CHAPTER TEN – ELLIS
Lily’s here and we have a son.
Leo.
As vibrant as June sunlight, if the pictures on Lily’s wall are anything to go by.
I wish I’d taken more notice when he blew past me on the porch like a whirlwind, but I didn’t know. I was only inches away from my flesh and blood, and it didn’t even register.
Because I’d been too distracted by a goddamn phone call.
My cell has been blowing up ever since I stormed out of Otto’s trailer, my cheeks still burning from the bullshit he’d spat in my face.
I’d had a few choice things to say as well, especially because filming wrapped a week ago, and I was under no obligation to spend another second on the most isolated, intense, hyper-controlled movie set of my career.
Of course, Otto acted like I was a pampered brat having a tantrum when I said I was leaving, but he couldn’t stop me.
I’ve always insisted on exit clauses in my contract in case of family emergencies.
Plus, having a private jet at my disposal meant I was on my way home within a few hours of finding out that Lily was back in our lives.
My chest still aches from how damn good it was to see her again.
Roses and tomorrows.
It’s how Lily smelled in the haze of her heat, something sweet and precious in the moment, but also the promise of so much more.
I’ve spent a lot of time over the years wondering if that’s how the scent bond works, luring us in and driving us so crazy with want, we just have to claim her as our own.
But there’s been no tomorrows. Up until an hour ago, I thought she’d given us a glimpse of what our future might hold, and then snatched her scent away before it could even dry on our skin.
“Are you okay?” Tristan asks once we’re on a dusty road somewhere between the farm and our new house.
Every mile we travel feels like a mistake, my chest so tight it’s hard to take a full breath.
But Tristan’s lovely peppermint scent is soothing, and I look down to where he is snuggled against my side, his hazel eyes worried. “It was a lot to take in.”
“Especially since no one thought to warn me in advance.” The criticism is leveled more at Otley, who is sitting on Tristan’s other side.
His hand is on our beta’s knee, and I watch him give it a reassuring squeeze.
It’s enough to make me tip my head back with a sigh.
“I know you didn’t plan it like this. I should’ve made more effort to tell you I was coming, but things kind of snowballed. ”
Otley’s gaze locks with mine, and I can see the regret in his eyes.
My packmate is ruthless in two things: business; and protecting those he loves.
I can’t imagine how hard it was for him to discover the truth and not instantly share the burden of what my uncle did to us.
“I only knew about the postcard,” he says quietly, but his scent sharpens with his anger.
“When I found out she’d tried to reach us and that she had a son, I dropped everything to get us a base out here.
I didn’t even tell Tris, because I wanted to make sure it was real.
” He rubs his jaw. “And then I didn’t exactly make the best first impression. ”
Tristan huffs and rolls his eyes. “He made her deliver us flowers. Like a squillion roses, after a long day working hard on the farm. When she saw him on the doorstep, she looked like she wanted to hit him with her bucket.”
I snort. “Smooth. What exactly was that meant to achieve?”
“Yellow roses,” Otley replies, a hint of color staining his high cheekbones. “They’re the flower of forgiveness.”
Tris turns and cups Otley’s face. “Really? Wow, okay. But maybe next time deliver them to her, so she knows you’re the one in the wrong.”
Tris’ caress turns into a gentle slap, and Otley blinks in surprise.
It’s so not funny, I can’t help it. A laugh gurgles out of my chest, sounding more like a sob.
I’m overtired, overwhelmed, and overwrought, but underneath all that churning emotion is the simple fact: we have a son, and they were kept from me for nearly ten years.
“Fucking Crest,” I seethe, squeezing my hands into fists and dashing a tear off my cheek. “I knew he was a prick, but this is…”
“Un-fucking-forgiveable,” Tristan whispers, wiping the next tear from my cheek.
“She must think we used her for her heat and tossed her away,” I groan, pressing my palms into my eyes. “Jesus, no wonder she smelled so hurt. She must hate me.”
Because instead of roses and tomorrows, her perfume now reminds me of bruised petals and exhaustion.
“I don’t think it’s hate,” Otley says carefully, giving me another regret-filled glance. “I think she’s afraid we’ll take Leo away from her.”
“What?” That brief glimpse of my son has opened a gaping cavity in my chest, but it never occurred to me to fill it with the pieces of Lily’s broken heart. “I wouldn’t. I couldn’t hurt her like that.”
I don’t realize I’m pulling at my hair until Otley’s hand covers mine.
He’s reached around our mate, and a comforting purr rattles in his chest as he squeezes my fingers.
Tristan is stroking my face and kissing my neck; soft, soothing pecks where the vein is throbbing painfully in my throat.
Sweat is trickling down my back, and despite the air conditioning, I feel like my clothes are about to catch fire.
Is this what it feels like to have a mental breakdown?
Fuck knows, but I cling to both my mates like they’re the only thing keeping me from ripping down the middle.
“Breathe, baby,” Tristan says as he strokes my sweaty cheek. “Everything will be okay. We just need to give Lily some time to get to know us.”
I nod, even though the distance growing between us is already pounding inside my skull. “It’s just… I’ve missed so much.”
Not just Leo’s baby years – and his first goddamn haircut, which pretty much flayed my heart - but I wasn’t there for Lily’s pregnancy.
I cringe to think of how selfish I’d been a decade ago, blithely flitting from audition to industry party, my star already on the rise.
And what had Lily been dealing with? Morning sickness?
Heartburn? I only know they exist because I had a pregnant ‘wife’ in one of my films. But Lily had faced it all on her own, assuming from our silence that we wanted nothing to do with her or the baby we’d given her.
“If that fucker wasn’t dead, I’d fly back to LA and kill him,” I tell my mates in a voice shaking with fury.
There’s not much they can say to that, so we stew in a heavy silence until we pull up outside a sprawling house.
It’s perched on the edge of a picturesque lake, surrounded by thick trees that grow right down to the water.
I can’t tell if the house is Gothic revival or Idaho chic, with the setting sun painting the exterior in shades of purple, black, and rust. I catch a glimpse of turrets and bay windows surrounded by decorative trim, and then we’ve mounted the wraparound porch, and Tristan is ushering me inside.
The house smells of fresh paint and pack, and I take a shuddering breath.
The bones of the house are old, but it has a welcoming vibe, and I shoot Otley a grateful glance.
If I’m going to enter my meltdown era, this seems like as good a place as any.
“You need food and a shower,” he tells me, opening the door to a bathroom off the entryway. It’s small but tastefully decorated, and he nods at my wrecked reflection in the mirror. “Freshen up, and then we can give you a proper tour.”
I’m more interested in exploring the house we just left, but I pinch my lips together and start peeling off my clothes.
Tristan stays to help while Otley goes to sort things with the security guys, and I pull my mate into my arms as soon as we’re alone.
I give him a long, lingering kiss, soaking up the comfort that only he can give me.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. This is a crummy way to say hello after so long apart. ”
“It tastes pretty good to me,” he murmurs, licking his lips with a soft smile. “And if that kiss was crumbs, I can’t wait to gorge myself on the whole cake.”
“God, me too,” I groan, pushing his collar aside and biting gently on his mating mark.
Just seeing my teeth on his perfect skin gives me a jolt of possessive satisfaction.
I might have fucked up a lot of things, but taking Tris as my mate was a stroke of genius.
Of course, Ot had to hit him with his car first, but it’s the way the story ends that matters.
“Are you okay? Is the campaign going well?”
I’m not across the details, except that I knew they were interested in Idaho because of the rustic locations.
Well, the locations and the fact that Lily and Leo live here.
I’m tempted to go find Otley for more of those details, but Tris gives me a firm look and steers me towards the shower.
“I’m fine, and my job is the last thing you need to worry about. Wash off the trip and then come eat.”
“You’re not showering with me?”
I must sound forlorn, because Tris bites his lip. “You look ready to drop, babe. Let’s save the cake until after you’ve eaten.”
I grumble at his smirk, but accept his logic when my thighs cramp and my knees nearly give way.
Sitting on the wooden bench, I have the fastest washdown in history, and then drag on the clothes Tris dug out of my luggage.
They smell a little of Alaska and homesickness, but I grit my teeth and rush out to find the others.
They’re sitting at a large, gleaming table next to the kitchen counter and I collapse into a chair, wolfing down the sandwich in front of me.
I barely taste it, my eyes fixed on my mates until Otley gives me an amused nod.
“Okay, I’m clean and fed.” I push my plate away and look between them. “Now tell me everything you know.”