26. Grace
I slump onto the edge of the bed and shake my head, aware that if I speak, I’ll start crying all over again.
There’s a knock on my bedroom door, but I’m not ready to talk.
“I’m fine.” I lie. I’m never going to be fine again.
“Do you want to talk?” Harlow calls from the other side of the door.
The mere idea of discussing it with Harlow, an alpha, makes me nauseous. She’ll never see things from my perspective. She’ll probably advise me differently from Sienna and Ella. At least Sienna is a beta and understands how I’m feeling. And Ella, being an omega, knows how difficult it is turning my back on whom I think is my scent match. She knows most omegas would be on their knees and begging her alpha to accept them.
I wish I could, but I can’t.
Not after what my mom went through in her life. My father abandoned us when we were young, leaving his omega and his children alone.
Alphas are supposed to cherish their omegas and their offspring, yet my father threw us away like we were out of date.
The door creaks open regardless of my wishes. Harlow leans against the doorway with a bar of chocolate and a tub of ice-cream. “I’m sure my niece or nephew needs some sugary goodness.”
I try to give her my brightest smile. “Okay, but I don’t want to talk about alphas.”
“Alright,” she says with an enthusiastic smile. “We’ll watch TV and discuss the weather.”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll call Bardot. The three of us can sleep in here tonight and keep you company.”
“No,” I sigh, grateful for her help. “That’s not necessary. I’ll be fine.”
“Stop saying that, Grace. You’re not fine. You’ve had a shock seeing the baby’s father with another omega,” she says with another tight smile. “Maybe…”
I know she wants to say something else, but she stops talking and breaks a few chunks of chocolate from the block for me.
“Thanks, but I need the bar,” I say and pat my belly.
“You’re pushing it, omega.” But she smiles as she keeps hold of the chunks and hands me the rest of the bar. “All yours. I hope bubs appreciates me when it comes along.”
I press my hands on the mattress and push myself up to the top of the bed as Harlow slides next to me. She grabs the remote control and turns on the television. “Colton called me earlier.”
I nod, already knowing where the conversation is going. “Lucas and Stanton had a fight on the ice and then another one in the locker room.”
Or maybe not.
“Why?”
“Because of you.”
“Me? Why? Who started it?” I ask quietly.
“I don’t know. But what I know is Lucas doesn’t like that you were with Stanton, which, considering he was with someone else himself, he has a nerve.”
I sigh. “Stanton told me it would make Lucas jealous, but it doesn’t mean he wants me. It just means he doesn’t want Stanton to have me.”
She turns on the TV before flicking her way through the channels and then the various apps, searching for something. But it seems the more there is to choose from, the less she wants to watch.
“You don’t have to stay with me,” I say, holding up the chocolate. “I’m going to eat some of this and then try to get an early night.”
“You’re trying to get rid of me?”
I laugh. “I’m trying to get on with my life, Harlow. I made a massive mistake during my heat. I should’ve listened to Mom and I wouldn’t be in this mess. But I am, and now I have to get on with it.”
“And the cafe…” She chews the inside of her cheek for a moment. “Are you still going to try to buy it?”
I shrug my shoulders in response. “I don’t know. I still want to, but everything feels so complicated now. Maybe it was just a silly dream.”
Harlow looks at me with a look of concern in her eyes. “It’s not a silly dream, Grace. You’ve always wanted that cafe, and I know you can make it work.”
Her words sink in, warming my heart. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I shouldn’t give up on my dream so easily.
But there is only one way to do that, and it means I need to hustle my limited time on OmegaFans. Limited because of the growing bean inside me.
As I unwrap the chocolate, the doorbell rings, interrupting our conversation. Harlow glances at me before getting up and leaving my bedroom to answer it.
I hear muffled voices in the hallway before Harlow calls out, “It’s Colton!”
Her feet bound along the hallway to my bedroom. “I forgot we have a date tonight. Will you…”
“Go and enjoy yourself.”
“Are you sure? He won’t mind if I cancel.”
“He traveled an hour to come see you. Now enjoy your date.”
She grins. Her eyes sparkle as they always do when she’s around her boyfriend. “Thanks. I’ll check on you later.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too, sis,” she says, rushing over to me and pulling me into her tight embrace. “We’ll talk later.”
She backs out of the room and silently closes the door behind her.
I click on a TV show. The theme tune for Friends filters through my room as I relax into my pillow. This is my mom’s favorite TV show. We watch it together, over and over.
As I pop a chunk of chocolate into my mouth, I get ready to watch yet another episode as I ponder over why Stanton and Lucas were fighting.
I watched two episodes of Friends, ate a plate of Chinese food that Mom brought home, and after a quick phone call with Sienna, I’ve decided what I need to do.
“Bye love, see you in the morning,” Mom calls just before the door shuts and finally I’m alone. I have a few hours to myself, because Mom is working a night shift at the specialist omega clinic. Harlow is on a date with Colton, and Bardot is visiting her friend.
I was never going to do this again. But I set up my camera on my OmegaFans account after I ate my food and decided if I was doing this alone I have to make sure my baby is looked after. And I need to start now before he or she comes along. Also, before I begin to show.
I have a thriving account on BetaFans, but I know content makers on OmegaFans make so much more money from alphas than BetaFans content makers do. And the reason I’m happy I never deleted my account.
It also hides me from Lucas, who is blocked from finding this account.
Not sure why I’m worried about him watching. He warned me we were temporary. I should’ve known he had someone all along.
Cheating bastard.
And then he has the cheek to fight with Stanton.
My hand strokes over my belly as I wonder if he was jealous.
Stop it!
There’s something about Stanton I like, but in reality I think there’s a rivalry between the two men, and it’s the only reason he wants to help me.
And how long will that last? Not forever.
I have to look out for myself.
Still, I wish things were different, but I have no choice but to do this alone. Not only bring a baby into this world, but provide for it.
I groan, knowing I’m repeating my mother’s life.
Apart from my mother, I’ve never once heard of a single parent omega. Most alphas would burn the world down looking for their omega... their offspring.
Not Lucas, it appears.
I strip out of my comfy pajamas and pull on black lace panties and a matching lace corset with a garter belt. I fasten the three straps hanging on the garter belt around my left thigh before doing the same to the right.
I stare into the mirror. My red wig is already tied up in a high, perfectly straight ponytail when I push the black fox mask over my freshly made-up face.
After tightening the band under my ponytail until the mask is flush against my cheeks, I slide a layer of red gloss on my lips. I look different, the make-up, the hair, along with eyes that are surrounded by black eyeliner and lashing of mascara. Anything to hide who I am.
I only wish I had enough money to burn so that I could’ve bought myself a different colored wig. But as I’m trying to save, not squander money, I decided that’s one expense I really can do without.
My heart pounds in my chest as I stare at my reflection in the floor to ceiling mirror. My outfit is sexy but still provides enough coverage over my growing tummy, not that there’s enough of a bump for anyone but me to notice.
The lace and the straps give it full on sex appeal that I don’t normally go fully for. But time isn’t on my side.
I check myself for the last time and once I’m happy with how I look, I hit the green button to show myself as live and available on the app.
And hope the money will roll in.
Money I desperately need. I wish I could earn enough to purchase the café, but realistically, I need to first provide for my baby.
Money I know I’ll make so much quicker on OmegaFans, because it only has one thousand, seven hundred and twenty-five live omega streamers, as opposed to one hundred and sixteen thousand betas on BetaFans. I should earn with little effort and I plan to make as much money as I can.
I take a seat on my dresser, opposite the camera which is resting on my bedside table to give my subscribers a view of my bed, as well as me.
I took a break from doing live shows since I found out I was pregnant. Only uploading old videos and pictures for my subscribers because I didn’t want to miss out on the hundreds of dollars a month the app still handed to me.
As I cross my legs, the remote tucked in my panties vibrates, telling me my first viewer has logged on.
I smile and click to view.
The smile I plastered on my face disappears the moment I see Lucas’ face.
“How did you know? I blocked you.”
“New account. New number and a cheap app that messages me when you’re online.” He gnaws on his lips for a moment before he says, “I need your bank account details. I’ll make a transfer to you every week, so you don’t do this.”
“It’s not your choice,” I hiss.
“Please!”
“Don’t please me. This is what I need to do to...”
“To do what?”
“Nothing.” I sigh. “Why are you following me?”
“You’re having my baby.”
I push my fingers against my temple. “I’m sorry. I was wearing a birth control patch and it must have rubbed off.”
“It’s fine,” he mumbles.
“It isn’t.” I shake my head. “I should’ve made you wear condoms. I only put the patch on that day. It was probably not effective, anyway.”
“Grace...” My eyes flick to his. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” A sob sticks in my throat as he looks at me. “I thought you wanted me,” I blurt out. “I thought we were going to wake up together. And I’m sorry I’m pregnant, but you don’t have to look after me.”
“I’m not sorry for anything but you thinking I don’t want you.”
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. “You don’t. You’ve got an omega. Unless you’re so greedy you want two.” I pause for a moment, but he interrupts.
“I don’t, but please give me some time.”
Whatever.“No. I’m not playing second best to another omega, so fuck you, Henry... Lucas fucking Hilton.”
“Did you know who I was?” he asks. I see a subtle narrowing of his eyes.
I’m so fucking annoyed I could explode. “You’re not that important.”
“But your sister is seeing Colton.” He shrugs casually. “She must have made you watch some games.”
“Even if she did—which she didn’t.” I don’t know why I’m even explaining myself to him. “You’ve never shown me your face. I only knew it was you because…” I swallow as I realize what I’m saying.
“Tell me!”
I shake my head.
“Then I’ll tell you. You smell my scent as yours.”
I shake my head.
“Then how did you know it was me at the charity night?”
He leans back in the chair and now I see his chest and arms in all his muscular glory. A whine slips from my throat, and I cough to cover it up.
“You either smell me as yours or you already knew who I was,” he finishes.
“None of it matters because I’m seeing Stanton now.” My voice raises an octave or two in defiance.
“You’re being a bratty omega, Grace,” he says my real name with extra emphasis. “And I want you to keep seeing Stanton.”
“You do,” I whisper.
My heart plummets as I realize I’m being rejected once again.
He sighs. “I want you. I want you more than I can ever tell you, but it’s not safe for you to be in my life. And for that reason, I can’t be. Not yet.”
My mouth, eyes and face drop and I look at the floor and tears fall from my eyes like a dam.
“Look at me, Grace,” he says softly.
Slowly, I shake my head from side to side. “I can’t.”
“Grace, I’m giving you my b-blessing..” His voice chokes with a stammer. “To see Stanton. He’s a good man. He’ll be good for you.”
I lift my face to look at him. His eyes are red and I’m sure I see a tear, just before he disconnects and sends me a five thousand dollar tip with a message.
I’m sorry.
I turn off my account and throw myself on my bed.