Episode 12 Kissed Awake, Still Furious #2
“It wouldn’t be cheating,” Court says. “She means fucking nothing to us, Pix. You know that.”
“She must mean something, pretty boy.” The way she wields his nickname is like a weapon, meant to cut.
He flinches from the slice. “She must or else you wouldn’t be bonding her.
I’m not saying you care about her, or hell, even that you like her.
But she means something to you. To all of you.
She means security. She means duty. She means stability for your pack.
Keeping your titles and your position in court.
She means a lot of fucking things. And the fact that you’re picking those things, it just proves how shallow and selfish you are. ”
“No,” I snarl. “No, if we were selfish we would pick you.” And that is the truth.
“If I were being selfish, if I didn’t have to think about the consequences of my actions, how it would reflect on my family, how it would affect my country, I would pick you, Florence.
If there was nothing else for me to consider but my happiness.
I would pick you. But I don’t have that fucking luxury, do I? ”
“Luxury,” she mouths the word and as she does all of the fight leaves her.
Just drains out of her. I mourn the loss of that fire, that spark that had kept her glowing.
Now she looks pale and worn down and on the verge of collapse.
My alpha is rattling against my ribs, snarling at me to fix it, to fix what I broke and that need only grows when she gives me the saddest excuse for a smile I’ve ever seen in my life and nods.
“Oh, I understand now. I’m a luxury you can’t afford.
Something you can look at through a window, something to covet but never own.
Something you would never choose because you’ve already decided the price is too high without checking the tag.
And in doing that, making that choice, you’ve all decided that my happiness, my health, my pain, and my fucking life, is an acceptable cost.”
“No, please, killer, you have to believe-”
“Days,” she says harshly. “You’ve known I was sick for days, and you didn’t bother to check on me or come to see me until I fainted on national television.
Until the entire fucking world knew I’m your fated mate.
” She shakes her head. “I wouldn’t be surprised if the only reason you’re here is to cover your asses.
So you can point to your cross Atlantic flight and say, ‘see? We did what we could for her.’” She backs up another step, almost to the door of her bedroom.
“No, you decided I was an acceptable cost to your duty a long fucking time ago, Thayer. Don’t pretend otherwise. ”
Another step and another. She’s almost out the door now, almost out of reach, and I know once she disappears from this room, we won’t get the chance to talk to her again for hours, maybe even days.
It's right there on the tip of my tongue to bark at her, not harshly, but just a gentle command to stay. To not run. To talk this out with us. But she’s also only been awake for an hour.
She just went through a physically traumatic experience and now we’re forcing her through an emotionally traumatic one.
She needs space.
She needs time.
She likely needs to talk with Haven to help her process her emotions.
And I can’t give her much, but I can give her that. For now.
So when she squares up her shoulders and tips up her chin and says firmly. “I think you should go now.”
I shake my head. “We won’t leave you like this, cor mea. But you can go, find your friend, take a breath and when you’re ready we’ll be here to work this out with you, yeah?”
I half expect my pack to argue, to ask that she stay now, but they must sense what I do, she’s on the verge of breaking further and we cannot let that happen. Will not.
So we’ll let her retreat and rebuild her defenses, while we do the same.
Her brow wrinkles, like she can’t figure out what our angle is, why we’re still here, why we’ll probably always be here, no matter what I said earlier about not being able to stay. Now that I’m here, with her, I don’t know how I’m ever going to be able to tear myself away.
Eventually she shifts back again, stepping out of the room entirely. “There’s nothing else to talk about, your highness,” she says as she turns her back on us. “You’ve made your choice, and I have made mine.”
And then she walks away from us again.
But this time, she’s not in a fancy gown, with her hair perfectly curled. No, this time she’s wearing nothing but my shirt and her long honey blond locks are a tangled mess. Beautiful either way, and utterly devastating to watch.
The five of us follow at a distance, keeping enough space between us so she knows we aren’t going to try to stop her, but unable to let her just leave our sight. We watch as she pads barefoot across the pool deck and slips into the main house.
“We have to fix this,” Grieves growls. “We have to make her understand that she needs us.”
Thayer runs a weary hand down his face. “She knows she needs us, mate. She doesn’t think we need her.
” He lets out a harsh laugh, that sounds choked as bloody hell and I can’t blame him for it.
“We’ve been spouting on about our duty ever since we met her.
She’s worried that’s all we see her as now. ”
“I don’t think I can go through with it,” Court says, sounding haunted.
“I can’t do that to her. I was already… fuck, sending her away broke me.
It broke us. I can’t bear the thought of even pretending with Isadora anymore.
Even if we never touch her, I can’t do that to Pixie.
” I feel him looking at me, but I don’t take my eyes off our omega, still framed by the door, but now hugging her dark haired pregnant friend.
“I’m sorry, Sythe. But the only thing that matters to me now is her. ”
I can’t smother the bite of betrayal that his words bring, the sting of hurt, and its teeth only dig deeper when the others echo his sentiment.
In time that feeling will fade, I know it.
Just like I know if given the choice, if I were anyone else—even one of them—I would feel the exact same.
I would give up my pack for her if it was the only way for us to be together.
But I’m not anyone else. I am the Prince of Bravonne and I don’t have the same options that they do.
So I nod. “I know. She’s our priority and we’ll figure out a way to get her through this. One that we can all live with.”
I really hope they don’t see that for the lie it is.