Chapter 36 Finn
FINN
I’d gotten a text from Declan half an hour ago stating that Bree would be at the pub soon. He said nothing more than that. Didn’t need to. I was supposed to be at the fire house at noon, but nothing short of death would keep me from being there when Bree arrived.
I’d been awake since four. Not because of the fire–I’d worked enough of them to sleep through the adrenaline crash–but because Declan had told us yesterday that Bree would be here.
I’d driven out to the caves and watched the sun come up, then hoofed it to the pub to wait.
She was coming back. Even if it was just for the kitchen, she was coming back.
From the outside, I couldn’t even tell that the place had been on fire yesterday. Unless I walked around back where the walls covered in soot gave it away. The regulars had been understanding–maybe even a little relieved–when Declan told them last night that the pub needed to close for a while.
Ronan had declared the whole place unfit for business. My chief and the insurance adjuster agreed. The kitchen was a hazard, even though the taps and storage room were far enough away the beer and other drinks hadn’t been compromised.
A familiar engine rumbled closer. I squeezed my eyes shut and did my best to control myself. If I didn’t, I’d rush out into the middle of the road and fling myself at Bree.
She drove Shayla’s car right up to the front of the pub and killed the engine. Her fingers flexed on the steering wheel, and maybe it was my imagination, but her shoulders lifted like she needed a deep breath as much as I did.
Everything moved in slow motion. Bree opened the door, pushed a pair of green sunglasses onto the top of her head, and climbed out. Her hair had grown out a good bit, and she’d changed the style to compensate. Gods what I wouldn’t give for the right to rush over and fold her into my arms.
Tugging at the hem of her shirt, she gave a tiny wave. “Hi.”
“Hi.” We chorused together, all of us as whispery as teenage boys on a first date.
I cleared my throat. “It’s good to see you.” I meant it.
A slow, timid smile appeared. “You too. All of you.” She smoothed her hands over her hips, hips that were a little fuller than before.
The thought forced my gaze to caress her entire body.
Her breasts were heavier too. Fuller. I filed that observation away with the uncomfortable awareness that it was probably not the appropriate thing to be noticing, given that we stood on a public sidewalk, she’d been gone, and there were more pressing matters to discuss.
I noticed anyway. My brain had never been cooperative about appropriate timing with Bree.
Her smile widened a tiny bit. “You look incredible. Happy.”
Her head tipped to one side. “Thanks.” She left it there. Was she happy or had she learned how to hide it better than the three of us?
Ronan pushed his spine into the pub’s brick wall like he could sink into it.
Declan folded his arms, and the constant flexing in his hands showed he struggled as much as I did with the distance between us and Bree.
Bree swallowed a few times, smoothing her shirt again, then moved to the back door. “I didn’t expect all of you to be here.”
I was pretty sure she also said, “Maybe it’s better this way” but I couldn’t be sure thanks to the creak of the rear door opening and Bree ducking inside.
Had she brought her suitcases? I took a step forward, ready to help her, when she straightened…with a carseat over her arm.
Every ounce of air rushed out of my lungs. Okay. This was a surprise, but whatever. Maybe she was babysitting for a friend. Stranger things had happened.
Ronan went impossibly still, which was a pretty miraculous achievement since he barely moved anyway.
Bree hesitated, a crinkle appearing between her eyebrows. She swung the carseat gently, a soft gurgling sound coming from it. “You all look exactly the same.” The nervousness remained in her face, but she squared her shoulders and walked toward us.
Ronan almost choked.
Declan’s jaw rocked side to side. “Sorry for having to call you.”
“It’s fine.” She waved one hand, but dropped it to the carseat halfway through.
We’d never been awkward with each other. I hated that it happened now.
“Bree, did you kidnap a baby on your way here?” I moved to the side, trying to look into the carseat.
A peal of laughter rang out. Bree shook her head. “No, Finn.”
The baby’s soft rumblings turned into a blatant cry.
Bree jiggled the carseat. “Sorry. She’s not used to long car rides, and it’s time for a diaper change.”
“Here.” Declan opened the door and held it, stepping back to let Bree go ahead of him.
The three of us filed in behind her. My head whirled with the sight of Bree with a baby. Whose baby?
Bree set the carseat in the middle of one of the tables and unclipped the harness.
Her voice lowered to an indistinguishable level.
The baby, a girl based on the pink clothes, wiggled and continued to cry.
Without a moment of hesitation, Bree changed the baby’s diaper, kissed her forehead, and lifted her into the crook of her arm.
The three of us stood off to the side, slack-jawed. Bree mothered the baby with such comfort and familiarity that reality settled even as Bree walked forward wearing that tense but unapologetic smile.
“Okay. If you didn’t kidnap a baby, then who is this?” I broke the quiet because it seemed like no one else could.
Bree’s head swung toward me, and I swore I saw relief in her eyes at my question. “This is Clara. My daughter.”
Pretty sure someone could have set off a bomb under our feet and we wouldn’t have been able to move. I, for one, swayed with the impact of her words. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah.” Bree’s tight smile stayed in place. She rocked side to side, baby Clara staring up at her, completely content.
“How old is she?” Ronan’s voice cracked at the end.
Bree met his eyes. “Three months.”
I was no mathematician, but even I knew that nine months of pregnancy, plus the three months we’d spent together, meant Clara might be ours. The knowledge settled deep, stealing every other thought. I might be a father. I might have been a father for a while and she’d kept that from me. From us.
“I didn’t think my heart could break anymore, but what the actual fuck, Bree?
” I palmed my mouth to keep from cursing any more.
“Sorry, Clara.” I whispered her name, my heart already taken with the tiny bundle.
“You’ve been keeping secrets from us. Little, big secrets.
” My hands itched to hold Clara. I’d always been enamored with kids.
They came into the fire house all the time, begging to climb on the firetruck and asking a million questions.
I’d always thought I would be a father someday, and Bree had kept this from me. I mean, we never talked about kids. She’d made it sound impossible since she was on birth control. Guess it had failed.
Declan took a single step forward. “Why would you keep this from us? One of us is the father, yes?”
I didn’t need her nod to confirm what we all knew. Bree shifted her weight toward the door, her feet pointing that way like she might bolt at any second. Too late. We knew the truth now. We had let her go because we thought it was what she wanted, what she needed.
Things were different now. She’d come back because of the fire. She hadn’t planned on coming back at all. Would she have ever told us if the fire hadn’t forced her to face us again?
I pressed that question down deep and buried it under a pile that I’d dig up later.