Chapter 51
Charm
I’m almost done checking our climbing equipment for damage.
As the pack rope expert, I’m in charge of these monthly tests.
So far, I’ve only found a few frayed spots on our tow ropes, which I was able to repair. Our climbing ropes and harnesses are in perfect condition, so all that’s left is—
Hestia’s scream erases every other thought, and it feels like I teleport directly to her nest where I find her cowering on a bench against the wall.
My packmates are right here with me, and Orion and Cato reach her first.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Orion asks frantically, looking her over as if he’ll find a fatal wound.
I’m doing the same. Whatever’s wrong has rendered Hestia nonverbal. Her eyes are huge and she’s whining, shifting from foot to foot.
Aside from the burned scent of her fear, I don’t see any injuries.
Cato has ahold of her arm, ready to snatch her up and carry her to safety. He’s tense, eyes darting around the room looking for threats.
There’s nothing to see though. Her knitting is on the bed, and some of the blankets are strewn on the floor like she knocked them off, but nothing else is out of place.
“Did something happen here?” I ask, moving closer to the bed.
Hestia whines louder and points at it, arm waving a warning.
Before I even reach it, a dark blur darts at my face. I stumble back and swat it away, knocking it off its course toward Hestia.
Hestia squeals, and I feel my packmates panic in the bond. Everyone’s confused and in motion, but no one knows what we’re fighting to protect our omega.
Whatever it was disappeared in a pile of pillows. Magnus, Henri, and I converge on the area.
As soon as we get close, the thing aggressively launches at us.
I’m ready for it this time and hold my ground—but someone else is faster.
A green missile snatches the creature out of the air and lands with a squishy splat.
Pete has whatever it is in his mouth, shaking it from side to side to kill it. When he stops, I finally get a good look at the monster.
It’s a massive cockroach three times Pete’s size, legs and wings twitching until suddenly they go still. That first bite was enough to kill it, but I guess Pete wanted to show off with the theatrics while waiting for his venom to take effect.
“Everything’s okay, Hestia, it’s over now,” Magnus says, relaxing from his defensive position.
“Is that what upset you? The bug?” Orion asks, stroking her back soothingly.
“A giant bug! It attacked me out of nowhere! I was just knitting, and it was in my bag, touching my beautiful yarn with its gross legs!” Hestia says, still trembling.
Cato growls at her words, though he looks slightly less murderous since Pete took care of things.
“I see that, it was a very big bug. I’m sorry it was in your nest. We’ll enhance our pest control and make sure this doesn’t happen again,” Orion says.
“Do you want us to get you new yarn?” I ask.
“No! Um, no. No, I’m sure the yarn is fine,” Hestia says, glancing at her knitting.
She must be really upset if she can’t even stand to look at the scene of the crime. That, and she’s showing no signs of climbing down from her perch.
“There’s nothing to worry about. If there were any other bugs around, Pete would find them,” Magnus says. “He’ll likely patrol inside now that he found prey here. You can rely on him, Pete will ensure nothing else bothers you. He was quicker to figure out what was going on than we were.”
“Oh, that’s good. Thank you, Pete,” Hestia says.
Pete pauses to stare at her and resumes dragging off the carcass.
I’m glad he’s taking it away. I’d prefer not to see how he eats it, and I doubt Hestia would appreciate it if he made a mess. Although now that I think about it, Pete never seems to leave any evidence behind.
In all the years we’ve lived here, we rarely have pest issues for long. The only traces of his protection are the occasional scuffs in the dirt, signs of a struggle, but not a drop of blood or tuft of fur to be found.
“Did you bring Pete with you?” Hestia asks Magnus.
“No, I wasn’t in the garden, so he didn’t hitch a ride with me. Pete must have heard you scream and came in on his own. I don’t usually bring him inside because he prefers to keep an eye on his territory, but occasionally he’ll make his way in on his own,” he says.
I only took my eyes off him for a second while they were talking, but somehow Pete disappeared, taking his prize with him.
Hestia also notices Pete and the offending insect are gone and finally relaxes. I fix the blankets on her bed while Cato and Orion help her down.
Hestia tugs the blanket out of my hand and rearranges it, so I move back to give her space. The desire to help makes me twitch when she accidentally covers her knitting things with the blankets, but I know better than to mess with an omega’s nest.
“Do you want me to hang out in here just to make sure it’s safe?” I ask instead.
“No, it’s okay, you don’t have to,” she says without looking at me.
I try to bury the feeling, but being pushed away hurts.
I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that, but I often feel like I’m still playing a part with her.
Acting like the helpful, charming alpha, while hiding myself away.
I want to be the helpful alpha, but I also want to open up and show her I’m more than just that.
It’s not Hestia’s fault I haven’t been able to. I’m just struggling to be vulnerable and show her I’m not perfect. I don’t feel that way with my packmates anymore, I’m not worried they’ll leave if I show my flaws or negative emotions. I’m sure I’ll get there eventually with Hestia.
“Of course, enjoy your hobby time. I’m sure it’s fine since Pete didn’t stick around to hunt,” I say with a smile.
I can’t even admit I want to spend time with her.
“Do you want me to bring you some snacks before we leave you to it?” Henri says, swooping in to kiss her cheek. She tilts her head to give him easier access.
I move further back.
“A little something would be nice…and maybe more coffee?” she says, and Henri agrees.
“If you don’t need me then, I’ll get back to inventory checks,” I murmur, but Hestia stops me before I make it out the door.
“Wait. Are you checking our climbing equipment?” she asks.
I turn back with a smile. “Yes, I was just looking over them for damage before repacking them.”
“Can I come with you? It’s been a while since I was in the harness and I need to practice putting it on. I don’t want to get in your way though,” Hestia says.
“You could never be in the way. I’m happy to help you practice as much as you want,” I say, the tightness in my chest easing.
“Could you bring the snacks to the supply room, Henri? Is it okay to have food okay in there?” she says, looking back and forth between us.
“Snacks are fine,” I say with a laugh.
Hestia follows me down, and Henri appears soon after with the food. I thought he might hang around to spend time with her, but he leaves once he drops it off.
I watch as Hestia straps herself in, although I’m sure she’ll get everything on perfectly. I’m only looking so closely because she’s my omega, and I always have the urge to simply gaze at her. I’ll take that opportunity whenever it’s presented.
I don’t even realize she’s done until she says, “Does this look right?”
If Hestia noticed me staring, she doesn’t comment on it.
She stands still for my perusal, and I test the buckles and snugness of her harness before moving on to the ropes. I take my time, thoroughly inspecting everything.
As expected, her gear is textbook, correctly aligned and tied with precise knots.
“You have everything exactly right,” I say.
Hestia puts her hands on my shoulders as I kneel in front of her for one more lingering look.
“Thanks for helping me, Charm. I’m not sure I did enough to maintain my skills these past few weeks,” she says worriedly.
I can’t hold in my laugh. “Hestia, you studied reports and researched the mountains for hours. I think you read more than Orion did. You’re doing just fine. Besides, you’re barely out of the academy. I doubt you forgot much from your classes in that amount of time.”
I wiggle her hips to soften my teasing. She always gets bashful when we mention her bookish tendencies.
“I did a lot of decidedly not work-related things during our break too,” she huffs.
“As you should. It’s a break from the job. You’ll burn yourself out if all you do is think about work. I’m always at your service to help you forget about it for a while,” I say with a grin.
Hestia laughs and finally agrees. We get her harness off, and I pack everything back up.
We finally dig into the snacks Henri brought us. Despite my desperate desire to open up, I enjoy spending time with her in silence too. It’s comfortable, no hidden agendas to be wary of.
When she’s done eating, Hestia leans back and rubs the curve of her stomach. It reminds me of the other ways we’ve filled her up, and I tense my thighs, trying not to get too excited.
“Did I ever tell you about the time our boat ran into a whale?” I blurt out.
“No! How did you do that? Was the whale okay??” Hestia asks, eyes wide.
“The whale was fine, but annoyed,” I say.
She’s riveted as I tell her the story, and by the end she’s laughing just like I hoped she would.
“So every time you left the bay you had to give the whale an offering?” she says.
“That’s right.”
“No way.”
“I swear, it’s all true. A sailor would never tell a tall tale,” I say, hand over my heart.
Hestia laughs again.
It actually is a true story, but most importantly, it gives me an easy way to segue to something else I want to tell her.
“My dads were good parents, you know. They taught me how to fish and run the boat and deal with the people in our small town. The other fishers were at times our competitors and sometimes our partners. You have to stick together in a place like that while still looking out for yourself. That’s how I learned to handle all types of people in all sorts of situations, from a boat in a storm to unwinding at the pub after a long day, where business matters were often decided,” I say.
Hestia stills. Maybe I shouldn’t have transitioned so quickly from our lighthearted conversation, but it’s too late now.
“Like I said, my dads taught me a lot of things and did their best to prepare me for the world. Maybe it’s my fault for focusing so much on this one lesson, or maybe they impressed it upon me too often.
Who’s to say. In the end, it doesn’t really matter.
They taught me the best way to deal with others was to be agreeable, to be charming,” I laugh, but even I can hear how hollow it sounds.
“I take after my name, and relied on that skill to move through the world. It’s useful as a rescuer, and I’m happy I can keep people calm while we help them.
Except I find it difficult to let anyone see beyond the charming exterior.
See the bad parts and the good. I thought if I told you directly that I’m…
insecure, maybe it will make it easier for me to be open and honest going forward.
So, now you know I’m not the perfect alpha who always says and does and thinks and feels the right thing.
Or maybe you’ve already realized that, I don’t know.
I guess I just wanted to say I’m working on showing you the real me, flaws and all. ”
My chest is deflated, like I let out so much there’s nothing left. I’m sure Hestia sees that, sees that I’m not as great as I made myself out to be.
She tilts my face up. I hadn’t even realized I wasn’t making eye contact like you’re supposed to.
“Charm,” she says, pausing as tears fill her eyes.
The perfect alpha, making your omega cry.
I open my mouth to backtrack, to fix this, but she cups my cheek and puts a finger over my lips.
“Thank you for telling me that. You’re an amazing person, and you’re allowed to have your own opinions and feelings, positive or negative or neutral.
I don’t expect you to always be ‘on’ or say the right thing.
I admire your social skills when we’re on the job, and I know our patients appreciate you keeping them calm, but I’m sorry you’ve been masking outside of work too.
Please don’t make yourself small, I want to know the real you.
I don’t want a ‘perfect alpha.’ People are messy and imperfect.
Whatever you want to say, whenever you feel like talking, I’m listening,” Hestia says.
I press my forehead against hers and nod.
I don’t know what else to say yet, but I don’t need to rush.
My omega will be there for me when I’m ready.