Chapter 27 Tanner
TANNER
For years, I’ve been thinking about what I’d say to Raven if I got the chance. Ever since Vann found out she’s here in Italy, I’ve honed in on my apology, practiced it in private. But now I can’t remember a single fucking thing I planned to say.
I’d wanted to do this somewhere quiet, organized, planned. I thought we’d figure out where she was staying and show up at her door after our last game with bouquets of roses and chocolates. Romance her with everything omegas like.
Instead, I’m chasing her down in a crowded club, and we’ve already botched our first attempt at an apology. If what just happened can even be called that.
I catch up with Raven just as she steps inside the bathroom, slipping in after her before the door closes. There’s a mirror just in front of us, so I know she sees me, but she refuses to turn around. With her eyes cast down, she grips the edge of the counter by the sink. “Get out, Tanner.”
“I will.” I shove my hands in my pockets and stare at my feet. “Just give me five minutes. Please, Raven.”
“Three.” She turns around, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms.
I close my eyes to center myself, then open them, take a deep breath, and say the only thing I can think to say, “Don’t blame my pack. How we treated you was my fault.”
She glares, clearly unimpressed.
I scrub the back of my neck. “Look, Vann is impressionable. Even more so back then. He wanted to pacify me, so he went along with anything I did.” Her eyebrow raises in disbelief, but she doesn’t say anything. “And Orion… we both know, he didn’t really engage. Don’t blame him for my mistakes.”
“He didn’t stop you.” Her eyes hold hot anger in them, but something that looks a lot like sadness lingers underneath.
I nod slowly. “Just give them a chance. They’re not the same people they were. And scent matches… well, that’s something special.”
“Damn straight it is,” someone says from one of the stalls.
I didn’t realize we weren’t alone. Great.
The toilet flushes and a woman steps out, tugging at her short sequined skirt.
Raven and I awkwardly stare at each other while the woman washes and dries her hands.
Once she’s done, she sets a hand on Raven’s shoulder, and even though she’s a beta and clearly not making a move, everything inside me bristles.
Raven recoils, the woman drops her hand.
“If the rest of ‘em are as hot as this one, I say give ‘em a chance, girlie,” the woman says in a stage whisper before walking out.
Raven sucks her lips between her teeth, her dark brows dipping down as she studies me. Is she thinking about it? Will she give us a chance?
Here, in this closed bathroom, it’s easier to scent her. It’s subtle, like maybe she’s taking scent blockers, but it’s breaking through just enough to demolish any doubt in my mind that Vann was right. This woman was always meant to be ours. And I ruined that.
I rub the back of my neck, dropping my gaze away from hers to look at the hard black tile. There’s a condom wrapper in the corner, and it makes me cringe.
“What about you?” Raven asks, so quiet I’m not sure I heard her.
“What do you mean?”
“You said to give them a chance. You defended the rest of your pack—which isn’t really an apology, by the way.” She uncrosses her arms and waves one in my general direction. “What about you?”
Shit, she’s right. I haven’t actually apologized.
Her scent is messing with my head. It feels like it’s getting stronger by the minute.
Like someone just took a batch of snickerdoodles right out of the oven.
I’m not sure if it’s just the confined space or if our close proximity is doing as much to her as it is to me.
My own scent rises to meet hers, even spicier than normal.
She sways, uncrossing her arms to grip the counter behind her.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Raven.” I take one small step forward. “But for what it’s worth. I am sorry. I regret what we put you through every single day.”
I can see her building her walls even higher, ready to block me out again.
So I rush to continue, “I know you have no reason to believe me. We were young, dumb kids with too much testosterone and issues of our own that we took out on you. But then we grew up. We met Rhodes, and… This isn’t really a conversation for a dirty bar bathroom.
But please, give us a chance to explain. ”
Knock. Knock.
“You two okay in there?” Orion’s deep voice comes from the other side of the door. He pops his head in a moment later before we can respond.
Raven looks from me to him and sighs. “Look, it’s fine. It’s all in the past. Let’s just forget about it.”
“You’ll give them a chance?” I ask, hope swelling my chest.
“No.” She shakes her head, and all that hope pops. Her eyes look glazed and damp, or maybe it’s just a trick of the light. “I don’t think so,” she tacks on, offering back a little of what she stole with her quick refusal.
Orion catches my eye, a silent plea passing between us. He doesn’t want to let this go either. I give him a brief nod, my agreement, my own prayer. Maybe he can make this right where I couldn’t.
“How about one dance?” he asks Raven. “Vann and Tanner had a chance to apologize. Give me one dance.”
Raven pierces her lips, contemplating for a long second before she shakes her head. “I can’t do this.”
That’s all she says before she shoulders past me and Orion, running away from us again.
My packmate wraps his arms around me, an attempt at comfort, but I push him off. “I can’t believe I fucked up again.” I slam my hand against the bathroom stall, the noise ringing in my ears.
“We all knew this would take time,” Orion says, looking past me at the closed door.
“What if we don’t get another chance?” I stare at Orion, trying to convey just how desperate I am. “Go after her. She’ll listen to you more than me. Please. I need… we need her.”
He nods once, presses a firm kiss to my lips, then leaves.
“Make her ours,” I call out just before the door closes.
It takes every ounce of self-control and trust I have to stay behind and hope Orion can win over the woman I’ve secretly loved since I was sixteen.