Chapter 30
THIRTY
I lay Athena down on my bed and climb in with her after kicking my boots off. I may live at the pack house, but I have a bunk at the compound because of my status in the Hawks, and I’ve never been as glad for it as I am now.
Fucking Atlas.
I can’t say I’d be happy waking up as an Omega, but does he not realize that the way he’s behaving is hurting his Omega?
He’s done nothing but make being an Omega out to be the worst thing in the fucking world, which is obviously weighing on Athena.
She’s been doing her best, despite everything, to come into her designation, and I can see that she wants to embrace some of her instincts.
But his attitude is stopping her, because she doesn’t want to upset him.
Because her loyalty is to him over us.
And I get it. I do. She barely knows us. But she will never get to if shit continues like it has been.
I don’t enjoy taking my shirt off, not since the accident. It’s not that I’m ashamed of my body. I know what my fucking face looks like. But something about the bare, soft flesh of my chest and the way it contrasts with my face, neck, and shoulder is so jarring that it’s hard to look at.
When I wrecked, most of my torso avoided getting the same treatment my face did since I was wearing a thick jacket and a few layers. Skin grafts were taken from my thighs to help fix the worst parts of it, but some of it had to heal on its own. Not all of my face was suitable for a graft.
I hate to admit it, but I’m a keep the shirt on during sex kind of guy. If I fuck with the lights on, I mean.
Despite my reservations, I yank my shirt off, knowing deep in my gut that Athena needs skin-to-skin contact with me.
I’ve never spent much time with Omegas outside of helping during a few heats for Omegas in the Hawks. Not all Omegas want to pack up, especially those who join our midst, as they tend to be fleeing something or someone, but they still need help through their heats.
However, it’s not like I know how to take care of an Omega just because I know how to knot one.
As I pull Athena against me, my eyes drop to the scar on her chest that peeks out of her blouse.
Scars tell a story. That’s what I’ve heard my whole life. Badges of honor. External marks that show the hardships you survived.
I wish her skin were flawless.
Not because I find scars unattractive, which would be rich coming from me, but because I wish she had had the easiest life imaginable. I wish she had never known a day of pain.
But then she wouldn’t be who she is now. Pain brought her to me, and so I will guide her through it now.
A purr rolls in my chest, and I close my eyes, imagining what it would be like if I could scent her without Atlas present. Is she the marshmallow or the campfire smoke?
Stupid question. She’s easily the marshmallow. Atlas is nothing if not combustible.
Fucking Atlas.
Fucking handsome, petulant asshole. Maybe it’s wrong of me, but I want to get my hands on him, to show him he can submit and still be strong.
Because I know that is his main issue with being an Omega. He doesn’t want to submit to anyone, much less me or the guys. We’ve always been equals, and now he feels like his designation is going to make him bend over for us, and he doesn’t want our dynamic to change.
He needs to realize that there is power in submission. That’s the thing most guys who fancy themself dominant miss. You cannot top without a bottom. You cannot dominate without a submissive. The submissive is giving a gift to their top, and it’s a gift that deserves to be cherished.
And that’s not to say that I’d expect Atlas to suddenly do a one-eighty personality change and become the perfect little bottom. No one is asking that of him.
I’m getting ahead of myself.
None of us is even saying that Atlas needs to fuck us now that we’re his Alphas. Even Athena’s doctor brother said that the knot isn’t what satisfies during a heat, which was wild news to me. It released some of the tension I was holding about what we’d do if they suddenly went into heat.
We could figure out how to get them both through it without ever having to cross their boundaries.
It’d be harder, and I’m sure jerking off frequently so we could fill the air with enough pheromones to satisfy two Omegas would make me feel like my dick was gonna fall off.
Still, I prefer that over being intimate with my Omegas just because they’re lost to a heat and not because they want me.
Basically, the asshole is so busy borrowing worry, anticipating hating something that may not happen, that he hasn’t even taken the steps to accept his new designation.
They don’t even have a nest yet, for fucks sake.
If Wyatt doesn’t chew his ear off for this, I will, because Athena is having another of her dissociative episodes because of the combined trauma of facing her abusers and what Atlas said.
The new Omega’s body loses some of its rigidity, and she stirs. I kick my purr up a notch, pulling her closer to me and burying her face in my neck.
I know she can’t scent me, but what would I smell like if she could?
What is home for Athena Valentine?
“Mmm.” The vibration of the sound has my eyes drifting shut. “Soft,” she mumbles.
This is the only time in my life I will accept being called soft as a compliment.
“Hey, Omega,” I whisper, using her designation. I don’t want to make a habit of calling her it over her name, but I feel that since Atlas’s insult of the designation triggered her shutdown, using it when addressing her will make her feel more secure in it.
But honestly, what the fuck do I know? I barely graduated from high school. I cheated off my neighbor in my designation physiology and biology class.
“Hey,” she responds breathily. She hasn’t opened her eyes, but her hand dances across my breastbone. “Harvey.”
My heart stutters in my chest.
How does she know it’s me?
Could it be that she can scent me now? Does her body recognize me as much as mine does hers?
She buries her face in the crook of my neck, nuzzling against my scent gland.
“Wish I could smell you,” she says softly. “My therapist thinks it’s because I’m not ‘one’ with my Omega, whatever that means.”
Well, there goes that hope.
“It’s okay if you never do,” I say, even though it makes my stomach clench. “I know what you are to me.”
“Do you ever wish that Atlas and I didn’t have to be together for you to know?”
I hook my finger under her chin and pull her face up to look in my eyes. “Omega, even if my nose was gone, and I couldn’t smell a damn thing, I’d still know you belong with me.”
Her body freezes, eyelashes fluttering. “How?”
“How do I know you belong with me?”
“Yeah. How?”
I smile, caressing her jaw and hopefully opening myself up so she can see the sincerity in my words. “Because your soul calls to mine. I wish I had met you when you were a Beta so you’d know I’m not just saying this, but I know you were always going to find your way to me.”
“You barely know me.” I can tell she wants to scoff, to write off everything I say, but a part of her longs to hear it.
She needs to be someone’s first choice.
“I don’t need to know your favorite color, what the name was of your childhood pet, or the type of music that makes you turn the radio up when it comes on to know that you’re my girl, Athena.”
Her breath hitches, and she moves closer to me, our bodies pressed tightly against one another. I can practically hear the drumbeat of her heart.
“Lavender, Socks, and bubblegum pop.”
“Black, Rex, and heavy metal,” I respond.
“Black. How original. Big scary biker man loves the color black.”
“Hey!” I reach down and tickle her sides teasingly. “Maybe I joined the club because my favorite color was black, not the other way around.”
“Did you?” She wiggles away from my tickling fingers. “Why did you join?”
I knew this conversation would eventually come up. I’m surprised it took this long, honestly.
Doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.
“My dad died when I was young. I’ve got three sisters, and my mom struggled to support us.
I was the man of the house, ya know? It was my responsibility to take care of them.
I ended up running a few jobs. It was easy cash, and no one got hurt.
Until I got caught in a sting. I ended up doing a year in prison. I met Boots there.”
“Boots?”
“He’s a Hawk. He’s the road captain now, but at the time, he was an enforcer. He was on his way out and told me to find him when I got out. I did. Not many places want to employ an ex-con, and I still needed to support the girls. Been here ever since.”
I know she may have a problem with my history. On paper, I’ve got a lot of marks against me. I’m significantly older than her, have a criminal record, I’m involved in an outlaw MC club, and that’s not touching on the fact that my face is all fucked up.
She could do a lot better than me.
My nerve endings in my face are shot, but somehow, I still feel the soft caress of her fingers on my scarred cheek. “Sounds like you had a tough life,” she whispers.
“Others had it worse,” I grunt.
“Sure, but that doesn’t mean you had it easy. Do you still take care of your family?”
I can’t stop the smile that stretches across my face.
“My sisters have families of their own now. Two are Alphas, and they’re in the same pack.
Their Omega, Luke, is a good dude. A little annoying, but only because he cares so much.
My other sister is a Beta and got married three years ago.
Mom has three grandkids, and she’s over the moon.
They don’t need much from me anymore, but I still send over what I can. I have to disguise it as gifts now.”
Her fingers drift across the top of my nose, down my other cheek, and then ghost over my lips. I freeze, worried that any sudden movement will scare her off, wanting to soak in every touch from her.
“There is more to you than meets the eye,” she says softly. “I’ve been so wrapped up in myself and Atlas that I kind of missed it.”
“To be fair, you’re going through a lot.”
“But I don’t have to do it alone, do I?”
I gently take her wrist, bringing her fingers to my mouth and kissing the tips. “I would prefer if you didn’t, doll.” Her green eyes are so open, so vulnerable, that it makes my chest hurt.
She trusts me.
After leaving her alone in the hospital, she still trusts me.
“I’m sorry, Athena,” I whisper, cupping the side of her face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you in the hospital when you woke up.”
She doesn’t do the people-pleasing thing of brushing it off and saying, “It’s okay.” No, she doesn’t let me off that easily.
“It really hurt.” She nuzzles into the palm of my hand, eyes fluttering shut. “I’m never the first choice, but I don’t want Atlas to be the consolation prize either.”
“It’s going to take all of us some time to learn how to work out these dynamics,” I remind her.
“None of us has been here before. And there will be times when you need us more, and times when he does. But when you both do, we, as your Alphas, have to do better to ensure you both get the care you deserve. And the first time we had the opportunity, we failed. I don’t want you to think that was anything other than us fucking up.
We want you, Athena. Give us the chance to show you. ”
She shivers, eyes falling closed and her breath hitching in her chest. I think she’s about to say something, but I can’t hold myself back anymore.
I lean down and brush my lips over hers once, twice, and the third time I finally push firmly, letting our lips linger together. Her mouth opens with a soft sigh, and I flick my tongue into it, tasting her. She whimpers, hips pushing against mine as our tongues tangle together.
It’s lazy and sweet, making no promises or requests to take this further, and yet it is still the most incredible kiss I have ever had.
Something in me wakes up. A feeling of rightness that is impossible to describe, and yet I know every Alpha has felt the same the first time they kissed their Omega.
She’s mine.
Mine.
This beautiful, sensitive, damaged Omega is mine.
And I’m not letting her go.