Chapter 20 Rhodes
RHODES
You could cut the tension in this locker room with a knife.
We didn’t get home from Milan until nearly two in the morning, and we all just went straight to bed.
No more discussion about Raven, the pack, the gifts.
I know Vann didn’t sleep well. We’re sharing the second bedroom in the apartment, and he was tossing and turning all night.
Even at breakfast this morning, an unusual silence settled over us. It’s no better now that we’re at the arena.
Usually there’re more athletes in the locker rooms—some getting ready, some using the communal showers after a tough game. But we’re the first match of the day, and we’re here early since none of us could sleep, so the four of us are left to stew in our thoughts.
“I’m going to go talk to Coach about our strategy against Sweden,” Tanner suddenly declares, moving toward the exit.
“I’ll go with you!” Orion awkwardly follows our pack alpha out, the door slowly closing and snicking shut behind them.
Vann and I stare at the door. “You don’t think they’re going to…” I trail off, assuming Vann will know what I’m insinuating. He’s got that glazed look in his eye, like he’s zoning out, so I’m not entirely sure he heard me until he finally shrugs.
“Who knows? I’m gonna take a shower, see if I can wake myself up a little.” Vann strides through the open doorway into the communal shower area, and just like that, I’m alone. The shower turns on, the sound echoing in the empty space.
I’ve never seen my pack so disjointed. I may be the newest addition, but we’re usually seamless. Sure, we may rib each other from time to time, and everyone has disagreements, but it’s never been like this. Like we’re quiet, awkward strangers.
It doesn’t help that I haven’t been bitten into the pack, yet. Without having the metaphysical bond to my brothers, I can’t get a read on them like they can with each other. If I could, maybe I wouldn’t worry so much, but it’s just me, myself, and I in my head right now, which ramps up my anxiety.
Not for the first time, I wish I’d met them earlier.
Maybe grew up with them. Or even wasn’t the odd one out and was fucking one or more of them.
I know they care for me, and they need me for the Olympics, but what about after?
I don’t think they’re keeping me around just so they can compete, but now with Raven in the picture I’m not 100% sure.
I try my best not to let the typical beta insecurities burrow into me, but sometimes it can't be helped.
It’ll be fine. It has to be.
I heave a sigh then lean forward. My elbows rest on my knees, and I drop my face to my hands, attempting to rub away the stress. Something hitting the tile wall of the showers has my head shooting back up. Was that Vann? Is he okay?
Fuck, what if he slipped or something? The need to ensure he’s alright rides me hard, so I stand and walk toward the doorway. What I see stops me in my tracks.
Steam fills the empty shower room, floating ethereally, making it feel more like a dream than reality. Especially because in the middle of the cloud stands Vann. Naked—obviously—but the way he’s standing, the way his arm is moving…
He’s pleasuring himself.
And I think I like it.
My breathing picks up as I take in his form.
He’s under a showerhead about halfway down, facing the wall and bracing himself with one hand flat on the tile.
His head is down, eyes screwed shut in pleasure.
The hot water sluices down his muscular body, rivulets dancing like rapids as they hit each bump and groove of his abs.
I shouldn’t be watching him, especially without his permission, but I can’t look away. The muscles in his bicep are tense, showing the effort he’s putting into jerking his hand up and down his cock. And what a magnificent cock it is.
I’ve seen him naked before, athletes aren’t exactly shy about their bodies. Add in that we’re pack, and you can bet we’ve seen all of each other. But looking at my packmates doesn’t usually cause my mouth to water, or send flashes of fantasies through my mind.
Now though, I’m entranced. This is the first time I’ve seen Vann hard, and he’s…
magnificent. The tip is an angry red, the flesh glistening with droplets of water and pre-cum combined.
He’s so thick his fingers barely touch and longer than I would have guessed.
I can almost feel how deep it would hit inside me. Fuck. Fuck!
My back hits the wall, and my pants are undone before I even realize what I’m doing.
From this angle I have a direct line of sight to Vann, but he isn’t paying attention to me.
My cock is hard, the throbbing pressure trapped until I free it from the confines of my zipper.
Pre-cum beads at my tip, and I spread it down my shaft, my eager strokes matching the cadence of Vann’s.
I try to memorize how he likes it. He’s not gentle. I’ve never understood the saying ‘beat your dick’ until now. Because that’s what Vann is doing, roughly taking his frustration and tension out on his own body.
He grunts, then moans when he brings his hand down to grip his knot, squeezing hard. I have to bite my forearm to keep myself from making any noise, revealing my new voyeuristic trait to my packmate.
The alpha’s hand moves faster, his lower abs tightening, and I know he’s close.
A few more strokes, and he’s coming. Raven’s name on his lips sounds almost pained.
White ropes of cum land on the wall, his hand leaving his shaft to rhythmically squeeze his swollen knot.
Milking everything he can from his cock.
I’m not far behind, but when my climax hits I imagine it's my name he’s crying out. Hot cum splashes onto my stomach, but as soon as my dick stops twitching, the guilt and confusion pummels me.
Holy fuck. Oh, shit. What did I just do?
Vann turns around with his eyes closed and his back against the tiles, head tilted back.
Facing this way, he reveals the other side of his still hard cock, and for the first time, I catch his full tattoo.
I knew he had one on his cock, and I’ve been curious about it before, but never wanted to ask.
And having never seen him erect, I couldn’t tell for myself what it was until this moment.
It’s a raven in flight. Its wings are tucked into its body like it’s diving forward, beak pointing toward his rounded tip. A raven. Of course it’s a raven.
Vann isn’t mine. He’s hers. He can’t ever know I watched him and got off on it. I hastily shove my cock back into my pants, drag my shirt down to cover my spend, then quickly and quietly dash from the room. Like a coward.
I’ll own up to my cowardice. I’ve felt this level of attraction only a handful of times in my life, and I don’t know what I’d do if Vann found out only to reject me. No, I’d rather live in my fantasies than lose him or the pack.
But a small part of me still whispers, what if?