Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
“Was that a smart decision?” Paul asks me over lunch.
He peers at me across the table at his favorite Greek restaurant. I’m here at his insistence, not because I want to be. Logically, I know that my best friend is trying to check on me after my depressive episode, but all this succeeds in doing is making me feel like a burden.
An obligation.
“I don’t really care,” I respond with a huff. “It’s done, isn’t it? I’ve got the tattoo. I hope she likes it, but if she doesn’t, I’ll get it covered up.”
“I just don’t know why you went and got a tattoo when you don’t even know her real name!” This is the part that bothers him the most. That I know nothing about my Omega, yet I’m all in.
“I don’t need to know her name. She’s mine. You’ll understand when you meet your Omega.”
Paul scoffs and closes his menu. “Unlikely. You know we’ll never agree on an Omega.”
Paul’s pack doesn’t get along well, and they never have. But they can’t seem to stay apart from one another. He met them in high school, and they’ve stuck together since. Now, nearly thirty, half of them feel the need to settle down with an Omega, and the other half don’t.
“Plus, Jack is exclusively into women, unlike the rest of us. I’m fine exploring all genders, but he’s refusing to even talk to any Omegas that aren’t female.” He sighs, ruffling his blonde hair. “Regardless, we’re not talking about my trainwreck of a pack right now. We’re talking about you.”
The waitress comes up to us with a sour look on her face. “Are you ready to order?”
I peer at her name tag and try to give her a warm smile. “Yeah, Lanie, thanks. I’ll get the falafel.”
“Okay, and you?” She raises an eyebrow at Paul.
“Gyro, please.” She snatches our menus off the table and stalks off. “Well, she’s rude.”
I snicker. “Not like my Omega. Oh my God, Paul, she was so sweet.”
He groans and slams his forehead on the table. “I get it. I know. You have one story to tell of her, and you tell it nonstop. You were both on drugs. There is no telling what she is like when she’s not practically in a heat haze.”
“She’s wonderful. I don’t need to know anything more than that. She’s so cute, with purple and blue hair, a little pink from the faded dye, and the tiniest little nose. I’m just so lucky.”
“Purple hair?” he questions, half distracted by something behind me.
“Yeah, well, blue and purple.”
“Like that?” He points, and I turn around slowly, my jaw dropping because my Omega is at the hostess stand waiting to be seated.
I’m out of my chair before I can blink, rushing towards her. She sees me and takes a step back, crashing into an Alpha. He grabs her around the arms. “You okay, Crystal?”
Crystal.
Her name is Crystal. It suits her perfectly. She’s a gem. Beautiful. Rare. Delicate.
My excitement wanes when I see his hands still on my Omega. A growl escapes me as I take a step forward. “Get your hands off of my Omega.”
Crystal’s face turns bright red, and she starts to stutter, spinning around to address the other Alpha, not me! “Dr. Valentine, he’s not – I’m not-“
Dr. Valentine, because of course he’s a fucking doctor when I’m just a DJ, chuckles. “Another one? So soon? Aren’t you lucky, Crystal?” He pats her arm gently. “I just realized my Omega ,” he emphasizes, clearly for my benefit, “wanted me to come home at lunch. You’ll forgive me if I run, won’t you? I’m sure your Alpha can drop you off at the Clinic.”
Crystal starts to sputter, attempting to follow the doctor out. I don’t know why she won’t even talk to me, but it’s starting to hurt.
“Dr. Valentine!” she hisses.
The doctor stops his exit and turns around, cradling her hands in his. “I know this is scary. I know you’ve had a lot of change. But you deserve happiness, Crystal. I haven’t pried, and I won’t, about a lot of the strangeness I’ve noticed, but you have to remember to take care of yourself. This is part of that.”
Her body slumps like she’s given up the fight, and she nods. “Okay,” she whispers. It’s weak, and honestly, it doesn’t feel like a win.
It’s not supposed to be this hard, is it? Getting my Omega to spend time with me?
The doctor leaves, and Crystal stares at me with wide, fearful eyes.
“Do you like gyros or falafel?” I blurt.
She wrinkles her forehead. “I… like the falafel here. Why?”
Taking her hand in mine—oh my God, her hand is so soft and warm—I pull her towards the table where Paul is watching us with a furrowed brow.
“Paul, you’re leaving now.” He sputters in protest, but I turn my back to him, facing her fully. “Paul is leaving. Please sit down.”
My friend stands up slowly, shaking his head, but there is a flush of amusement in his eyes. “You owe me,” he hisses in my ear as he passes me. “Nice to meet you, I guess,” he tells Crystal. She gives a weak wave.
Crystal lowers herself into the seat I vacated, and I take Paul’s. I can’t stop staring at her. She’s even prettier than I remembered. Her colorful hair is loose, with a slight wave as it barely brushes over her shoulders. She has a pair of wide-legged trousers that are so flowy they resemble a skirt and a pale yellow blouse.
Why was she with a doctor? She’s wearing office clothes. She doesn’t work in an office.
Was she on a date ? He said his Omega, but maybe he wants two?
I can feel myself spiraling, feel my breathing pick up, as the fear of losing her to another Alpha kicks up in my chest. It aches like a wound left untended.
I can’t see anything. Why has my vision gone spotty?
“Breathe, Alpha,” comes a whisper, joined by warm hands on my cheeks. “Breathe.”
Cotton candy. Sweetness, pure sugar. Childhood joy and sticky fingers.
Omega.
I spin in my chair, wrapping my arms around her waist. I press my cheek against her stomach, trying to burrow into her so I never have to smell anything but her again.
“You’re having a panic attack, Alpha,” she says softly, stroking my messy hair. “Just take some deep breaths.”
I do, counting to five on the inhale and five on the exhale. I repeat this pattern three times, then pull back enough to look up at her.
Her expression is a little pinched, her eyes crinkled with worry.
For me? Is that worry for me?
Eventually, I disentangle myself, allowing her to move to the other side of the table and retake her seat.
“Hi.” My voice is a little shaky. “I’m glad to see you again.”
“Hi, Maverick.” She grabs the straw paper I left on the table and twists it in her hands. “Look, about Prism…”
“Why did you pretend?” I rush to say. “I know you know we’re scent matches.”
She shushes me and looks around in fear. Quietly, she slides her phone across the table. “Give me your number.”
It’s a strange request, but I comply and return the phone to her. She immediately turns her attention to it, her fingers flying across the screen.
My phone buzzes in my pocket.
Unknown
It’s not safe, Maverick. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to lie to you, but you can’t go back to Prism. It’s not a safe place, and I can’t let you get hurt. I’m sorry, but I can’t be your Omega.
My heart clenches in my chest, and I look up to her pleading, desperate eyes. I can see so many emotions flashing across her face, and she chews on her lip.
“I-”
“Phone.” She interrupts me before I can say anything.
As I type out my response, I’m actually kind of grateful that I can re-read and rewrite things to make sure they sound good before I send them.
I know you’re the Queen. You told me as much. I know what that means. Why can’t I decide if you’re worth the risk? Why do you get to make that decision for both of us?
Her brow crinkles as she stares at the phone. Her nose wrinkles when she starts to type, and she chews on her lip.
It’s so fucking cute.
I can’t live with that on my conscience. I can barely keep myself safe. I can’t be responsible for your safety, too.
You’re so handsome and seem like a lot of fun, but you deserve better than I can give you.
Anyone who is close to me is at risk. Especially Alphas.
Is this because of Kieran Cobb?
She drops her phone, and I see real, honest fear in her eyes. Her mouth gapes a little. I think she’s about to say something out loud before her fingers nearly blur as they fly across her screen.
I don’t know who you’re working for or what you know but I can’t do this.
My family comes first, and being with you means they are no longer safe.
I don’t know what you know about Kieran, and I don’t really care. You’ll never get me to talk.
I’m going to leave now. Please don’t follow me.
She pushes her chair back and stalks out the door.
Ask my parents and any teacher I’ve ever had - I’m not good at following directions.
I pull several bills from my wallet and put them on the table, darting after the flighty Omega. It only takes me a moment to catch up to her at a crosswalk.
“Please,” I beg. Even I can hear the desperation in my voice. “Don’t do this to me again. Please.”
“What part of unsafe do you not understand?” She whirls around and pokes me in the chest after ripping her arm out of my hand.
I didn’t realize I grabbed her.
“You could die, Maverick,” she hisses, eyes darting all around. “Don’t you fucking get it? I’m trying to save you!”
“Is it worth being saved if half of my soul is missing?”
Crystal, Queenie, my Omega, stares at me as if I spouted theoretical physics. As if she can’t even begin to understand the words that came out of my mouth.
I link her fingers with mine and tug her away from the crosswalk. She comes with me as if in a trance. I duck down an alley with her before I speak again.
“When you rejected me, it felt like I was being split in two. I can’t feel that way again. My life isn’t worth living if it comes with the pain of being without you. So if you’re going to reject me, reject me because you don’t want me, not because you’re planning on martyring yourself to keep me safe.” I press my body against hers, backing her into the brick wall. She inhales sharply as I press myself to her front.
“Because if the only reason you’re rejecting me is to keep me safe from someone, then I will probably do something ill-advised and try to remove that obstacle that keeps us apart.” I bury my face in her neck, inhaling deeply, allowing her sticky, sweet scent to calm down the Alpha instincts that demand me to protect and claim. “So reject me, Crystal. Reject me for real. Or let me decide what risks I’m willing to take to be by your side.”