Chapter 34
chapter
thirty-four
Wherever I am, it’s dark.
I can tell before I even open my eyes that the sun has set and I’m inside. Probably somewhere in the pack house because, through the crack in my eyelids, I feel like the walls are all kinds of black.
I’m also… wet ?
But not in a sexy way.
“—but the sample was not considered statistically significant.”
The low voice speaks in the crisp cadence of someone reading aloud. While it goes on, reciting variables from a research study, something smooths over my head in rhythmic strokes.
A page turns. The dim light seeping through my eyelids flickers. I inhale, filling my lungs with sudsy lavender and the fresh scent of rain.
Spencer.
And he’s touching me .
After the way he’s dodged all physical contact, that’s surprising enough to turn my head and open my eyes. I find him sitting on a short wooden stool with a thick book spread open in his lap. He looks as coiffed as ever, but somehow more intimate.
Maybe because the sleeves of his white dress shirt are rolled up his impressively vascular forearms. When I look closely, I see that his silvery-blond hair is hanging a bit looser than usual, with one lock curled over his forehead. He also has a pair of frameless glasses balanced on his nose.
I must be in his bathtub because I don’t recognize the grand, onyx bathroom. It’s almost as big as the one attached to the Omega Suite, but this one has an egg-shaped soaking tub. No jets, but enough depth to give me the illusion of privacy.
Of course, someone must have put me in here…
When he catches me staring, he pauses his reading and slowly retracts the hand resting on my head. His gaze narrows, assessing my expression before he finally says, “You’re awake.”
For some reason, hearing someone as articulate as Spencer say something so painfully obvious makes me smile. Well, almost. My lips curl up a little as I sink into the warm water and the thin layer of bubbles floating on top.
He notices the shyness in my posture and clears his throat, straightening up a bit and removing his reading glasses. “Tristan opened your half-bond to try to show you something and you lost consciousness.” He clears his throat and adds, almost defensively, “That’s very normal for omegas who find their?—”
“Mates. ”
It’s the first time I’ve said the word. And the only one I’ve ever said to him .
He blinks, throat working. “Yes,” he rasps. “Mates.”
Who knows if it’s the passing-out thing or the fact that I feel so emotionally drained. It could be that, after finally telling them all my horrible truths, nothing else can touch me.
Hell, maybe this lavender aromatherapy really works.
Whatever the reason, I feel calm. More words float out easily.
“Did you not want a mate?”
It seems like a sensible question to me. After all, he clearly doesn’t like having me in their house. And he didn’t choose this.
Or me.
But he’s so obviously thrown by my question that it’s almost funny. He opens his mouth and shuts it twice before finally admitting, “No. I didn’t.”
With a nod, I sink lower. “I get that.”
Odd, disbelieving silence stretches over us. Blond brows crunch over those dark, endless eyes. “You… do?”
I snort, accidentally blowing bubbles into my own face. “Yeah,” I mumble, wiping at my nose. “Don’t get me wrong—a pack of big, strong alphas to save me was my dream for a long time, but once I actually met some alphas… No offense, but they were overwhelmingly horrible. The idea of being saddled to a bunch for all eternity because they liked the way I smelled was my worst nightmare.”
My lips twist in a rueful smirk as I turn back to him. “Joke’s on me, huh?”
Here I am, thinking I’m being blasé and maybe a tiny bit charming—but Spencer stares at me so intensely, I swear the flesh on my face melts a little. He has a way of looking right through people that’s so unnerving.
I shrink back a little, and his jaw clenches. But his voice is even. “It must have been difficult. Having someone you trusted turn on you like that. ”
It’s a strained attempt at empathy. Unnatural for him, I think. But he’s trying. So I feel like I sort of have to answer.
I lean my head back along the edge of the tub and stare up at the patterns glowing overhead, echoes of the candles flickering on the counter. “The hardest part has been trying to forgive myself for how stupid I was. Accepting that I was so clueless for so long.”
Spencer makes a low humming sound and dips a washcloth into the water. He hovers over my arm for a long moment before blowing out a breath and running it over my skin, his eyes snapping back to mine. “How did you finally figure out you were trapped?”
I cringe lower, feeling a pang of embarrassment for the first time since waking up here. I want to lie, but it’s impossible with him staring into me like that.
“There was a storm one day,” I whisper, dropping my gaze to the bubbles. “When I was a girl, I—playing outside in the rain was one of my favorite things. And, one day, I tried to remember the last time I’d felt the rain on my skin, but I couldn’t. So, I tried to leave the club, to go outside. For the rain. And I wasn’t allowed to.”
Spencer’s mind doesn’t work like the others. Instead of crumpling in pity, his face stays smooth while he processes. And then he says, “I smell like rain.”
Why does this uptight, intimidating alpha saying all the wrong things make me want to smile ? I bite my lower lip and hum, “Mmhmm. You sure do.”
His brows drop again, furrowing while he ponders that and glides the washcloth up to my shoulder. “Was he planning something else for you, if you hadn’t gotten away?”
I’m grateful the bath covers the way shame swirls into my scent.
“I think he originally planned to—” I turn my face away. “Lend me out. Or have me dance. But then my designation came in, and once the hormones hit… I don’t know what happened, but my perfume made them all rabid . ”
Spencer shifts, clearly uncomfortable but listening closely.
“Wally decided he could make more off me if he used me for enticement instead of letting other alphas sully my scent. So, every night, I had to walk around in the skimpiest outfits he could find, serving drinks and letting alphas paw at me while I passed.”
The man next to me stifles a growl, letting me finish. “I did that for a long time. Then, I found out that he had big plans for my twenty-fifth birthday.”
For some reason, I feel the need to turn back and look at him as I finish, “An auction.”
Spencer is quick. It takes him less than a second to understand. “For you,” he realizes. “He was going to let packs bid on you?”
My head falls back while my eyes slide shut. I nod, feeling oddly hollow. “During my next heat, so I wouldn’t put up a fight. I guess he thought I was getting too old.”
Like I said—I can sniff out an angry alpha from a mile away. Traditionally, those were the ones who wanted to hurt me. Of course, none of them were allowed to—other than Wally.
But he isn’t here now. And a shiver skirts down my spine as Spencer’s scent darkens.
His voice sounds jagged. “These scars… Did they all come from him?”
I laugh, but it’s a bleak sound. “No. He wanted me to be pretty , so he mostly kept his hands off me. Except for the times I tried to get away and he had to teach me a lesson. A few of the scars are from that. But most of them are my own fault.”
Beside me, Spencer has gone unnaturally still, his chest barely even rising on shallow breaths. When I meet his eyes, they’re dark oceans. I suddenly feel like I’m in a confessional… but I know I need to finish the story. To have it all out there, once and for all.
“When my heats came,” I whisper, “he would put me in a room with food and water and leave me there for the week. Alone. I still don’t know what my Omega did or why, but every time I woke up, I had new injuries. ”
His brows pinch, and his hand rises from my shoulder. He holds it near my face for a beat before setting it on the crown of my head, sifting my hair back.
“I’m sorry,” he roughs out, snapping those never-ending eyes to mine. “For many things. But especially that you ever felt pain like that.”
I don’t know how I can tell what he isn’t saying. It’s a murky instinct, indistinct and halting, but I feel so sure .
He knows what it’s like to have someone he trusted hurt him, too. And he knows what it’s like when you hurt yourself .
“My father wanted alpha sons,” Spencer tells me, turning for the washcloth again. He carefully picks up my other arm, sending a rush of tingles to my fingertips.
“ Only alpha sons. He came from a long line of them, in a family with a lot of money and no regard for omegas whatsoever. They were breeding vessels to the Thornes and nothing more.
“When I was young, though, my personality concerned him. I was quiet, and I preferred hiding in my room to being around others. When he began to suspect I might be an omega, he was horrified. Once Tris left for college, he spent the next four years bringing in omegas to try to entice my Alpha out of hiding… and, when that didn’t work, attempting to beat the weakness out of me.”
A terribly wry smile curves his mouth. “I still hate that it worked.”
When I make a face, his expression smooths back into its usual mask. “Not really, of course. Environment has no bearing on our designations—a fact my research has all but proven—but he still got what he wanted when I designated as an alpha after all. And that’s always rankled me.”
Of course Spencer felt drawn to studying designations after enduring all of that. And he set out to prove that what his father attempted to do to him couldn’t be done. Probably in the hope that his research might prevent others from repeating those sins.
For a moment, I try to come up with something to say back. But my Omega makes one of her rare appearances, peeking out at him. She nudges me, showing me what we should do, projecting calm certainty that seeps into my center.
So, I don’t speak. Instead, I lift a wet hand out of the bathwater and carefully skim my fingers over his forearm, looking into his eyes.
I’m sorry , I tell him silently. There was never anything wrong with you.
The intensity shifting in his depths sparkles while the rest of his face falls slack. Awe and a dark flame ignite in his irises. His other hand flies up, long fingers wrapping around my elbow.
My Omega may be sure, but I’m not. I’m thinking he’ll toss me back into the water and storm out.
But, instead, he growls, “ Serena .”
Then hauls me up, bubbles and all, into a kiss.