CHAPTER THIRTEEN – LOGAN
I stand at the door to Lily’s bedroom, trying to control the rush of helpless anger rolling through my body.
After passing out in my arms, I carried her inside to the couch, but a scuffle on the porch convinced me to move her upstairs.
Seems a few amateur newshounds were lurking nearby and tried to take their damned pictures through the windows.
The only small mercy was that Lily wasn’t awake to see her precious flowerpots getting kicked to shit all over her doorstep.
I’d call them fucking animals, except that’s an insult to Bloomer and the chickens.
It’s dark outside now, and the reporters – and bottom-feeding gawkers – have retreated for the night.
Probably helped that Cooper grabbed a guy who tried to climb in the kitchen window and tossed him off the porch steps.
Seems there’s nothing like a dislocated shoulder to snuff out your urge to invade someone’s privacy.
I only hesitate for a moment longer, then cross the room to crouch at Lily’s side.
The drapes are closed, but there’s enough light from the bathroom to paint her face in weary streaks.
Lily Percy is the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen, but there’s no denying the bruise-like shadows on her face, even when she’s deep in an exhausted sleep.
I hate to wake her, but it’s doctor’s orders – or, in this case, advice from Bridge, our team medic.
“Lily, can you open your eyes for me? Just for a moment so I can check if you’re okay. ”
She makes a sound of protest, but her lashes flutter open, her gaze hazy and unfocused. “Logan?”
“There you are, sweetheart.” I do my best to summon a reassuring smile. “How are you feeling?”
Stupid question, but Bridge said I needed to wake her if she was still out after a couple of hours. She looks around now, her panic mounting as she tries to push herself up onto her elbows. “Leo!”
“He's fine,” I say in a soothing voice, even though her distress feels like a kick to the gut. “He's in his room. Want me to get him?”
She nods but grabs my arm before I can move away. “He was in the balloon.” I nod and her throat clicks, like she’s still dry mouthed with terror. “I thought he was up there by himself!”
“I know.” I brush her tangled curls back from her sticky forehead. She was shivering in her sleep, despite the mountain of blankets I buried her under, but now she feels like she’s running a fever. “He wasn’t alone, though, okay? He was with the pilot, and they were still anchored to the ground.”
She blinks at me, her blue eyes clouded with confusion. “Really? There was a rope?”
“Yeah, he was safe. But that doesn’t change the fact he was somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be.”
She bites her lip, a rush of color staining her pale cheeks. “Crap. I overreacted, then.”
“You got a fright.” Worse than that, she was gripped by a terror so stark, it overrode all of her other senses and had her dropping like a stone into my arms. I’ve seen enough panic attacks in war zones to know that she wasn’t just being an overprotective parent.
“You’re his mom. You have every right to feel any way you please. ”
But she makes a small sound of distress as she shrinks in on herself, and I almost back off. I don’t want to push her further, but the protector in me needs to know. How can I help her fight her battles if I don’t know what they are? “You never told me you had a fear of heights, LeeLee.”
She huffs out a breath and runs a trembling hand across her face. “It’s nothing I can fix, so I didn’t see the point in talking about it.”
“But it explains why you didn’t come visit me when I was based in San Diego.”
I shouldn’t make this about my hurt feelings, but it’s bugged me a lot over the years, why she never wanted to visit when I was stationed at Camp Pendleton.
She had plenty of good excuses – Leo, the farm, her money worries – but even when I told her I’d cover everything, she turned me down flat.
I just assumed she saw our relationship as a convenience, and not something she wanted to pursue across state lines.
“I wanted to,” she says in a quiet voice, her gaze downcast. “But planes and California… They’re not the best mix for me.”
She tries to summon a smirk, but I can hear the pain beneath her words, and I’m suddenly a decade younger and taking a panicked call from Kaysie.
She’d met Lily at the airport after her trip to LA, only to find that the pilot had to sedate her mid-flight.
She’d suffered some kind of breakdown and when they finally got her off the plane, she was so strung out and weepy, she scared Kaysie half to death.
I was already at boot camp, and I’ll never forget how fucking useless I felt, knowing Lily had gone through her first heat with strangers and then endured some kind of terrifying episode on the way home.
“Don’t worry about that now.” I try to keep the emotion off my face as I push back to my feet.
Bridge said she’d be disoriented after such an extreme panic attack, and I should surround her with safe, familiar things.
I pull her crocheted blanket over her and stroke her curls, wishing I could wrap her in Kevlar and never let another damn thing hurt her ever again. “Let me get Leo for you.”
She nods, and I make quick work of fetching her hangdog son and bringing him to her bedside.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Leo whispers, staring down at her like she’s made of glass. “I didn’t mean to scare you like that.” I've already scolded him plenty, and I’m not surprised to see a tear trickle down his cheek. “Logan said you’re afraid of heights and me being up in the balloon freaked you out.”
Lily clicks her tongue but opens her arms to him, and he rockets forward, burying his face in her neck with a whimper.
Her face tightens at the sound, but she murmurs soft words in his ear, her hands stroking the back of his head.
He’s sniffling when he finally pulls away, and I rest a hand on his shoulder, but his attention never leaves Lily’s face.
“Not liking heights is my problem, not yours,” she says quietly, wiping the tear track off his cheek.
“If you want to grow up and fly balloons for a living, that’s your choice, and I’ll cheer you on every step of the way.
But until you’re older, asking for permission and letting me know where you are, that's your responsibility. I can't always be watching you, Leo.” Her voice catches, her hand covering his where it’s clutching her blanket. “I need to know you’re safe, okay?”
“I get it, Mom,” he says in a wobbly voice. “I should've asked. I won’t do it again.”
“Okay. Thanks, hun.” They hug again and Leo’s shoulders straighten when he steps away.
He’s as bad as Bloomer for running headfirst into things, but maybe this scare will cool his jets a little.
But Lily’s face is still strained as she pushes herself up against her pillows.
“Did you get something to eat? What time is it anyway?”
“It’s not that late,” I tell her, and nod at Leo.
“Go finish packing while I talk to your mom.” He nods and scampers from the room, while Lily looks at me in alarm.
“He’s fine, but things are pretty crazy out there.
” I jerk a thumb at the window. “The news people have become a real problem. They're camped out the front, and more are on their way. I’ve talked to Ellis’ security team, and we all agree we need to get out of here for a few days. ”
“You mean a hotel?” Lily is already moving, swinging her legs out of bed and reaching for her shoes. The lines are deeper around her mouth as she asks, “Will things be any quieter at the lodge? If there are reporters in town, that’s where they’ll be staying.”
I drop to a knee so I can lace up her sneakers.
“The guys offered their place for a couple of nights.” She goes stiff with surprise, and I cradle her ankle, running my thumb soothingly over the delicate bones.
“Marion said she can keep things ticking over here, and Charlie and Dan have agreed to take the surplus stock to the distributor in Boise.”
Lily gnaws on her lip some more, but there’s a fierce look in her eyes that I recognize from all the times Leo was sick or hurting.
Momma bear mode, Rosie used to call it, because Lily would do just about anything to protect Leo, even if it meant dragging herself out of her bed after blacking out from shock.
“You don't think they’ll just follow us there?”
“They might try, but Willow Lake is a lot harder to access than the farm.” She flushes, no doubt at the fact that its remoteness is one of the reasons she spends her heats there.
Solitary heats, spent alone in Rosie’s old Airstream, even on the rare occasion when they overlapped with my leave.
I don’t let my mind go down that path, squeezing her hand instead.
“It’s got one road in, and the security guys already have it locked down.
You’re not gonna find a safer place in Knotty Falls. ”
Lily nods, but as she drags her riotous curls into a loose bun, she still looks unconvinced. “I’m just not sure about dumping ourselves on their doorstep, though.”
I snort, since the guys will no doubt be jumping with joy at having them under their roof.
“They’re not gonna complain. Besides, they created the problem.
” She shrugs and I say the next part carefully, checking her face for a reaction.
“I thought I’d maybe take the Airstream out there.
Have a place to retreat to, if you need it. ”
Her gaze snaps up, her eyes wide. “But you're coming with us, right?”