23. Ava
Chapter 23
Ava
I’m pregnant.
The realization hits me anew each morning, a weight that settles heavy in my chest. I gained my freedom in the house, but lost it at the same time.
I never wanted a baby. I know that’s unheard of for omegas, but I never wanted to bring another omega into this world. My life has been tarred with anguish and fear, and I never wanted that for my own.
But as I watch Lily coloring at the small table near the window, her little tongue poking out in concentration, I feel a conflicting surge of emotions. There’s a warmth, an instinctive pull towards this child that I can’t deny. But it’s tainted by the bitterness of my situation, the anger at having this choice taken from me.
“That’s a really pretty picture,” I tell Lily, forcing a smile onto my face.
I’m so happy Silas relented. He didn't do it for me. That I’m sure of.
He seems like a decent dad, and that’s something I’m thankful for, because if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t consider Lily’s needs.
Lily turns and gives me the most precious smile, her blue eyes lighting up with pure joy. “It’s for you, Ava!” she exclaims, holding up the paper covered in a riot of colors.
Instinctively, my hand caresses my stomach.
Will my child smile like that?
Will they have that same innocence, that untainted happiness?
Or will they be born into a world of manipulation and control, because that is only what Max knows?
I kneel beside Lily, taking the picture from her small hands. “Thank you, sweetie. It’s beautiful.”
She beams at me, then turns back to her coloring, humming to herself. I watch her, a lump forming in my throat.
In another life, in another world, I might have wanted this. A child to love, to protect, to shower with affection.
But not like this. Not here. Not with him.
I blink back tears, determined not to let Lily see my distress. She’s innocent in all of this, a bright spot in the darkness of my captivity. I won’t taint that for her.
The door opens, and Silas steps in.
It’s hot, and he’s only wearing a pair of shorts—his muscular body is in full view. I squeeze my thighs together. The memory of my heat comes back and I hate myself for the way my cheeks are burning.
Luckily, he’s not looking at me.
Not at first.
His eyes soften as he looks at his daughter as she draws, but harden slightly when they meet mine.
I swallow.
I wonder, not for the first time, what he thinks of all this. What he really thinks of me. And why he suddenly decided he wants me in Lily’s life.
“Lily,” he says gently, “would you like to go for a walk with Ava again?”
Lily jumps up, her face alight with excitement. “Yes, Daddy! Can we go to the beach?”
Silas nods, then turns to me. “If you’re feeling up to it,” he says, his tone neutral but his eyes searching my face.
I force another smile, standing up and reaching for Lily’s hand. “Of course,” I say, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside me. “I’d love to.”
As we head out, Lily chattering excitedly about seashells and sandcastles, I steel myself. Every moment outside is a chance to plan, to observe, to find a way out.
I’ll play their game for now. But I won’t let them win. Not when there’s so much more at stake now.
My hand instinctively goes to my stomach again. I may not have wanted this baby, but now that it’s here, I’ll do whatever it takes to give it a better life than this. A prisoner on this beautiful island.
Somehow, someway, we’ll escape.
We have to.
The sun beats down on us as we walk along the shoreline.
Lily runs ahead, squealing with delight as the waves chase her feet. I keep a watchful eye on her, but I can feel Silas’s gaze boring into me.
Finally, I can’t take the tension anymore. I turn to face him, my feet sinking slightly into the warm sand, but not as much as my heart sinks when he looks at me with what looks a lot like longing.
But I know I’m mistaken. I just don’t know why.
“Why don’t you like me?” I ask bluntly, raising my voice so it doesn’t get lost over the crash of the waves.
Silas’s face hardens, his jaw clenching. For a moment, I think he won’t answer. Then he speaks, his voice low and controlled. “It’s not that simple.”
I cross my arms, standing my ground. “Then explain it to me. Because from where I’m standing, you’ve disliked me from the moment I arrived. Probably before.”
He looks away, his eyes following Lily as she stoops to pick up a shell. “Like I told you, you wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me,” I challenge as my patience wears thin.
Silas turns back to me, his eyes flashing with an emotion I can’t quite place. Anger? Pain? “Her mother …” He starts, then hesitates.
I wait, my heart pounding. What could Lily’s mother have to do with his animosity towards me?
“Her mother,” Silas continues, his voice strained, “was an omega. Like you.”
I furrow my brow, confused. “And?”
Silas takes a deep breath, as if steeling himself. “And she left us. She couldn’t handle being with ... with someone like me.”
The words tumble out of him now, as if a dam has broken. “An alpha whose nose twitched when he could smell the scent of his omega.”
Shocked, I say, “Lily’s mother wasn’t your scent match?”
He stares at me, shaking his head. “No, but she was enough. Though, it’s a pity she never believed me when I told her. And she was prepared to leave Lily behind. Left me behind.”
I stand, stunned, as the pieces start to fall into place—his coldness, his distrust.
“You think I’ll do the same,” I say softly, realization dawning. “I see.” I nod my head lightly with understanding. “You want to keep me at arm’s length for Lily’s sake? She’s perfect, and I’ll understand if you want me to step back a little.”
“Do you want to?”
“No, but I’ll do it for your sake. I’m only here for a short while. I don’t want her upset when I leave. I'll let her spend more time with her nanny.”
Silas nods. First there’s pain in his eyes, but it quickly turns to defiance. “Just like that?” He clicks his fingers. “You can switch on and off that easily.”
“No,” I gasp out. “It’ll break my heart to not see her, but I don’t want to break hers.”
“Then don’t leave.”
“What?”
“Stay here. Be her mom.”
I open my mouth to respond, but Lily’s eager shout interrupts us. “Daddy! Ava! Look what I found!”
As we turn to look at the beaming child as she runs along the beach, there’s a twist in my gut that makes me want to double over.
I want to reassure Silas, to tell him I’d never hurt Lily.
But the truth is, I can’t.
I want to escape.
I want my life back.
Am I going to break Lily’s heart when that happens?
“You owe me?”
I glare at him. “Why do you keep saying that?”
“Look,” Lily yells. I turn to her and smile as she holds out a handful of pebbles, drops them at my feet and skips away again.
“Garrett Jameson.”
I shiver as the name rolls off his tongue.
I twist to Silas and stare at him.
My head tilts as I take in his features more carefully than ever before.
The gray eyes that looked a shade of silver before. The sharp jaw and the perfectly kissable lips. His upper face then was covered in a masquerade mask.
And then I remember the lady he was with.
The moment our eyes meet, a connection sparks in the air. My head shakes in disbelief, my mind unable to comprehend what he’s trying to tell me. “I’m not your scent match.”
“You were.”
“Were?” I shake my head, not understanding.
“I don’t want an omega. Scent match or not. I get monthly injections to suppress my scent.”
“Is that why Max hired you? Because he knew you were my scent match, too?”
“Scent matches are drawn to each other. Packs are drawn to each other. He sent me to Garrett Jameson’s fundraiser. I had a wife and a child, but he wanted to know if your scent was truly invisible.”
I shake my head. “He sent you because he wanted to know if I’d react to you?”
“And you did. And my wife noticed.” He pauses as he inhales deeply through his nose. “She noticed me too.”
“I didn’t react to you.” My voice has an edge of defiance to it.
He taps the tip of his pointer finger just below my right eye and says, “These did. Your nose may not have reacted, but your eyes went black.”
I gasp. “I’m sorry.”
He chuckles. “Why?”
“Because I take it that’s why your wife left you and Lily.”
His chin tilts high as he looks at the seagulls flying high and shakes his head. “She didn’t just leave us. She tried to kill me that night. Drove the car into a tree. She was prepared to leave Lily in this world all alone, because I was attracted to you. Despite me telling her I would never leave her.”
“I’m sure your attraction to your wife was real and not just an alpha omega scent.” I blurt. “I mean, I love Seb. He’s a beta. We can deny our biology. It’s just willpower.”
“Shut up,” he growls under his breath as Lily gets closer.
Blood courses through my veins, straight to my ears, pounding against my drums as the weight of everything presses down on me.
“Daddy.” Lily takes hold of Silas’ hand as my own covers my mouth.
“I’m sorry.” I press a kiss to the top of Lily’s head, turn and run up the pathway back to the villa.
Locking myself in my room as Silas’s words go over and over in my head.
You owe me.
Only then do I realize his wife is dead.
And he blames me.