Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Tatum
I never gave much thought to what I wanted to be when I grew up. I think maybe some part of me knew I wouldn’t get a choice. That I’d have to take whatever I could get and wouldn’t have time to go to school for anything I could turn into a career.
Omegas don’t get a lot of options as it is. We’re expected to focus on family, and pack. Having babies… being caregivers. Not accomplishments. Not dreaming of a future where we provide for ourselves. If I had a pack of Alphas, they could take care of me, and my mom.
That’s not what I want. Maybe it was once, when I was younger. Not anymore.
I might not have given my career much thought, but when I thought of the future…I certainly never thought this is where life would lead me.
The flyer lists the positions available at the club. There are your typical jobs, things like bartender, waitress, security, and dancer. But my mind fixates on the less obvious monikers. Play Thing, Fantasy Muse, Primal, and Heat Mistress. I consider what those jobs entail and hope that I can handle them.
As an Omega, sex work was something I was aware of but had largely avoided. It hadn’t been something they advertised at the high school job fair.
It’s not that I looked down on those who did sex work. I would never have considered it an option before with my history. It wasn’t exactly a safe option in the past for those of my designation, and even though it’s safer now, it still comes with risks.
Haze is a newer club, only about ten years old. But they have a reputation. And since their opening, other clubs similar to them have opened all over the city.
And even though there are about five clubs to choose from in my area, something about the Haze flyer drew me in.
It was posted on the tack board at Mom’s Diner. Bright pink and standing out like a neon sign.
Omega’s wanted. No experience needed. On the job training. Must be open-minded.
So here I am. Running out the door to get my hands on clothes I would never buy for any other reason.
I like to blend in. I don’t want to stand out or make a lasting impression. I want to be the kind of Omega that Alphas look right past. With baggy hoodies and nineties mom jeans. Omegas who get too much attention, end up trapped in a pack. Trapped in a bond with someone who would break you.
Exactly the kind of Omega that a club like Haze would never hire.
Which means I’ll have to fake it till I make it.
I channel one of my favorite TV characters, Eleanor Shellstrop. Determined and willing to adapt to fit in.
I might need a little Michael Scott while I’m at it. Delusional and overly confident in skills I do not possess.
I jog down the stairs, lifting my chin and pretending this isn’t wildly out of my comfort zone.
When I open the security door at the front of my apartment building, I spot my old bike that I use to get around town and debate whether to walk. It helps make the trip to and from the diner where I work easier, but I think I could use the walk to clear my head. Turning right, I head to the busier part of the city.
There’s an adult store down the street, likely because of the proximity to Haze, and I need an outfit that screams knot magnet. Omega Fantasy Muse, here I come. That one seemed like the best fit for someone who’s only had sex once, and currently has no dance skills.
Despite my nerves, I can feel it in my bones that this is the right choice. The club owners have to hire me. They can’t say no. If they do, I’m fucked. Literally fucked. Well, not literally.
I haven’t been literally fucked in three years.
I’d almost be sad about that, if men weren’t the literal worst.
And while I think women are beautiful, and should be worshiped for the goddesses they are, I have no desire to fuck them. Unfortunately, my Omega instincts don’t stir for female Alphas.
I power walk my ass off and make it to the massive store in no time.
Instinct Boutique is written in bold, bright-red letters on a matte black sign hanging above the glass windows. Beautiful lingerie and crops are just visible behind artfully draped red velvet curtains. Google said this is one of the nicest adult stores in the area, with a high-end section as well as simple bodycon dresses, and anything else someone might need for a nightclub job.
I’m looking for something that says role play fantasy and high-end escort. Somewhere between Pretty Woman and Hit Me Baby One More Time.
The door swings open easily when I barge inside on a mission, and I come to a standstill barely three steps in.
Dildos everywhere. So many, many dildos. Hundreds… Floor-to-ceiling dicks. Wall-to-wall cock.
Knot after artificial knot.
I’m enthralled by the bright pink cock on display at the front of the store. It’s massive. It has a knot simulator with a remote control. My thighs clench at the turn my imagination takes when I reach toward the technological marvel. I haven’t had a heat in years. Suppressants have kept those at bay, and even though they are expensive, I spend the extra money every month. That won’t change.
This bad boy, however, almost makes me wish I was due for a heat soon. Almost. Just enough for me to imagine what it might feel like, but not enough to actually lose my fucking mind and stop taking my meds.
I don’t think there’s anything on earth that could make me want to go through a heat ever again.
Not after my first, and consequently last, heat.
“Wow. Should I be self-conscious that I’m not packing that thing?” a deep, masculine voice chuckles from beside me. A very nice voice. Like the low roar of a fire. It feels like honey when he speaks.
I glance up at the handsome Alpha with blue eyes that are framed by naturally-dark, long lashes and brown hair that’s styled away from his face, and flip the universe the bird. Nice try, but I’m not falling for that. For some smooth talking, attractive guy with wide shoulders and a warm smile. You’ll have to try harder than that, universe!
“I’m sure you make up for it in other ways.” Or maybe not. It’s fine. I can flirt. I need to practice anyway. How will I convince Alphas to spend their money or time with me if I can’t even hold a conversation with one?
“Oh, I do, but that thing is a beast.” The Alpha tilts his head as he examines the giant knot vibrator. “I suppose it’s not that much bigger, but still.” He grins as he turns to me, a knowing look in his eyes, and I snort a laugh. I can’t help it. Not that much bigger? Okay, buddy. That thing is like thirteen inches long and a wine bottle or more in width. I’m an Omega and built to take Alpha knots. Big fat knots. I mentally shake myself. I need to get a grip. I’m being closely watched.
I feel slightly self-conscious as he stares down at me. I’m wearing an oversized black hoodie and jean shorts. My sneakers have seen better days, now more brown than the white they once were. My blonde hair is in a messy bun, and I’m makeup free. The Alpha before me is in a freaking suit. I’m not sure which one of us is more out-of-place in here. Probably him.
“Well, vibrators have their perks, like not talking and lasting long enough for the Omega to come. That thing isn’t going to finish too quickly, and then ask if I came in six minutes of rough thrusting.” Even though that’s an experience I’ve only seen on TV or read in books.
The one and only experience I had with an Alpha was, well, completely opposite. I shut the memories out. The last thing I need to do is get turned on in a sex shop. Especially while thinking about that asshole. My mood threatens to sour, my blueberry and vanilla ice cream scent turning acidic, and I thank the universe for whoever invented suppressants. He’ll scent it, but it’ll be muted. Probably won’t even trigger his Alpha side.
An Alpha’s natural instinct is to soothe an Omega in distress, even if that distress is just annoyance. The last thing I need is this guy growling at me. Or worse, purring. No fucking way.
My anxiety spikes at the thought, and I jerk my gaze away from the intensity of his stare. Catching my attention on either tattooed wrist is a silver-braided bracelet and expensive looking watch that have my fingers twitching. He’s also got a necklace, but those are harder to reach unnoticed…
“Fair enough, but can I tell you a secret?” The Alpha steps into me, forcing me to tilt my head up, so I can look into his eyes when he leans down into my space. So tall and so handsome.
His scent is also clean and fresh, like summer rain, but it’s muted. It’s almost like his natural scent is missing, and I’m only picking up his body wash or cologne.
Alpha scents are usually overpowering. Meant to soothe or entice Omegas. I nod, waiting for him to speak before making my move, as his arm brushes mine when he leans even closer. My heart rate dances in my chest at the prospect of a new item for my collection.
“I would never have to ask an Omega if she came. I know what a woman looks like, sounds like, and tastes like when she comes, and I can guarantee I last much longer than six minutes of rough thrusting .”
I swallow thickly, locked in place, and slightly shocked.
That was a bold statement. From a stranger… In a sex shop.
I snap out of the stupor, shove my left hand into my jeans pocket, and pat his shoulder with my right. “Well, good for you, big boy.”
I step around him to find the clothing section, my adrenaline soaring like it always does when I do something naughty. It takes me a moment to remind myself why I’m here.
That was probably the hottest thing an Alpha has ever said to me. I think I liked it a little too much.
I might be on suppressants, but they only do so much. Their main job is to prevent me from going into heat. Some of the side effects are just a happy bonus. Like muted scents, and dulled instincts.
They can’t stop me from feeling attracted to sexy Alphas that whisper dirty things. Knowing I need to keep my distance, and being capable of resisting my body's needs, are two separate things. I haven’t gone three years without sex because I’m a robot who doesn’t feel need or desire.
No, I’ve gone three years without sex because I’ve been entirely too busy to hunt for a casual hookup. Okay, that's half true. I’m also entirely uninterested in Alphas. Betas would be safer, since an Omega like me needs an Alpha knot to get through their heat. Obviously, there are always exceptions.
Some packs make it work, and couples can use heat clinics if they want to. Then there are toys and artificial knots or locks. But in the long run, a lone omega with a lone Beta doesn't usually last relationship wise, once that first heat hits.
Betas aren’t built to help Omegas through a heat cycle. Not alone. At least, not as far as I know. I know that Betas can be the calm in a storm of pack hormones. Alphas tend to be overbearing, and Omegas can be extremely emotional. In a pack, Betas can help their mates navigate hormones and ride out those roller coasters of intensity and find balance.
A lone Omega, with a lone Alpha, wouldn’t run into the same issue. An Omega’s heat is built for their bonds, or relationships. Their specific needs. If you’re only being exposed to one scent…you won’t need more than one Alpha’s knot. But let's say you spend a lot of time drowning in the scents of the same people all day, every day. Your hormones react to that.
Again, there are exceptions. Incompatible scents. Hatred. Heartbreak. Emotions can fuck with hormones and instinct.
My first heat would be the perfect example, if I weren't actively avoiding thinking about that Alpha-hole. But let's just say, we did fine without any added Alphas running in to satisfy me. One was enough.
Gah! Back to the task at hand.
I can do this job! I’m more than capable of flirting with strangers.
Of course, to make the kind of money I need, I’ll have to do a lot more than flirt. Which might work in my favor, honestly. Clients of Haze Instincts aren’t looking for a girlfriend or to bond, they only want to get off. Or chase away their loneliness. I know how that feels.
Sometimes when I was alone, to fight the boredom I would pretend I was an actress, that I wasn’t living this life, but instead I was just playing a role. I stopped after I learned that was a sign of trauma. Maladaptive daydreaming, I think it’s called.
The Alpha follows close behind me. Close enough that I can feel his body heat. I don’t get any bad vibes from him, just the sense that he’s interested in me. Bad judgment on his part. That's his first red flag.
“Have dinner with me.” When he speaks, his voice is a rough, rumbling sound that makes me shiver. I like that sound. I giggle, turning to face him once more, genuinely amused.
“You don’t even know my name. Or anything else about me. I could be a thief, or a criminal.” I prop my hand on my hip and smile at him. I’m both. Well, I’m a thief, which is a criminal. So, yeah, both.
The silver bracelet is burning a hole in my pocket as we speak, and I’m eager to take it home to my treasure box.
Don’t worry, I’m more of a Robin Hood sort of thief, but in this case, I’m the poor.
“You could be, but you seem much too sweet to be a criminal. And the dinner invite is to get to know you. You could tell me your name now, though? I’m Declan, if that helps you say yes.”
I shake my head at him and his boldness, but find him endearing, so I give him just an inch. I won’t let him take a mile. “I’m Tatum.”
I don’t spend much time flirting with strangers, much less in a sex shop. Most of my time is spent working. But I don’t mind this.
Don’t get me wrong, this is going nowhere. He’s still an Alpha, with the ability to shatter my poor little heart into pieces, so while I’m okay with a bit of flirting, this won’t go any further than that. I probably won’t see him ever again either, which helps.
“Tatum.” Fuck, the way he says my name, like he savoring the flavor of his favorite dessert. I shiver. “I like it. Suits you. So Tatum, dinner? I could take you out somewhere nice. Or we can get take out. Whatever you like.” He’s confident. Charming. Wildly handsome. I don’t think it even occurs to him that I might say no.
“As lovely as that sounds, I can’t. Thanks anyway.” I turn once again, not wanting to see the rejected look on his face, but Declan isn’t the kind of Alpha that gives up easily. He moves quickly, putting himself in front of me without touching me, demanding my attention with his massive muscular body one last time.
“Alright, Tatum. Can I get your number? So we can get to know one another, and if it’s still a no in a few weeks, I’ll take the hint.”
I snort and lift my brow at him. “The same way you’re taking the hint right now?”
He grins, but the look in his eyes is full of dark and dirty promises. He’s used to getting his way, probably especially with Omegas. “Fair enough, Little Omega. Fine. I’ll give you my number, and you can text me if you change your mind.”
I don’t point out that him giving me his number is still him refusing to take a hint.
Before I can even respond, he’s taking my hand in his and writing on my skin with a pen I didn’t see him pull out. I giggle again, shaking my head. Honestly, I might text him after this. Just for fun. He said if I say no in a few weeks, he’ll take the hint. Is there any harm in letting him shoot his shot until he gets bored and moves on?
“You’re persistent.”
“You’re entirely too beautiful to walk away from without at least trying to convince you to go out with me.”
His smile is alluring and draws me in a little too well. Jeez, I must be more lonely than I realized. I mean, Alphas try to flirt with me at the diner all the time, and I usually just deflect.
They never smell right. Their scents are always too strong, and not in a good way. Sometimes they remind me of rotten eggs or gasoline. Or their Alpha instincts are so dominant that my inner Omega cowers in their presence. I like when an Alpha takes charge, or I did once… Now, I’m not sure what I like.
Maybe I like to be chased or talked into it a little bit. Or maybe I’m just avoidant. I like that Declan wants to get to know me. That he’s willing to be told no, but doesn’t get aggressive. Just more playful.
Not enough to let this go further than flirting, but I’m not too proud to admit I enjoy his attention.
Sometimes, just the sight of an Alpha is enough to set off alarm bells.
Not Declan, though. He’s calming and almost soothing to my instincts. He puts me at ease in a way I never thought I’d experience again. Which means I need to be very careful not to get close to this man.
But hell. Now that I’ve gotten the tiniest glimpse of some positive attention, I already know I’ll get easily sucked into his orbit.
I’m on suppressants. I won’t go into heat, and even though they don’t entirely curb my natural instincts or prevent me from feeling arousal at all, they will dampen those reactions. Stop me from getting so lost in lust and desire that I jump into this Alpha’s arms, and climb him like a tree until he knots me.
I’m not that desperate.
“Have a good day, Declan.” I pull my hand away, and this time, I don’t stop at the sound of his voice.
“See you soon, Tatum.” His words are that low honey rumble again, leaving me feeling like he just caressed my core with his vow.
I ignore the annoying ache in my chest reminding me I’m sad and alone, and that I’ve been sad and alone ever since I lost my best friend, as I search for something in my budget to wear.
Walking along the aisles, the price tags have my anxiety rising. Most of the silk and lace garments that catch my eye cost way more money than I have, and I need to make it stretch as far as possible. Biting my lip, I notice a section of the store that has obviously been marked down. It takes half an hour, but I finally pick an outfit and head to check out.
Everything I grabbed was half off. I wanted to grab more, but the twenty dollars in my pocket isn’t going to stretch that far. As it is, the outfit, platform heels, and sparkly tights I picked out might go over the limit.
I greet the girl behind the counter, smiling at her as if that will somehow make the total sway my way. “Hi!” I read her tag, and add, “Stacy.”
Stacy gives me a cringy sort of smile back and wordlessly checks me out. She looks me up and down like she can’t understand why I’m buying these items. Her own outfit consists of a black blazer with a red bustier and tight black jeans. That level of glam must be needed to work here. Or maybe she always dresses like this? How nice would it be to work somewhere that allows you to be yourself?
“Job interview,” I explain with a huffy half laugh.
When she rings up the total, and then zeros out the register, I frown. But seeing as I can’t think of anything worse than questioning the way someone does their own job, I keep my mouth shut, right up until she hands me three bags.
She’s turning away from the register and lifting her cell phone when I find my voice.
“Sorry, I don’t want to be a bother, but I didn’t pay for these.” I frown, and she shrugs, not even looking up at me as she blows a bubble with her gum.
“Declan took care of it. You’re good to go,” she says after it’s clear I’m not going to leave until she explains.
She picks up her iced coffee, takes a sip, and keeps her eyes trained on her phone. I have nothing to say to that, and I don’t want to argue, so I nod. “Okay then.”