9. Felix #2
Even as she talks, even as my mind, eyes and body follows her, I can't get over the scent. Hers. The one I'm trying so hard not to be captivated by.
She explains how foot traffic flows during different times of day, why certain seating arrangements work better than others, which areas get overcrowded during various programs. But she also peppers me with questions that demonstrate her genuine curiosity about the design process.
"How do you balance natural light requirements with climate control needs?
I've read that south-facing windows can create heating issues but north-facing windows don't provide enough illumination for reading, but this is something you factor into preliminary designs or address during the engineering phase? "
"What's your philosophy on open concept versus defined spaces?
I love how this main reading room creates community while still feeling intimate, but I worry that too much openness in an addition might create noise issues.
How do you handle acoustic separation without making spaces feel disconnected? "
"The accessibility requirements must be challenging in historical buildings. How do you integrate modern safety standards without compromising the original architectural vision? I noticed your courthouse solution was brilliant but it must have required significant structural modifications."
Each question reveals not just intelligence but genuine engagement with the complexity of what I do.
Belle isn't just making polite conversation, she's actually interested in understanding how architecture works, how design decisions affect user experience, how historical preservation balances respect for the past with service to the present.
And her eyes. Jesus Christ, those brown eyes.
Every time she looks directly at me while asking a question or explaining some aspect of library operations, I feel like she's seeing straight through whatever professional facade I'm maintaining.
Not in an invasive way, but with the kind of focused attention that makes you feel like you're the most interesting thing in her universe at that particular moment.
If only she were an omega. The thought hits me with surprising force as we examine the children's section and Belle kneels down to demonstrate how the current furniture arrangement forces kids to crowd together in ways that create both safety and behavioral issues.
She'd be perfect. Intelligent enough to challenge me intellectually, passionate enough to match my own intensity about work, caring enough to dedicate her life to serving others. And beautiful in a way that grows more compelling every time I look at her.
She's exactly the kind of woman I'd be attracted to if secondary gender compatibility wasn't a factor, exactly the kind of person I could see building a life with.
And completely wrong for someone like me.
Marcus, Theo, and I have spent years looking for our omega.
We know she's out there, but statistics and instinct both say that three compatible alphas should eventually find their genetic match.
But we also know that settling for someone who can't complete our pack bond would be unfair to everyone involved.
Belle deserves someone who can love all of her without reservation. And I deserve to find the omega who's meant to complete what Marcus, Theo, and I have built together.
But fuck if it isn't disappointing.
"The teenagers are our biggest challenge," Belle continues, leading me toward a section near the back where several high school students are clustered around computers.
"They need space to study and socialize, but they also need supervision without feeling like they're being watched.
Right now we're using this area, but it's too close to the quiet study zones and too far from the reference desk for effective monitoring. "
"What kind of programs do you run for that age group?" I ask, forcing myself to focus on professional details rather than the way afternoon light makes Belle's hair shine like polished wood.
"Study groups, college prep workshops, job readiness training, creative writing clubs, but space limitations mean we can only offer minimal programming. These kids need somewhere they can be loud and collaborative without disturbing other patrons."
As we continue the tour, moving through reference areas and adult programming spaces, I become increasingly impressed by Belle's comprehensive understanding of how libraries function as community resources. But I also become increasingly aware of how much I enjoy listening to her talk.
She has opinions about everything from lighting design, furniture selection, traffic flow patterns to programming schedules. But more than that, she has reasons for those opinions, detailed explanations based on observation and experience and genuine care for the people she serves.
"The senior citizens who come here for social interaction need different accommodations than the seniors who come for quiet reading," she explains as we examine seating arrangements near the periodicals.
"Mrs. Chen wants to chat with everyone about her grandchildren, but Mr. Peterson comes here specifically to get away from noise and conversation.
Designing spaces that can accommodate both needs without creating conflict requires really thoughtful planning. "
"You know all your regular patrons personally," I observe, impressed by the level of individual attention she provides.
"Of course! That's half the job in understanding what people need and helping them find it, whether it's a specific book or just a quiet place to spend an afternoon.
Mr. Peterson lost his wife six months ago and he's still figuring out how to fill his days.
Mrs. Russ moved here from the city to be closer to her daughter but she misses the social connections she had there.
Reading is important, but so is community. "
The passion in her voice when she talks about serving people is genuine and compelling. Belle isn't just doing a job, but she has found her calling, her way of making the world better in small but meaningful ways.
"And you, Belle. What makes you stay? I hear that you lost one family to the next due to tragedies. In a small town like this which is slowly filling up as a safe environment for alphas and omegas. What makes you want to stay?"
Our eyes lock, and it is there, without uncertainty, as I move closer to her, that I want to do more than continue talking, so much more. But then something distracts us. We're not alone as there's a big thump at the door.
Her eyes widen and we move toward the front door to see someone has slammed against it.
They're intoxicated. Belle waves them away, but I'm very much remembering what we were discussing.
I'm very aware of what the conversation was about, but she spins on her toes and surprises me with her assertiveness.
Felix blurts out, "Kids." Belle agrees and nods.
"I have to ask…what's it like living with Marcus and Theo? I mean, if that's not too personal a question."
The query catches me off guard, partly because it's unexpected, but everything she’s doing me, makes me realize more and more that Marcus is right about her. Then again, when is Marcus ever wrong, he’s always right about everything.
“What do you mean?" I ask, though I'm pretty sure I know where this is going.
"Well, everyone in town talks about the three of you, and that you tend to keep to yourselves and live in that beautiful house in the middle of the woods. But no one actually knows anything about you beyond gossip and speculation. I'm curious about the reality versus the reputation."
Her directness is refreshing after years of people either avoiding us entirely or treating us like dangerous animals. Belle seems genuinely interested in understanding rather than judging.
"The reality is probably less exciting than the gossip," I reply carefully. "We're a pack who work well together and decided to share living space. Marcus handles business development, Theo manages security concerns, and I focus on design and construction. It's practical more than mysterious."
"But don't you get lonely?" Belle presses, and there's something almost innocent about the question. "Living out there away from town, not participating in community events, not... I don't know, dating or socializing like other people your age? Like what events could you participate in?"
"Like what?" I ask.
"Well, there's the monthly fun walk around the park,” she beams.
“We prefer running."
"Trivia night at Murphy's every Wednesday,” she says, while jumping with excitement. I could feed of her energy all day.
“We're too knowledgeable. It wouldn't be fair."
She raises an eyebrow. "What about the annual treasure hunt?"
"That's for kids."
"The harvest festival? Town meetings? Game nights at the community center?"
"Too crowded and loud," I reply about the harvest festival. "Town meetings are just people complaining about the same issues every month," I add. "And game nights... too many personalities in one small room," I conclude.
The question hits closer to home than she probably realizes. Yes, we get lonely. Yes, there are times when the isolation feels more like exile than choice. Yes, watching other people find mates and build families while we remain locked in a pattern of searching and disappointment gets exhausting.
But how do you explain to someone who seems genuinely happy with her life and work, that some people are driven by biological needs that can't be satisfied through career fulfillment or community service?
“We do get lonely sometimes," I admit. "But we have each other, and we have work that matters to us. That's enough for now."
"For now," Belle repeats thoughtfully. "That suggests you're waiting for something specific."