10. Will
10
WILL
T he limo carried me across town from my hotel to the office. I'd been in Chicago all week for business, meeting with a very important client to discuss his financial strategies. It'd been a very long week full of meetings and dinners and I missed the routine I held at home. I also missed Abby, which was challenging for me.
When Kate was here, taking a business meeting wasn't so emotionally daunting. I knew even if I couldn't be around, Abby at least had her mother. But since Kate died, things had changed so much. In the beginning, I cut these meetings back significantly, but with Abby maturing and getting older now, I had resumed taking trips for my most important clients. But that didn't mean I didn't wish it was different.
"I'm just saying Mrs. Clark is annoying." Abby hated that I left her at home with someone to watch over her. It wasn't that I didn't trust her. I fully trusted my daughter. What I didn't trust were other people in this city. If they knew I was away from my condo, who knows what they'd do.
And Mrs. Clark wasn't just a nanny. She was a trained law enforcement officer who just happened to live downstairs in one of the apartments. We met on the elevator ride one day when I was returning from work, and she mentioned a break-in earlier that week. Since that day I had hired her to watch over Abby every time I had to take a trip. Abby wasn't a child by any means, but a little added security put my mind at ease.
"I know, honey, but she's just doing her job. I'd hate to think what would happen if someone broke into the penthouse while I was gone and you were alone." She hated that I was gone and I hated leaving her. "Please just be patient with her. I'll be home tomorrow."
"Okay, but I just don't like you taking trips. Why can't you do things by Skype like normal people?" Abby sounded frustrated with me and I started to think of how I could make it up to her when I got home.
"It's just easier with a whole team of people to coordinate one trip for a week where we sit and handle every aspect of the client's portfolio, Abby. I know you don't understand it, but I'd like you to think about using this as a means to help you adjust to being away from me. Next year you'll be off at college and you won't have me around all the time." I could just picture her brooding, a scowl on her forehead and pursed lips.
Seeing my little girl struggle with growing up brought me down a little. She didn't have a mother to help her learn the most important things—things I wasn't good at, like emotional regulation and self-comfort during disappointment. I didn't like that Abby was on her own with that, and often I'd considered seeing counselors to help me be a better father. What she really needed, though, was a mother figure. Someone to help her through moments like this.
"A team?" she asked. "You didn't bring that woman with you, did you? The one you're always bragging about."
My mind went to Elizabeth and a smile crept over my lips. We had the most amazing night, just over a week ago, and since then we'd had many flirty exchanges—all in privacy to avoid being caught. Though we hadn't really had a very serious discussion about it, I thought there was a real chance this could go somewhere. I felt like my heart was coming alive again for the first time in a long time.
She wasn't on this trip though. This project had been started and managed by Kevin and Jill, and each of them had brought one of their junior analysts along for support. Beth didn't fit this picture or the team, but I wished she did. I'd have loved to have this time to get to know her more personally.
"Abby, please take a deep breath. Beth isn't on this trip, and even if she was, it's a work trip. I'm not sure why you get so upset about her." The words rankled my mood. I knew why Abby was getting upset. She was feeling insecure about Beth because I made a big deal of her talent while not bragging about my own child, or maybe she feared me moving on.
"Oh save it, Dad. You just called her Beth. Not Elizabeth or Ms. whatever her name is." Abby sounded upset, but the disrespect was not okay.
"Abigail, you shouldn't speak to me like that, even if you're upset. I am alright with you having emotions as long as you express them respectfully." She caught my slip, calling Beth by her first name. I wondered if I had made that mistake with people at work too.
"I'm sorry, Dad." Abby sighed, and I heard the tone of her voice shift. "I'll see you when you get home."
"I love you," I told her, but she hung up before I even finished.
Sadness cloaked me for the rest of the ride. I met up with the team in the downstairs lobby before going up to meet with our client. We all piled into the elevator and started upward toward the meeting as they chatted happily. My mind drifted to back home and how well the firm was doing now. After that major acquisition, things were going so well I could afford to cut back on my personal client load and let someone else deal with these types of meetings. I had to give Beth the credit for that. It meant more time at home.
However, if I even hinted to Abby that I'd be able to do that and that Beth was the reason, I knew she'd have a negative reaction about it. I didn't understand what was going through her head when it came to my work or who I worked with. I would've liked to talk about it but it was such a volatile topic I avoided it just to keep the peace.
When we got to our floor we headed out toward the conference room. I had a hard enough time keeping Beth out of my head during work hours. That discussion with Abby just made it worse. I wanted to call Beth and hear her voice. The messages via texting all week just hadn't satisfied my desire to hear from her. The connection I felt with her was so strong and had been growing even as we were apart.
As the team settled in, my client, Mr. Ferguson, stood at the head of the table and waited. He smiled at me as I took my seat, and I tried to push thoughts of Beth away. It wasn't time to be distracted. I had to focus.
"Well, William, I'm very pleased with how things have gone this week. I was expecting a little different setup, but your team has really pulled their weight." Mr. Ferguson took his seat and unbuttoned his suit jacket, smoothing his tie down his chest.
As the leader of this project, it was my job to ensure our client was fully satisfied, and while it sounded like he was pleased, I felt like there was room left for doubt. I didn't want to leave this city until he was fully content with our best practices, and that meant exploring any hesitation on his part.
"Really?" I asked, sitting straighter. "What did you expect? Perhaps we can still meet that expectation. We do have a day left to tweak any part of our plan moving forward." I leaned over the table, resting my elbows on the edge and folding my hands.
Mr. Ferguson nodded his head and looked around at the expectant expressions on my team's faces. Every one of them probably had the same thought I was having—that we should make sure he's fully pleased with our work.
"Well, I was shocked that someone of my stature didn't get the red carpet." His comment surprised me. I opened my mouth to speak but he continued, "I've heard a lot about this rock star of an analyst you've got working for you now, but all I see are the familiar faces. For the amount of money I'm trusting you with, you'd think she'd be here." Mr. Ferguson's eyebrows rose, and I watched a few of my team's faces screw up into scowls.
Those scowls lasted only a microsecond before they returned to calm, professional expression, but I had noticed them. Those expectant and joyful faces were no longer either of those things, and though it frustrated me I couldn't call them out right now. My job was to make Ferguson happy and that was what I aimed for.
"Ms. Reid really is a rock star, Fred, but I assure you this team has done top-notch work. If you'd like me to, I can have her audit this entire plan and offer her opinions. If you really want, I can add her to the team for next year's assessment."
This wasn't personal. Beth really was extraordinary and amazing. When clients heard about her stellar work—usually because I bragged to someone who spread the news like wildfire—they asked for her. This was just business. And offering Mr. Ferguson this option to add Beth to his team was good for his account. Though, by the look on Kevin's face, he didn't agree.
"That sounds like a really good plan. I think we'll do a full audit, and you just let me know what that costs if it's extra. If she's as good as I've heard, I want her on my account." The content smile returned to his face as he changed the subject and we dived back into our final discussions.
The rest of the day was nothing but straight business, though whenever the topic of "Ms. Reid's audit" came up, my team got snippy or short. They clearly didn't approve of how much I talked her up, but I wasn't letting that get to me. They all had the same opportunity to work their butts off and achieve what she was achieving, but they didn't want to put in the same effort or hours.
Finally, when the meeting was over, and it was time to return to our hotels to catch a flight home, I rode the elevator down. The team was much quieter this afternoon than they'd been all week, and I knew it had to do with Beth and the client's insistence on her help. Kevin probably felt threatened. The juniors probably felt frustrated by it because both of them had applied for the position and hadn't gotten it. But I wasn't sure why Jill seemed tense; maybe she was feeding off of the others' opinions. I held my tongue though, even when they complained about having their work audited.
I climbed into my limo and laid my head on the headrest while the driver took me back to the hotel. I couldn't wait to get back to New York and relax a little. But I had Beth on my mind, and seeing her was on the very top of my list. So I pulled out my phone and called her. I had to see her as soon as I got back, not only to divulge the updates about this trip and her added workload, but because I craved the sound of her voice.
"Hey Will," she said softly when she answered.
"Beth," I breathed, letting the smile form on my lips.
"Uh, what's up?" She probably wondered why I had called instead of texting her when that had been our primary mode of communication this week. I knew she was from a different generation and that was why I resorted to texting—it was how people her age talked. But I craved more with her in every way. More at work, more personally, more sexually…
"I just wanted to hear your voice…" I sighed. "Hey, I'm coming back to town tonight. Would you like to have dinner with me?" After a few awkward days of working together and flirty banter, then not really discussing what happened in my office, and then a week away, I knew there was still a lot up in the air. I'd let my imagination of me and Beth pursuing something more get into my head.
"Uh, Will…" She sounded cautious and hesitant. "I just think we should talk about things. I mean…" My gut told me something had happened to make her feel this hesitation, but I didn't want her to think I was being overly dramatic by asking.
"Alright, how about you join me for dinner and we'll talk. I know it's been coming. And I'm sure you have doubts. I know I do—not about you, just…other things." Things like my daughter's reaction and the board's control over my life and career.
"Alright…" Beth sighed and I heard her take a deep breath. "I'd love to have dinner with you. What should I wear?"
My day was complete. Knowing I'd be jetting back to New York to have dinner with the woman who had captivated my mind and soul put the entire day's events out of my mind. I told her to dress casually, and I hoped we could just grab a burger and talk. Maybe it would help put her mind at ease that I could and would protect her from as much as I could. Whether her coworkers made a fuss about this was left to be seen, but any relationship faced challenges. We just had to decide which ones were worth addressing.