Chapter 4
four
TOMMAS
Consciousness slammed into me like a fuckin’ freight train. I choked out a ragged breath, a riot of sterile whites and beeping monitors reminding me where I was.
Fuckin’ hell. I was still alive.
My insides screamed, my veins burning with a new dose of painkillers. And suddenly, it all came rushing back. The fight, being shot, the hospital…
God, how long had I been checked out?
Past the half-drawn blinds, the sky was light blue, but I had no idea if it was morning or evening. Hell, I didn't know how many days had passed either, only that I’d been here a while, swimming in and out of consciousness. Time lost all meaning in here, but the better I started to feel, the more alert I became, the more I wanted to get my fuckin’ bearings. I hated feeling so disoriented, so disconnected . To lose track of the days. To have no goddamn clue what was happening beyond these four walls.
But I didn’t give a shit about any of that when a soft little snore drew my attention to my left.
Kit…
My girl. My sweet little Omega, slumped over in her chair, sleeping on the very edge of the mattress, as close as she could get without jostling me. She’d never left my side. A warmth, deeper than any drug, swept through my aching body.
Her head was propped on folded arms, lips slightly parted, breathing steadily. Even wrecked with exhaustion, dark circles under her eyes and her hair coming loose from its messy bun, she was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
A sharp, stabbing pain shot across my abdomen, making me wince when I reached for her. Right. Bullet wound. Fuckin’ Vincent. The memories flashed through my mind—the ambush, the shootout, taking out his guys, his sneering face when he had me cornered, the metallic glint of his gun, his taunt about Rocco sending his regards, and then the searing heat tearing through my stomach as the bullet ripped through me.
But that wasn’t what haunted me. It was what came after. Being unable to move, fighting for consciousness, hearing her screams. The echo of another gunshot. Not knowing if that terrifying sound had stolen her life or saved it.
I swallowed hard, shoving it all down, trying to stay focused on the present. My fingers found her hair, brushing against the soft strands. God, she was so delicate, so fuckin’ precious. I was so damn proud of her for defending herself. For remembering everything I’d taught her. She’d saved us both, but knowing I’d failed her, that she’d had to become a killer because I couldn’t protect her, ate away at me like acid.
“I’d say don’t wake her, but she’s out like a light.” Dimitri’s quiet voice pulled my attention away from Kit.
My brother stood in the doorway, arms laden with vending machine snacks. His face was haggard, marred with bruises and cuts, the worst gash taped together and healing on his temple—souvenirs from the warehouse explosion. Despite his disheveled appearance, his eyes were alert, taking in the scene before him.
“Didn’t even stir when the nurse came in earlier,” he added, stepping into the room.
I didn’t pull my hand away from Kit’s hair, my thumb still tracing gentle patterns against her scalp. “She looks fuckin’ drained.”
The weight of those words pressed down on me. Drained because of me. Because I was stuck in here, recovering.
Dimitri set the snacks on the table beside my bed and lowered himself into the chair beside her. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, eyes settling on Kit’s sleeping form.
“She’s barely slept. We tried to make her go home and get some rest, to take shifts with us, but she wouldn’t listen.”
I sighed, chest tightening.
Of course, she didn’t.
I couldn’t even be frustrated with her because, hell , I’d do the same if our situations were reversed and it was her in this bed. But that didn’t mean I had to like it. Any of it.
“I failed her.” The words were thick in my throat, the weight of them almost choking me.
The room fell into a tense silence, the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor and Kit’s soft breaths the only sounds that filled the space. Dimitri’s gaze didn’t waver from me. His eyes were unreadable, but there was a depth in them—a quiet understanding. He knew what it was like to feel responsible for those you love. To feel like you’d fallen short when they needed you most.
“I don’t know if I can live with it, D,” I admitted. “All of this is eating me up inside.”
My brother leaned forward, gaze serious, voice firm. “You didn’t fail her, Tommy. You fought for her. Took a bullet for her.”
“And then I bled out,” I spat, disgusted with my own mortality. “I had to listen, straining to put the pieces together while I laid there, unable to move—while she had to run. Fight. Kill a man.” Rage and shame mixed, a toxic brew in my veins. “She shouldn’t have had to pull the damn trigger. It should’ve been me putting a bullet through his brain.”
Dimitri’s eyes narrowed, but his voice stayed calm and steady. “You taught her well. And trust me… you’re not the only one who wishes he’d been the one to take that kill shot. But fuck, brother. You were ambushed, and you still took out three of the Valentino’s men. You gave our mate a fighting chance, and she won .”
The weight of his words hit me, but the anger still simmered. “I should’ve protected her better.” The guilt threatened to swallow me whole. “I promised her, D. I promised to keep her safe.” My voice cracked, and I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek to keep from falling apart. The metallic taste of blood was sharp in my mouth.
His hand landed on my shin, squeezing with a firm grip. “You did keep her safe. Goddammit, Tommy. you sacrificed yourself for her.” He hesitated, wiping a hand across his face, the emotion in his eyes raw and unguarded. “I don’t... I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you for that.”
I stared at him. Blinking. Barely able to process. “Any of us would have done it. You know I’d gladly die for her.”
“Trust me, I know. But how about we don’t put that to the test again anytime soon, alright? I’d like to keep our pack intact.”
I chuckled, then groaned because laughing was a bad fuckin’ idea. “Deal.”
Our gazes shifted to Kit.
My hand moved from her hair to take hold of her fingers. They were cold, and I wrapped my larger hand around hers, trying to transfer some of my warmth into her skin. Her nails were bitten down to the quick, another sign of her anxiety that made my chest ache.
As if he could read the thoughts straight out of my head, D scolded me firmly. “You’ve got to let go of that guilt. We may be a little worse for wear, but we’re all alive. That’s what counts.” He leaned forward, catching my eye. “All that matters now is moving forward. Healing.”
I nodded, my voice failing me as I drank in the sight of my mate like a man dying of thirst. The gentle rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathed. The way her eyelashes cast tiny shadows on her cheeks. The small cluster of freckles across the bridge of her nose.
“Healing is going to be a journey. Physically. Mentally…” I sighed. “Has she been talking about it?” I asked quietly, not needing to elaborate further.
Dimitri shook his head. “Not much. She’s been focused on you. On making sure you pulled through.”
Even now, even after everything, her first instinct was to care for others. To care for me. I didn’t deserve her. She was too good, too goddamn sweet for the likes of us.
“But if it helps, Gio said she doesn’t regret taking that shot. She’d do anything to protect us, same as we would for her.”
For her.
I’d do anything for her. Hell, I’d figure out how to steal the damn moon from the sky if she simply asked.
Kit had become the center of my world, my entire reason for breathing. I needed to get better for her. To be the man she deserved, the protector she needed. I couldn’t change what had happened, but I could be there for her now, help her through the aftermath.
My Omega stirred, her brow furrowing as she shifted in her uncomfortable position. I held my breath, thinking she might wake, but she settled again, her body clearly too exhausted to fully rouse.
“I’ll let the others know you’re awake,” D said. “They’ve been taking shifts, waiting for you to wake up properly.”
I managed a small smile, though it felt strained. “Tell them not to rush. I’m not going anywhere.”
As Dimitri left, I shifted in bed, ignoring the pain that flared across my abdomen, and lifted Kit’s hand to my lips, pressing a gentle kiss against her knuckles.
“I’m sorry, Butterfly,” I murmured against her soft skin. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
She didn’t stir, but the monitor beside my bed beeped a little faster, tracking the way my heart raced at her closeness even now, even broken and guilt-ridden as I was.
It let me know I was still here. Still alive. And after everything I’d been through, that was nothing short of a miracle.
I had a second chance, and there was no chance in hell I was going to waste it.