Chapter 23 Bree
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The pub had never looked so good. After Dan fixed the pipe and the team pumped out the water, Ronan worked like the devil to gut the storage room and rebuild it with materials that would survive another flood if it ever happened again.
Fresh paint gleamed on the walls, and new shelving lined the space in neat rows. Even the floor looked better than ever.
Everything had come together and the renovations were still on schedule. The pub’s revenue had increased and the regulars seemed happy with the changes. We even had new customers trickling in from neighboring towns.
And the guys. Good god, the guys were incredible. Being with them was amazing. Every single time. They never stopped making me feel special, and the connection we’d built over the last few months ran deeper than anything I’d ever experienced.
Finn made me laugh until my sides ached.
His easy affection and constant warmth chased away the shadows that crept in when I thought about Mom and Nana.
Ronan’s quiet strength grounded me and the fact he built beautiful buildings out of nothing reminded me that broken things could be fixed.
And Declan’s presence behind the bar, the way he anticipated what I needed before I asked, made me feel seen.
I’d never had one of those things in any relationship, much less all three.
It should’ve made me happy. I should’ve been content with the four of us falling into place, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of the walls closing in.
The whispers didn’t help. They’d started a long time ago but grown in intensity this last week. I’d been so caught up in everything at the pub that I’d been able to ignore them.
But last week, I’d caught Mrs. Miller and her daughter with their heads together near the bathroom, their voices low but eyes cutting to me every time I walked past. They stopped talking the second I looked their way, both suddenly interested in the menus they’d seen a hundred times.
Two days later, I’d overheard Tom Finnegan’s wife asking Tammy if it was true that I was “playing the field.” Tammy had pursed her lips and answered, but I hadn’t been able to hear her response. The look in her eyes said she might not defend me, despite being one of Nana’s best friends.
Yesterday was the final straw when a group of women I’d gone to school with came in for lunch. One of them, Sarah, asked if I was dating anyone. Her smile had been too sharp and knowing, and when I said no, she’d exchanged a look with her friends that made my skin crawl.
They didn’t believe me. Worse, they thought they’d figured out that I was moving from one man to the next, sampling Clover Hill’s most eligible bachelors like a bar lined with fine shots.
The irony would’ve been funny if it didn’t make me want to throw up.
Declan had told me about his mistake with the plumber. He’d apologized so much it made my heart ache and I’d had to physically stop him from talking. It wasn’t his fault. We’d both let our guard down and that had made us careless.
The damage had been done. Dan was our regular plumber. He came in the pub twice a week. He might not be high up on the gossip chain, but the whispers had intensified after he fixed the pipe, and the looks everyone sent my way grew bolder.
I’d tried to keep my head high and ignore how the conversations stopped when I entered a room. I’d been through it all before, and pretending I didn’t notice the way people watched me gave me back a semblance of power.
They would find something else to gossip about, and I’d be forgotten. But I was running out of energy to pretend.
Which was the reason I sat next to the open window at the fire escape at dawn with Declan, Ronan, and Finn around me. “We need to be more careful.”
Declan drank his coffee, eyebrows pulled low. “How?”
“We’re already doing it.” Finn ran a hand through his hair. “People need to stay the fuck out of our business.”
“They won’t.” A steady ache throbbed behind my eyes. It was too early for this, but we didn’t have any other choice. “Every time one of you touches me, or even looks at me, they start all over again.”
“You’re asking us to not touch you.” Ronan ground out the words between gritted teeth. His hands rested on his thighs, the fingers curled tight into his palms.
I rubbed my forehead. “Yes. No more stealing time together during the day. Especially if anyone is in the pub, or the door is unlocked. It’s too risky. We get too carried away.” I was trying to protect them too. Didn’t they see that?
My heart cracked, sending pain shooting through my chest and intensifying the headache I’d spent the last hour nursing.
“I’m sorry.” My voice almost broke but I managed to keep it under control.
“Don’t.” Finn took my hands in his. “Don’t apologize for the actions of others.”
No more lingering looks. No more touches that lasted a second too long.
Finn pulled me into his arms and kissed my temple. “We’ll be more careful.”
Ronan ran a hand down the back of my head. “We’ll figure this out, Bree. You’re not alone anymore.”
His promise almost broke me.
Declan scooped me from Finn’s arms and kissed my forehead. “It will all blow over.”
I wanted to believe them. If I could trust anyone to keep our secret through Nana’s three month deadline so I could make a decision without the weight of the pub over my head, it was these three.
“Thank you.” I wiped my eyes and took a step back. “I’m going to take the money for the weekly deposit over to the bank. I’ll be back by the time we open.”
Unlike most towns, the bank in Clover Hill opened early.
They understood that some smaller businesses, like ours, needed an extra hour early or late to do business, and they gave us a chance.
I’d never thought about the value in that while living in Boston.
I saw the convenience of everything else, but not businesses looking out for each other.
The morning air bit my cheeks when I stepped outside. March in New England changed its mind like a child in a toy store. From snowed in to birds singing to whatever the hell today was with its crisp air and hopeful scent of fresh flowers.
I dragged in several breaths to clear my head and rounded the corner toward the small parking lot behind the pub where I kept Mom’s old Honda.
An unfamiliar sight froze me in my tracks. My purse slipped from my shoulder, dropping to the pavement with a dull thud.
Lucky Charms covered the car’s hood by the thousands. They’d spilled across the faded blue paint in a sticky, colorful mess.
The sun must have hit them already, because the marshmallows streaked in a long, gooey mess.
Mom’s car. The car she’d driven me to school in, the one I’d inherited after she died and couldn’t bear to sell even though it was old and unreliable. Because it smelled like her.
Someone had defaced it with fucking Lucky Charms.
My throat closed, my vision blurring.
I walked forward on shaky legs, pinched one of the marshmallows between my nails, and pulled. Paint came up with it.
A chunk of blue paint the size of my palm peeled off of the hood, revealing the primer underneath.
The sound of my own sobs ricocheted off the rear of the pub and came back to me. I pulled off another marshmallow, taking off more paint. Stop, Bree. Stop. I was making it worse. I always made it worse.
Long, gasping sobs shook my entire body. I pressed my hand over my mouth to muffle them, but they refused to stop or to slow. Tears streaked down my face, oblitering my vision.
“Bree?” Declan’s voice reached me an instant before his arms wrapped around me. Safe. He made me feel safe. “Jesus. Who the fuck would do this?”
I turned in his arms and buried my face in his chest. My sobs turned into wails that poured from the deepest parts of my hurt.
It no longer mattered if the whole town saw me in Declan’s arms. He was the only thing keeping me sane.
All the stress of the past few months, the whispers and judgment, combined with my grief and came out in one ugly rush.
Declan tightened his hold, one hand cradling the back of my neck while the other pressed against my spine. He anchored me, his voice a lullaby that let me grieve. “I’ve got you.” His chest vibrated through my ear. “I’ve got you, honey.”
My chest caved in with every sob. “Mom’s car.”
“I know.” He kissed the top of my head. “I know.”
He understood. Of course he did. He’d known Mom, and he’d seen me drive her car since coming back. He’d probably seen me lingering inside, my face in the seat as I breathed in the faint fragrance of her perfume.
“I tried to clean it, but the paint–” I broke off with another sob.
“We’ll fix it. Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it.” He stroked my hair. “You don’t have to do this alone.”
There was no way to repair it without painting the entire hood, and that cost money I didn’t have. All the extra money Nana left me went into the renovations.
Even if I could afford it, it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be the original paint I’d helped her wash as a kid.
“Who would do this?” My voice cracked, but my sobs relented enough to let me breathe.
Declan’s jaw clenched on top of my head. “I don’t know.”
I did. The thought hammered home so fast I lost my breath again.
Bethany. She’d given me a box of Lucky Charms and had been passive-aggressive every time she stood close enough for me to hear her speak.
It had to be her. It was petty and cruel and exactly the kind of thing a woman like her would do.
“Bethany gave me a box of Lucky Charms right after I came back.” Accusing her without proof wouldn’t help me. In fact, it would make everything worse, so I stopped talking. Whispers built against me would favor the hometown girl. Even if she lied through her teeth, they’d take her side.
Fuck I hated feeling helpless. I despised that she could do this to me and get away with it. Calling her out made me the bad guy, which meant I had to suck it up and act like this never happened.
Unless I reported it to the police. I could do that, but what if the same man who caught me and Finn together came to take the report?
Cold sweat slithered down my spine. I couldn’t risk it. Like I’d done with everything else life had thrown at me, I lifted my chin and met the universe with a smile. “I guess I’m walking to the bank.” I stepped out of Declan’s arms. “Thank you.” My chin trembled, and he reached for me.
“I’m here anytime you need me.”
I nodded. It was all I could manage without falling apart again as I picked up my purse and walked away from yet another problem.