12. Nora
12
Nora
"She does displease me."
"You're all just thinking with your knots."
"…get rid of her."
The words circle me like water in the drain, wrapping around me in a cocoon of shame.
I should've never whined.
Mother warned me this would happen. "No pack wants a wanton Omega," she'd tell me.
Well, at least here, in the shower, I can whine my distress.
It's steady, a constant sound that escapes my throat. I've decided that I don't need to count the strands of hair I remove at a time. I think the fact that I displeased my Alpha, my Alpha who won't even scent me because I am so repulsive, so unworthy of his affection, is a sign that I deserve to feel as much pain as I can get.
The chunk of hair is stuck to my fingers, so I gingerly remove it and create a small pile on the floor of the shower beside my feet. I make a mental note to throw it away when I leave the shower.
I'm not sure how long I've been here, but I am grateful that the home seems to have a lot of hot water. The temperature is as high as it goes, and my skin is becoming a deeper shade of pink, but I can't leave. I'm still not clean. I'm still repulsive.
"Omega!" A bark shatters the white noise of the shower.
My body tightens, and I freeze, locked in a ball. I can't move, can't escape, and I certainly can't stop crying. I'm still sobbing into my knees when I feel arms wrap around me, one going under my legs.
"No! No!" I scream, thrashing my body. "Put me down, please, you can't touch me, I'm repulsive."
The hands immediately disappear, and I can't bring myself to look up at the face of an Alpha with whom I undoubtedly displeased.
"Omega," comes the voice again, still with a bark but less aggressive this time. I don't know why, but my brain cannot process which Alpha is speaking to me. "Please come out and talk to us."
"Not clean yet," I whisper, shaking my head. "Repulsive. Apologies, Alpha, I understand I have displeased you, and I am," I hiccup a sob, "so so sorry that you have been saddled with me."
"Little bird, no one is displeased." That's Joey. I breathe a little better now that I recognize my Beta's voice, but the tears won't stop.
"That's not true, Just Joey. I heard Alpha Chase confiding in Alpha Nolan." I push myself back into the water, burying my left hand in my hair.
"Omega!" A bark comes again. "Let go of your hair." Why do all the Alphas sound the same right now? Is it just one, or a different one each time? I unweave my hands from my hair, happy to be given a command I can obey. "I'm going to bring you out now." The Alpha says again.
"No!" I screech, backing against the far wall, finally looking up to see Nolan approaching me gingerly. "No, no, no. You can't, I can't," I beg.
I whine.
Nolan stiffens and reaches over me to turn off the shower. "Okay, Omega, you can stay here, but I'm going to turn off the water, okay?"
"Repulsive, I'm repulsive. Please, let me get clean." I bow my head to the shower floor, my forehead close to his feet. "Please, Alpha. Please just let me get clean."
Maybe if I get clean enough, Alpha Chase will scent me.
Blaine pushes his way into the shower, his face stricken and his eyes red. He sits down on the wet floor beside me, but he doesn't touch me. He just purrs.
He purrs loudly and tenderly and reaches his hand out to me. "Can I hold your hand, Omega?"
"Haven't earned it, Alpha," I whisper.
"Who decides if you earn it, Omega?"
"My Alphas."
Blaine grabs me then, pulling me into his lap. "You've earned it, Omega. I'm proud to call you mine."
Nolan sits down next to us and puts his hand on my back, purring as well. The tears are slowing down from my eyes, and with the water off and the steam clearing, I can get a view of the rest of my pack standing in the bathroom.
Joey is openly crying, his face ruddy and his eyes swollen. I can't tell why he is so upset. I hope I did not hurt him. He doesn't wipe his tears, he just watches me as they fall down his cheeks.
Levi is on the floor, his hands threaded in his hair, pulling it out at odd angles. He's rocking back and forth, his breathing ragged. I think he needs me to purr for him. He looks so distressed. I try to move and go soothe him, but Blaine tightens his grip on me, his face buried in the crook of my neck.
Chase is here, too, and it hurts to see him, knowing how much I've displeased him. His face is blank, devoid of expression, but he's wrenching his fingers together repeatedly.
"Omega," Nolan says gently, his purr still going, his hand still on my back. "Can we take you to the nest?"
I whine again, burying myself in Blaine's chest. "I'm sorry for whining, Alpha, I'm trying really hard to get it under control, I promise." Blaine swears, and I try to pull away. "I'm so sorry I've upset you, Alpha."
"You haven't upset me, little Omega," he says, his voice thick. "I'd like to take you to the nest now. That would make me very happy."
He stands up, cradling me in his arms. When we exit the shower, Joey wraps a thick, white towel around me. "Little bird," he says softly. "Let's not get your nest wet, okay? You worked so hard on it." Blaine puts me down and spins me to face Just Joey. "I'm going to give you my shirt to wear, okay, little bird?"
"Okay, Just Joey," I whisper, looking at my feet.
"Do you want help changing?" he asks quietly. "We can help and close our eyes, okay?"
"If my Alphas wish to see me, it is their prerogative."
A growl comes from someone behind me, and I jump, tumbling into Joey's chest.
"Okay, birdie. I'm going to help you change, and the Alphas are going to wait for you in the nest, okay?" He stresses that last word, but I don't think it's for me. Joey strips off his black shirt. When did he change? The last time I saw him, he was still in his sleep clothes. He stands before me, bare-chested in a pair of faded jeans. His torso is covered in tattoos and hair, and his stomach is large and soft. I can't stop myself from running my hand over him. He chuckles.
"I didn't know tattoos just felt like skin."
"That they do, little bird." He takes the towel from me and pushes my arms above my head, gently peeling the wet smiley face top off of my body. He slips the shorts down my hips and swears. "Can one of you grab her a pair of boxers?" he calls out into the nest. Surprisingly quickly, a pair of blue plaid boxers get tossed into the room. "I'm going to take your underwear off, little bird, but my eyes are closed, okay?"
"Okay," I whisper, moving slightly as he slides the wet panties down my legs. I step into the boxers, and he pulls them up, settling them on my hips. They're a little large, but with a roll of the waistband, they fit okay.
"Alright, just going to take your bra off, too, okay? It would make the shirt all wet." He moves behind me and unclasps the bra. I let it fall to the floor and raise my arms for him to feed the black shirt over my head. He spins me around. "There you are, little bird. Nice and dry. Let's go to the nest now, okay?"
Joey takes my hand and leads me into the nest, where all four Alphas are sitting along the edge of the recessed pit, waiting for me to formally invite them down into the nest proper. The pit was filled with only a bare round mattress when I got here yesterday, but now it is filled with all of the wonderful things they bought me yesterday that I do not deserve.
Joey steps down into the nest with me, having already received an invitation last night, and settles me down next to him. "Invite them in," he whispers in my ear.
"Alphas," I say, trying to make my voice strong, "would you like to join me in my nest?"
"I'd love to, sweetie," Nolan says, settling himself in front of me. Blaine sits on my left and Levi and Chase flank Nolan. They're all looking directly at me, and I'm not sure what to say.
"Thank you so much for all the lovely things for my nest," I say quietly. I don't know how to address my shortcomings. What I don't understand is why they aren't more upset with me for my unfortunate display of emotion.
"That's what we're going with?" Chase says, his voice gruff and punishing. The absolutely venomous look on his face sets off my whine again, and Blaine grabs me and pulls me into his purring chest.
"Out, Chase," Nolan barks.
"What the fuck?" Chase says, standing. "This little bitch manipulates all of you, and you're going to throw me out?"
"Get the fuck out of the nest, Chase," Blaine growls from behind me. I whine louder at his growl, and he strokes his hand down my hair. "You heard her in there. This is on you, Chase. You did this."
He laughs bitterly. "On me? It's on all of you for welcoming this fucking con artist into our home. You'll all feel like fucking idiots when you find out who she really is."
I look up from Blaine's chest, struggling to make eye contact with Chase. The look on his face makes me want to bow my head, but I need him to see in my eyes just how sorry I am. I try to crawl to him, to beg for his forgiveness for whatever it is that I have done to upset him, but Blaine bands his arms about me tightly, holding me back.
I beg with my words since my body is restrained. "I am so, incredibly sorry I have displeased you, Alpha Chase. I know that is why you don't want to scent me. I understand that you find me repulsive, and I am not what you are looking for in an Omega, but I promise I can get better and try to be what you want. Just please tell me what you need from me, and I'll do it." Tears well up in my eyes again, but I still don't break eye contact. Chase is looking at me like he hates me, like nothing I say could ever fix the damage I have caused. I just hope he'll let me try. "Please, Alpha, just let me know what parts of me you find distasteful so I can rid myself of them."
"Get the fuck out, Chase. Now." Nolan's words brook no compromise and give the other Alpha no time to respond to my plea. Chase scoffs and stomps out of the room, and with him, my tears fall heavily again.
What did I do that upset him so much?
My mother is going to be so disappointed in me.
"Omega," Levi says, his voice hoarse. "You're such a good Omega. You're everything I could hope for."
When we make eye contact, his face is just as wet as mine. He's taken his glasses off, clutching them in his hands. "You're pleased?" I ask quietly.
"So, so pleased," he chokes out. He reaches for my hand and grips it tightly. "Thank you, Omega."
Nolan rubs his hand up my calves, his purr still loud and clear. "You're a great Omega, and we are lucky to have you, sweetie."
"Thank you, Alpha."
"Little bird, I know you're not my Omega because I'm not your Alpha, but I am so happy you're here." Joey's deep voice rumbles me, not unlike a purr, and he weaves his fingers through my hair.
I lean into his touch, letting the soft circle motion they make soothe the inflamed skin. "I'm happy you're here too, Just Joey." He chuckles quietly.
"Nora," Blaine says, his face so close to mine. "I want you to know that it doesn't displease me when you apologize for whining or anything else. I don't think anything you do could displease me."
"Thank you for saying that, Alpha Blaine," I whisper into his chest.
"I want you to know that you've earned my affection just from being here, okay? Waking up in this house every morning is how you earn my affection each day. So as long as you wake up here, you can get as much affection from me as you need, honey." His words wrap around me like a warm blanket, the defined parameters of which I can earn affection singing to a part of my brain that craves order and structure.
Nolan wedges himself next to Blaine so he can make eye contact with me. "That goes for all of us, okay? Nod your head, tell me you understand." I nod, a weak smile playing on my lips. "We're going to talk about all of this soon, but I want you to take a nap first, okay? We'll talk through it later."
"Yes, Alpha."