Chapter 62
chapter
sixty-two
The word surreal may lose all meaning to me after today.
I thought I understood what I was forfeiting when the doctors said I would never have mates. I thought I knew .
But nothing could have prepared me for this .
Because it feels…
The same.
I loved them an hour ago, and I love them now. Their scents have spoken to me for as long as I’ve known each of them… and they still do.
The only difference is me . Listening to the piece of myself I’ve denied for so long.
I was afraid of her, I think. Scared to feel this soul-consuming want. Terrified that wishing and hoping would only lead to more of the pain I’d pushed down my entire life.
Never quite right. Too big and bright. Too strong and sharp.
Not just my scent, either.
I told myself I was better than all of that. Above it. But really, this whole time, I was hurting myself. Punishing my Omega for wanting things the rest of the world told me I couldn’t have.
It was never her fault.
Or mine.
But I let fear control my whole relationship with an essential part of myself. I wrote her off as some flighty, stupid, insane voice. I hated her for needing things because, deep down, I was scared I needed those things, too.
These things.
The security of Adrian at my back. Solid and steady. So warm. Literally vibrating with approval and strength.
Dante, grinning like a lunatic and gazing at me with the craziest gleam in his dark eyes. Like the rest of the world has gone up in a plume of smoke—and he’s glad . Elated only to see me. Sense me. Want me .
Colt, too. His intense stare is so much more intent than I’ve ever seen it. Pouring pure, undiluted devotion into my body. Even from across the room.
And Jesse. Lunging in a blur of black fabric and golden hair. Arrowing toward me like he’ll punch a hole in the fabric of time before he slows down.
A sane person would be afraid, but whatever scraps of sanity I have left are history the moment I gasp, inhaling…
Them .
All four of them. Together. A combination I’ve surely breathed a hundred times, but this time… I’m listening , tuned in to the way my Omega scrabbles. Begging me to let them come , let them bite us, bond us.
Please, our mates!
Every muscle below my waist gels and squelches. Perfume pours off me in a wave of—oh.
Oh .
It isn’t bitter or acidic. It isn’t even sharp. No. I smell… tart and sweet and smooth ?
Adrian’s body stiffens behind me, the iron ridge of his cock pressing into my backside as Colt snarls . He and Dante both snap straight, then follow Jesse, approaching with glimmering eyes and clenched jaws.
But their rutting packmate finally reaches me.
And crumples to the ground.
“Omega,” he pants, pained and dazed.
His hands find my hips, fisting the fabric. I remember Adrian’s rut, bracing. Waiting for this out-of-his-mind alpha to tear my dress off. Instead, he sloughs out a growly groan and buries his face against my belly.
I feel his lips through the silky fabric. Skimming and nipping at me. His fingers blanch as he holds my sides, jostling us both with his quivers.
“O-omega?”
Hearing the way his voice stutters, I realize he’s confused. If his last coherent thought was truly that he was about to lose me… or hurt me…
I weave my fingers into his hair and let myself purr for him. The sound is dainty and pitiful, but he reacts as if I’ve just sucked his raging cock into my mouth, moaning plaintively, loud and low, into my soft stomach rolls.
People are watching and whispering, but it’s impossible to care. Especially when Dante and Colt slot into place at my sides.
My injured alpha seems wary of his rutting packmate, casting Jesse a sideways look before cupping my face. Jesse is too far gone to notice, even when Dante slides his arms under my bust and squeezes me.
“ Querida ,” he whispers, dropping a reverent kiss to my bare shoulder. “I missed you so damn much.”
My mind feels fuzzy, lagging as I process his words. He’s missed me for the last few days. And that’s what he wanted to tell me first .
Colt sees everything, those gray eyes flickering with his uncanny ability to read my thoughts. “You were already ours,” he murmurs, scent-marking my temple. “This just makes us yours.”
He’s… right . They wanted me when they thought I wasn’t their mate. And now? They’re looking at me exactly the same way they did before.
Oh God, is this all my fault ?
Jesse’s Alpha senses the bittersweet turn of my thoughts and moans again. I whine at the needy grimace on his face, guilt swarming my stomach. Adrian’s arm tightens at my waist, his purr deepening. “Shh, it’s alright, sweetheart. No one is mad at you.”
“B-but I could’ve—I didn’t?—”
Colt hums, his own chest expanding on a rusty rattle. “You didn’t know, baby. None of us did. Something must have changed for you today, right? Something new or different?”
I turn to him, gazing into blazing gray and attempting to muddle through the blurry fog encroaching from the corners of my mind. “I—Adrian set up a spa day with the girls at a really nice salon Alicia made me avoid… And this dress actually fits me and looks decent?—”
Dante’s quiet, biting snarl cuts me off. My lips twitch shakily as I correct, “Looks good on me. I forgot my de-scenter, and my heat is coming, but…”
I didn’t have de-scenter on every minute of every day for the last couple of months. And my pre-heat perfume started well before they left for their away game this week.
Colt waits patiently, staring steadily into my eyes while I ponder. Jesse bites the fleshy part of my hip through my dress, and my pussy squeezes. Memories fly by faster, running together as my haze thickens.
Stumbling out of the salon in my heels. Laughing and taking selfies with the girls in the limo. Pulling up the venue and ? —
That new, beautiful perfume winds into the air again. Just a little—a single thread, maybe. But it’s enough.
I freeze. So do all my alphas. Until Adrian uses his free hand to cup my jaw, angling my face toward his.
“Tell me,” he intones. So smooth and approving, I wonder if he hasn’t already guessed what I’m about to say.
A whimper catches in my throat, turning my voice into a rasp. “W-when I got out of the car, I looked around at everything and felt… really proud. Of myself.”
I sense Adrian, Dante, and Colt absorbing my words. They all move at the same moment, each of them getting their hands on me however they can, with Jesse nosing at my core.
“You should be so damn proud !” Dante crows, pressing more kisses to my shoulder. “This event is incredible !”
“ You are incredible,” Adrian agrees. “We are so fucking proud of you, little blue.”
Colt’s gaze snags mine again, glowing so fiercely he doesn’t have to speak at all. I see that he gets it.
He knows it’s never been about compliments or praise—because they’ve all given me those. It was me, not letting myself hear them or believe any of it. Me, telling myself that everything I accomplished was no big deal. My sacrifices didn’t matter all that much. I was fine. Fine .
Then they came along. And started to catch how I spoke about myself. To myself.
None of them pushed or shamed me or tried to make me feel worse. But in their own ways, they all showed me how I should be treated, even within my own body.
They changed me .
Or maybe… I changed me.
Which reminds me of the one other change I decided on today. Gazing to Adrian over my shoulder, I admit, “There was one other thing. Back at the salon, and again when I arrived here… I was thinking of you guys. As my pack . Calling you that, in my mind.”
Dante’s arms hug me tighter as Adrian flashes his sexy smile. “Because that’s exactly what we are,” he confirms, kissing my forehead. “ Your pack .”
A cloud of tart sweetness warms the air surrounding us, my perfume unleashed in another tidal wave of lemon cream. Jesse growls another groan, huddling close and wrapping his arms around my thighs in a vise. Adrian’s purr stutters on a deep hum.
Dante practically sobs, dropping his forehead to my shoulder. “ Goddamn it , cupcake. Warn a man so he doesn’t come in his pants.”
Colt just smiles. His rare, smoldering grin. So heart-stoppingly sincere and teasing and intensely beautiful, I perfume again .
The whole world tilts. A thick mist settles over my thoughts, burying whatever logical pieces I had left. Leaving me untethered, with four sets of arms anchoring me to the earth.
The stormy-eyed alpha’s lips twitch higher. “I think it’s time we get out of here,” he says, glancing at the others. “I want my mate.”