30. Seb
Chapter 30
Seb
I can’t stop staring at Ava as she sits on the deck of the boat, her gaze fixed on the horizon. Just like she’s done for the past two days since we arrived on the Italian Amalfi Coast.
It’s clear she’s hurting, and I know it’s because she’s away from her bonded mate.
I just wish she’d talk to me. The sight of her in pain tears at my heart, not out of jealousy, but out of fear that she’ll leave me.
“Ava, please,” I plead as I watch her press her hand over her chest again, wincing in pain, but it’s the way she seems on edge that I’m afraid of.
Maybe I’m mistaken. Is she worried Max will work out where she is?
I’d already thought of that and why I took the boat to the Amalfi Coast and then flew by private jet to rescue her.
Then I used a fake passport and had one made for Ava. So there’s no trace of our journey to Italy. Not that Ava believes Max won’t come looking for her.
“He’s in pain,” she whimpers.
“He shouldn’t have claimed you. This is his punishment.” I hold her in my arms tighter than ever, terrified of losing her. “But we need to do something about this. I can’t stand seeing you in pain any longer.”
Groaning, she reaches into her bag and pulls out a leaflet, handing it to me. “I got this. It’s about neutralizing the claiming bond.”
I take the leaflet, hope blooms in my chest as I read it. “This could work?”
Ava nods. “I hope so.” Her eyes are full of longing as I take my cell and call the clinic.
I take a deep breath as my call is picked up and say, “Can I make an appointment?”
“What happened on the island?” I ask later that day.
She’s been too quiet since I got her back, and I’m scared to hear she’s missing them. “You’re different." I sigh. "I don’t know what it is, but you’re not my Ava.”
“It’s just the bond.”
I shake my head. “It’s more than that.”
She twists to me. Eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I’m scared to tell you.”
There’s a thud in my head, thinking the worst. “I’m here for you. I’ve always been there for you.”
“You might not want me anymore.”
My heart aches at her words. “Of course I will. But I can see you’re hurting, and I need to understand what you’re going through.”
Ava takes a deep breath. “I’ve changed, Seb. They’ve—" She sucks back a sob. "They’ve altered how I feel. How I see things.” She takes another deep breath.
“Once the bond is neutralized, it’ll go away,” I tell her.
Shaking her head, she continues, “I’m an omega. I can’t hide from it any longer, and I’m afraid you'll realize I’m not worth it anymore.”
I fall to my knees in front of her, cupping her face with my hands. “Oh, Ava. I’ve always known you’re an omega, and I’ll do anything to help you through that. I was prepared to share you with alphas, Ava. What does that tell you? It tells you I’m all in with you. I accept I’ve fallen in love with an omega and heartache will follow if I don’t accept your biology.”
“I love you,” she whispers and swallows. “But I wanted them, Seb. And even when they weren’t so kind to me, I had to fight my instincts every single day. Do you want that?”
I could kill them for not being nice to her, but I could also laugh. There’s a very good chance that Ava infuriated them with her ways.
I’m glad.
I smile as I stroke her cheek. “As long as you want me.” I take her in my arms.
“I always want you. That never stopped.”
My heart thrums knowing that.
I press a long kiss on her lips. “I want to die in your arms when I’m an old man. But that doesn’t mean I hate that you’re not happy and carefree, like you used to be. There’s something else, though, isn’t there?” I lean back on my heels and stare at her. She sighs. “Help me understand. Please.”
Ava shakes her head, a sad smile on her face. “I don’t know if I can.”
Frustration bubbles up inside me. “How can I understand if you won’t talk to me? We used to share everything.”
“That was before,” Ava says softly. “Everything’s different now.”
“How?”
She picks up her glass of water and takes a sip, holding the glass against her mouth before she says, “Because I’m pregnant.”
I lurch back, gripping the edge of the table for support. “Pregnant?” I choke out. “He did it. The bastard.”
“You knew?” she whimpers, eyes accusing. “Did you know?” Ava’s teeth dig into her lip as she tries to hold back her emotions.
I nod. “It was mentioned. I don’t know when or where.”
She sighs. “It’s Max’s baby. He wants it. Everything he did was to get me pregnant.”
My mind reels, remembering her heat, while trying to process this information. “What do you want to do?” I ask. Not telling her I remember him mentioning he wanted the baby and I had to be the one who handed the baby to him.
“I want to keep the baby,” she says firmly. “I refuse to hand it over to Max.”
Confusion washes over me. “But ... but you never wanted babies before. What changed?”
Ava’s expression hardens. “I’ve changed, Seb. Is that so hard to believe?”
“It’s Max’s baby,” I argue, my voice rising. “How can you want to keep it after everything he’s done?”
“Because it’s my baby too,” she snaps back. Adding insult to injury, she adds, “Silas has a three-year-old daughter named Lily. My heart aches with how much I miss her.” And I feel like she's plunged a knife into my heart and slowly turned it.
I stare at her, more confused than ever. The woman in front of me is a stranger. She never wanted children, and now she’s pregnant and missing another man’s child?
“You’ve changed,” I say, my voice scratchy as hell on my throat. "The old Ava—"
Her eyes flash with anger as she interrupts me. “And you’ve turned from sweet to being as bad as Max and Silas. You don’t get to judge me, Seb. You don’t know what I’ve been through.”
We stand there, the tension between us visible in our glares at each other. But I don’t recognize the woman in front of me anymore, and I’m not sure she recognizes me either.
Our relationship, once strong and sturdy, now resembles crumbling ruins, barely holding on.
Silence stretches between us, the air full with unspoken words and growing tension.
Finally, I can’t hold back anymore. “The woman I fell in love with—”
“Is gone,” she interrupts, her voice hard. “And you’ve changed too. The sweet, understanding Seb I knew wouldn’t push me like this.”
Her words are hurtful, but true.
We stare at each other, the distance between us suddenly insurmountable.
“Where do we go from here?” I ask.
Ava turns back to stare at the sea, her voice hollow as she replies, “I don’t know, Seb. I just don’t know.”
The next day, we’re at the clinic with the doctor checking Ava’s vital statistics when he asks an onslaught of questions.
“And is there a chance you could be pregnant?” he asks next. His pen hovering over the paperwork as my stomach furls with an emotion I don’t want to admit to having.
“I am,” Ava whispers.
“Oh. Then I’m sorry,” the doctor says with a sigh, “but we can’t neutralize the claiming bond until after the baby is born. It could disrupt the bond between the baby and the father.”
“Just do it,” I growl at the doctor, frustration boiling over. “I’ll be the baby’s father.”
“Thank you.” Ava places a hand on my arm. “But I can’t do that to the baby, Seb, or Max.”
Her words cut deep, and my hope quickly turns to despair. I want to be there for her, and to be the baby’s father, but this constant reminder of her bond with Max is tearing me apart.
“She can’t. It’s also illegal,” the doctor adds, finalizing the argument. “Come back once the baby is born.”
Outside the clinic, I can’t hold back my anger any longer. “How are we supposed to move forward like this, Ava? Every day, you’re in pain because of him. You’re having his baby and—”
Ava’s eyes fill with tears. “I don’t know, Seb. I just don't know.”
“We could move away. To the US, or the Caribbean. Far enough to not feel the bond. At least until the baby is here. He’ll never know.”
Her eyes are downcast as she whispers, “Or maybe we need some time apart.”
“Time apart? Ava, no!” Her words hit me like I’ve been punched in the chest. “We can figure this out together.”
She shakes her head. “I need to sort through my feelings, Seb. And you ... you need to decide if you can really accept this situation. The baby, the bond, all of it.”
I reach for her hand, but she pulls away. “Please, don’t do this,” I beg.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “But I think it’s for the best. For now.”
“I love you, Ava. Please!”
“And I love you, but it’s not just me now.” Her hand instinctively goes to her stomach. “And I need some time to work out how I feel. About the baby ... about Lily.” She holds her hand against her heart. “I love her, Seb. I miss her so much.”
I know it’s the two alphas too, but she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings anymore than she already has.
Unshed tears coat her eyes and I just know I’m going to lose her if I don’t give her some time.
“I’m going to use the time away from everyone to deal with my past. Maybe it’s the only way I can go forward with my future.”
She turns and I watch her walk away, feeling like my world is collapsing all over again.