Chapter 60
chapter
sixty
My sweet baby is in so much pain, and her heat hasn’t even started yet.
I do my utmost to keep everything on my side of the bond calm and smooth, purring as evenly as I can while I rock her in my lap.
“Shh,” I murmur. “I know it hurts, baby. I know. The heating pad is almost ready.”
Spencer did an incredible job making sure we had everything we could possibly need to keep her as comfortable as possible.
True to form, he left detailed instructions with each item. His tilted script says the heating pad should be 114 degrees and applied directly over her lower abdomen in twenty-minute intervals.
His asterisk almost makes me laugh.
*May be combined with easing for maximum effect .
Jonah would have thought that was hilarious.
I’m surprised how bittersweet this all feels. Our omega, going into heat. Knowing she will definitely bond with the others. Not knowing what will happen with us.
As much as I want us to have a pack bond, I don’t think I can let her do that for me. She needs to be one hundred percent sure. She shouldn’t feel any pressure at all—which is just impossible, as it stands.
I’ll have to have a talk with the guys once the heat sets in for real. I don’t want any of them to pressure her, either. Even inadvertently.
It will be the hardest on Spencer. He and I have been through everything together—and he’s the one with the best understanding of just how hellacious this half-bond has been for me. After her heat passes, if we aren’t completely bonded, he says the pain will increase exponentially.
I can’t quite fathom that, so I focus on the other hurt rolling around my middle; the thought of never having a pack bond with the guys.
We didn’t plan to have one at all, so it isn’t as though I’ll be giving up some lifelong dream. But I’ve realized more and more over the last few weeks, while we’ve dedicated ourselves to our love for Serena, we’re not nearly as strong a pack as we could have been. And I regret that immensely, because each of these alphas has made me so proud to be their leader.
Serena whimpers in my arms just as the heating pad beeps. It’s cordless, thanks to Spencer’s forethought. I slip it right under her dress, nuzzling the side of her head as I whisper directions.
“Arms up. I’m going to put you in one of Jo’s T-shirts, okay? If it isn’t warm enough, I also have one of Avery’s hoodies here. ”
She nods, letting me maneuver her arms and torso until she’s snuggled into her layers. I tuck her into her bed and pull the sheets up, trapping most of her mind-melting perfume under the duvet so I can keep a clear head.
I’ve already alerted Myles to the situation. Aside from making any necessary food deliveries, he’ll be steering clear of the house altogether. In the meantime, he’ll inform my aides, Jonah’s coach, and Spencer’s TA’s not to expect any of us until next week.
Serena is my sole focus. I take her temperature and brush out her hair, quietly telling her any funny pack stories I can think of. Like the time we tried to take a road trip and Spencer developed a tick in his eye after three hours of listening to Ave and Jonah bicker. And the one wedding we all attended as a pack, where a much younger, much scarier Avery accidentally panicked the bride and she fell into her own cake.
Serena’s little giggles fill me with satisfaction so much sweeter than her scent. For a long moment, while her chuckles die down, we just stare at each other. Our eyes lock in the low light of her celestial bedroom.
“Tris,” she whispers, gazing up at me. “Come here for a second?”
She frowns and points at her nape, like maybe some of her hair is tangled in her hummingbird necklace. I lean around her to investigate, my focus trained on the thin gold chain.
It looks fine to ? —
Every single thought I’ve ever had evaporates.
Because her teeth have found my neck. And they sink right into it, breaking the skin once and for all.