design.”
“I love it,” Cassius mutters, fingers already tapping away. “It runs smoothly.”
“It has a quick response time, but we’re still calibrating the engine. I think we can do better,” I reply, beaming with pride as I watch them interact with the app on the triple-split wide screen.
I can feel Nathan’s eyes on me. He has this way of making his attention known without saying a word. Slowly, I turn my head.
“What?” I ask, shy and self-conscious all of a sudden.
“Back when you and Tee were maybe six or seven, still playing with dolls in the upstairs tearoom,” he says, “did you ever see yourself doing something like this?”
“Like coding and complex mathematics for major financial technology systems? No, I had no clue whatsoever,” I reply. “I knew I wanted to do something my mom and dad would be proud of.”
“Christa, you could be a trash collector and your parents would still be proud of you,” he says. “No matter what path you chose in this life, it’s yours, and you are owning it with a strength and resilience I rarely see.”
“Thank you,” I mumble, genuinely overwhelmed by the weight of his expression.
“I know it’s not easy being a woman in this industry,” River agrees with a slight nod. “We certainly hit the jackpot when we decided to hire you.”
Cassius scoffs, slightly amused. “They’re trying to make sure you feel comfortable and happy here, so you won’t try to run off again.”
“Dude,” River groans.
“It’s the truth,” Cassius replies with a shrug.
“Fair enough,” I softly concede. “Someday I hope we’ll be able to look back and laugh at this whole thing. For what it’s worth, I never intended to hurt anyone.”
Cassius and I lock eyes for what feels like a strangely long minute. He gives me a relaxed wink and nods at the screen, deciding to revert to the original topic, sparing me the ensuing discomfort of digging deeper. “You’ve done a wonderful job with this,” he says. “I’m impressed and eager to see what the real beta can do.”
“Oh, you’ll love it,” I say, lighting up like the sun. “I’ve been working on several features. Colin just makes sure he can integrate them into the interface, but I write the codes accordingly.”
“You are losing us in programming lingo,” River jokingly warns.
“I doubt it,” I shoot back with a wink. “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“The currency options?”
“And the speed dumps. That particular function will be our greatest challenge,” I say, pleased with how this presentation turned out.
It makes the rest of the development process feel like a walk in the park. Anything work-related is easier to deal with than the personal aspects of my life, and I think the Hawthornes can sense that, too. They can tell I’m more comfortable droning on about the crypto app than I am about what made me want to run away.
Little do they know I’ve been spending every moment since I got that letter persistently looking over my shoulder wherever I go. Without Teagan to call during my lunch breaks and with no mood to hang out with the rest of the programmer squad every day, I resort to a solo spot at the table closest to the parking lot window. It’s nice and quiet, giving me enough privacy while I eat my tuna sandwich, praying I don’t immediately throw it up.
The past three days have been rather confusing. I could eat the entire panini bar, yet as soon as I’m halfway done, my stomach rebels.
“Can I join you?” A familiar voice makes me look up.
Alexandra Jones, of all people. Ever perfect in her peach-colored pantsuit and glittery lips, while I’m struggling with a pair of jeans that don’t really fit as well as they used to underneath a large, navy-blue shirt.
“Hey,” I mumble with a mouthful. “Sure. Have a seat.”
“You look a little pale,” she says as she sits down with her own lunch tray.
“I’m just tired and hungry,” I reply and swallow, then wash it down with more cold water. To my dismay, coffee is no longer an option. The mere scent makes me want to hurl. “Everything okay on your end?”
“Oh, I’m great. The green energy project is going ahead,” she says, using a fork to stab her fresh fruit salad. “River and I are actually in the middle of a pretty heavy negotiation.”
“Oh yeah?”
Alexandra giggles softly. “That man could charm the pants off anybody.”
I nod slowly. “Yes, he could.”
“I finally got a good offer on newer windmills,” she says. “But the price is a tad steeper than what I anticipated in terms of handling and transport. We’re talking about a large number of parts for an even larger number of windmills to be transported across two states.”
“That sounds like quite the mission,” I say. “But I know you can hack it, Alexandra. The Hawthornes wouldn’t have partnered with you if they didn’t think so, too.”
“Aw, thank you. I guess I needed to hear that. You’re right. I’ll probably get a fair deal, eventually. The seller keeps complaining about the price of gasoline.”
“What if Hawthorne Corps offers to pay a third of the gasoline?” I suggest.
Her eyes twinkle excitedly. “I think you’re on to something.”
“I overheard Nathan talking about transport expenses just the other day, about securing funds for large transports through a federal grant for the steel mills. Maybe they could use some of that to move the windmills to Portland. I don’t think the grant’s destination is specific as to what they’re transporting, as long as it helps the business run or grow.” I lift a finger. “I think.”
Alexandra nods a few times. “No, I agree. And I think I know what federal grant he was talking about. River and I had a chat on the same topic over coffee this morning.”
“You did?”
Why do I still feel jealous? Do I sound jealous? Can she tell? She is hard to read, and I don’t like it.
“Yeah, and while we were talking, he mentioned how productive your department is,” Alexandra replies.
“Really?”
Why do I sound surprised?
Jesus, Christa, get a grip.
“Of course. You’re a rising star in their company, by the looks of it. Personally, I’m always happy to see a woman rising in a mostly male-dominated field. I’m even happier to hear that you and Colin are getting along well.” She giggles, reminding me of my first staff meeting.
“Right. Yes. Colin came across differently in the beginning, I agree.” I chuckle lightly. “But he’s good people. A bit too stubborn at times, but that just helps me better chisel my own counterarguments when we’re working on something we both want to succeed. It works, oddly enough.”
“Good. You deserve a fine team behind you, given the projects you’re developing.”
“My old company was different,” I say, comfortable enough to reminisce about the so-called olden days of Los Angeles. “There was room for growth, of course, but never at this level, where I could lead an entire product department.”
“Is that why you left?”
“There was a personality and ethical clash in the middle. The Perry side was horrendous. The Sage guys were slightly more—oh, shit,” I gasp, realizing I let something slip. It’s not even the first time. Part of me thinks it’s because I do want to talk about it to anyone who will listen, but the repercussions are simply too frightening.
“Oh, shit, what?” Alexandra asks, her eyes wide.
“I shouldn’t have--”
A smile slits her pretty face from ear to ear. “Shouldn’t have what? Said the name of the company I’m not supposed to know you worked for? Relax, Christa. You’re cool here.”
“Am I?”
“It’s a delicate situation, considering how it ended for them. I get it. We’ve all done work for people we’re not in an immediate rush to plaster all over our resumes.”
I give her a curious look. “I thought you inherited the funds you used to start your company.”
“I did. Verdant Ventures wasn’t built from the ground up; I own that. But it doesn’t mean I haven’t dealt with unpleasant people and situations prior to setting my sights on the Hawthorne brothers, on their business, I mean, their business potential,” she adds with an embarrassed laugh.
Alexandra doesn’t know about my relationship with Cassius, River, and Nathan. She’s free to like any of them, to make passes at any of them, for that matter. It’s not my place to tell her to keep her eyes and paws off them. It’s theirs.
“You’re doing an amazing thing, Alexandra,” I say. “Most people wouldn’t think about helping the planet heal when they come into a heap of money. It’s honorable.”
“You’re too kind,” she replies, giving me a warm smile. “And I just want you to know, if there’s anything you need, ever, at all, I’m here. We women should stick together. Grow together.”
“You’re right.” I smile.
“Say, how about we get some drinks after work? Or sometime over the weekend?” Alexandra takes a business card out of her purse and gives it to me. “I’d love to pick your brain about this city and the company itself. You’re a Portland native, and I’m seriously considering the possibility of putting some roots down here.”
“You are?”
“I like it!” She laughs and shrugs. “It’s got a romantic side most people outside of Portland don’t quite get, but I do. This is an old city; it’s charming and full of opportunities. Everyone is always raving about the East Coast or the West Coast, about the big cities… but they forget about how bountiful places like Portland can be. I think I could be of value here.”
“Drinks sound good. Probably over the weekend. I’ll check my schedule and promise I’ll let you know,” I reply and put the card in my wallet. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you , Christa.”
Alexandra Jones seems genuine in her connection.
Maybe she is.
I won’t find out unless I give her a chance.