Joel
The Benson barn fire was bigger than I expected.
A box fan clogged and overheated, starting a fire that nearly engulfed all the hay. I helped as best I could, though I didn’t have my gear to join the guys inside the barn. It took hours to put out the fire and move all the animals.
We eventually left the sweet corn farm outside town exhausted but relieved that no animals or people were harmed. It’s the best outcome we always hope for. A barn can be rebuilt; people cannot.
Yawning on my way to the staircase, a bead of light from the living room stops me before I can take a single step up the stairs.
I frown. It’s late. Everyone is usually asleep by now, and if someone were awake, why didn’t they call out when they heard me shut the front door?
Curious, I head to the living room. Someone must have left the light on when they went to bed.
Missing the movie and a fun night on the couch wasn’t what I’d hoped for tonight, and Rose had looked so scared, despite trying to hide it from me, but fighting fires and saving people is what I do, what I’ve done for years, and what I’ll keep doing as long as I’m able.
I stop in the living room doorway, a big, fat stupid grin on my face.
Rose, in pink and white polka-dot pajamas, is curled up on the couch, a book on the floor, and the floor lamp on.
No one has ever waited up for me like this before.
I told her not to worry, but she still waited down here for me to get home safe.
I have a big brother who always has my back, parents who are on their endless retirement vacation but are always there at the end of the phone, pack mates for the first time, and a boy I love more each day.
But this…
I never had this before.
Still grinning, I walk over to Rose and drop into a crouch in front of her, picking up the book—a fantasy—from the floor and setting it on the coffee table.
It’s one of Win’s. He has a stack of them filling the small bookcase in the room’s corner.
On the rare occasion he wants to be alone, he’ll sit in the rocking chair on the back porch for an hour and read a couple of chapters.
I thought I’d put the book down quietly, not wanting to wake Rose before I figured out whether to leave her to sleep or risk disturbing her by carrying her up to her room, but she stirs and blinks her gorgeous chocolate-brown eyes open.
“Joel?” she yawns and sits up. “You’re back. Uh, I didn’t mean to fall asleep. A book with heavy political intrigue was not the best idea. I should have put an action movie on.”
Smiling softly, I rise and draw her toward me, pressing a kiss to her lips, then perching on the edge of the coffee table right in front of her. “You didn’t have to wait up for me,” I say, voice low, not wanting to wake anyone else up.
“Win and Murph said the same thing, but I didn’t want to sleep until you were back.” She leans toward me and sniffs, wrinkling her nose. “You smell smoky.”
“Need a shower.” But I make no move to do that. I stay sitting on the coffee table, inches away from Rose, fighting to keep my hands to myself.
“What time is it?”
“11:30.”
Her eyes widen. “Was the fire really bad for you to have been gone so long?”
“The guys were pretty much on top of everything when I got there. I had too many animals to move and get situated in another barn. Turns out, animals like to work on their own time, and didn’t appreciate that I had a bed waiting for me.”
She flashes me a smile. “I’m glad everyone was okay, animals included.”
“Me too. You shouldn’t have waited up for me. I appreciate it, but you need the rest.”
“Some things are worth staying up late for. What started the fire?”
I keep my focus on her words and not on her body.
Her wavy chestnut hair is in a braid with a few loose strands framing her face.
I ache to touch her. Murph said it’s okay.
Acting on our feelings isn’t bad or wrong, but the things I want to do to this woman aren’t thoughts I should be having about another alpha’s scent match.
“Joel?” she asks.
I shake my head and look away in yet another failed attempt to focus. “Sorry. A box fan got clogged, and it started the fire. All the hay in the barn made it worse.”
“Why do you keep avoiding looking at me?”
She’s right. I look, then turn away, look, then drag my gaze away.
I stare at the couch, cycling through what I should say and what I should not. And all the while, the scent of her skin, lavender and sweet peach, is almost too much to handle. I turn to her with no clue what to tell her. Her face scrunches and she sneezes.
It’s fucking adorable. When she rubs her nose and her cheeks turn pink, it’s the icing on the cake, and I can’t help but grin.
“Sorry for sneezing in your face.”
“It’s the smoke.” I push myself to my feet before I give in to the urge to pull her into my arms. “I really do need a shower. Ready to go up?”
She nods and gets up from the couch. I turn off the lamp and we walk up together.
At the top of the stairs, her steps slow, and mine do as well.
Her bedroom is a few doors down from the largest bathroom, which we let her use because it has a bath, and none of us have ever been interested in those.
She bathes Ben there and was the first to use the claw-footed tub we installed. We prefer showers.
“Rose?” I ask when she continues to hover.
She hesitates, shifting from foot to foot. “I know it’s late, and I should go to bed, but…”
“Do you want to talk for a bit longer?”
Please let her say yes.
Five minutes ago, I was yawning into my hand, literally counting down the seconds until I got into a hot shower and crawled into cool cotton sheets.
What the fuck happened to my exhaustion?
She nods. “You’re tired though, so I should—”
I snag her arm and tug her back as she turns to walk away. “Nothing would make me happier than staying up later with you. I do need a shower, though. If you want to sit on the bathroom counter and don’t mind staring at a wall, I promise I won’t be long. We can still talk, though.”
A rosy flush spreads over the apples of her cheeks. “And if I don’t want to stare at a wall?”
I look at her, struggling to believe I was ever tired at all. It’s like someone replaced all the blood in my veins with caffeine. Except it’s not caffeine. This is pure adrenaline-based need for Rose.
“Well,” I eventually say, “you might see one or two interesting things.”
Namely, the erection damn near poking a hole through the front of my pants. I wouldn’t want her to see it and think this has to lead to anything tonight.
She glances down. Her eyes widen, and she quickly looks away again. “Oh.”
I chuckle. That blush is far too tempting, so I drop a kiss on her mouth and thread my fingers with hers, leading the way to the bathroom and switching on the light as soon as I step in. “Come on, before I start pinning you against things and kissing you.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
I let out a groan, and she grins up at me.
I let go of her hand and shut the door. She wanders over to the bathroom counter and hops onto it, kicking her bare feet as she rests her hands on the edge.
The light bounces off her cheekbones as she scans the gray-stone bathroom, with its massive shower and double sink. Then she looks at me. “You’re not undressing.”
I blink at her. Did I leave my brains behind in the barn fire? “Sorry, what?”
A smile tugs at her lips. “You’re behaving very strangely tonight, Joel.”
“Just appreciating what I have and how lucky I am to have it,” I say softly.
She tilts her head, looking puzzled.
“Just thinking out loud,” I explain.
“Are you ever scared?” she asks as I lean into the shower cubicle to turn on the faucet so the water can heat as I strip.
“Of my job?”
She nods.
I shrug. “Sometimes, I guess. Not that often, though. I’ve been doing it a long time, so a fire would have to be out of control or involve someone I care deeply about to make me nervous.”
I’m painfully aware of her watching me, and of how much I want her to like what she sees as I pull my shirt over my head and reach for my fly.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see her fingers curl on the edge of the counter, and I hear her breathing change as I step out of my pants and drop them on the floor beside my shirt.
I nearly ask her to join me in the shower, but she’s ready for bed and would probably say no.
The heat of her gaze follows me as I pad barefoot to the shower, open the glass door, and step inside, shutting it behind me.
I rest my palms on the mosaic-tiled wall and dip my head.
Hot, steamy water soaks my hair and runs down my back.
“What else did you want to know?” I ask, raising my voice to be heard over the water.
She doesn’t respond.
I start to repeat myself when the shower door snicks behind me.
My back stiffens, and it’s not the only thing that does.
“Um, I thought maybe I could join you.” Her voice is soft and hesitant, unsure of her welcome.
I don’t say a word, and I don’t turn to face her. If she’s in the shower with me, she’s naked. I can barely keep my hands off her when she’s fully clothed. Pinning her against a kitchen counter and grinding on each other is one thing. Sex is another.
And it won’t just be sex.
It will be bites and knots, and all those feel-good things have a habit of bonding an alpha and omega.
Maybe she’s not ready for that with me. With Murph, it’s different.
He’s her scent match, and a claiming bite is a choice, sure, but it was a foregone conclusion that he would put his mark on her, sooner rather than later.
Maybe I shouldn’t care about claiming bites at all. Maybe I should be satisfied that Rose wants me at all and that Murph hasn’t wrung my neck for touching her.
But it’s not enough.
I want more.
I want my bite on her skin, and for any alpha on the street to see it and know she’s as much mine as she is Murph’s.
Be grateful for what you have and don’t wish for more. You could just as easily wind up with less.