Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
I met another scent match. I’m not sure how you feel about having a pack, but it looks like we’ve got one.
I stare at the text to Emmanuel again. I sent it an hour ago, and he still hasn’t responded.
What if he’s upset? What if he doesn’t want to share me?
Would the pack bond be enough to convince these two Alphas to get along and share me?
As I process more test results, catalog and organize them the way Walter likes, I find myself drifting into my fantasies.
Visions of me, Emmanuel, and Maverick laughing as we chase Hannah around an open backyard with a tire swing. Emmanuel’s long, delicate fingers running through my hair as I sit between his knees. Maverick, throwing me over his shoulder, and being chased by Gage.
I fumble with the papers in my hands.
Where did Gage come from in that daydream?
Sure, we’ve shared some-okay, many-texts since we exchanged numbers, but it hasn’t been anything serious. At least, not serious enough for him to start to invade my fantasies.
And yet, he was there.
I think he would fit in with the Alphas. It would be hard for anyone to dislike the Beta, and his energy would meld well with Maverick’s.
Heat pools between my thighs as I think about the two of them surrounding me in my nest, treating me like prey. Maverick would say some stupid quip, Gage would make a bizarre joke, and we’d all fall into a fit of giggles before we kissed, stroked, and licked each other’s bodies.
But I have two Alphas. I can’t just go and pick up a Beta. That’s not what’s done anymore. Betas aren’t parts of packs anymore. Alphas don’t like to share their Omegas.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, making my heart stop. I reach into my pocket, expecting to see an upset message from Emmanuel.
Except, that’s not what I find.
Gage
Okay, look, I’m not trying to make everything weird
Because I really enjoy chatting with you
And tattooing you
But like, there’s something here, right?
I mean, ignore me, or send a weird emoji or something if I’m way off base here.
I bet I’m just as surprised as you are that I’m doing this
I don’t even allow myself to entertain the idea of being with an Omega.
And you have an Alpha now
I’m reading the texts in real time, feeling his anxiety through the small screen.
Two Alphas, now, actually
Long story
Wow uh
I think I was hoping I was talking to your pocket and you’d just ignore this and we’d pretend like it never happened
Sorry to disappoint?
I just
Put me out of my misery here, Crys
Tell me there’s nothing, you feel nothing, so I can go cry into Burger while eating a burger
I should tell him there’s nothing. I should let him go. I can’t be greedy and demand a Beta’s attention when everything is still so new with my Alphas.
But I’m starting to realize that I am fucking selfish.
I have spent four years letting my life be ruined to keep those I love safe. Am I supposed to give up on love, too? Am I supposed to allow a psychopathic Alpha to force a bond on me every few months for the rest of my life?
Instinctually, I rub the back of my neck, feeling the twisted, blighted bond that rests below my hairline.
It’s … lighter?
I can’t see it, obviously, but it definitely feels lighter. It doesn’t feel a few weeks old. It feels over a month old.
Could the fizz have burned it off faster?
My mind starts to run with ideas. What if I took enough fizz to burn it off completely and then went into heat with Maverick and Emmanuel and let them claim me? What could Kieran do?
Oh.
He could fucking murder them, that’s what.
My phone buzzes in my hand, and I swear.
I left Gage hanging.
Heard. Sorry, Crys, I didn’t mean to make this weird
Well I mean
I did kind of
I just hoped it wouldn’t end up being weird
You didn’t
My mind ran away from me for a minute there
But you’re not crazy, Gage
There’s something here
But you know … Alphas
So uh
I have to introduce them to each other tonight
What if I just
Throw you in the mix?
What kind of mix are we talking?
Margarita?
Snack?
Party?
I mean you’re all hot as fuck so snack I guess
Rad
I’ll be there
As I stare at Gage’s easy acceptance of meeting two strange Alphas, my mind starts to run away with me again. What will I do if the Alphas refuse to entertain the idea of a Beta being a part of things?
Is it too soon to introduce him? We’ve never even had a date. But I’d need to talk to the Alphas about it anyway because the idea of sneaking around on them makes me feel gross.
So, what were my options? Ignore him, deny the strange chemistry we have, and move on?
I mean, that’s certainly the safe choice.
I’ve suddenly decided to go all in on saying “fuck you” to Kieran’s control, huh? I put every person I talk to and grow close to in danger.
Kieran doesn’t want me to work for him. He wants to own me. To possess me.
And not in the sexy romance novel way, where the morally grey mob boss falls in love with his captive and treats her like a queen while offing anyone who looks at her wrong.
No, he wants to own me like a dog.
He’s collared me before. What’s to stop him from forcing me to live that way?
Every man I look at is at risk of his wrath because you do not covet what belongs to the King. The Queen may look like she has power from the outside, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Behind every king is the woman he shoved there.
I used to think I was strong. I never took any shit from an Alpha.
I know my worth.
I know I deserve happiness.
So yeah, I’m taking a risk, and I need to tell them all just how much of a risk it is to them.
They deserve to know the whole truth.
And maybe they’ll decide that it’s too much.
That I am not worth the potential for catastrophe.
The inevitable heartbreak and destruction.
But maybe, like Maverick, Gage and Emmanuel will be willing to take the risk.
I’m not a terrible person, even though I have had to do things that make me feel awful for Kieran. I am worthy of love.
I deserve a pack. A pack that will care for me and protect me.
Maybe even get me out of this fucking mess that I didn’t create.
My phone buzzes in my hand, jarring me out of my spiral. Emmanuel’s name shows on the banner on my lock screen. I need to tell him about Gage, too. Rip the bandage off.
Emmanuel
Wow, that is some news! I didn’t imagine I would ever meet a pack member. I’m excited to get to know him.
I don’t want to blindside you
But I have a prospective Beta as well
Huh
Alright, then
We’ll figure it out and talk through it, then, yeah?
Yeah.
Are you feeling up to meeting them? How’s your pain?
Try not to talk to me about my pain like I’m a patient, please
I wince. I know there will be a learning curve for me being with someone with chronic pain, especially since I met him in a healthcare setting. I never want him to feel like a patient. But I do want him to know I’m looking out for him. I want to ensure he’s comfortable and give him an out if he needs it.
Before I can tell him that, another message comes in.
I’m sorry. That was unfair of me. I appreciate you thinking about my comfort.
I’m okay with meeting for dinner tonight. I promise to be honest with you when I’m having a bad pain day, okay?
OK. I’m sorry, Alpha. I just didn’t want you to push through pain for me. This isn’t really time sensitive.
I appreciate your care, Omega.
I’ll pick something up and bring it for dinner at your place tonight.
Anything they can’t eat?
Oh one has to eat gluten free
No problem, gluten-free food isn’t an issue
Any other suitors I should be aware of?
Suitors? That word gives me the heebie jeebies lol. No, it’s just the three of you.
Then I’ll see you tonight.
Oh, and Omega?
Yes…?
Thank you for being honest with me.
Well, now I feel like shit for the secrets I’m keeping from him.
With that, my resolve is solidified.
Tonight, I tell my two Alphas and the Beta who has unknowingly helped me heal from my pain for four years the truth.
And I hope they think I’m worth the danger.