Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
The man in the lab coat, whom I refuse to call a doctor because doctors swear to do no harm, and I won’t put him in the same category as my brother, unhooks me from the machine.
The wires and tubes that have stolen my blood and then put it back live in my nightmares.
I spend all day waiting for them to bring me into this room, strap me to the table, and hook me up to the machines, and then when I sleep, I see the wires tightening around my ankles and wrists before wrapping around my throat and slowly choking the life out of me.
They don’t let us walk to or from the room. I couldn’t run away even if I wanted to at this point.
I’m exhausted, but not nearly as bad as Ethel. She’s showing the effects of her time here now. Her dark skin has a grey hue to it, and her lips are cracking like she’s dehydrated.
We don’t get water, but they give us hydration IVs during our treatments. Which means she doesn’t get nearly as much as I do, since they only take her away once a day.
Whatever they’re doing to Ethel seems way worse than what they’re doing with me.
“Hey, sweetie. Welcome back,” she says, before falling into a coughing fit. “You were gone for a while this time.”
“I think I blacked out during most of it,” I tell her, trying to get comfortable in my cage. “It burned this time.”
She hums softly under her breath. “Mine’s hurting more, too. Call me crazy, but I don’t think that’s a good thing.”
My laugh huffs out of me. It feels strange to laugh in this place where so many horrors are happening. “No, I doubt it is. Would a distraction help?”
“You’re welcome to try.”
I pull my knees to my chest and lean against the side closest to her. I wish I could touch her. I think we could both use a bit of comfort right about now. She’s so close, but still out of reach. “Do you know the sports channel, ABOSS?”
“Yeah, of course. Everyone does.” She sounds so tired.
“Have you ever watched Sin Bin?”
“Do I look like a sports person?”
I shake my head, my dirty, knotted hair falling into my face.
“I guess not. Well, I work on that show. My brother-in-law, Cyrus Knight, is one of the hosts. He’s a nice guy, but a little thick-headed.
He and his pack brothers had rejected my sister-in-law, but he discovered she was his scent match and was trying to get her back.
So he went on air, and confessed his feelings… ”
“No, this isn’t normal,” an unfamiliar voice says. “I’ve seen something like it a few times, but not this bad.”
“I’m going to call Icarus.” I know that one, and it has me whipping my eyes open.
“Jordan?”
My red-haired sister-in-law drops to her knees in front of me. “I’m sorry I’m in your nest. Atlas invited me in. We’re worried about you.”
“What’s the big deal?” My chest hurts, my bond with Atlas throbbing with stress. I look around, eventually finding him standing next to a familiar-looking man with long hair and a worried expression. “I was sleeping.”
“You were not sleeping,” the strange man says. “You were dissociating.”
I look at Atlas, reaching out for him. “Atlas… who’s this?” He’s an Omega, and while I’m okay with Jordan being here, I don’t want this strange Omega in my nest.
Even if I haven’t set it up yet.
“I’m sorry, Goddess,” Atlas says, dropping beside me and pulling me into his arms. “This is Will. He’s my best friend and Wyatt’s brother. He’s an Omega and… well, he’s gone through something similar to what we did.”
Jordan strokes the back of my head, purring softly. “Wyatt called us in. Your Alphas thought we could use some time to talk, if you’re up for it.”
I wiggle around in Atlas’s arms so I can look at my sister-in-law and Wyatt’s brother. “About what?”
“About everything. You’re a new Omega. It will take some time to adjust. I know what it’s like to have your world upended by a designation change more than anyone,” she says with a wry smile.
Will lowers himself down onto the plush mattress and wraps his arms around his knees. “And I was trafficked.”
My stomach bottoms out. I’ve never heard anyone talk about a traumatic experience so candidly. Is what happened to me considered trafficking?
I think Will realizes how shocked I am, and he shrugs.
“I have to say it plainly. I work with Omegas who have been through the same thing, and putting a name to what happened to us is the first thing I teach them. If we use euphemisms or talk around the issue, how can we expect to get better? You and Atlas were trafficked, Athena. Even though you didn’t change hands, medical trafficking is a thing.
You were going to be given to someone else eventually. ”
“Stop it,” Atlas begs. “You’re going to upset her.”
“She’s not a child!” Will snaps. “You cannot infantilize her just because she’s an Omega. Sorry, Atlas, but this is my area of expertise, and you’re not a member of Lupine in this situation. You’re a victim.”
“Don’t call me that!” My Omega’s lip curls, and he glares at his friend. “I am not a victim.”
“Victim isn’t a dirty word!” the other Omega admonishes him. “And when you act like it is, you’re insulting not only yourself but me and every other person who has struggled to survive the shit monsters have put us through!”
Atlas looks shellshocked, like he’s seeing his friend in a new light.
“Something happened to you, and it fucking sucks. I know that. But ignoring or downplaying it won’t help anyone.” Wyatt’s brother rubs his face in frustration. “Maybe you should trust that I know a little more about recovering from being trafficked than you do, Atlas.”
“I may not have gone through what either of you did,” Jordan says, inserting herself into the conversation, “but I became an Omega as an adult. I think the four of us can work together to get you both acclimated to your new reality.”
I can feel how uncomfortable Atlas is with this situation, but I can’t help but feel relieved that they’re both here. This isn’t going away, and though it isn’t what I wanted out of my life, it’s what I’ve got, and I need to learn how to function as an Omega.
“Okay.” My voice is small, but I hope I sound stronger than I feel. “I think that’s a good idea.”
“You do?” Atlas asks, sounding shocked. “You want to go to Omega boot camp?”
Jordan chuckles and rolls her eyes. “It’s hardly going to be a boot camp. More like a reality check about what your life is going to be like now.”
“Exactly. A lesson in how to get over yourself and embrace your new reality. You need to know what to expect with your hormones, instincts, and going into heat, but we also need to talk about the lasting psychological effects of the trauma you went through,” Will adds.
“Can’t Icarus do that?” I ask Jordan.
She shakes her head. “No, he’s not a trauma specialist, you know that. But he wants to be involved in the more clinical aspects of it all. But first, how are you feeling about everything? Are you okay with us being in your nest?”
“It’s not much of a nest yet,” I say, inexplicably sad that I haven’t set up the nesting things we picked out.
Will’s eyes are sad as he looks at me and Atlas, tangled together.
“That’s problem number one. You two are ignoring your most basic instincts.
I know you want to nest.” Atlas goes to dissent, body tense and vibrating behind me, but Will cuts him off with a glare.
“Don’t you dare, Atlas. I’m ignoring the fact that you concealed from me that you hooked up with my brother and that he’s a part of your pack.
To thank me for my restraint, you’re going to listen to me, okay? ”
Atlas grumbles, but doesn’t interrupt again.
“I love nesting,” Jordan says, leaning back on her hands.
“I had one from the time I was a kid. But I knew I was an Omega, and you’ve never had those instincts before.
Having a nest is crucial for you and your pack.
It’s a place where you can retreat to feel safe, and where you’ll all come together as a family. ”
“It’s also the first thing that we have the Omegas that come through the rehab clinic do, because a part of them, deep down, feels like they don’t deserve a nest. That they’re broken, or defective, because of what happened.
” Will looks pointedly at Atlas. “But they’re wrong.
Every Omega deserves a nest. Even if they’re different from others. ”
He’s talking to Atlas, but the words hit me solidly in the chest.
I always wanted an Omega. Someone to love, and pamper, and cuddle up with at night. I wanted to worship them, to shower them with all the affection I could.
I know I can be an Omega for Atlas, but what if I can’t be for the Alphas? What if I’m not what they need?
“What if they don’t want us?” I ask softly. “What if we try to be their Omegas and they find us lacking? We can’t smell them, and they can’t smell us unless we’re together. We’re already broken.”
“Yeah, what if?” Atlas says, finally showing his vulnerability. “What if we accept that we’re Omegas, that they’re our pack, and then they give up on us? Decide that we’re not worth the hassle?”
“Respectfully,” Jordan says, turning to my Omega, “I don’t know you, Atlas, but even I can say that the idea that Pack Lupine would find you two anything less than a blessing is complete and utter bullshit.”
“You wouldn’t be here if they didn’t want you, and you know it, Atlas,” Will adds. “We both know they have plenty of places that they could have put you if they didn’t want you.”
I’m feeling a little dizzy. Maybe it’s lingering side effects from the experimentation, a bone-deep exhaustion I cannot shake. Still, vertigo has me gripping the sheets beneath me, feeling like I’m about to faceplant into the soft surface of the nest.
Atlas senses my discomfort and squeezes my hands. “Athena?” he says quietly. “Are you okay?”
I shake my head. “No,” I manage to say, losing the battle with gravity and slumping down. “I… something is wrong.”
Atlas is about to say something when his eyes gloss over, and his hands slacken in mine. “Something’s wrong.”