35. Nora
35
Nora
They're looking at me like I am broken.
Maybe I am broken.
They're looking at me like they care.
Are they telling the truth?
Is this another lie in the long line of them my mother and Dr. Greene spewed?
But that doesn't explain why I never heard the men outside of the house.
"What happened when they moved you into his place, Nora?" Levi asks so softly that I wonder if this is the first time he's asked. Maybe I am not listening well.
Another broken part of me.
"There's no need to talk about that unpleasantness," I say, easily letting the Perfect Omega take control. It's easier and safer this way. I know what happens when I let that other voice out.
Nothing but unpleasantness.
"You cried when I was touching you, Omega," Chase says, sitting beside me on the leather couch. I suppose he's done with giving me space. It is his prerogative as an Alpha, I suppose.
"You should know as well as anyone that I am prone to fits of hysteria." For some reason, Chase growls, his fingers pulling roughly through the bleached tips of his hair.
Joey paces around the small room, and I take the place they brought me in as I watch him. The walls are a standard grey that seems to come in every new home lately, with fake wood flooring and black hardware throughout.
It's cold and clearly a place where no one stays regularly. Even the furniture lacks warmth. There aren't even any blankets thrown over the back of the couch.
Nolan does what he does best and attempts to take charge of the situation. "Blaine, Levi, go get the bags and groceries from the car. Joey, let's me and you check the house and find the most defensible spot in case they try to come in and take her during the night."
The men all go off on their little missions while I sit here with Chase staring a hole into the side of my face.
"Do you know why I took you to the restaurant that day?" He asks out of the blue.
"I just figured you set it up with Mother and Dr. Greene," I snap. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me."
He doesn't acknowledge my words. "I added a new dessert to Bea's menu about a month ago. Actually, its first day on the menu was the day we were there." He's looking at his hands, wringing them together. He looks almost nervous. "It was a strawberry shortcake, but the shortcake was modeled after and inspired by a lemon bar." I inhale sharply at the implication. "I named it The Perfect Dessert."
Slowly, Chase drags his head up to look at me. I'm struck by the sharp contrast between how I feel like I've been shoved into a suit I'll never be free of and how Chase looks like he's finally removed his own for the first time.
"I never wanted you to go, Nora. Even when I said I did, I don't think I really meant it."
He grabs me around the waist and hauls me into his lap once more. His tattooed fingers press into my hips through my dress. Every visible bit of skin except for his face is tattooed. I remember touching Joey's and being surprised they just felt like skin. With Chase, I'm surprised his tattoos don't come to life with their vibrant colors and twisting shapes.
He pulls my attention to him, and for the first time, I really feel like I have seen the real Chase. For the first time, he's not hiding behind a tough demeanor.
"I want you to be my Omega, Nora. Please, please, tell me you'll be my Omega," he whispers reverently.
His hand slips up my cheek, and he pulls my face to his. Slowly, gently, he kisses me with a softness I never could've expected from this gruff, grumpy Alpha.
Kissing him awakens a part of me that has been quiet for weeks, and I whine, wiggling myself deeper into his lap.
"Omega," Chase says, nipping my bottom lip. "Say you're mine."
I kiss him, pushing my tongue in his mouth and tasting him. Savoring him.
"Omega," Chase says with a small bark. "Say you're mine."
"Tell me you're mine first," I beg first. I need him to be mine so I can be his, and he can keep me safe. I need to know he wants me despite everything.
"I'm yours, Nora," he says quickly. "No hesitation. I'm yours. Please be mine."
"I'm yours, Chase."
The pack unloads everything, including a few items from my nest. As much as I don't want to show them how much I need them, I take the items greedily. I need something of comfort right now. Kissing Chase, pledging myself to him, isn't enough for my body to feel safe.
One of the rooms has a massive bed in it, and I crawl into it with my lemon yellow blanket, stuffed bird, and the tattoo pattern blanket Chase gave me the day I was taken from them.
As soon as I saw my comfort items, I requested some time on my own, and they graciously gave me that, though I could tell it killed them. Just outside the door, I can hear a whispered argument about who is going to come in here and tell me it's dinner time.
Curled up in a ball and hidden under the blankets, I hear the door open and steel myself for the touch that is bound to come. The bed bounces beneath me. "Honey," Blaine says, his voice thick with emotion. "Do you want to come out and grab a bite to eat?"
I pull the blanket down from my face a little, letting my eyes poke out to meet his. Their dark chocolate color reminds me of brownie batter when you're just beginning to combine all the ingredients.
"I was given lunch before the interview today, I'm fine," I reply, covering my face again.
His voice sounds slightly muffled, and the blankets covering my face make it sound even quieter, to the point where I strain to hear him. "That's not enough food for the day. Please, just come out and eat with us. We miss you."
And though I promised Chase that I was his and he was mine, they don't feel like my Alphas anymore. I want to yell at them and hit them in their chests that they didn't fight hard enough for me when I don't even know what they did.
I haven't let them tell me.
I haven't told them what it was like for me.
"If you change your mind," Blaine says quietly, getting off the bed. "We brought you something comfortable to change into."
I hear the door close behind him and the whispered questions from the pack as he enters the hallway. I slip out of the blankets and look at the bag Blaine left on the floor. Inside are several pairs of clothes, but on top is the smiley face lounge set Levi picked out for me on the first day.
It's easy to slip back into the routine of breaking my mold when it comes to these clothes. They are so comfortable, and I know what the pack meant when they picked them out for me. Maybe I can allow myself this.
That would be okay, right?
I change and crawl back into bed, hiding under my blanket once more. I don't think I have the effort to tell them thank you.
"Nora, sweetie, you have to eat," comes Nolan's voice. They let me sleep all night, but since then, every two hours, one of them has been in here trying to get me out of bed.
"Not hungry," I reply, not even bothering to lower the blanket. "I know what to do when I am." I'm vaguely aware that I'm being rude and snarky, but I can't help it. I am just so tired.
"Well, I've left some water on the side table. Please, at least drink that," he says sadly, and I feel his weight leave the bed.
The door clicks open, but I don't hear the sound of it closing. I peek over the top of my blanket and notice that it's open, just a sliver – like Nolan didn't pull it as hard as he meant to.
Voices float into the room.
"Something is wrong. Why isn't she talking to us?" That's Joey's voice.
"We don't know what happened while they had her. She lived with that doctor for over a week. She's traumatized," Blaine responds.
"I should call my father," Levi says softly. "Maybe he could help?"
"Or we could give her the space she's so clearly asking for." Chase's voice is rough. "She knows how much we care, she'll come to us when she's ready."
"That's easy for you to say," Nolan snaps. "The rest of us didn't have that opportunity to clear the air."
"The rest of you weren't there when she was taken. The rest of you didn't bring her back!" His voice is raised and aggressive as he growls, "You didn't see firsthand what was happening. I did. I did, and I couldn't stop it." His voice cracks, the volume dropping as he chokes up with tears. "I couldn't let her go one more second thinking I caused that. That I sold her out."
"I'm sure she never thought -" Levi begins.
"You all did. If my own packmates, who have been with me for a decade, thought I sold her out, what could she have possibly thought?" His stomps are hurried now. He's pacing. I can just picture him pulling at his bleached hair. "I saw him on the television with her, saw how blank her eyes looked, and I snapped. I just couldn't leave her with him."
"We were trying to figure out a way to do it legally, we were going to call Alicia when the commotion went down. But we're glad you got her out when you did," Nolan tells him.
They continue talking, making plans to get me out of my head and to get me to eat and shower, but I tune them out.
If they knew who I was now, what he did to me, they would not take me back.
I'm ruined.