Chapter 5
Athousand memories hit me at once. Library discussions, first kisses hidden in the stacks, stargazing in the countryside, and hugs that felt like home.
Carter was the first person I’d ever loved, but I’d given up on all of that when Paul Decker decided I was going to be his.
I didn’t want to think about what might have happened to Carter if Paul had seen us together.
Sweet peach and rich pastry flooded my senses as I collapsed against him, melting into his arms.
I wanted to stay right there forever, buried in memories from before everything in my life had gotten so much worse.
He smelled like home.
Carter bundled me straight back inside, Bryan on his heels and closing the door behind us.
“Are you okay?” Carter set me in one of the kitchen chairs, dropping to his knees in front of me while I broke into sobs I couldn’t stop. “Shit. Hey, it’s okay, you’re safe here.”
I tipped right out of the chair and clung to him on the floor.
How had fate flung us into that ditch only to deliver me to the last person who had ever truly made me feel safe?
Paisley helpfully patted my head. “Don’t cry, Mama. Daddy doesn’t like crying.”
I’d have stopped if I could have, but something had broken inside of me and everything I’d ruthlessly shoved down since getting pregnant with Cody came flooding out in a torrent.
My brief bliss had woken Paul, his fury like a pot boiling over in the back of my mind.
No doubt he was checking in and receiving no response.
“My car,” I choked out. “We ha—we have to get it. He’ll find us. I didn’t get far enough, Carter, I didn’t—”
He hushed me softly. “My alphas are already on their way. They’ll get the car out of the ditch, and one of them can drive it back if it’s still mobile. If not, I guess they can strip the VIN and license plate to slow things down.”
“I’ll go to help,” Bryan offered. “Many hands, light work and all that.”
I dissolved again, pulling my babies into my arms while Carter held me in his.
I had never held all three of them outside of the compound walls before.
They were here, we were sheltered for the moment.
I had gotten us out, but now we had to stay that way.
This new freedom was both beautiful and terrifying.
A knock on the door caught my attention, a brown and white border collie racing inside ahead of two figures.
I couldn’t quite name the emotion that knocked the breath out of me when I saw that dog. She went straight to Nora, my toddler shrieking out happily, mispronouncing Foxy in her adorably Nora way. “Fossy!”
Slowly, I turned my gaze from the dog to the men, a cold sensation blanketing me before heat crashed into me.
“Wyatt?”
He dropped to his knees next to us. “Maisie? You got out? Shit. Obviously, but how?”
“Let’s explain later,” Carter said, interrupting. “We need to get her vehicle here without anyone seeing and get it in the garage.”
“On it,” the lone man I didn’t know said. He had a handsome face, his skin a warm, dark brown with a bit of a curly beard and eyes as gentle as Wyatt’s. “Between the truck and the tow hitch, we’ll get it dealt with.”
I gave them my keys, and while they rushed off to that task, I desperately tried to pull myself together.
“Carter,” I gasped out. “He knows we’re gone. I wanted to be in Billings before he woke up.”
“Is Daddy gonna be mad at us?” Cody asked, his whole body shaking in terror.
“We’re not going to see Daddy anymore, honey. We left.” I hadn’t really taken the time to explain to them that we’d fled and were never going back. When Cody had asked again, I’d said it was a roundabout route to the national park so he wouldn’t kick up any fuss.
“What about my field trip?” Before I could even answer, he started wailing.
Carter, bless him, was more on top of things than I was capable of being right this moment. “Hey, buddy, I’m Carter. I bet the dogs would love to play fetch with you. What do you say? Want to play with them?”
Cody collected himself enough to nod, peering at the other border collies through the screen door.
Carter gestured for the dogs, both trotting over. “When you’re done playing, we can make some hot chocolate to warm you up. Whiskey and Tango could each use a best friend since Foxtrot is already spoken for.”
Nora had her face buried against Foxtrot’s fur, fingers clutched tightly.
“More doggies?” Paisley asked, jumping up excitedly. “I want to be friends!”
Carter kissed my hair, rising to his feet, taking both Paisley’s and Cody’s hands to lead them to the door, and helping them with their coats. Two more border collies sat on the porch, black and white fur swishing in the breeze.
When my two oldest were occupied with the dogs, Carter returned, helping me to my feet. “We can sit on the porch while they play.”
I went ahead of him, Nora’s hand in mine, and he followed with two of the blankets from the couch.
My youngest didn’t fuss over putting on her coat and shoes when she felt the chill in the air, sitting to pet Foxtrot when she got outside.
Carter draped one of the blankets over my shoulders and laid the other on my lap when I sat down in one of the patio chairs.
The cool air helped, as did seeing my children being carefree for the moment.
They would adapt. It might take time, but they would, and so would I.
“So,” Carter said casually, taking my hand so I could hold it like a desperately needed lifeline, “the hair is a new look.”
I grimaced. When Carter knew me my hair had been shoulder length, brown, and wavy—now it was blonde, straight, and down to my mid-back. “Paul makes me bleach it and keep it long. I kind of hate it. I’m sorry I cried on you. Today has been a lot.”
“Don’t apologize for that. I’m so glad you ended up here so we could help. What happened? How did you get out?”
“My brother got Nora out. He’s on the run now, too, but neither of us knows where the other is.
Probably safer that way.” I huffed a sigh, adjusting the blanket to tuck tighter around myself.
“I can’t believe how fast I got derailed.
Two hours of freedom and all it took was a loose cow to almost ruin everything.
If Bryan hadn’t appeared we might’ve frozen overnight, if we didn’t get picked up and dragged back by the cops or something. ”
I sucked in a sharp breath. Paul had always told me the only way I was leaving him was in a body bag. If I went back, I wouldn’t survive it.
“You’re here now, though,” Carter said gently. “You can stay as long as you need to.”
The softness in his eyes made my fragile control fracture again.
I’d spent years wondering what my life would have been like without Paul’s interference.
Granted, I was still part of the Decker compound, and odds were low they’d have ever let me be with Carter, but the fantasy had persisted.
During more…distressing moments, I’d retreat into myself, into a place where Carter whispered words of love and promised me the world.
In time, I’d added Wyatt to that safe space in my head.
What kind of game was fate playing to have them in the same house?
“Is Wyatt your alpha?” I asked quietly, forcing my gaze back to my children.
“Yeah, he and Colt have been my bonded pack for about three years now.”
I tilted my head, turning to him again. “Not Bryan?”
“No, not yet. He’s new to the ranch, and he’s working through some things. A scent match is too complicated for him right now.”
A scent match…
“What does it feel like? The scent match,” I added for clarity. “How do you know someone is one?”
“You just have this moment where the foundation under your feet shifts, and the person in front of you becomes home.”
I swallowed hard, pulling in another shaky breath. Carter had always felt like home, but the concept of it. My actual home had never been comfortable, or a place I wanted to be. The only place I’d felt safe was by his side.
I leaned into him, breathing in his rich pastry scent of cinnamon and ripe peaches as sweet as his nature. Every molecule of my being wanted to plaster myself against him and stay right there. Things weren’t as simple now as they had been, but my life had always been a unique complication.
“He’s going to look for us.” I said it calmly, flatly, even though I knew what would happen if Paul found us.
“Doesn’t mean he’ll find you. Stay here. We have room and while we’re not quite in the middle of nowhere, we’re pretty close.”
“I can’t ask you to let us stay here.”
My fragility grew even more precarious when he cupped my cheeks, looking at me with such earnest care.
When was the last time I’d been touched with kindness, just for the sake of it?
My children touched me to the point of overstimulation, my husband touched me for his own cruel pleasure, and beyond that, affection wasn’t encouraged in the compound.
I wanted to be held, cradled, and cared for, but it had been out of reach for so long.
“You’re not asking. I’m offering. I want you to stay, and I know Wyatt will want you to, as well. The others will agree, too. Maisie, please, let us help. I couldn’t when we were kids, but I can now.”
I closed my eyes, Carter’s thumb lightly brushing my tear-streaked cheeks.
His tenderness was offset by Paul’s rage trying to tear me open from the inside.
My bond with him wasn’t new, and thankfully the intensity of it had tempered over time, but it was still there, scraping me raw like sand under my skin I could never remove.
“I’m scared,” I whispered.
“I’d be surprised if you weren’t.”
“My kids…”
“Are as welcome as you are. We can figure this out, and if you want to go somewhere else later, you can, but at least spend a couple of days to find your balance. Make decisions when you’ve eaten, slept, and gotten some distance from the compound. Stay.”
“I—I want to.”
“Then do it.”
I shook, everything in me—terror, longing, anxiety, and desire—clashing in one nausea-inducing wave. “Okay.”