Chapter 51
Iwished I had known all those years ago what was awaiting me. I wished I could’ve told my younger self that better days were coming. Claiming this life for myself hadn’t come without cost, but it was paid now, and I could start to recover from the losses.
I released a slow breath, snuggling into the nest. My pack was curled up all around me, except for Bryan, who had taken it upon himself to feed us again. Soft fabric, warm bodies, and delicious food was the height of luxury for me.
The heat had released its grip on us sometime last night. Now all that was left to do was recalibrate and rest.
I kept marveling at how good I felt. Sure, my muscles ached from use, but that was about the worst of it. I didn’t remember all the times they’d pushed food and water on me, but while I was hungry during my lucid periods, I wasn’t painfully ravenous.
“What’re you smiling about?” Carter asked, nuzzling my throat with a purr.
“Just loving how well our alphas took care of me.”
“Mhmm, they’re good at that.” He kissed the bondbite he’d put on my throat.
The toaster oven dinged. Bryan popped up, setting aside the now-empty bowl of soup we’d been eating together. “The salmon is done.”
They were remarkably prepared for heats in this house.
On top of the delicious soups, Wyatt had prepped multiple baking sheets that could slot directly into the toaster oven whenever we wanted something more substantial.
The rice cooker next to it steamed away, the timer pinging as Bryan pulled out the salmon.
He was gorgeously naked, his round ass cheeks on full display while he dished everything up. Colt wolf-whistled and Bryan’s delighted embarrassment tumbled down the bond. He returned to us with an overflowing plate on a tray and a set of forks.
I speared a bite of the salmon with as much rice as I could scoop, groaning as the rich flavors of garlic, maple syrup, and soy sauce coated my tongue along with the rice and fish. “Wyatt, this is amazing.”
“I’m glad you think so. It’s easy to make so we can have it whenever you want.”
“Would you teach me?” Bryan asked.
Wyatt nodded, but he was pensive in the bond. “I can, but I hope we’re at the point where you no longer feel you have to earn your keep.”
Bryan’s cheeks flushed, confusion and adoration radiating off him. “I suppose I hadn’t considered it.”
“Well, you’re considering it now,” Wyatt insisted. “You belong here, no matter how much you do or don’t do. We’re family now.”
Love from every angle bubbled up and I closed my eyes to soak it in. They were the first people in my life who not only wanted to keep me safe but were also capable of making that happen.
Colt pulled me onto his lap. “One big, beautiful, happy family.”
Bryan sniffled, burrowing into mine and Carter’s arms when we opened them. “I’ve never had a family before, not one that felt like this. I like it a lot.”
“Well, that’s good news,” Colt said, his amusement shining on us, “because you’re definitely stuck with us.”
“Good.” Bryan’s smile was beatific. “We’re all right where we’re supposed to be.”
I snuggled harder into Colt and toyed with Bryan’s hair. “Finally.”
“Mama, Mama, Mama!” Paisley flung herself at me on the porch, wrapping her arms around my waist. “Are you all better now?”
“Much better, honey.”
“You look shiny.”
“Shiny? What do you mean?”
“You’re all smiley and your cheekies are all pink. You always looked so sad when you would come back from being sick but now you look happy.”
“I am happy. They took very good care of me.”
“Good.” She nuzzled her face against my stomach. The dogs had enjoyed their sleepover as well and zoomed past us, sprinting in circles toward the stable and back again, in and out of the people like they wanted to be everywhere at once.
We ushered everyone inside and out of the cold.
June brought Nora over, my sweet baby practically throwing herself out of June’s arms to get to Wyatt.
He caught her and lowered down so we could both give her a little snuggle. “Hello, sweet girl. Did you have a nice time with Grandma June and the grandpas?”
Nora nodded, holding him tight around the neck.
Cody wiggled into the free space, tucking under my arm while holding onto Wyatt’s. “You’re really okay? Our new dads took care of you?”
“They did.” I kissed his forehead. “Fed me lots of yummy food, gave me lots of cuddles, and made sure I took extra naps.”
He wriggled free and hugged Colt next, then Bryan and Carter. “Thank you for taking care of Mama.”
“It was our pleasure.” Colt hugged him again, lifting him right off his feet. “It’s good to have all of you back. We missed you.”
“Really?”
“Of course, really. It’s not home without all of you there.”
The surges of affection from all directions left me breathless. I gave my girls another loving squeeze before getting to my feet to hug June. “Thank you so much for watching them.”
“You’re more than welcome, honey. We’re available to watch the grandkids anytime.” She cupped my cheeks. “We’re so glad to have you part of the family.”
Overwhelmed happy tears slipped down my cheeks. “I’m really glad, too.”
After we said our multitude of thank yous, we invited them to stay for dinner. We set up Carter’s laptop and had Riley’s whole pack on a video call with us while we sat down to eat.
I was used to big families, but this was a beautiful mix of family by blood and by heart.
No one was yelling, everyone was smiling, and everyone was so deeply loved.
I could barely process the full extent of the love shared between all of these people.
I’d wanted it for myself for so long and now I had it.
My children had parents who adored them instead of tolerated them.
They had parents who were patient, who were invested, engaged, and openly affectionate.
Even in the short time we had all been here, it was obvious to me how much they blossomed.
Despite wanting all of this, in all the days before coming here, I have never dared allow myself to hope I would get to live a life this beautiful. My children weren’t the only ones who had blossomed here.
This pack had a gift for taking in the lost and lonely and making us feel like better was not only possible, but achievable.
I would carry the scars of what I left behind for the rest of my life, but they were no longer the first thing I noticed about myself.
Paul had left his mark, but so had my pack.
Now I knew what it was like to be unquestionably treasured.
I felt it in every moment, the bond ensuring it was impossible to wonder how much they loved me and my children.
I thought that we had crashed into their lives like bulldozers, but now I saw the reality was closer to us having jumped out of a plane, and this pack were the parachutes bringing us to a soft landing.
Snow glittered outside our windows, flames danced in our hearth, dogs slept at our feet, and laughter filled our home. I breathed it all in.
Carter looked over at me with a gentle smile, his affection glowing in the bond. He was my first love, the one who had shown me what it meant to feel safe. Wyatt, Colt, and Bryan weren’t first loves, but the four of them would be my forever loves, until the final breath left my body.
They had gifted us a world where my children could grow up to be whoever they wanted to be, free from the shackles of their childhood home.
I loved them all so much I wasn’t sure how I would cope with feeling this intensity of adoration for the rest of my days.
They would hold me through it, though. Neither my heart, my bed, nor anything else would ever be empty again.
And what a blessing that was.