Chapter 21
chapter
twenty-one
I can still taste Serena.
Warm and tropical, but cool and sweet. A rainforest as green as those wide, gorgeous eyes. A paradise every bit as lush as the glory I found between her thighs.
Mate, mate, mate .
My mind chants, my teeth throbbing along with my knot.
It helps that she’s still soaked onto my lips. The luscious sweetness honeys every breath I take, sinking into my lungs while they vibrate on rough purrs.
It should be perfect.
But the look on her face is killing me. And the fact that she’s apologizing for the single greatest moment of my entire life feels like a gut-punch.
My Alpha’s urgent need to care for her ramps up. The only thing I can think of is food. She must be starving, and the sandwich I made her is untouched.
In the pale moonlight, those emerald eyes are Serena’s only spot of color. So big. So bright. The rest of her looks puny and downright colorless by comparison—dark features and ashen brown skin.
Getting something in her belly suddenly feels more important than breathing. I hustle, lurching toward the bed, and she?—
Cowers .
Crouching down into the mattress, with her baggy sleeves piled over her face and head. A whine shatters the air.
Avery and I both go still, staring at each other. It’s honest to God the first moment I’ve ever seen fear in his eyes. And also the first time he’s ever voluntarily looked to me for help.
I’m not sure how I know what she needs, but I do.
Moving slowly, I lower myself into the mountain of pillows stacked behind her. Reaching over, I gently stroke my palm along her trembling back.
“Come here, omega.”
She shakes harder, peeking at me with one eye. “I—I’m sorry. I—I?—”
She thinks I want to punish her somehow. For needing relief while my pack leader tended her bite mark. The claim he made without her permission .
The need to protect her—from any other harm, from her own misplaced shame —vibrates in my blood. My purr revs louder as the hand on her spine slips lower. In one motion, I scoop her straight into my arms.
Avery goes stiff, watching me warily, but my Alpha isn’t concerned. His intuition blurs with mine, smoothing the edges of my purr while I hold her against my chest .
She’s so light; it’s a miracle she hasn’t blown away. She needs to eat now . But I want her to feel relaxed first.
Soothing sounds blend with my purr while I cuddle her tenderly, waiting for her body to realize she isn’t in danger. Not with me.
The second my chest touches the side of her face, her whine dies. A shudder of pleasure rolls through her, but it still feels like she’s bracing.
My purr rolls on anyhow. Serena’s shakes turn into shivers. When she sniffles, I realize she isn’t just quivering; she’s crying . And trying to hide it.
“Aww, baby,” I whisper, folding her closer. “You don’t have to hide how upset you are. Get it out.”
The poor sweet thing deserves to cry as much as she wants. She’s been through hell. And then the guy who was supposed to help her hurt her. If she feels like wailing for a week, I’ll stay here in her bed the whole time.
I run both of my hands over her skin, skimming her thigh and her back. Feeling how unbelievably small and fragile she seems against all my brawn.
My purr deepens, and she sways, letting her weight press into me. Her wet face finds its way between my pecs, nuzzling closer while her breathing hitches. I cup the back of her head, petting the thick black hair.
“I can take it,” I promise, nestling my face into her crown. “Just leave it all with me.”
I might not be as refined as Tris or Spence; and maybe she didn’t click with me the same way she clicked with Avery. But Serena hides her sobs against the middle of my chest, soaking her tears into my sternum.
And it’s enough for me to know that I’m never letting go.
I’m going to owe Avery for this later.
When Serena finally cried herself out, he whispered something into her ear and shot me a meaningful look while he vaulted out of bed.
Meaningful—as in, “Don’t fuck this up or I’ll kill you and have fun doing it.”
I nodded as he loped out, noting the way his muscles twitched with every step. If I had to guess, I’d say he needed to blow off steam in our gym. Which, all in all, seems like a pretty healthy reaction to everything that’s happened tonight.
Part of me expects Serena to panic when he leaves, but she actually huddles closer to me. I can feel how embarrassed she is about it, though. I don’t know if it’s because of what happened in the kitchen or the fact that we were strangers just hours ago. Either way, she clearly doesn’t feel like she should be accepting comfort from me, even when her body craves it.
“You know,” I rumble quietly, doing my best not to startle her. “The doctor said you’re touch-starved.”
Her voice is small and ragged. “I don’t really know what that means.”
What sort of omega doesn’t know what touch starvation is? Worried, I hold her a bit closer and explain, “I’m not an expert like Spencer, but touch-starved omegas can get sick. Your hormones and nervous systems are out of whack. Basically, you need affection. Hugs, cuddles, back rubs. Anything that feels good.”
She curls down, the edges of her scent burning into the sweet darkness that makes my insides ache. “I guess that makes sense. I’ve always had issues with my perfume. And I don’t know if anyone else has ever hugged me before.”
My stomach caves in on itself. No one has ever hugged her? No one?
No wonder she trembles and perfumes when I run my fingers through her hair.
I can tell she’s still uncertain, though. It probably feels scary to let a strange alpha tend to her like this, but I can’t stop .
My mind reels, trying to come up with some way for her to get comfortable accepting this from me. “You know,” I start slowly. “This doesn’t have to mean anything. I’m an alpha; you’re an omega. You’re touch-starved. If you want me to help, it can be as simple as that.”
Big green eyes blink up at me, warm with gratitude and shot with slivers of fear. “Are you sure?”
For an omega who had me by the hair a few hours ago, steering my face between her thighs, she’s a shy little thing. I smile, even though my heart feels like it’s cracking. “Very sure.”
When I brush my lips along her forehead, she perfumes hard , her spine snapping straight. I run my hand along it, hoping my warmth will chase the chills away.
Before she can feel embarrassed, I hum, “Mm, manamea . Reminds me how perfect your slick tastes.”
She’s still mortified, ducking her face against my pec. “What does that word mean?” she whispers. “Y-you said it earlier, too.”
The way her voice wavers makes it seem like she might think it’s an insult of some sort. Or a taunt. I hitch her higher up my body and scent-mark her crown.
Fuck it—if I’m the one treating her touch starvation, I’m going to be thorough.
“It means sweetheart,” I admit. “It’s a Samoan word. My mother used it when I was little.”
“She’s Samoan?” she asks.
I nod, unable to contain my wistful sigh. “Yeah, she was. ”
She hears what I don’t say, squeezing me with her thin arms. “I’m sorry.”
I bury my face into her hair and inhale her. It’s insane how much it helps the ache in my chest—how absolutely right it feels to hold her this way.
“It was a while ago. Right around the time we formed our pack. She had been sick for a long time. I’m glad she isn’t suffering anymore.”
I’m also glad Serena can’t see the way I grimace before I go on, asking, “What about you, manamea ? Where are your parents?”
Her miraculous perfume somehow gets sweeter, even when she’s upset. That might make it hard for other alphas to parse her feelings, but I’m finding I can already tell the difference between arousal and distress based on how it makes me feel.
This is definitely distress. My nose itches while my insides flip.
Which makes sense as she tucks her face lower and murmurs, “My parents… I think I should probably wait and tell you all at the same time. It’s not—it’s not a nice story.”
Something in my brain snags and tears. My purr follows suit, catching when I drag in a gasp. “Did they?—”
She cuts me off, whispering, “ Please , Jo.”
The deep ripeness of shame touches her coconut creaminess again. Like it’s her fault that her parents harmed her?
But I hate how much sense that makes. She’s clearly touch-starved as hell. Underfed. And whoever she tried to get away from was keeping her locked inside.
I purr louder to cover a growl, leveraging both of us upright. Those big green eyes blink at me, her pretty face bemused as I pull her back into my lap and reach for the plate on her nightstand.
“You need to eat,” I grumble, balancing it on her legs. One of my arms bends so I can keep petting her head. My other hand snatches the grilled cheese I made and brings it to her mouth.
She nibbles at it tentatively. Her eyes go wide. “Oh my God.”
A smile breaks the tension tugging at my features. “Yeah? ”
She nods and takes a much bigger bite. “It’s so good . What is it?”
My grin stays in place, even while my brows pinch. “It’s a grilled cheese, baby. You’ve never had one before?”
She shakes her head, looking back at the plate. “Three firsts in one night,” she mumbles, “I knew professional athletes were overachievers, but this is crazy.”
I tuck a strand of her silky dark hair behind her ear, studying her profile. My cock jerks, undeterred by the fact that going down on her earlier made me come in my pants. Twice .
“Three?” I ask to distract myself. “The sandwich, the hugging, and what else?”
When her complexion warms and her gaze drops, my stomach freefalls. “Wait. What I did in the kitchen, was that your first?—?”
She chokes on a laugh. “Oh. No. I mean, not really. I’m not a virgin or anything. I only—well, no one had ever, um, gone down there?—”
She cuts herself off, cheeks visibly darker. “Have I mentioned how sorry I am about that?”
I decide I’m going to scent-mark her every single time she seems embarrassed. While I nuzzle my forehead into hers, I reply, “I’m not. Best thing I’ve ever tasted. I can’t wait until you need me again.”
She frowns a little, looking adorable. “You don’t have to do that for me again. I’m sure it’s… weird? And I basically made you...” Something suddenly makes her eyes leap wide. “Oh God, I didn’t even offer to do anything for you, did I? Do you—Should I?—”
Sweetheart . I press a soft kiss to her lips, holding just long enough to calm her down. When I pull back, all I see is the honest panic all over her face.
She’s really scared . Because she thinks she didn’t please me?
I cup my hands around her face. “Kissing your sweet pussy is my new favorite thing to do,” I husk. “So anytime you want me to do it again, please fucking tell me. And I don’t want you to worry about repaying me. At all. Okay?”
We have plenty of time. Forever, if we can convince her to stay. We’ll get to me when the time is right.
Her pupils expand, telling me that her Omega is watching. Which explains why her voice shakes again. “Y-you don’t want me?”
I hug her hard. “ Of course I want you. But I get the feeling that no one’s ever made it all about you . And I want to be the man who does that, okay?”
I’m also a lot bigger than most guys. If the way she strangled my fingers earlier is any indication, she’ll need to work up to taking me.
Which just means more of her sweetness on my tongue. And more time to learn all about her.
I might be the luckiest alpha in the world.
She still doesn’t seem like she quite believes me, but that’s no problem. I’ll prove it to her. Thinking so, I pick up the other half of her sandwich and lull her back into my arms.
While she eats, I tell her about our big backyard and pool. She must like that idea because her scent gets lighter and brighter by the second. When I mention the overgrown garden and she actually smiles , I decide that will be my first project for her.
After she’s done eating, she can barely keep her eyes open. I tuck her into her bed, arranging everything so she’ll be comfortable and leaving her the clothes we gathered so she’ll have our pack’s scents on her sheets.
She’s already dozing when I pull the comforter up to her chin and bend to kiss her forehead. “I’m sorry that it happened like this,” I whisper against her skin, hoping she’ll hear me. “But finding you was my dream.”