Chapter 20
Octavian
With a tired smile, I roll to my side and bury my face in Bentley’s pillow, breathing his scent deep into my lungs.
Every inch of my body is deliciously sore, aching from the frantic farewell fuck my alpha left me with.
I couldn’t sleep with the plug inside of me, so I wiggled it out partially through my nap.
“He’s pretty great, right?” I ask Floyd as his tail starts thumping the mattress next to me. “Don’t tell him I said that, though.”
Bella squeals as if she’s offended on Bentley’s behalf, and I can’t help but chuckle.
Who would have thought this would be my life?
A doggie dad, a pig parent, and scent matched to my polar opposite in an alpha I’ve fallen head over heels in love with.
For a neurotic crabass with very little hope for a future that stretches beyond the meager one I dared to dream of, I’m doing pretty damn well for myself.
My smile turns a touch sad as I scratch Bella’s chin.
Why won’t Bentley bite me?
I’ve been more vocal about that lately, not even on purpose, but I want him so badly that my subconscious has been letting it slip more frequently.
It’s worse when we have sex. It’s like the endorphins and pheromones work together to temporarily drop my IQ and I start acting on such a baser, more primal level, that I need his teeth in my flesh more than my next breath.
I’m almost positive I’m going to lose my composure completely and bite him first.
If Bentley hasn’t claimed me yet because he doesn’t want to, then I take a chunk out of him in the throes of passion, I don’t think I can handle that kind of rejection.
I know I can’t.
It would literally send me over the edge and I’d do something worse than cutting.
Not wanting to go down that road, I force myself upright then swing my legs over the edge of the bed, and groan at how good the reminder of his thick dick inside of me feels.
That has to be a good sign, right?
He might not have bitten me, but Bentley marks me in other ways, and I have to take that as a positive even when I feel way more negative than usual.
“Exactly,” I grunt as I get to my feet. “He wouldn’t do something like that if he didn’t want me forever. I’m being ridiculous.”
Floyd snores in response, and Bella squeals again, so I pick her up and cradle her to my chest as I head to the closet for some pants.
“Your daddy loves all of us,” I croon. “He’s not going anywhere.”
Deep down I know that’s true, but it’s still just so hard for me to accept something like that. I’m trying, but it’s been a struggle.
It probably doesn’t help the whole wanting to bite me thing.
All I’ve done is make Bentley’s life more difficult. Between my rituals and attitude, I know I’m almost impossible to live with, and when I’m having an episode, I’m not only hard to get through to, I’m selfish.
I am selfish.
Bentley has secured my entire building, he moved in to protect me. He built me a nest, for Christ’s sake, and what have I done for him? Nothing. Other than give him one hell of a headache, I’m sure.
With a frown, I park my free hand on my hip and stare at his side of the closet.
That stops now.
If I want him to claim me, if I really want to spend the rest of my life with Bentley Walker, I need to show him.
In ways that don’t involve our dicks.
“I need to be a better mate to your daddy,” I say as I plant a kiss on Bella’s head then set her on the floor. “I need to do something to show him how much I love him. I just don’t know—”
My little baby pig oinks a million times and I turn to see her fully engaged in the zoomies, racing back and forth between the bed and closet, running full speed while all the happy hyper pig sounds ring out through the loft.
I watch her for a few seconds, smiling with a shake of my head, right up until she crashes into the bookshelf and sends a few of its contents crashing to the ground.
I rush over to her, scooping her up in my arms right before she runs through the broken glass, placing her on the bed with a sigh. “You scared me, baby girl. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Bella grunts a few times then starts digging in the blankets, pushing a path in the fuzzy throws until she’s flopping down by Floyd and falling asleep within seconds.
Well, at least that was quick.
Sometimes her zoomies last for hours and the tiny little pig turns into a tornado.
Now I can at least clean up without her making more messes along the way.
I slip on a pair of Vans before heading toward the shelf, careful not to crush the broken glass, then start picking up the books and frames. I pause on one in particular as I set the rest on the shelf, and a slow smile curls my lips.
“That’s what I’ll do.” I nod and hurry back to the closet and actually put on pants, then quickly move to the ladder.
Bentley misses his family. His sisters. He misses everything about that kind of chaos, and if he won’t go to it because of me, I’m just going to have to bring the chaos to him.
Sure, I’ll be one great big walking talking meltdown having so many people in my space, but I don’t care. Not when I know it’ll make my alpha happy. I need to do this for him, for us, and I need to do it before Bentley decides he’s sick of my shit.
“Alexa,” I shout as I reach the bottom rung. “Search for flights from Tennessee to Minnesota.” Then I pause. “Alexa, start a—”
My face crashes into the ladder in front of me, my nose crunching against the wood, my glasses smashing into my face before I fall off, landing on my back with a groan as the wind is knocked out of me.
I gasp a few times, trying desperately to catch my breath but when I roll to my side to try to sit up, I’m kicked in the ribs so hard my vision goes white.
“Told you, Omega,” Kyle says as he crouches beside me, something cold and sharp pressing against my cheek as his nasty breath fans across the side of my face.
“If we can’t have you, no one can. The thing is, we’re sure as fuck going to have you as many times as we want before we make sure no one else ever will. ”
It fucking figures.
I have an epiphany and decide to be a better person, only to have Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass break into my apartment and remind me why I’ve been alone for so long.
You can’t get hurt when you’re alone, and no one else gets hurt because of you, either.