Chapter 58
chapter
fifty-eight
For the first time ever, I wake up in my nest.
It’s a relief, honestly.
The plants overhead absorb most of the sunlight glowing dimly behind the tinted dome above me. Above us .
Because Tristan is still here. Spooning me so thoroughly, there isn’t a single place we aren’t touching. Not one single place —because he’s also, still, very much inside me.
We fell asleep knotted together, but we aren’t anymore. Now, as he sleeps, the thick swell that locked us together has gone down. He’s still a semi-hard, weighty stretch in my pussy, though . Coated in a thin layer of my slick, with his balls nestled firm and heavy between my lower lips.
The second I snuggle back into him, solid arms flex around my body. “Mm,” he hums, voice rough with sleep. “Sweetest fucking thing. Good morning, baby.”
The way he rasps reminds me how loud we were last night. A flutter of chagrin flits through me while I hide my face against the nearest pillow. “Morning…”
It’s hard to stay embarrassed when the gentle glow of adoration rolls through him, funneling into me. He huddles closer, finding his mark and brushing a soft kiss over the fresh bruises layered on top.
An awkward giggle clogs my throat. “I was really into you biting that last night, huh?”
His chest rumbles on a growly purr. “Did you hear me complaining?”
No, I heard him roaring every time he went over the edge. And felt, bit by bit, some deep pain inside of him easing.
I couldn’t focus on it while we were all wrapped up in each other, but now, with the periwinkle morning light streaming in and a songbird warbling somewhere nearby, I close my eyes and try to stumble my way through the half-bond.
It definitely doesn’t feel natural, the way I imagine full bonds do. But I can still get a sense of what’s going on. And under all the happiness and relief floating there, I find the point of connection, where we’re partially tied together.
And it hurts .
I know Spencer told me not having me during his rut would be painful for Tristan, but it never occurred to me…
“Tris,” I whisper, clutching his forearm. “You’re in pain .”
For a moment, he seems genuinely confused. He lets me turn as much as I can in his grasp, slipping out of my wetness and frowning down in consternation.
When I brush my fingertips over the place above his stomach, below his lungs, he understands. A crease rumples his brow. “It actual ly doesn’t hurt right now. Not nearly as much as usual, anyway.”
He thinks he’s comforting me, but I’m horrified. When he feels my blood turn to ice in my veins, he blows out a breath and settles on the mattress beside me.
“I guess I didn’t want to think about how bad it had gotten,” he admits. “It’s been progressively worse, but nothing compared to how it feels when I have to be away from you physically. I’ve been working from home because the few times I tried to go in…”
He cringes slightly. “Between the pain and the way I can sense your… urges —it was very difficult to get anything done.”
Tris must feel me preparing to apologize because his scent smolders slightly. “Don’t apologize for that, omega,” he murmurs. “If I hadn’t been fighting myself every step of the way, I would have loved that part.”
That part; because the other part is some worse version of this pulling, pinching pain .
“Tristan,” I whisper. “Why didn’t you tell me how badly this was harming you? I never would have let you hurt like this.”
He gathers me into his side and kisses my forehead. “That’s exactly why I didn’t want to tell you, sweet one, or let you into my half of the bond. My pain was never your burden. It’s the consequence of what I did. I never wanted you to feel pressured to complete the bond because of guilt.”
And I want to argue with him… but I already see his point. Because I don’t feel quite ready to bite him, but the impulse is there, thick enough to block the air from reaching my lungs.
I know I’m going to complete this bond, now, right? So what’s the harm in doing it today? Putting him out of this misery?
But Tristan feels everything I do now, and an answering flare of outrage fires in his gut.
“ No ,” he barks quietly. “ Absolutely not. If you want to complete the bond, we’ll do it during your heat, when you’re ready. Not randomly. And never because you’re worried about me. I’ll be fine.”
It isn’t a lie because he believes it. But I sense the doubt lurking underneath his optimism. The fear.
He refuses to lose me by keeping me.
But will that mean I lose him ?