Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
Oh boy, this is awkward. But Maverick had the right idea about sitting down to eat to allow us to move through the thick haze of discomfort.
As we sit around the table, Emmanuel opens the styrofoam containers and walks us through the dishes he brought.
“Alright, so my family is from Colombia, and I wanted to introduce you to some of the food,” he says, grabbing a plate and beginning to pile it with food. “This is a bandeja paisa. It’s got chicharrón, which is fried pork belly, steak, rice, beans, chorizo, and egg. I cut up the egg to mix with rice and beans because that’s the best way to eat it.”
The food smells so good, and my mouth is watering. “Oh, and gotta have some avocado and an arepa.” He holds up a golden disk. “It’s made of cornmeal. It’s hard to describe, but it’s so good when it’s drenched in butter. I also got everyone an empanada. Colombian empanadas don’t use the dough you’ve tried before - we use yellow cornmeal instead. So much better.”
He places a plate in front of me, then begins making another. “Pan de bono is a cheese bread, and then I got arepas de choclo, which are sweet corn cakes filled with cheese. My mom made the best arepas, but these are pretty close.”
Eventually, we all have a plate full of food, even though he only had three bandeja paisas. He must read the question on my face. “I know Alphas eat a ton, but these plates are still massive. With everything and the extra chicharron, I knew we’d have no problem splitting three.”
He picks up the chicharron, a long, slightly curled piece of fried pork belly with slices running through it, making it look almost like bicycle spokes. I watch as he grabs one of the spokes and breaks it off the main piece. I follow his lead, popping the fried meat into my mouth.
“Oh fuck,” I say with a groan. “This is so good.”
Emmanuel chuckles, and Maverick dives into his plate across from me. But Gage is staring at his plate, not touching any of it.
“Gage?” I ask as quietly as I can. “What’s wrong? Is it gluten? Should I get you something else to eat?” I move to get up from the table, but he stops me with a little huff of a laugh.
“No, it’s just that I haven’t had Colombian food since I entered foster care,” he says quietly. “Just brings back memories I spent a long time burying.”
“I’m sorry, Hic-Gage,” Emmanuel says gently. “I don’t think either of us could’ve predicted this.”
He nods before picking up the half of the large, sweet arepa on his plate. He takes a bite, a smile ripping across his handsome face. “You’re right. It’s good, but not as good as your mom’s.”
One day, I’ll get more of that story from them. The fact that Gage was in foster care is news to me, but it’s not like I know the Beta very well.
“So you two know each other, then?” Maverick asks, oblivious to the discomfort the two seem to be feeling. “What’s that like?”
Emmanuel clears his throat and puts his fork down. “I was best friends with Gage’s older brother. He was like a little brother to me and another kid to my parents for a few years there.”
Gage nods solemnly but doesn’t look up from his plate. “And then I went into the foster system. I couldn’t contact them anymore. And my brother, Alan, wasn’t the best at keeping in touch either.”
“Is it going to be weird seeing each other’s dicks?” I choke on my bite and smack Maverick across the chest with the back of my hand. He looks at me with wide eyes. “What? Tell me you weren’t thinking about it. I know there are packs with brothers and twins and stuff in them, but I’ve always wondered how that works. I don’t have a brother, but I don’t think I’d be cool seeing his dick if I did have one.”
“I imagine it’ll be strange, but we’ll figure it out for Crystal,” Emmanuel says diplomatically. “But I’m not particularly looking forward to seeing your dick either, Maverick.”
“I have an excellent cock. Just ask our Omega.”
Heat floods my face, and I nearly fall out of my chair, jumping up from the table so fast. “Wow, I could use some more water. Let me go grab the pitcher.”
“She just doesn’t want to admit she fucked me in an alley,” he whispers conspiratorily to the guys. “But it was hot, so it’s fine.”
“This doesn’t feel like an appropriate dinner conversation.” Emmanuel’s tone is firm, setting a boundary I didn’t expect Maverick to need. “Let’s try to keep conversations like this to the nest, yeah?”
I slide back into my chair and take a long drink of water, thankful to the quiet Alpha for putting a stop to the conversation, especially since Gage looks like he wants to melt into his boots.
Maverick leans forward on the table, either not sensing the remaining tension or desiring to break through it. “Sure, sure. Anyways! Our first pack dinner, guys. This is one for the history books! We’ll tell our ki- wait. Are we gonna have kids?” He swings his head toward me.
“I uh…” My face heats. This isn’t a conversation I thought we’d be having tonight. “I don’t particularly want kids, but I know most Alphas…” I trail off.
The Omega Academy made it very clear that Omegas were made for giving birth. Our responsibility was to birth more Alphas and Omegas for this world, especially since Omegas are becoming increasingly rare, even with the Design Clinic intervening.
Now that the laws have been changed to reduce the amount of Design that can be done, it’s even worse.
But I never felt the call to motherhood that other Omegas seem to. I love kids—my niece Hannah has been my whole life since she was born—but I don’t want to be a mother myself.
“That’s fine with me,” Emmanuel says. “I’m nearly forty, and with my migraines, I worry I wouldn’t be a present parent for half the month.”
“Migraines, huh?” Maverick says. “Welcome to the bad brain club, dude!” He holds his hand up for a high five, and Emmanuel hesitantly presses his hand against the other Alpha’s. Maverick turns to Gage. “Your brain broken too?”
“Uh… Maybe? My mom died while I was ten, my brother refused to take me in, and I’ve never known my father. I’m sure that affected something up in the old noggin.” He taps his temple. “Mommy and Daddy issues.”
“Oh, me too,” I interject. “Mine died in a car crash when I was eleven, and my sister raised me.”
“Twins!” Gage shouts, high-fiving me. “Only not because that’d be weird since I want to see you na-”
His face turns bright red, and he dramatically pushes his chair back from the table. Manny tries to smother a laugh but doesn’t do a great job at it, and I have to bite my tongue not to make fun of the Beta’s clumsy jokes.
After a beat, Maverick bursts out laughing. “Well, looks like all of us are just a little bit broken! That can be our pack name. Pack Broken Brain. Pack BB.”
Emmanuel snorts into his glass of water. “Pack BB. I don’t know if we could officially register as Pack Broken Brain.”
His face still red with embarrassment, Gage looks between us with confusion. “I… pack?”
The implication of our conversation smacks me in the chest. We’re sitting here, joking around and talking about our pack like it’s a sure thing, and Gage and I just started interacting outside the tattoo parlor.
“I mean, I know you and Crystal are going to start going on dates or whatever,” Maverick says dismissively, “but let’s be real. No one can resist our dandelion.” He sucks on his teeth as I make a face. “Yeah, that one doesn’t work. Anyways, you’ll be pack one day.”
“Well, let’s not force anything on Gage. We’re just starting to get to know each other,” I say diplomatically. “He needed to meet you both before we could talk about exploring anything and-”
“I would appreciate it if you all wouldn’t talk about this like you’re going to let me join the pack. I know eventually that I’ll be kicked to the curb. I’ve come to terms with it.” Gage folds his napkin and sets it beside his plate. His pretty green eyes meet mine. “Getting to know you will be worth it, Crys.”
“Wait, what?” Maverick drums his fingers on the table. “Why wouldn’t we let you join the pack?”
“Alphas don’t share with a Beta.” His words brook no argument.
Maverick doesn’t get that memo.
“Bullshit. Packs need Betas. This whole notion that our society perpetuates, which suggests that because you can’t be bonded with a bite, you’re not supposed to be part of a pack, is asinine. An Omega needs a Beta for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is to help protect them while in heat from an Alpha whose rut went too far.”
“I agree,” Emmanuel interrupts. “In Colombia, Betas are still cherished members of packs. Some even have two. I don’t understand why our country treats Betas as assistants to the pack. They have just as much of a place in pack life as Omegas and Alphas do. Otherwise, we would not have evolved to have Betas, too.” He reaches across the table to pat the top of Gage’s hand. “We need to see if we all work together as a pack, but don’t go into this with a defeated attitude.”
My stomach churns.
This has all become very serious very quickly. I’m putting them all in danger, and for what? Gage and I don’t have this magical pheromone draw to each other like I have with the Alphas, and he may decide quickly that I’m not worth the effort when he learns about all of the shit I’m involved in.
I’m suddenly feeling very claustrophobic.
What is going on with me?
I went from being adamant about never having or wanting a pack and rejecting and lying to Maverick to inviting three men into my home and preparing to start developing relationships with them.
Selfish.
Selfish.
Selfish.
I push back from the table, interrupting whatever conversation the guys are having, and nearly run out of the room to pile into my nest. They won’t come in here unless invited - I know that much. And maybe here, in my safe place, I can start to understand why my Omega nature is going so haywire.
I need to think about the facts.
Fact one: Maverick and Emmanuel are my scent matches.
Fact two: Maverick knows most of the truth about Prism. Or at least, the risk part of it, and he’s okay with it.
Fact three: I feel a connection I never could’ve expected with Gage, but it would be wiser to let him go entirely.
But I hate that I have had so many choices taken away over the years. I hate having to put my life in someone else’s hands, regardless of what I want.
I can’t take Emmanuel’s and Gage’s choice from them.
If Gage still wants to pursue me and see if he wants to be part of this pack despite everything, shouldn’t I let him?
“Hey, Crys,” Gage’s voice comes from the doorway of my nest. When I look up, I notice it’s just him standing there. Neither of the Alphas came with him.
“Sorry about that,” I say quietly, hiding my body behind a cherry-red pillow. “I had a little freakout.”
“That was the most respectful freakout I’ve ever seen. Did I ever tell you about the woman who came in throwing a fit because I tattooed her kid?”
The tension in my shoulders loosens at just the sound of his voice. It’s always been like this. I’ve gone into his shop in a broken stupor, close to ending it all, and he’s brought me back from the brink.
“No, you didn’t. What happened?”
“Her kid was twenty-two.”
I snort in amusement. “Can you… Can you get the others? I have to tell you all something.”