48. Jordan
Chapter forty-eight
I've barely left my nest in two days. I don't want to talk about this to the guys. My emotions are so chaotic that I cannot explain my feelings to them.
How do I tell them that the thing I asked for for so long suddenly feels like a curse?
When I dreamed about being Omega, I only thought about bonding with my Alphas and living in bliss together, piling up in my nest for heats. I imagined a future where I was the center of a family unit that loved and supported each other in every way. Maybe a few kids, some pets. A big house filled with love and a gorgeous nest that we all struggled to leave. We would be a group of people who would do anything for each other.
But that's what I get for dreaming, huh?
Nothing has gone how I imagined it would.
In some ways, that's been good. I never would've thought to include Icarus in those dreams, and now I couldn't imagine being without his steadfast support and love.
But if these past few days have shown me anything, it's that maybe being an Omega isn't all it's cracked up to me.
"Are you going to be okay here alone?" Cyrus calls through the door.
"Yep, lived alone for a long time," I snap. It's not his fault, but I can't help but be pissed at him. If I had presented earlier, I doubt I would have developed such a robust career. My frustrated brain is blaming the Stargazers all over again for ditching me, as if that would have prevented this specific heartbreak I'm going through.
I know that's unfair, but I can't bring myself to care. I want to wallow.
"Understood. The other guys are out, too, so please text or call if you need anything." He doesn't disrespect me by coming into the nest uninvited, instead speaking to me through the closed door.
I hear him sigh deeply through the wooden door when I don't respond. "I love you, Jordan." His voice is so quiet that if I weren't purposefully trying to hear him, I doubt I would hear him. "We'll figure this out."
Over the next hour, I barely moved, entertaining myself by watching Dae and Blush chase each other around the edge of the nest.
It is truly beautiful in here. Picking out all of the furnishings with the guys was so fun, despite the scare that led to it, but now a bitter taste coats my tongue when I see them.
My phone vibrates in my hand, and a number I don't recognize flashes across the screen.
"Hello?"
"Jordan, it's Julia."
I sink further into the pale grey pillow behind me. "Hey, Julia. What have you got for me?"
"We met with HUG's team. Unfortunately, it's worse than we thought." I can hear the pity in her voice, and my stomach tightens.
"What do you mean?"
"They have documentation from an employee that said since you presented, you've been erratic, forgetting meetings, walking out of appointments, disappearing at all hours of the day, and taking unapproved leave."
My stomach drops out of my ass, and I sit in stunned silence, blinking at the phone in my hand.
What the actual fuck?
"Jordan, are you there?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm here. None of that is true," I insist. "Someone is lying."
"It's not just that. There is a contractor, a model, that filed a formal complaint of unprofessional behavior and claimed that you tried to blacklist him after a failed romantic entanglement."
I swear again, knowing only one model who'd say something like that. "Henrik. That fucking cu-"
Julie interrupts me before I can finish my thought. "I don't have to tell you how these complaints, combined with you not reporting your Omega status, means we can't even get you a severance. They had every right to terminate you."
"But none of it is true! The model had to have been Henrik, and yes, he's my ex, but I never did any of those things." Hot tears form in my eyes, and I fight to contain them. Henrik was an asshole, but I never thought he'd stoop so low as to ruin my career.
"What about the employee? Did you take unapproved leave?" Julia interrupts my spiraling thoughts.
"I filed for heat leave. I gave the documentation to my PA for processing. The only meeting I walked out of was one that Cyrus was in. I had asked my PA to keep the Stargazers away from me, and I was taken aback that he was in the meeting."
"The same PA who was supposed to file your designation change paperwork?"
Julia's words ring in my head, and I nearly drop my phone.
Lanie sabotaged me.
My best friend set me up. How could she do this? Why would she do this?
"Thanks for trying, Julia," I say softly. "Send us your bill. I appreciate what you've done." I don't wait for her to reply before hanging up.
I wish I could be strong enough to seek out Lanie and confront her in person or at least call her. But I'm not.
Why? I thought we were friends.
Lanie
You got everything you ever wanted when you became an Omega.
I figured I should get what I wanted, too.
I stare at that message for longer than I am willing to admit. No apology was offered from my supposed best friend. She took what I had for herself, regardless of how it affected me.
Suddenly, I don't feel like I got everything I ever wanted.
No, I feel like everything has been, like I am, ruined.
I find several lay-flat packing crates in the hall closet just outside my bedroom. Carrying them into the nest, I methodically assemble them and line them up in a neat row.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Working from the top down, I remove my fairy lights and curtains, folding them gently and placing them in the first crate. Already, the room looks less appealing.
Next, I gather up all of the pillows, candles, and loose furnishings. Each item holds a memory of me and my pack picking them out together, of their excitement when they first saw my nest after it was built.
These memories also get packed away, nearly overflowing the second black crate. I have to sit on the yellow lid to get it to snap in place.
Next, I strip the recessed mattress of all its linens.
I should wash them before I pack them away.
I stand in front of the washer and watch the numbers on the front tick down as it completes its cycle. Dae and Blush circle my feet, the orange one screeching for food. Even though it's not mealtime, I scoop a little kibble into their bowls to stop the racket as I watch the sheets tumble in the dryer.
I'm not sure how long a dry cycle is, but eventually, the dryer chimes a melodic little tune, alerting me to its completion.
The linens are warm as I pull them out and fold them. Did I stand there for an entire cycle and watch them wash and dry?
No matter now.
After packing the linens and filling the third crate, I empty my drawers of all the clothing we bought at Omegamart and the soft things Icarus has picked up for me over the past few months and fill the last crate.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Everything I wanted stacked outside the front door.
My designation as a four-act tragedy.
I'll need to schedule a pickup from the Omega's shelter for all these things.
I won't need them anymore.
One last pass-through of the nesting room reveals the teddy bear with the maroon bow Rafe got me. It stares at me in judgment from the side of the room where I tossed it when I stripped the mattress.
That bear wasn't given to Jordan Cross. It was given to Jordan the Omega.
I box him away as well.