Chapter 8
It didn’t do me a damn bit of good to think about the life I might’ve had with Carter if I had stayed. That hadn’t been an option. I had surrendered everything I wanted to protect him, to assume the position I always would’ve been forced into.
I was the eldest legitimate daughter of Arlon Combs.
There was no escape for me becoming property of one of the Decker boys.
I was never sure if Paul or his older brother Darrell would’ve been worse, but I always knew my life was meant to be defined by the rules laid upon me.
Escape was unheard of. Rejection was uncommon, but it did happen.
My mother had fought like hell to keep Riley’s mother out of the compound no matter what my father did to push back on her behavior.
The only other case I knew of was a man who had questioned too much and been locked out of the compound that winter.
They had found him frozen halfway to town.
I had wondered more than once if that would be a kinder fate for myself, but omegas were too valuable.
Carter’s purring unlocked something inside me I thought was long dead. Peace.
Even Paul’s rage in the bond was muted with Carter wrapped around me.
Paisley and Nora had nodded off, but Cody watched me curiously.
I didn’t blame him. The version of me he had seen today was radically different from how I had been even yesterday.
He loved his father, even though he was afraid of him, too.
So far as I was aware, Paul had never laid hands on our children.
He saved that for me. We all received some of the same punishments at his hands, but a few were reserved to teach me a lesson.
How often had he hurt me and told me it was because I had failed as a mother?
If I was better at it, our children wouldn’t upset him, and he wouldn’t have to punish me.
I didn’t have bad kids. Paul had the shortest fuse in his family, and it wasn’t difficult to set him off.
“Why are we here?” Cody asked. “When are we going home?”
Would he understand that I had dragged them away from everything they knew for our safety? Because I couldn’t bear to stay there and watch Paul try to turn my sweet little boy into a twisted version of himself, or allow Paisley and Nora to suffer the same fate I had when they got older?
“Daddy wants us away for a while.”
It was a lie, but I didn’t know how to explain the situation to him.
I had no idea how much he saw or knew. Odds were good he understood even less.
Laying the burden of truth about our lives on an eight year old seemed cruel.
When he was older I could tell him more, but for now he was a child and he didn’t need to carry the same weight as me.
That weight was a little easier to hold in this moment.
I was in a nest and in Carter’s arms, with my children in mine.
His sweet peach scent infused every breath, making my head swim and my nerves settle.
This was a taste of utopia I never thought I would experience, and it was so simple.
I could’ve had a refuge like this if Paul didn’t want me to suffer.
Like his father, he believed suffering was the only true way to cleanse the soul.
Their reasoning for why omegas had to suffer so much more was because our souls were steeped in filth.
We were temptations punished by our own biology.
My father-in-law assured us that alphas suffered through resisting our temptation as our unattended heats purged us.
I was never sure if I believed that, but I endured it regardless.
Carter purred harder behind me, wiggling closer, like he knew I was lost in thoughts better left buried.
“What’s your favorite color, Cody?” Carter asked him, his voice waking Paisley from her nap.
“Red.”
“Do you want us to paint your bedroom walls red? Or we could get you red blankets and pillows.”
My son stared at Carter, uncomprehending. “Daddy says we’re not allowed to paint. Everyone has the same blankets.”
“You’re allowed here,” Carter assured him. “It’s my house and I say you can have whatever color room you want.”
Cody started vibrating, a light sparking in his eyes. “Really?”
“Really,” Carter replied.
“You don’t know how long we’re staying,” I pointed out.
“That’s okay. He can enjoy it while he’s here.”
“I want a princess room!” Paisley announced. “My friend from school has a pink room and a princess hat she wears sometimes.”
“We can absolutely make you a pink Princess Paisley room,” Carter assured her. “You have to tell us your favorite foods, too, so we know what to get for groceries.”
All our meals typically revolved around Paul’s preferences, but there were a few staples the kids enjoyed.
“Goat cheese and toast is good when Mama makes apple butter,” Cody told him.
Paisley made a face. She wasn’t a fan of goat cheese, but she did like the apple butter.
“I’m sure they’ll love anything available for them. No one has any allergies, so they’re as easy to please as children usually are. I can cook for everyone.”
Carter chuckled softly. “That’s Bryan’s self-appointed job, but I’m sure he wouldn’t say no to some lessons. His meals are very hit or miss, but we appreciate the effort.”
“I can teach him if he wants. I’ll clean, too, and laundry is always endless.”
“Maisie, you don’t have to do anything to stay here. You’ve got so much on your plate and we don’t want to make it harder. Just worry about settling in and we’ll keep doing the same chores we’ve always done.”
My brain twisted around like a confused snake. “What do you do to serve your alphas? Maybe I could take some of it off your shoulders.”
He tensed behind me. “I don’t serve them. We’re all partners. Anything that needs doing we share, unless someone is sick or injured. If anything, they do way more for me than I do for them.”
I wanted to roll over and search his face for the truth of that statement, but I’d squish Nora if I did, so I remained exactly where I was.
Maybe it was only sweet lies to keep me calm, but in either case, having another omega around would lighten my load.
If I cared for my children and Carter cared for his alphas, then neither of our work would increase too much, and some chores went faster when you had two sets of hands, even if the task itself got more intensive.
With a thousand things up in the air, it was a blessing to have this reprieve somewhere quiet.
If I thought about all of it—what would we do about money?
School? Clothes? Police involvement?—I would break down and never recover.
I had to take things moment by moment and stay as steady as possible for my children.
I’d torn them out of their lives and now it was up to me to ease the transition where I could, despite having no idea what the future held.
Carter smoothed back my hair, resting his cheek on my head so his purr was even louder and his sweet peach scent could calm me further.
Neither of us had presented yet when I was forced to become Paul’s, but I’d never considered Carter would be an omega.
I figured he’d have a growth spurt and turn out alpha like his brother, but being an omega suited him.
His presence had always been a balm to my existence.
Had I been that for him? Could I be that now or had Paul broken too much of me?
My stomach growled, loud and painful. I’d skipped breakfast this morning, too nervous to eat.
“Let’s get you some lunch,” Carter said quietly. “While we eat we can make a list of supplies to pick up to make all of this easier on you. Did you want to talk to Riley? I was going to call Cash so none of them worry when they hear you’ve disappeared.”
“Could I?”
“Of course. Come on. We have some cameras we use to keep an eye on the horses and chickens if you want me to set one up here for Nora’s nap. You can watch her on my phone if you want to let her sleep.”
The compulsion to keep all of my children within arm’s reach had a tight grip on my throat. It wasn’t especially practical, and if Nora didn’t nap she would get fussy and upset everyone. Better to let her sleep. “Sure, that would be good. Thank you.”
I waited with my kids while Carter got that all set up and passed me his phone so I could watch Nora. We made her a little floor nest so she had no risk of rolling off or disappearing into the mountain unattended. I got on my knees, kissing her forehead. She was out like a light.
Still nervous, I let Carter take my one hand, Paisley taking the other, and Cody walking ahead of us down the wide staircase.
The whole home was beautiful; understated, clean, with a sort of charm that reminded me of a cottage by the sea despite being nestled in the countryside.
The resident alphas were all in the kitchen, Bryan at the stove, and it was such an odd sight I couldn’t help but stare. I’d never seen an alpha cook before.
Wyatt shot to his feet. “Maisie, how are you?”
I shrugged, unsure how else to respond. The concern in his eyes made my stomach clench.
Wyatt was sweet, too, but it was different from Carter, and I wasn’t sure if that was simply the difference between alpha and omega or something else.
Either way, I rooted my feet where I was to stem the compulsion to finally let myself experience what being held by him would be like.
I was already breaking so many rules. My children didn’t know about every rule I had to follow, but they knew omegas weren’t to have physical contact with unrelated alphas.
I always wanted to, though. I’d imagined the soft touch of Wyatt’s hand a thousand times, knowing, somehow, that he would be gentle, that he would be different from Paul, but now that I was faced with the opportunity I couldn’t make myself step forward.
Bryan gave me a friendly nod. “Is spaghetti and meatballs all right? They’re frozen, not homemade, but I hope they’ll do.”
“That’s just fine, thank you.”
“Please, sit.” He gestured to the table and Cody took the first chair he reached that wasn’t the head of the table. Carter added two folded blankets to a chair to boost Paisley higher, and I checked Nora on his phone before sitting down between my two oldest.
My gaze darted to the dozen things that could go wrong that might set someone off: broken dishes, spilled food, burned tongues, improper questions, among other things.
Carter sat next to Paisley, Wyatt sitting back down in the chair next to Cody. Bryan and Colt sat across from us and I tried to keep myself collected as Bryan dished everyone up. That was usually my task, but he’d told me to sit, so I laced my fingers together so I didn’t reach to take over.
I would learn the rules of this house, and strive to keep a balance between everyone so we weren’t more of an intrusion than we already were.
I stared at the plate Bryan set down in front of me. The last time someone had served me a meal was my mother when I was a child. Maybe…maybe Carter was right and these alphas were different from what I’d known. I really hoped that was true.