CHAPTER THIRTEEN – Nicolette
I made a checklist, and after three days, I had several things already marked off. Learning to drive the snow machines and four wheelers was easy. The accelerator and brake were on the handles. Roaring down the driveway in the snow on them was fun. The pickup’s stick shift was another matter. I kept stalling it out. Why didn’t everyone just have automatic transmission? It would make the world a simpler place.
Skiing came naturally to me, and the snowshoes were weird, but I likened them to giant snow flip flops.
The general store in town did indeed have women’s clothing. Too much of it was pink camouflage. No thank you. My drawers now held long underwear and thick jeans which felt like I was wearing carpet. Kodiak said he’d get me some specially ordered long underwear for Christmas which were colors more to my liking. That was sweet, but I wanted to tell him women wanted pretty lacy panties, not the least sexy of all the underwear out there.
Kodiak teased me about wanting to see me in my long underwear. He bought everything and doted on me. Ezekiel, too, spoiled me with attention. The two of them would glare at one another, but neither got in the other’s face.
Thankfully, my heat had been dampened by me getting lost in the woods. I was so exhausted, I was going to bed after dinner and getting up when the sun was above the mountains to the east which was nearly twelve hours a night. A few baths where I was accompanied by my vibrator were enough to keep my heat in check.
Yet as I recovered and got more comfortable, the ache for something more than just a pink rabbit-eared sex toy was starting to dominate not only my dreams, but my thoughts any time the guys were around. When Kodiak was showing me how to use the bear spray, I could only imagine my hands wrapped around his big cock instead of the can. And when Ezekiel taught me how to properly command the dogs, I wanted him to order me to get on my knees and open my mouth for his throbbing erection.
Then there was Silas. He barely said two words to me, and he looked furious every time I caught him staring at me. Every day he left messes. He even let the dogs into my room without drying them off from being outside. My blankets had been soaked since Atka and Kavik napped on my bed.
Silas’ unspoken dislike of me was one thing. I could handle someone not liking me, but he snapped and snarled at Kodiak and Ezekiel. The three of them eyed one another like they were planning on how to do away with one another’s bodies. There was a needy ache between my legs, but the blade in my heart went deeper every time they nearly came to blows.
I had to find a way to ease the tension and reinstate peace in the pack. But how? After three days of watching the Alphas ready to kill one another, I finally got all three of my best friends on the phone together.
“I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be witness to a Fargo scenario.”
“Distract them with sex. Dirty, dirty sex!” Kienna whooped into the receiver.
“Kienna,” Aubrielle groaned and let out a sigh.
“What? Sex always works, especially when it’s a hot redhead luring them into bed.” Kienna laughed, and my cheeks warmed. She never shied away from sex talks, even when the conversations we were having weren’t about sex.
I gnawed on my lower lip, pacing the kitchen. “I don’t know if it would be wise to sleep with them both. Kodiak might kill Ezekiel over it or vice versa. I think I need to choose.”
Kienna gasped. “What? Why?”
“Not every Alpha wants to share,” Aubrielle stated in her soft tone.
“Callista?” I gripped the phone, waiting for our one friend who has been claimed by multiple Alphas to chime in.
“I agree that not all Alphas are good at sharing, but you would be surprised at what a bonded mate will do for you,” Callista replied. “The—”
“Like your Alphas worship the ground you walk on.” Kienna interrupted with a giggle. “Your pack never had trouble sharing you—”
“Not had trouble?” Callista snorted. “While they tried to hide it from me, they most certainly did and sometimes still do. It’s an Alpha’s nature to be territorial, especially when their Omega is in heat.”
That wasn’t helpful at all. “I don’t want to destroy their pack.”
“That’s not your responsibility, Nic.” Callista’s words were firm. “I realize these things happen fast, and you’ve only known them for just under a week, but is there one you like more than the other? Kodiak is the one you were sent there to see if you were compatible with, and he really wants it to work out.”
“Ezekiel sounds so sweet,” Aubrielle said.
“What you need to do is have good ole hate sex with Silas. All that built up tension must be because he wants a piece of your cute butt too.” Kienna would say that. Of course. The more trouble she could cause, the better.
“Silas wants me gone, not in his bed.” Even as I said it, I bit my lip. Some of my lusty dreams featured him, and while I wouldn’t describe it as hate sex, the energy between us in those dreams was fiery. “I like both Kodiak and Ezekiel. They both treat me well, and each of them are smoking hot.”
“Oh, we’ve seen the pictures.” Kienna whistled her appreciation. I laughed, needing that to help cope with my Alpha struggle. That I had to make a choice was eating me up inside. More so, what my presence here was doing to the pack. It churned in my gut, and no matter how I replayed different scenarios in my head, I couldn’t think of how to make it right other than to leave.
Which I internally screamed just thinking about.
“I think you need to give everything more time. Give it a month past your heat. Then you’ll see how you are with each of them while not being driven crazy with hormones.” Callista was the one with the most common sense out of us. She was right, but would the pack last a month?
“I second that,” Aubrielle chimed in.
“Sex is the better answer, but yeah, maybe my cousin might know a thing or two about Alphas.” Kienna teased, and we all giggled about it.
I caught up on all their news and ended the call feeling less stressed. Nothing like a chat with my besties to lift my spirit. I wished they were here with me, or even my sisters. I would settle for my mom and dad too.
Thinking of fathers, there was one person I haven’t asked about the pack yet. I jumped up and did a spin. The dogs stared at me with cocked heads. I threw my arms up and grinned. “Let’s go visit Savva, darlings.”
Whether they knew his name or that we were going for a walk, they raced to the door. Atka whined for me to put on my winter clothes faster. I thought about taking one of the snow machines over, but it was a warmer day, and a walk would do me good.
When I arrived at Savva’s cabin, I spotted him fitting a door for the greenhouse. I hurried over behind the huskies. “Hi Savva. Need a hand?”
“Afternoon, girl. Yeah.” He bobbed his head and motioned to the opposite edge. “Hold it up for me while I get these hinges drilled in. Let me know if it gets too heavy for you.”
I raised my brows. The door was flush with the ground. All I had to do was hold it straight. All of the time we’ve spent together, he’s treated me as if I was fragile. Very similar to Kodiak. Ezekiel was a little better, but he still wanted to do everything for me.
Savva was fast with the drill. He had the holes already marked out and the one side of the hinges on the door. Once it was done, he stepped back and nodded. “Thanks. Good work. I think that’s enough for the day.”
I peered inside of the greenhouse to see it was still a mess in there. “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d love to help you with this. I can clean up inside and get the beds ready to plant seeds. I’ve been watching a few videos online about how to grow vegetables and herbs in greenhouses. I want to try to grow some back at the house too. With all those big windows, there’s enough light. As long as the dogs don’t get into them.”
Savva’s brow furrowed and his jaw worked from side to side. I thought he was going to tell me it was too much work. I wanted to show them all that I was strong, that I could survive in Alaska. Finally, he heaved a sigh and opened the door to walk in. “Yeah, your help is appreciated. My back and legs aren’t what they use to be. I never really tended to the greenhouse myself. My wife did that.” He swallowed as he walked around the dried up beds, emotion shimmering in his eyes. “I would lend a hand, but… yeah.”
“We’ll learn together then.” I gave him a smile, wondering what Savva was like in his younger years. I followed him inside and started to pick up sticks, rocks, and broken pieces of ceramic pots from the floor, setting them on the cracked soil of the beds. The beds themselves looked sturdy, but all the soil would have to be replaced. “What was your wife like, if you don’t mind me asking?”
He picked up some pieces and ran his hands through the dirt, breaking up the clumps. After a minute, he wet his lips. “My Clementine was everything to me. My sunshine. I was more a wild thing than any of those boys were, but she smiled at me and I was hers. We were both born and raised in Alaska. She could make anything grow. Talked about getting fruit trees. Trees in a greenhouse!” He snorted, but his mouth lifted with a soft smile. “If anyone could do it, it would have been her.”
My heart ached for him. Savva clearly still missed her so much. That was the kind of love I wanted. Was Ezekiel or Kodiak the one? “She sounds like she was amazing. I hope I can do her greenhouse justice and grow something.”
“I think you’ll do just fine, girl. Clementine would have liked you. You’re a good match for Kodiak. He was becoming too hard and cold like the mountain before you came along.”
Picking up some more broken pot pieces, I worried my lower lip. I didn’t want to ruin this bonding moment, but I’d come here to ask about the pack. “So, they did tell you I’m compatible with both Kodiak and Ezekiel?”
“Yeah, it’ll work itself out.” Savva fetched a broom from a corner and started to sweep the debris on the floor toward the door.
I wasn’t so confident of that. “Well, I don’t know which one I’m the best match with. That’s going to take time…”
“And so it will.” He kept sweeping and then glanced at me, pausing. “You worried that I might be angry if you pick Ezekiel over Kodiak?” He shrugged and shook his head. “I did arrange this all for Kodiak, but all those boys are like my own. If you settle on Ezekiel, I’d be glad for you two.”
That was a relief to know. “Thank you, but…” I wiped my hands on my jeans, still nervous about talking to him about this. “I’m more worried about the pack as a whole. What will happen if I pick one? Will the other leave? Silas is already saying he’s leaving and surveying spots to build his own cabin. I know they’re like brothers. I don’t want to be the reason the pack breaks up.”
“Silas still giving you shit over there?” Savva grunted when I nodded. “He’s a stubborn ass, but if he is dumb enough to walk away from his pack, then that’s not on you. That’s his choice.”
I mostly agreed with that, even if my heart wasn’t listening. “But what about Kodiak and Ezekiel? If I choose one, the other is going to be hurt. I don’t want them to fight over me. Things are already rocky, and I only think they haven’t thrown punches because they’re both more furious with Silas.”
Savva snorted and brushed out a pile of debris out through the door. “If they threw a couple of punches, things would settle down.” I couldn’t hide my shocked expression. He waved it off. “It’s the way we Alphas got to work things out sometimes. I don’t expect females to understand.”
I definitely did not want them to have a physical fight. That was a line I didn’t think they’d be able to heal. I fiddled with the pot shards, my heart thumping with my anxiety. “What can you tell me about them as a pack? Is there anything I can do to make this easier on them?”
He leaned on the broom and scratched at his whiskery chin. “These boys have been today since before they could talk. Silas’ parents died young enough that he can’t remember them, and Ezekiel’s when he was six. I stuffed them all together in one room, treating the other two just like I treated Kodiak. Grief and the woods bonded them.”
My God. I wanted to hug them all. Each of them experienced loss at such a young age. No wonder they were so close.
And my presence was ruining that. Guilt tightened around my heart, squeezing painfully.
“There’s nothing to be done about it, girl.” Savva shook his head and propped the broom up against the wall. “Alphas can’t help themselves when the right Omega comes round. When Silas—” He cut himself off, clenching his jaw. “That’s his story to tell. But the other boys supported him in whatever he wanted.”
I knew Silas had issues with females, but what exactly did happen? Why did he hate me so much?
“This time, a pretty Omega comes along, and two of them are compatible with you. None of them are supporting the others. It’ll be good for the one you choose, but it’s likely going to wreck the pack.” Savva heaved a sad sigh and turned to me with a matter-of-fact expression. “It is what it is. Don’t worry for yourself. Kodiak and Ezekiel will treat you right either one you pick. Just don’t drag it out for too long.” He stepped out the door and swept down his coat. “Now let’s go get cleaned up and have a bite to eat.”
Savva brushed off the conversation as easily as he rid himself of dust. I couldn’t get my feet to move. Everything in me was twisted and heavy.
No. It couldn’t be that way. I wasn’t going to let the pack be destroyed because of me.