Chapter 39
I was a puddle of lust melted all over Maverick, Kit’s knot buried in my pussy. My brain was closer to a bowl of soup than a functional organ, turning soupier every time anyone shifted. Ryder laid his arm over my back and gently tucked my hair away from my face before resting his forehead against mine.
“Best dinner delay ever,” he said with a laugh. “You doing okay, firecracker?”
I managed a brief thumbs-up.
“Let’s get some dinner into you.” Maverick stroked a soft hand over my hair.
Bear appeared with a damp cloth to clean my skin before Maverick sat up carefully, Kit keeping a firm grip on my hips and drawing me back onto his lap.
My pack cleaned up themselves and the table from our escapades, and then brought the food over.
“Having guests is gonna put a real damper on the spontaneous fucking,” said Maverick, grinning at me.
“We have to get in some extra before then to make up for it.” I settled in, resting my arms on the table to keep a comfortable angle while I was on Kit’s knot.
Bear tapped me on the shoulder, his eyes full of fire when I looked over. “We don’t deserve how perfect you are.”
“We’re not talking about deserving right now because I’m pretty sure my brain is never going to let me accept that I deserve to be taken care of.”
I didn’t love the tension that suddenly formed in all of them at my words, but my statement was true nonetheless. Maybe one day that would change, but not today.
They didn’t fight me on it, but they did make sure they were all touching me while we ate. Kit drew designs on my back with his fingertips; Bear sat to one side, keeping his hand laced through my hair; Maverick sat across from me with my feet on his lap; and Ryder sat at the head of the table, his palm on my arm.
Fighting with my own brain was weird. I couldn’t even use the argument that they thought I deserved more, and there were more of them than me so they were probably right. If I fell into that trap, I’d get buried alive by how many of my brothers thought I was a waste of space if I wasn’t directly serving their needs.
Bear’s thumb brushed over my cheek, soft affection flowing through the bond from him. I took a deep breath and reached for him, letting the feel of his lips on mine distract me from the well of self-loathing trying to overflow from my past to my present.
He was so sweet to me. With the bond I couldn’t doubt how he felt, not when it was broadcast with all the clarity of a neon sign through our connection. Would I feel differently about myself if I shared that connection with the others too?
Having a full stomach, my alphas’ scents in my nose, and their hands on my skin helped a lot. In some ways I struggled with that too. They had done well with keeping each other from bonding me, and the next time I went through a heat they would know not to take the risk of leaving me alone with one of them before we could guarantee it was over.
Bear’s affection grew warmer, wrapping around me. Was it selfish of me to crave that assurance? We were trapped with each other and my opposition to it melted away the longer we were together.
One of the multitude of reasons I’d been afraid to share a heat with the other alphas in my proximity growing up was because I knew deep down they wouldn’t have had the restraint my pack did. They wouldn’t have been gentle, would’ve probably gotten mad at me to feel my discomfort in the bond, and I’d have had to deal with feeling the truth of how little regard they had for me. None of the alphas from before wanted me for me. I was a conquest to them, and the thought of being intimate with them made my skin crawl. I was grateful I had to be in heat to get bonded or I might’ve never escaped.
Bear pulled away, brushing tears from my cheeks.
Kit hugged me from behind. “What’s wrong?”
“Just processing.” I sighed, gaze drawn to Bear’s hands as he asked if I wanted to go upstairs. “Yes, please.”
I wiggled experimentally, finding Kit’s knot had gone down enough that I could slide off without hurting myself. Bear bundled me into his arms.
“Do you want anyone up there with you?” Ryder asked.
“Everyone?”
“Whoever you want, little fox. It’s your space.”
I swallowed hard. “Everyone,” I said more firmly.
“Get settled with Bear,” Maverick said. “We’ll clean up from dinner and be there soon.”
My probably trauma-induced independent streak demanded I get on my own two feet and walk, but I was so comfortable in Bear’s arms I couldn’t open my mouth to ask for it. I didn’t really want to; I just always felt like I had to.
Bear went on a quick detour to the study, and it took me a few moments of staring at it before I realized what he intended to show me. A fifth desk. A computer was set up along with a microphone on a boom arm.
“For me?”
Bear nodded.
“Can I go see?” I asked. Bear walked us over and set me on my feet next to the desk. “This is way nicer than what I was working with before. When did you guys even get this? You have to let me pay you back.”
He shook his head and signed, “Ryder and Maverick have money. Don’t worry about it.”
“You can’t tell me not to worry. That’s not how my brain works.”
He smiled indulgently and drew my attention back to his hands again. “Maverick has a trust fund.”
I stared at him for so long that he repeated himself. “I’m sorry, what ? Why is he living out here if he has a trust fund?”
“Because I like it.”
I turned, the rest of the pack joining us, Maverick at the lead.
“I was a country boy cursed to be born in the city,” Maverick said with a laugh.
“He funded the lodge,” said Kit. “Ryder too. Bear and I had the knowledge and connections out here. Those two had the dollars.”
“You’re under strict orders not to worry about any money we spend on you,” Maverick told me. “I promise it’s no hardship.”
I struggled with the concept. “But won’t you worry I’d bond you for the money? Isn’t that a thing people with money worry about, or is that just on TV?”
Maverick laughed. “Sweetheart, I think we all know you’d rather rip out your own fingernails than bond someone for money. You’re the polar opposite of a gold digger.”
A nervous whine dropped from my lips. My family had made a lot of money, but that didn’t mean we had much. Ten kids, five parents, and a farm burned up most of the disposable income. Maverick had bought me a professional-grade computer without even telling me. Anything I’d gotten growing up was presented to be part of a whole production where I’d have had to profusely thank whoever had deemed me worthy of some small gift.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Maverick crossed the distance between us and pulled me into a hug. “I wanted to do something nice for you. I don’t even know if I bought the right thing. I asked the people at the store to put together something that would be good for making videos.”
“Thank you.” I squeezed him tightly, trying to push back the compulsion to behave for him the way I had for my family. “It’s perfect.”
Bear tapped my shoulder, tilting his head back toward the door, and signing something to the others that I assumed was ordering us upstairs. Maverick took over carrying me, his purr rumbling as if he was just happy to touch me and not holding on to an assumption I couldn’t get there myself. It wasn’t fair to any of them how much I had to untangle inside my own head, but I was working on it.
We sprawled out on the nest, Bear on the bottom with me draped over him, Ryder and Kit to each side, and Maverick using my ass as a pillow, his hand curled over my calf.
I lost track of how long we lay there. Everyone stayed physically connected, gentle touches and soft purrs filling the quiet and calming down my overwrought nervous system.
“You all touch the same stuff, but it feels different with each of you.”
“How so?” Kit asked, lifting his head so I could get lost in the amber brown of his eyes.
“I don’t know. Everyone touches me with a different energy.”
“Think you could tell us apart with your eyes closed?” he asked.
“Scent might give you away, but I think so.”
Kit dropped his lips to my shoulder. “Care to put it to the test?”
Our combined scents blossomed around us and I offered Kit a smile. “I could be persuaded.”
Bear’s cock tented beneath me and my declaration led to me being spread out in my new nest, a blanket scented by each of them covering my eyes.
A palm moved over my thigh to grab the curve of my waist, a thumb sliding against my clit, making me twitch before gliding through my already dripping slick.
I mewled, thighs parting further until a pair of fingers teased into me. I knew the rhythm, the specific pressure and brush of calluses. “Kit?”
He chuckled, leaning down to kiss my stomach. “Correct.”
Kit slid away, letting someone else take his place.
Excitement tumbled down the bond as hands swept over my skin. I laughed. “Bear is too easy with the bond.”
He nipped my thigh, making me squeak in surprise.
Fingers plunged right into my greedy cunt and I arched off the bed.
“Fuck.” I scrunched up my forehead, concentrating. Were they not going in any order? “Um, Kit again?”
“You’re right, little fox. I didn’t want you to start figuring it out through process of elimination.”
If they were going to be sneaky, I was going to have to focus even harder. I squirmed restlessly, waiting for the next alpha and knowing immediately who it was by the sweep of his hands. “Maverick.”
“Damn, she’s good at this.”
More hands teased me, fingers plunging into me until my brain sparked. “Still—fuck—still Maverick.”
Hot lips wrapped around my nipple the same moment a hand cupped between my thighs.
“Ryder,” I gasped out.
He laughed. “It’s kind of hot you can tell us apart like this. I didn’t know we were that distinct.”
I pulled the blanket away from my eyes with a whimper. “Is someone going to fuck me or are we just playing?”
“We’ll fuck you day or night,” Ryder promised. “Just say the word.”
“Pretty sure I already did, and no one is doing anything about it.”
He pulled my hips closer, my pussy voraciously consuming every inch he offered, until I was breathless and arched off the bed. “Is that more to your liking, firecracker?”
I nodded frantically, rocking my hips to encourage him.
Bear laced his fingers through mine and drew them overhead, pressing them against the bedding. Kit and Maverick wrapped their arms around my waist, mouths descending in tandem to tease my skin.
Instinct took over. I locked my ankles behind Ryder’s back and tipped my head, demanding Bear do something to remedy my mouth being empty. Kit and Maverick took over the gentle restraint at my wrists. Bear cradled my head, cedar and woodsmoke filling my senses as his cock glided over my tongue. Maverick played with my clit, sending me over the edge in a spiral of desire.
I shivered between my alphas. Bear fucked my throat far more gently than I expected. Ryder, on the other hand, rode me like a man possessed, sending an eruption of sensation coursing through my body each time his hips met mine.
Thoughts winked out slowly. I turned into a vessel for pleasure—theirs and mine—taking everything they chose to give and letting them draw their own as they pleased.
By the time Bear spilled over my tongue, I wasn’t sure what direction was up or down anymore. I was overwhelmed and cocooned, driven relentlessly to the peak on repeat until I could barely breathe. Ryder’s knot filled me up, sending me on one final spiral before they all grew still.
Maverick ran his nose along my jaw, planting a kiss below my ear. “I’d say your new nest is officially christened.”
I let out a broken laugh, half-delirious and drunk off the pleasure they poured onto me. “I’ll fucking say.”