33. Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Two
Ursula
D espite the fact that we’re all exhausted enough to roll right back into bed after our morning exertions, we make a valiant show of rallying—getting ourselves washed up, dressed, and ready for the first of two mixers for the day.
Our time on the island has been so incredible that I had almost forgotten that we’d actually have to interact with other contestants—most of whom I would have been happy never to see again in my life.
When Kimmy and Timmy arrive to ferry us to the beach for the oceanside barbecue and social, I hide in the bathroom an extra five minutes, contemplating faking sick—my nerves rattling my insides so that I’m worried I might actually throw up, excuses aside.
I blot my lips in the mirror and over analyze my silhouette—my red one piece faintly visible beneath the pale yellow linen shirt dress I’ve tossed on over it, my wide brimmed straw hat tilted back on my head, and heart shaped sunglasses perched on my nose.
“You almost ready, Princess?” Teddy calls as he raps on the bathroom door.
“I’ll be out in two shakes!” I assure him, fluffing the curls where they peek out from the hat—my other hand already on the doorknob.
We arrive at the beach—only the second pack to arrive. Lana and her pack are already on the beach volleyball court playing a game.
Though Lana halts mid-serve, the rest of her pack turns slightly to watch as we make our way toward an umbrella, our names written on small chalkboards hanging off the backs of 6 different beach loungers.
Seeing that we weren’t the crowd they were interested in, Lana and her pack go back to their game of volleyball—not even bothering to come greet us.
“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said that the reception might be a bit chilly,” Ash scoffs a laugh—peeking contemptuously over his sunglasses at Lana and her three beaus.
“Oh, this isn’t even bad.” I shake my head, slipping my massive hat off and tossing my hair, before I flop down onto my seat. “Just wait until the captain of my anti-fan club arrives.” I shudder, and Mavren takes a seat on the lounger beside me—casually throwing his arm around my shoulders.
“You’ve got nothing to worry about with your five biggest fans right here.” Mavren smooches a kiss down into the part of my hair, tucking one of my curls absently behind my ear as he helps scoot me over—allowing Ash to take a seat on the other side of me—his septum piercing clacking loudly against the arm of my sunglasses as he swoops in to place a kiss on my temple.
“Trust me, I couldn’t care less that she’s going to be here. And if she thinks that she’s going to give you a hard time while we’re around? She’s going to be very unpleasantly surprised,” Ash mumbles under his breath as he gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.
All of our heads turn as Allie and her pack arrive. I’m not sure if I feel better or worse that Lana’s pack also ignores Allie and her three suitors; their volleyball game paused for a moment then resumed without so much as a wave.
I myself, make sure to demonstrate a friendly greeting—a pleasant smile plastered on my face as my open hand waves slowly back and forth.
“Jeez, this is more than slightly awkward,” Ash grits through his teeth, his and Mavren’s fake smiles dazzling in the high sun—even if they’re just for show.
A waiter from the resort comes by and starts taking orders for drinks, and I can see Teddy, at the far end of our seating area—shifting nervously from foot to foot; his eyes obscured behind a pair of mirrored wrap-around sunglasses—his shirt, shockingly, still on as he hugs his crossed arms to his chest.
Lysander, also clearly thrown by Teddy’s drastic shift in mood and demeanor, shoots me a quizzical look.
Something’s going on there…but I’m not entirely sure what.
“Ope, this isn’t awkward or anything.” Mavren’s hand closes protectively over my bare knee as Jesse and her two gentlemen appear over the sand dune, her eyes instantly finding him in the crowd.
“Oh?” I run my fingers through the ridges of his knuckles, resting my hand over his. “I don’t think I even knew you matched with her?” I do the best to keep the emerald tone of jealousy from my voice, but I can tell I haven’t been successful by the pained expression on Mavren’s face.
“It’s because I legitimately stopped by her lounge for less than an hour…then turned in my key before my date with her on the following day.” He winces.
An ugly laugh bubbles up from both Ronan and I.
“God, you really aren’t one to waste any time, are you?” Ronan shakes his head at Mavren as he passes three frozen drinks down the line of us on the beach lounger, the waiter unloading his tray to the assembly line before disappearing to take another order.
“I didn’t mean for it to be a shade, but she might have taken it as one.” Mavren rubs at his stubble shadowed chin.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jesse fixing her lip gloss—stopping mid primp to squeal and run wildly across the sand, to somewhere out of view.
I watch—a chorus of silent alarms firing in my brain as I watch Teddy shrug out of Lysander’s attempt to reach for Teddy’s hand tenderly—his face suddenly alight with something like panic as he flies into furious motion.
“Anybody else roasting?” Teddy blurts out, stripping out of his shirt and kicking off his flip-flops—punching Lysander in the shoulder playfully as he sprints for the ocean.
Ronan’s face pinches with confusion, Lysander’s eyes wet with hurt as Teddy runs out of earshot.
“What the hell has gotten into him?” Ronan scoffs, shaking his head as we watch Teddy take a few steps into the ocean before ducking down beneath a breaking swell—his beautiful golden form disappearing beneath the waves.
“Uh—I’ve got a couple of ideas,” Mavren grumbles—jutting his chin over my shoulder toward the new arrivals.
Britt, along with her quartet of callers—including Anton, make their way onto the beach—her perfect body on full display in her teeny-weeny, pink-triangle-bikini.
I reach for my massive straw hat and pull it down onto my head—praying that its expansive brim sufficiently hides me from view. If I’m lucky—I’ll be able to stay completely still for the next few hours, avoiding Britt’s predatory gaze.
“I don’t get it,” Ash shrugs cooly, draping a hand over my exposed thigh and giving it an affectionate squeeze. “What does he care? I matched with her too. I’m not at all surprised with how she looks, but I don’t miss her ‘personality’—if you could be so generous to call it that, at all.” He leans in and places a tender kiss on my neck, my panic abating slightly with the dose of affection—the juniper and palo santo smoke of his scent wrapping me in a modicum of calm as I breathe him in.
I pop the straw between my lips and take a long sip of my half-melted pina colada, trying not to look at Britt and her entourage as she and Jesse jump up and down in the sand, squealing happily at Suzi’s arrival.
My eyes dart to Lysander, curious to see what he makes of the new arrivals—but my heart aches when I see him looking longingly out into the water—Anton already paddling his way out to Teddy beyond the breakers.
I nod to Ronan, extending my glass to him in a wordless request for him to hold my drink —forgetting my plan to stay still as a statue and thus beneath Britt’s predatory notice in favor of drawing my sweet Lysander from his obvious despair.
“Hey, what’s up?” I whisper softly in his ear, threading my arm through his and pulling Lysander close to me.
Even though he keeps his eyes on the water, his hand lifts mine from the crook of his arm and brings it to his lips, a kiss ghosting over my knuckles before he gently places it back with a soft pat.
“Do you know who that is, with Teddy?” he asks, his voice tinged with fear.
“Yeah, his name is Anton. He dated a lot of the girls in the bubbles, including me, for a brief period,” I admit.
“What, really?” Lysander’s eyes snap to me, his fear palpable now—his gaze almost accusatory.
“Listen, when I was talking to Teddy at first—he gave a pretty similar impression to Anton, but he urged me to give him a chance—to try to look deeper than the initial fuckboy skin deep front he was giving me,” I explain, pulling my sunglasses halfway down my nose to look Lysander in the eyes—his panama hat throwing pinpricks of sunlight across his frowning face. “As soon as I caught a whiff of his scent card? Outta here.” I make the characteristic ‘off with the head’ gesture accompanied with a gagging sound not unlike the one I actually made the first time I scented Anton. “Not to mention, he also dated Roxy, too—my best friend in the bubbles,” I huff before leaning in, my nose against Lysander’s. “So quit pouting. You have nothing to worry about,” I nuzzle him before pecking a kiss onto his lips.
“Fine, I am satisfied.” Not even the frequently stoic Lysander can cover up the momentary grin that tweaks the corners of his mouth upward, his gaze returning to the water—that air of unease still about him. “Just strange that he went straight to Teddy—didn’t say hi to anyone else, just…” Lysander trails off.
“That is strange,” I agree, my stomach turning over with a distinct malaise. “Teddy never mentioned anything about Anton, and I didn’t talk to Anton for long enough to hear about him and Teddy meeting in the pack lounges.”
On the tip of my tongue is a suggestion that we go take a seat with the other guys, to stop over analyzing things just because we’re at this stupid mandatory fun function—to just continue to enjoy one another’s company in this beautiful place before we are forced back into some semblance of everyday life. I don’t get the chance to do any of this though, because Lysander suddenly whips his panama hat off, tossing it into the sand—balling up his button down and tossing it into the overturned hat, his lithe form bolting over the sand for the water.
“What’s gotten into lil’ Sandy?” Ronan tips the brim of his own worn straw hat up and returns my drink to me as he leans over my shoulder, his hands finding my waist as he slithers in behind me.
“I have absolutely no idea…but I can tell you that I’m over this party already…I’m ready to blow this pop stand,” I grumble, leaning back into Ronan’s embrace before sucking down more of my melted libation.
“You think Kimmy and Timmy would spring us if I asked real nice?” Ronan purrs in my ear, his geranium-oakmoss scent green and lush, pressed this close to him.
“I have a feeling that they’re going to get paychecks directly proportional to the amount of bloodshed and spilled tea during this so-called ‘mixer’—so my money is on no ,” I groan, leaning forward out of his arms as we gravitate back toward the beach loungers where we’ve left Ash and Mavren.
“You’re just too smart for your own good, Sugar—I hadn’t even thought of that,” Ronan laughs, taking the lead, offering me his hand—towing me along, reluctant though I am.
“It is fucking brutal in the sun—I’m ready for some shade.” I remove my hat and use its large, floppy brim to fan myself.
“Ope!” Ronan hiccups, coming to an abrupt stop, nearly causing me to walk directly into him.
“Hey what’s the big—” I lean to the side to get a peek, and almost yelp when I see Britt, along with her prospective pack—minus Anton of course, who is…having what appears to be a spirited conversation with Lysander and Teddy further down the beach.
Fuck me, shit’s about to go off the rails, isn’t it?
“Hey gurl!” Brittney waves at me—her plastic smile sparkling in the sun—her blonde hair in a high ponytail, her perky tits barely covered by the tiny triangles of pink lycra, her slim tanned body stretched out on the pool lounger bearing my name placard.
“Hi,” I manage to wheeze—all of the wind leaving my sails.
Mavren and Ash look more than slightly put out—Britt’s pack members stand uncomfortably around them—the banker, visibly embarrassed by her obvious display of disrespect, the two jocks looking longingly at a table full of beers and heavy appetizers, who couldn’t care less.
“Looks like Anton and Teddy are catching up,” Britt beams at me.
“Mmhmm, looks like that. Doesn’t it?” I smile back reluctantly—my eyes darting to Ash and Mavren, their postures loaded as if ready to spring away on my command, their facial expressions a portrait of disinterest.
“You know, the boys and I were just so surprised that both Teddy and Ash decided not to go to the pack reveal—I think Anton really took it hard, he and Teddy had really seemed to hit it off instantly.” Britt purses her lips in a baby pout. “And I had really thought Ash and I had a connection in the bubbles.” She moves to drape a hand over Ash’s forearm, but he pulls away—swinging his legs over and standing up off of the lounger in one fluid motion.
“I did enjoy chatting with you during our initial dates Britt,” Ash smiles mildly, his voice even.
“You liked my scent well enough,” Britt sneers, her sweet and light routine having failed—she goes straight to bitter and sharp.
“I ended up in a few lounges, and when it came time to make my decision—it wasn’t a difficult one. Ursula was the obvious choice.” Ash shoulders past Kurt, making his way over to Ronan and I, stepping slowly in the shifting sands, giving his back to Britt.
My heart swells with affection for Ash, defender of my honor. Taking a cue from Ash, Mavren begins to scoot off his own beach lounger, likely on his way to join us as well so that we can go and rescue Lysander and Teddy from whatever the hell is going on down by the water.
“Yeah well, I bet you would have chosen differently if you had known what you were missing.” Britt sneers under her breath.
My breath catches—and for a moment, I feel a red hot burst of humiliation tear through me. There she is—perfect, tall, tanned, blonde, a literal model— flawless . Here I am—a short, round, scarred, stretch-marked failed jazz singer turned makeup artist. Of course, the only way I could have gotten these men to fall for me is if they never saw me. Now that they’ve seen all these gorgeous women they could have chosen instead—I’ll be left alone, just like I was before.
Except…none of that is actually true.
Well, Britt is a model, and she is blond. I am short, round, scarred, stretch-marked, and so close, yet so far from my original dream, but I didn’t fool these men into falling in love with me with some kind of bull-shittery or witchcraft. I made them fall in love with me, the real me.
Each of them made me fall just as hard.
Mavren, Ronan, Lysander, Ash, and Teddy too—they’d all seen me and had the opportunity to check out, a get out of jail free pass to ditch the girl who didn’t match what you’d imagine—all of them had stayed.
And they hadn’t just stayed, they had begun to explore me, explore each other—all of us becoming more than what we had been before we began to form our pack.
Pack Gold.
Now that my pack had seen these other women—they were gathering around me , standing behind me, to show Britt just how wrong she was.
In the place of my shame, I now felt righteous anger. Just like that time Britt had spoken badly of Lysander—my rage was aflame.
“Brit, I know that it might be too difficult to ask you to be decent,” I bite out, tossing my hat onto the lounger beside her, fluffing my hair gently.
“And I’m sure that you’re not used to hearing ‘no’ particularly often, being the pretty little peach that you are,” I sigh, as if I couldn’t be more bored—though the adrenaline pumping in my veins makes me feel like every cell in my body is vibrating at high speed. Fighting against the tremor in my limbs, I unbutton my shirt dress cover up and toss it over my hat on the chair beside her—my curves, rolls, and stretch marks on display right alongside my tan, my massive tits, and my porno-lifeguard, red one piece.
“But you’re entirely full of shit. The boys chose me because we have a real connection—not because I’m a hot bitch with a dog water personality.”
Britt’s jaw drops. She and her entourage audibly gasping as I deliver my scathing rebuke.
“Now if you don’t mind, it’s fucking hot out—and I’m going to have a swim instead of being harassed. I’d appreciate it if you’d get out of my seat by the time I’m ready to dry off. You’re sitting on my towel,” I sniff, turning on my heel and making my way to the water’s edge despite the fact that I’m internally freaking out so hard it feels my stomach threatening to fall out my butt.