Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
Harvey opens the front door for me, ushering me inside. Our one-on-one time has done wonders for my nerves.
It fucking hurt to hear Atlas talk like he did, and I hate that my body shut down instead of letting me confront him about it, but spending that time with Harvey cemented something that I’ve been thinking about for some time now, the reason their leaving me alone in the hospital hurt so much.
I want Pack Lupine.
Sure, we still have a lot to learn about each other, and I can’t smell their pheromones and know for sure that they’re my scent matches, but that voice in the back of my mind that Dr. K wants me to embrace, the one that sounds like Ethel, is encouraging me to get closer to them.
I need to bring up how fucked it is that the voice I have given my Omega belongs to Ethel with Dr. K.
Sebastian is lounging in the living room with his laptop perched precariously on his thighs when we enter. He looks up with a broad grin on his ruddy face.
“Athena!” he exclaims happily, shoving the laptop to the couch and jumping up. “You came back.”
A blush stains my cheeks. “Yeah… I, uh, hope that’s okay.”
If he were a cartoon character, Sebass’s eyes would bug out of his face. “Are you kidding? Of course it’s okay! We weren’t sure if you’d want to after… Well, after we were such colossal assholes.”
I lower myself into the plush armchair that faces the hearth, kicking my shoes off and pulling my knees to my chest. Harvey bends down and kisses my head before telling me he’s heading into the garage, leaving me alone with Sebastian.
“We fucked up, Athena,” he says softly. “We never meant for you to feel unwanted.”
“I know. Harvey and I talked about it.” I don’t want to rehash everything, but I know Sebastian needs this conversation.
Sometimes, forgiving others means helping them forgive themselves for their mistakes. Not that it’s my responsibility to make them feel better after hurting me, but it helps no one for any of us to hold on to this incident and let it stop us from moving forward in our relationships.
And I’m tired. I’m tired of looking behind me. I don’t want this to be another thing that haunts me.
“Well, that doesn’t mean I’m off the hook.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, like he doesn’t know what to say next.
I try to put him out of his misery, show him I know he’s trying. “Crystal told me today was your idea.”
“She did?”
“Yeah. And it was a good one. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear the truth of what happened from them.” It was upsetting, of course, but having the what-ifs that were plaguing me gone feels like a weight being lifted off my chest.
“It’s not much of an apology, I know, but I hope it can help you heal. I’ll be here to support you however you need me to.” He looks so earnest, so sweet, that I can’t help but smile. It’s hard to be upset around Sebastian.
“Are you hungry?” he asks, hopping to his feet. “I’m going to make you a snack.”
“Where is Atlas?” I ask, padding after him into the kitchen.
“He’s relaxing in the bath,” Charles says, looking up from where he’s elbow deep in the sink.
“You got him in the bath? You must be a miracle worker.” Atlas has only taken five-minute showers since we were rescued. I highly doubt that he’s afraid of a bath, so I don’t know what’s holding him back from one.
I fucking love a bath.
Charles dries his arms off with a black dish towel. “He’s stubborn, but I made him see reason, eventually.” Charles wrings his hands in front of his waist, looking everywhere but me as he struggles to meet my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Athena,” he begins.
I cut him off. “Harvey and Sebass already apologized.”
“But that’s not my apology. You deserve one from each of us.”
“Holy shit,” I groan, throwing my head back.
“You all messed up. It hurt. It brought up shitty feelings and memories. But I don’t need the self-flagellation.
I need you all to choose me. To show me every day that I’m your Omega, and that you want me, and you can’t do that if I refuse to be in the same room as you. ”
He stares at me blankly, but before he can speak, I continue.
“I’m sure I’ll have to have a version of this conversation with Wyatt, too.
You all are good men, Charles. You’re a good man, and a good Alpha.
You made a mistake, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve another chance.
This isn’t one of those mistakes that can’t be worked through.
I’ve been on the receiving end of those before, so I know that this is not one of them.
We’re all going to mess up at some point, right? ”
“I’m sure we will,” he says softly. “But you needed us, and we weren’t there. I’ll never forgive myself for it.”
“Then I’ll forgive you for both of us, Charles.”
The handsome Alpha’s shoulders loosen, my words taking some of the stress he must have been carrying away. I’m realizing he’s a high-strung guy.
Sebastian scurries around the kitchen, opening and closing the fridge several times on his journey to and from the dining room and pantry. Charles and I step aside and out of his way. The affection he feels for his pack mate is evident on Charles’s face as he watches the other Alpha.
“You guys are pretty close, huh?” I ask, realizing I know little about their pack dynamic.
“Yeah,” he answers, leaning against the counter. “All packs are different, you know? Some are fully polyamorous, some end up more like a fraternity, best friends. But we’re brothers. We’re a family.”
“So there’s nothing… romantic there?”
He laughs, a smooth, rich sound that I desperately want to hear more of. “No, not between the four of us. I love the guys, but not in that way.”
“I never expected my pack to be like this,” I tell him honestly. “I always assumed I’d have at least one woman in the mix.”
“Are you disappointed you don’t?” There is a small, insecure tone to his voice that makes me want to wrap my hands around his waist and hold him tightly.
So I do.
Charles tenses momentarily before sinking into my arms and resting his chin on my head. I can hear his heart beating beneath my ear, and the steady sound of it feels like home.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am safe in Charles’s arms.
Looking up at him, it’s hard to miss the affection in his eyes. I can’t help but tease him.
“I mean, I’m not looking forward to five pairs of smelly socks every day.”
“To be fair, Sebastian normally wears slip-on shoes,” Charles protests. “So, four pairs is more likely.”
Sebass pokes his head into the kitchen. “Wyatt has the smelliest feet of the lot of us. Absolutely horrendous. Oh, food is ready.”
I gag a little. “Do you think talking about smelly feet and food in the same sentence is going to help my appetite?”
“In retrospect, that was a bad call,” the Alpha says sheepishly.
An unattractive laugh sputters out of me, and Sebass’s face brightens considerably.
“I may have lost count, but I’m pretty sure I’m winning the laugh competition, easy,” he teases Charles. “Gotta step your game up, Chuckie.”
Charles slips his hand into mine and guides me to the dining room, grumbling something about not needing to keep track.
When I slip into a chair at the table, the Alphas choose to sit on either side of me, our elbows bumping and knocking each other as we reach out and build our plates from the eclectic spread my Alpha prepared for me.
I’m about to go to the nest to check on Atlas, who’s been in the bath for a while, when Wyatt walks into the dining room.
Sebass, Charles, and I have been joking around, getting to know each other better for the past half hour, and it’s been wonderful.
I was wondering where Wyatt was, but I didn’t want to ask in case it broke the happy bubble we were in.
The other Alpha toys with his ball cap in his hands. “Do you have a minute, Athena?” He looks nervous, which is an expression I haven’t seen on him before now.
“Of course, Alpha,” I say, pushing to my feet. His cheeks flush before I realize I used his designation as a title. It’s happening more and more often lately, almost becoming a reflex.
“I’ll clean up,” Charles says, following me up and kissing my cheek.
“Of course you will, I cooked,” Sebastian adds, squeezing me around the waist.
“Assembling snacks from the pantry and fridge isn’t cooking,” Charles teases him, gathering up what’s left of our food.
Wyatt and I leave them playfully arguing in the dining room. He guides me through the house and out the back patio door.
This is the first time I’ve been out here. It’s pretty bare, with only a small fire pit and a few folding camping chairs around it. I look over at Wyatt to see that he’s staring sheepishly at his feet.
“I forgot it’s basically a campground out here,” he says. “I was thinking some fresh air would be nice.”
“It is.” I smile at him and place my hand on his forearm. “Let’s sit down.”
The last time I was sitting with Wyatt, I was in his lap, but this time we chose chairs that are side by side. I adjust mine so I’m facing him, and he angles his in my direction.
“First, I need to apologize.”
I groan, throwing my head back.
I know I need to let them apologize. They need to do it to release some of their guilt and clear the air between us. But I don’t need another apology.
I tell Wyatt as much.
“Look, can we skip this part of the conversation? The others have all apologized for what happened.” He sits back, eyes wide, and I continue. “Here, I can do it for you. You’re sorry that you left me alone. You’re stupid and made a mistake, and you’ll do better from here on out.”
He gapes at me like a fish out of water, and I realize this may be the first time I’ve sassed anyone in the pack.
Something about the skin-to-skin contact and kisses with Harvey has brought back pieces of who I was before the kidnapping, and it feels so good. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see that version of myself again.
“Uh, yeah,” he says after a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. “That was the gist of it.”
“Cool. I don’t expect you to grovel for a mistake that anyone could’ve made in a high-stress situation.”
“I don’t know about anyone…”
“Okay, well, regardless. Can we skip the apologies and spend some time together?”
He kicks his feet out, crossing his ankles with an impish grin. “Sure thing, princess.”
The way he says “princess” sends a shiver down my spine. It’s a pet name that can be reverent or derogatory, depending on whose mouth it comes out of, but when Wyatt Lupine says it?
When Wyatt says it, it feels like he’s running his hands down my body.
Out of all of them, he’s the one who seems the most like a caveman. He’s always making grumbling noises and pulling us into his arms. He likes to touch us, like he’s reassuring himself that we’re here.
I bet it has something to do with his brother, Will, being captured. Maybe one day I’ll ask him more about that, but not today.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admit, before I can stop myself.
“Like, at all. I have exactly two examples of what it means to be an Omega. One is my sister-in-law, and the other is the woman who gave me this scar.” I rub my hand across my chest, the ghost of Willa’s rejection captured under my skin.
“None of us have had an Omega before, so don’t think we have these rigid ideals about what you’re supposed to be.”
“Don’t tell me you never dreamed about your perfect Omega,” I tease. “Every Alpha does.”
“Not me,” he insists. “My brother is an Omega. I am under no impression that everything an Omega is and does is glamorous and perfect.”
“How dare you!” I clasp my chest dramatically. “Being an Omega is a gift or whatever.”
He sucks on his teeth. “Mhm. The gift that keeps on slicking.”
I wish I had a drink in my hand, solely so I could do a spit take. “Oh my God, Wyatt, did you make a joke?”
“Hey, I make jokes!” he insists.
“Well, maybe not good ones.”
Wyatt’s eyes widen at my insult. “Shots fired, damn.”
I jump to my feet and lean down, kissing him on the forehead. “All’s fair in ruts and war.”
“And you say I have bad jokes,” he teases, tickling my side. “There’s a lot I have to learn about you, Athena Valentine.”
I hum happily, leaning into him, even though he’s sitting. He’s so tall that it’s still comfortable for me. “And we’ve got the time, Wyatt Lupine.”