10. Creed
Chapter 10
Creed
G azing up at the ceiling, my stomach swirls with guilt. I haven't spoken to Vaughn in over a week .
But I haven't felt in control of anything in my life for so long, and it felt like I was reclaiming a part of myself by pushing him away. Plus, there's this part of me that knows I should have told him what my mom asked of me, and I couldn’t do that. She wants me to keep tabs on the Serpents, and that wouldn't bode well for my relationship with Vaughn.
I groan in frustration, rolling over and staring at the alarm clock, which reads four a.m. I should be asleep right now, but every time I close my eyes all I see are his dark eyes clouded with hurt—a mirror of my own soul.
"Fuck it," I grumble, tossing the comforter off, and getting up.
I pad over to my closet, throw on a t-shirt and jeans, and head into Hux's kitchen. Ever since the bond broke, I've been living here at the club. The flat above the Den is set up like a penthouse, with an open floor plan where the living room and kitchen are at the heart of the space. Mindlessly, I fill the coffee pot and wait for it to brew. The only sound is the water filtering through to the pot, so when I hear a soft groan coming from Hux's room, the hairs on my arms stand on end.
I creep closer to the door, every muscle tense. Another soft moan filters through, muffled by the closed door. I hear a deep voice murmur, and that's when I realize—Vaughn is in there with Kay. I stand outside the door, listening to them together, a mixture of longing and jealousy swirling within me.
I shouldn't be here, shouldn't be listening, but I can't help it. The sound of her soft cries, the sound of their connection, is like a knife twisting in my chest, making me feel even more isolated and alone.
I did this to myself. I've pushed Vaughn away and yet here I am, aching for him, for her, for what we could have.
Together.
Unable to take it any longer, I turn away and head back to the kitchen. The coffee pot is full, and I pour myself a mug, hoping the bitterness will ground me, distract me from the turmoil inside. I lean against the counter, staring into the dark liquid as my mind races.
My mom's request hangs over me like a dark cloud. Keeping tabs on the Serpents—it's a betrayal of everything Vaughn and I have built together. But it's a request from the Sterling matriarch, and not heeding her request could be dire.
I sip my coffee, the heat burning my tongue. But it's a welcome distraction from the chaos in my mind. I need to talk to Vaughn, explain, and make him understand why I did what I did.
But how can I, when I can't even make sense of it myself?
As the caffeine begins to seep into my system, clarity starts to form. I can't keep running from this, from him. I need to face it. Even if it means risking everything, I need to be honest with Vaughn. I need to fight for our pack, for our future.
Whatever that might look like.
My fingers grip the warm ceramic mug of coffee, the weight of the past few night's heavy on my mind. Vaughn and I haven't spoken since I insisted he talk to Viper earlier, and the memory of that moment still clenches at my heart. He listened to me when I shut him out and walked out the door without protest.
Vaughn listening to me is rare, and a small step towards earning back my trust. He has a long way to go if he wants us back together, but seeing him protecting tiny from Adam is a point in his favor.
I take another sip of coffee, my mind on a downward spiral. I can't shake the feeling that my brother won't let Vaughn's actions go unanswered. Adam's vindictive nature means he's guaranteed to retaliate. On top of that, with my mother's scheming ways... I'm certain things are far from over.
The uncertainty has me on edge, feeling like I'm grasping at straws as I try to stay one step ahead of my family. Vaughn and I should be leaning on each other for support, but I can't do that right now. I need him to come to me, because I haven't fully forgiven him for everything yet.
If we are to heal, it must begin with me reclaiming my control and my self-worth. Asserting myself the other night was invigorating, and for once I put my needs before anyone else. As an omega, I've always prioritized everyone else's needs, but now I'm allowing myself to be selfish. Perhaps it's pride, but if Vaughn truly seeks my forgiveness, he must be the one to take the first step.
But that won't be happening today. According to Candi, Vaughn is returning home to confront his uncle. I know this must be incredibly difficult for him, and my omega instincts urge me to be there for him. However, I need to stand my ground and protect my heart.
In the quiet of the kitchen, I sit with these conflicting emotions, my coffee cup now empty. Since Hux's arrest, we've kept the bar closed. Kaylani needs time to heal, and we need a plan to extricate Candi from this mess. She doesn't deserve to be forced to mate with my psychopath of a brother. And that all starts with bringing Hux home. The urgency of it all gnaws at me. The empty Den feels like it's seconds away from chaos. Glancing around the empty flat, my body remains tense and on high alert.
It's quiet here, too quiet.
I take a deep breath, trying to steel myself against the uncertainty. We can't stay idle for long. Time is slipping away, and every moment we delay is another opportunity for Adam and my mother to tighten their grip on us.
I need Vaughn.
Part of me wants to reach out, to break the silence between us and mend what's broken. But another part, the part that's still wounded and uncertain, pulls back. I grapple with the fear of vulnerability, of opening up to him again only to risk more pain. My heart races as I contemplate my next move. It's easier to hold onto my pride, to wait for him to make the first move. But deep down, I know that if we're ever going to move forward, someone has to take that step.
But why should it be me?
I sit, running these thoughts through my head for hours. I’ve just about convinced myself to knock when his door swings open and Kaylani steps out, her presence a balm to my restless soul. She looks better today, her vibrant pink hair tucked behind her ears, and the bruising under her eyes yellowing around the edges.
"Creed," she greets me softly, a hint of exhaustion in her voice. "Can we talk?"
"Good morning, tiny," I murmur, glancing at the clock, which now reads half past seven. "Couldn't sleep? Having too much fun with Vaughn were you?"
A blush coats her cheeks and her eyes dart back to the closed door where Vaughn has still not appeared. Vaughn has never been a morning person, so he’s likely still asleep and won’t be up for a few more hours.
"Yeah, about that…"
"Don't. You're pack, tiny. You don't need to feel guilty for anything."
She nods, biting her lip, and my eyes fixate on the movement. I swallow thickly and focus back on her troubled gray eyes.
"I was worried you'd... hate me when you found out," her voice is barely above a whisper.
I cross the small distance between us and gently cup her face, my touch feather-light. "I could never hate you, Kaylani. Never."
Her eyes fill with tears, but her body visibly relaxes. Once I'm satisfied she believes me, I gesture for her to join me at the kitchen island. She slides onto a stool, looking worn out. I pour her a cup of coffee, and she takes it with a grateful smile, but I get this lingering feeling that she wants to say something.
"Whatever is swirling around that pretty little head of yours, spill." I plop down on the stool beside her and wait for her to organize her thoughts.
"I'm going to check in with Brina today. Get an exam done." She sips her coffee, her eyes darting around the living room as she speaks.
I sigh, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "The thought of you going anywhere sends my anxiety skyrocketing, but you should get checked out. You should have a few nights ago when everything happened to you. I'll go with you. You shouldn't be going anywhere alone."
She sighs, frustration creasing her brows. "I know, but I'm going stir-crazy here Creed," she admits, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of her cup. "And… I haven't told Brina about Bex yet. I need to do this alone," she says on a breath, her shoulders tense.
The mention of Rebecca hits me like a blow to the chest. I know she needs closure after losing her best friend, and with all the chaos in my life, I couldn’t help. I had to put her loss on the back burner.
Fuck, maybe I really am being selfish.
I have this urge to pull her into my arms, soothe the hurt written all over her face, but I don't. I'm not sure she'll welcome my touch, and I don't think I could handle her rejection right now.
"Tiny," I start, my voice softer now. "I know you want to do right by Rebecca. But I can't risk losing you too."
Her eyes well with tears, but her voice remains steady. "You can't expect me to stay here forever," she insists. "I need to face this. Please understand. I need some sense of normalcy in my life."
I pause, grappling with my conflicting desires to both protect her and respect her choices. Everyone's been controlling my life, and I don't want to do the same to her. The weight of that realization settles heavily on my shoulders.
"Promise me you'll call me, text me. Something so I know you're safe," I say as I silently pray I'm not making a big mistake by not trying to stop her.
"Oh, um. I lost my phone," she says, biting her lip again.
A nervous habit I'm beginning to notice. But frustration still coats my voice when I mutter, "Of course you did," pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Hey," she snaps, and my eyes dart back up to her narrowed gaze. "How was I supposed to know I'd be taken from Sully's? I left my phone in the booth when Adam came."
I smirk at the irritation in her voice, my previous frustrations melting away as I realize she's right—she couldn't have predicted what would happen. The absurdity of our situation hits me, and I can't help but find some humor in it.
"Is something funny? Please enlighten me, Creed. It's too damn early in the morning for your shenanigans, and I haven't had nearly enough coffee yet."
I chuckle at her outburst. She truly is adorable when she's angry. Like a tiny kitten with claws, and it's moments like these that remind me why I care so deeply for her.
"Why are you laughing?" she hisses, her voice raising an octave.
"No reason," I say, smothering my laugh by taking the last sip of my now cold coffee. "Just thinking about how you manage to be fierce even when you're cranky."
"Well, stop," she says, but there's no real heat in her voice as a smile slowly creeps up her own face.
"You're so..." she starts.
"Charming?" I chirp, and she opens her mouth to respond. "Sexy?" I wiggle my brows. "Irresistible?" I add, cutting her off again as my eyes rake down her body before zoning back in on her face.
Her cheeks flush a deeper shade of pink, and she crosses her arms, trying to maintain her composure. "Annoying," she retorts, but there's a playful glint in her eyes that wasn't there before.
I lean in closer, my voice dropping to a murmur. "You know, I was just trying to cheer you up. We both know things have been tense, and a little laughter might help."
She bites her lip, her gaze softening. "Maybe you're right," she concedes, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Of course I'm right," I reply, my tone teasing yet sincere. "Now, how about we get you that coffee and start over?"
I chuckle, leaning back against the counter. "Fair enough, but I like to think of it as part of my charm."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night," she mutters, but there's no real heat in her words. Instead, she takes another sip of her coffee, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips.
We fall into a comfortable silence, the earlier tension between us dissipating. It's a relief to see her smile, even if just a little.
Moments like these give me hope.