Chapter Four
Felix
March: Three Months Ago
“I thought Ally said you usually drink one beer and go home.” I smiled as I slid a fresh IPA across the counter to Bennett.
It was a slow night at the bar, which I was grateful for since it was only my third night on the job and my first without Ally.
We had two waitresses running food, so I had plenty of time to notice the way Bennett’s eyes followed me around the bar while I worked.
He smirked at me. “There used to be no reason to stay for a second drink.”
I leaned on my elbows in front of him, taking a hit of his pine scent.
It was nearly as addictive as the drugs used to be—something I realized didn’t fill with me as much fear as it used to.
The therapists in rehab had spent a lot of time reminding us that the way alphas and omegas reacted to each other’s pheromones was an entirely different neurological pathway than drug addiction.
Both felt good, producing a high in some ways, but the mechanisms were different and not to be feared.
Omegas didn’t become addicted to an alpha’s scent in the same way that I’d been addicted to drugs.
“And what’s making you stay for a second drink now?” I asked.
“I’m trying to entice the gorgeous bartender who works here to go on a date with me by continuing to tempt him with my smoking hot presence.”
I laughed and looked around. “And where is this gorgeous bartender you’re so set on wooing? Should I be jealous?”
“Never.” He smiled broadly at me. “Are you feeling wooed at all yet?”
I shook my head and moved to grab another beer for the woman at the other end of the bar who’d just finished hers. “We’re not happening, Bennett. It’s a bad idea.”
“It’s a great idea,” he said.
“It’s not. For many reasons.” I delivered the beer and walked right back to him, like a magnetic energy beyond my control was responsible for my feet.
“Because you’re not interested?” he asked, raising one eyebrow, daring me to lie.
“Because there are complications associated with dating me.”
He waved his hand, brushing me off. “Please, nothing could scare me away from you.”
“You can’t be certain of that.”
“Are you worried about me being weirded out that you’re left-handed?” he asked with a smirk. “I will admit that’s going to take some getting used to, but I’m willing to give it a try for you.”
“I feel like there’s a hand job joke on the tip of your tongue.”
Bennett laughed. “I was going to say, ‘I’ve never been stroked off with a left hand before, but I bet it feels just as good.’ Then I was worried the joke was too forward, and I am still very much intent on wooing you. I thought I’d better save the sex jokes for next week.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “I can handle forward jokes if it means you not holding back on me. Also, it would absolutely feel as good. Possibly even better.” I winked.
He grinned. “Should we go in the back and find out?”
“Are you always this persistent?” I folded my arms across my chest.
“Not usually. I’ve never wanted to take anyone out as badly as I want to take you out. Seriously, sex jokes aside, I want to take you out on a date.” He took a long swallow of his beer, studying me and my body heated. “Would you prefer if I give up?”
“I’m not going to say yes,” I said, my heart aching.
But damn, I want to say yes.
I hadn’t met anyone who I’d been tempted to say yes to since rehab, and I had no idea how to explain that I was a recovering addict and already mated. As soon as any alpha heard that, they’d run for the hills at the thought of some perceived competition for my attention.
In reality, there was no competition. I was ready to ask Ryder to break our bond.
It was so weak at this point that some days, I even forgot it was there.
The only reason I hadn’t asked him yet was because I wasn’t ready for the addiction triggers that I’d be exposing myself to by reaching out to him.
His car, his apartment, just his presence in general were all places I associated with being high.
I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to put myself in a scenario with an association that strong yet, and given the absence of any dating life recently, there also wasn’t a pressing need to do it right away.
Plus, it’s likely Ryder will never agree to break our bond.
Still, I didn’t want Bennett to stop trying to date me.
I liked being the focus of his attention, and deep down, I knew I would eventually say yes if he showed me he was interested long enough to convince me that he might be able to handle my past. Anyone who gave up easily would never stick around after they found out the truth.
“But you’re not saying no?” Bennett asked, reaching his hand across the counter toward me.
I squeezed his hand and electricity jolted through me. “I’m not saying no. But I’m not saying yes—yet.”
He smiled broadly. “I can work with yet. How’s tomorrow?”
“For what?”
“For our next unofficial date.”
I laughed. “I’m working tomorrow.”
“Perfect. I’ll be here at my regular time. You can pretend you’re not going to say yes to a future date, and I’ll just flirt with you between customers.”
I bit my bottom lip to suppress a grin. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Bennett beamed. “Good.” He tipped his head at the other side of the bar. “You’ve got a group that just sat down at the other end. But I’ll be here for a while longer if you want to flirt some more tonight.”
I laughed and shook my head as I walked away from him. It was a tempting offer but maybe the universe was trying to save me from myself because suddenly the bar filled up, and my time for flirting ceased to exist as I made drink after drink until closing.
Bennett came back the next night, and the night after that, and so on for the next two weeks. He was one hell of a flirt for someone who claimed not to pick people up at the bar regularly.
During his evenings at The White Fang, I’d seen several people approach him with interest—omegas, betas, male, female; many of them attractive—but he never even so much as sniffed in their direction.
His eyes were practically locked on me the entire time he was at the bar, and I couldn’t remember anyone ever being as captivated with me as he was.
For all his persistence, he also displayed an immense amount of respect. He never tried to corner me alone, never tried to touch me without consent, he simply made himself available to me each evening and waited for me to go to him—which I did in every free moment I had.
It was like we were locked in a battle of wills, playing a game to see what would happen first. Would Bennett lose interest in me? Or would I finally succumb to my interest in him?
In my defense, I wasn’t blowing off Bennett because I wasn’t attracted to him. He sure as hell knew it too with the way he smirked and sniffed the air not too subtly every time I got aroused from our flirting. Which was often, since he really was the hottest person I’d ever laid eyes on.
When we’d learned about arousal and attraction in health class, I’d practically pleaded with the universe to make me anything other than an omega.
I’d have rather had the ability to smell anything and everything like an alpha, distracting as it probably was, than be an omega whose phenomes attracted every alpha in a five-mile radius when I was turned on.
What’s worse than popping a boner in class in high school when you’re around an attractive person? Try having a self-lubricating asshole that smells so delicious, the captain of the football team is practically panting next to you before you even realize you’re turned on.
Even being a boring ass beta—practically human in biology—would have been better. At least their assholes required a source of external lube, and no one was going to jump them at the first sign of a heat cycle.
And I didn’t even want to get started on the inconvenience of a heat cycle.
It was something no longer biologically imperative for a male omega since we couldn’t bear children, and yet our body still went into heat four times a year.
Four times! We became desperate, whiney, clingy little fuckers. It was degrading.
Except, I do love being cuddled by a hot alpha during my heat.
Since getting sober and breaking things off with Ryder, I’d been making do on my own during my heat cycles, using a service which provided all of the benefits of having an alpha tend to you during your heat except the actual sex.
I was pretty sure you could pay more for that level of service, but I wasn’t interested in paying for sex.
Paying for toys on the other hand—worth every single dollar spent.
The only other way I’d ever spent my heat cycles was with Ryder.
We’d been together off and on for years, and whenever I went into heat, he was there.
I used to think it was romantic, until I realized it was more about him feeling like he owned me than him caring about tending to my needs—emotional or physical.
Plus, he’d been a shit cuddler unless he was high.
I set down a glass of whiskey in front of a beta woman who was making flirty eyes at me when the bar door opened and an omega female walked in, her short denim skirt baring nearly all of her long, pale legs.
She spotted Bennett and smiled, waving at him as she walked straight toward him and tossed her long, dark hair over her shoulder.
Um, excuse me, that alpha is mine.
I made it to their end of the bar just in time for him to wrap his arm around her shoulders as she kissed his cheek, leaving behind a lipstick print on his skin.
I picked up a napkin and held it out to him while keeping my eyes on her.
Who the fuck is she?
He lifted one eyebrow as the woman settled on the seat next to him and smiled at me. “You must be Felix,” she said. “I’ve heard a lot about you. Can I get a hard seltzer? Wild berry?”
“Sure,” I said, trying—and failing—not to glare at her.